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That conversation really killed my plans. I was going to visit friends and play with my kids but now I just want to bury myself in blankets and pillows until it is time to go to work again. I gotta shake myself out of this. Or do I give in a little bit. Can I schedule panic attacks? After I am done with errands we will have a panic attack, then I will read to the kids, another burial in blankets then dinner and good night. Perfect day off.

She is sick of your shit.

A look,

communicating,

so much unsaid,

And stated so clearly.

I know.

I think...

But I feel certain that I don't have to worry,

About him.

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I want to get more tattoos, but I don't want anyone to see them. I want them to be private. Only mine. However, I don't want to get any tattoos in my private areas. So I am forever dissatisfied.

I finally found a credit card company with enough surveillance on me to know I am an easy mark.

While we may get divorced, you can always count on me to be your dealer.

I am a chimney,

I can't get high enough.

The reality tunnels never cross.

He only perceives what he thinks I perceive,

And don't we all operate that way?

Can't even turn on the water,

And watch it drain.

He sees a pool because the drain is clogged from lack of maintenance.

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Life is pretty stupid sometimes,

And so am I.

Kind of an asshole thing to say on the day my husband is "served" the petition to divorce.

I don't even remember writing that stuff.

He thinks he is out of the woods because she stayed home,

But she intentionally spent much of that time alone.

Moths kiss her on the neck and arms,

Unwanted caresses from fluttering wings.

She plans to collect her things,

With no place, but a hall of alarms.

This is a scary time to leave,

I don't want to regret never doing it.

I don't know what to believe,

For a long time I knew it.

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I wonder how private this really is

I wait for the cue,

I wait for the nod,

That I can be with you,

And stroke your rod.

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