Shut up and get in, we're going on an adventure

Crypto: The guy in the row across from you playing his switch the whole night. You can hear pop-ish music play from his headphones even at that distance. Stardew Valley reflects in his glasses.

Gibraltar: The tired dad who claimed the far back left row and peacefully sleeps the whole trip. Lets out the occasional Dad Snore™  (you know the one)

Loba/Bangalore: The bougie woman in designer clothes who is too tired to deal with anything and puts up with no ones shit. Why are you taking a Greyhound queen? What happened?

Octane/Mirage: The absolute fuckhead in the row in front of you blatantly watching hardcore porn. What in life brought you to the point where you think the best time to jack it is in public transportation. Have you no shame? Nonetheless you loudly clear your throat and tell him to not and he’s too ashamed to use his phone for the entire rest of the trip. Fuck that guy.

Caustic: The guy near the front who wears his mask under his nose to cover more of his beard for some reason. Loudly coughs every 10 minutes. No one sits around him.

Wraith: The girl sitting in the row behind you who has some calming music and seemingly sleeps the whole ride. Sometimes you can see her staring out the window at the moon in the reflection of the window. Were it morning you feel as though you could be friends.

Rampart/Wattson: The ‘too friendly for their own good’ passenger near the back who no one has the heart to tell them to please be quiet. We would appreciate it if you didnt talk on the phone/to another passenger at 3 in the morning but we appreciate your attempt at whispering.