Ass Like Phil, Crisis Like Dan

sorry I’ve been absent recently!

honestly, around the end of 2016, I started to feel pretty overwhelmed. between trying to keep my fics updated and maintaining this blog, all on top attempting to make content based around gamingmas and having to produce something new each day to keep up, I felt like there was a lot going on!

but, I’m going to try and be around more again and so if you could maybe reblog this and help me recirculate my blog, that would be amazing!!

To our #saltiestbae @danisnotonfire 

it confuses me a little bit when people say that JJ didn’t have an anxiety attack and just ‘merely choked from the pressure.’ while this is partly true, seeing JJ’s attack visualised heavily hinted towards him being mentally ill. not to mention, mental illness will not always be obvious. with yuuri, it’s quite obvious as we constantly get his point of view and he is the main character. same with viktor, who basically describes his years of depression before he met yuuri in episode 10.

but here’s the thing. in real life, there’s no way of knowing what someone is going through on the inside unless they tell us (like viktor and yuuri). not to mention, JJ is a side character and we get to see his point of view for only a mere few minutes in episodes 11 and 12. but there’s a lot we can pick up on.

before I start this post, I just want to point out I’m not saying JJ being mentally ill is canon (although it would be nice if this was expanded on in season 2). this is merely my analysis and interpretation of JJ and his arc and what it means to me as a person with mental illnesses myself.

one of my most important headcanons for JJ is that he has ADHD. and for those who don’t know, i myself have it and the symptoms are not just being ‘hyperactive, energetic and loud’ 99% of the time before there’s a lot more to this illness than people think. yes, a lot of the time hyperactivity is a big symptom but here’s some that should be taken into consideration when headcanoning JJ with ADHD. some big symptoms of ADHD is that we are unable filter our thoughts and what we say, which makes us come off as rude or obnoxious. we can’t tell when we’re being too loud. we can’t deal with frustration very well which leads us to become anxious very easily. we have no sense of personal space sometimes and are often socially awkward without meaning to be. the list goes on. and truthfully, I see a lot of these symptoms and behaviours within JJ. so let’s get into analysing.

no head to mouth filter + social awkwardness.

if there’s one thing the fandom calls JJ, it’s obnoxious. at the end of the day, this is a matter of opinion however, I’ve noticed whenever JJ tries to interact with any of the other skaters, he does so in a playful yet slightly obnoxious manner. 

but it’s clear he has no malicious intent. this is one of the reasons i relate to JJ a lot. he tries to make friends with the skaters but is too socially awkward and tries to jump in with a playful joke or tease but ends up being rejected because he’s simply not close enough to make these jokes yet. he doesn’t think things through and act on impulse, with no filter which is common for most people with ADHD.

dealing with frustration + anxiety:

JJ doesn’t deal with frustration well and it’s heavily evident in episode 12. when he’s presumably asked if he’s okay, he instantly yells at his parents out of frustration and panic. it’s difficult to deal with frustration when you have ADHD because we feel emotions a lot more intensely than other people. and this leads us to experience severe anxiety like JJ. not the mention, ADHD can really kick you and your self-esteem to the ground, which we also see happen to JJ.

in episode 11, we see JJ’s anxiety hit him almost out of nowhere which is very accurate for someone dealing with an anxiety disorder. you can suddenly feel okay and confident in what you’re doing but suddenly, you can’t breathe and you feel like you’re falling. we get very strong imagery of this with JJ.

we see him literally falling from a cliff, below the rest of the skaters. this imagery is quite hard hitting to those who suffer from anxiety. you feel helpless, you feel like you’re physically falling and you’re below everyone else around you. this is not an athlete having a momentary break down. it’s an anxiety attack and a strong one.

low self-esteem and self-worth (JJ is a Yuuri Mirror)

within story telling and media, it’s common to have a character that mirrors the protagonist to see them in another light. JJ mirrors Yuuri in episodes 11 and 12 based on when we first see Yuuri: anxious, depressed and having low self-worth. a scene which proves JJ having low self-worth is this one.

JJ apologises for – what he assumes – failing his parents. he’s clearly devastated and it doesn’t seem to link to winning for the sake of winning or prove he’s the best. that was never JJ’s motivation. He wanted to do it for his fans and his family, and for Isabella. He wanted to prove he was worthy of their dedication. Someone with a high self-esteem – as JJ fronts – would not feel the need to prove their worth to anyone. not to mention, this scene directly mirrors Yuuri’s first one.

coping and defence mechanisms

people tend to invalidate the theory JJ suffers from anxiety due to his egotistical traits. however, as someone who suffers from pretty bad anxiety, faking self confidence is a big coping mechanism and this is another reason JJ is so relatable to me. i’d like to also mention certain reflex actions can also be your body’s way of coping, like JJ does with his JJ Style pose. that one’s a bit of a stretch, I know, but hear me out. even in the moment of feeling completely broken down, JJ gets up, poses and smiles for his fans as a thank you to them. what’s important to notice he forces himself to smile. the pose is his mask of confidence and individuality. he needs it.