probably no one that will read this. But thatās okay. I just need to vent and get some things off my chest. A week ago the love of my life broke up with me. We dated for nearly 2 years and we talked about spending the rest of our lives togetherā¦he obviously changed his mind. After we were dating for a little over a year, he went to San Diego, CA for 3 months for Marine bootcamp. I was so scared to be in a long distance relationship and I just wanted him to stay with me but I supported him and his dream. He wrote me the most romantic letters that made me smile endlessly, I loved going to the mailbox everyday seeing if there would be a letter from him. Our love felt stronger than ever. We were perfect together. We never got in fights or anything. He was the most patient, loving, supportive and motivated man I ever met. But that slowly began to fade away. After bootcamp he came home for a week and we had an amazing week together. He slept over every other day and it was so exciting seeing his transformation. Saying goodbye to him again was so hard. I just got used to having him back around to him leaving again. He was going back to California to go to Camp Pendleton for 2 months. This is when things started to go down hill very slowly. This was in May. I had no idea when I was going to see him again. We were able to text and stuff on the weekends which was exciting. We tried face timing but his friends were always around and he seemed to act different around them. I sent him a $300 pair of headphones he wanted which I now regret. But anyways, he started drinking with his friends on the weekends. He can withhold a lot of alcohol. He also hasnāt been around his phone in a long time so I understand he gets caught up in the moment and doesnāt want to be around his phone. But overtime he would go out with his friends and he was drinking he would stop talking to me for hours. Heās half way across the country, I donāt know ANY of his friends names, heās drinking underage and not answering meā¦Iām obviously going to be worried. This happened a couple of times. I would get so worried because his phone is the only source of communication I have with him. He would apologize and tell me everytime that i was worrying over nothing. Which always ended up being true until August. In July, he found out he would be stationed in 29 Palms, CA. Which is in the middle of nowhere. Apparently the Army, sold it to the Marines because they thought it wasnāt inhabitable for humans. I may have worded that wrong but its just a sucky place to get stationed. He was pretty bummed about it but I was relieved he wasnāt going to be stationed in Japan. Now heās stationed and doing real Marine things. We started to argue about the dumbest things. We argued once about how he doesnāt like the menās clothes at Abercrombie & Ā Fitch (where I work). I simply said some of our new stuff looked like what he would like and it turned into an argument. He was always the type of person to be very stubborn to change his opinons on anything. And these arguments would make me so angry because he would always make me feel so stupid for thinking the way i doā¦He always told me to stick up for myself but when I did to him, I could never win. He would never agree to disagree. He also started to compliment me less. Weāre in a long distance relationship and I need some sort of love. He wouldnāt sweet talk or flirt with me at all. All we would talk about is the Marineās or anything involving him. I understood I wasnāt his #1 priority and I accepted that. But I started to feel like a #7 priority on his list. I started to feel less and less like his girlfriend. Weāve been each others best friends which I think is so important. We could talk about anything and keep the love alive. But the love was slowly fading out. He never brought up our future anymore. And i started to doubt if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He had so many plans after the Marines he talked about but they started to not involve me. This is when it gets more fucked up and I donāt know why I even bothered to stay with him. We started dating in November 2013ā¦Iāve been working out and eating healthier and trying to lose some weight. He was always very supportive and great at motivating me but it started to become obsessive to him. When my family went to San Diego for his bootcamp graduation, I felt terrible about the way I looked. Every time I told him i was on my way to the gym or something he would tell me to have a good work out, etc. But he started to tell me i was making excuses not to go. He always made me feel like i wasnāt doing enough when i was doing what i could. One day he told me that he was concerned about my weight. I know I gained weight over these past 2 years and Iām literally doing everything I can to lose some. I would say I gained maybe 10 pounds but this āinterventionā made it seem like I gained 50. He told me I was on my way to becoming obese, I used to look better, i donāt want to look sexy for him.. and the worst thing is that he said when he sees me in Decemeber for Christmas and theres not an obvious change in my body..he doesnāt know how heās going to feel. WTF?! I tried sticking up for myself and told him how wrong what he was saying to me was. I told him he should find someone else you like looking at nakedā¦We made plans to come down again to San Diego for Labor Day weekend and it was all i could think about. (He had that stupid intervention a couple days after this weekend) He started to become so dull and seemed so uninterested in me. I hoped Labor Day weekend would change things and bring back to the spark I could no longer feel. My mom and sister came with and our family friends were meeting us there as well. We brought a lot of Alexās stuff to him like some clothes, his guitar, and PS4. Iām starting to think the only reason he bothered staying with me is because we were bringing his shit to him. My mother is an angel. She paid for the hotel, meals, and all activities we did. Alex was always on his phone and on his guitar. He hated when I would put my head on his shoulder because it was too much PDA. Iāve always loved taking pictures with him but he started to judge me for some of the ideas I had. He seemed more excited about his guitar being back than anything. Our last full day together we all went to the beach and me and Alex walked to a sandwhich shop. We were waiting for our food when he said āI want you to answer this honestly. How serious are you about losing weight??ā Now iām in a bikini, he was acting weird all day and he asks me this in public? i put my sunglasses on, thank the heavens our food is ready i take it and storm out of there. He follows behind and is trying to keep up but Ā i was so angry. He has no filter and doesnāt care at all about my feelings. He says i took it the wrong way. We get back to the beach and i didnāt tell my mom what happened but he was trying to act normal and talk to me but i gave him very short answers. I eventually got over it because it was our last day and he did apologize. we did get in another argument that weekend but i donāt remember what it was about, he just snapped at me for making a joke. We spent half of monday together before we had to go to the airport. We packed up and he was still more interested in his damn guitar than me. I wanted to make out with him one last time and i was trying but he didnāt fucking want to. I felt so stupid for even trying or thinking he would want to. We had lunch at buffalo wild wings where he seemed so uninterested. i was so nervous for saying goodbye. after lunch, he was more interested in his uber ride than saying bye to me. who wouldāve thought that would be the last time i would see him. We barely kissed or had any romantic goodbye that i wanted. I was still so happy and had a great weekend with him. A week later he broke up with me. The little arguments didnāt start until a couple days after that weekendā¦the worst one being the one about my weight. He crushed any confidence i had. On September 15, 2015 is when he broke up with me. It came out of nowhere. It was a normal day and i had to go to work at 4. It was going to be a long work day so I decided to skip the gym and chill in bed until i had to work. He didnāt understand why i didnāt wake up earlier and go and was furious at me. I thought it was ridiculous he was mad about that so i told him he was annoying me and i didnāt want to talk to him. i wasnāt going to talk to him until after work and i donāt get service so i wouldāve be able to anyways. I went downstairs to make some lunch and came back up and looked at my phone to the beginning of the end. He pretty much said we canāt do this anymore. he told me that its no secret he treats me like shit and that i could have a guy here and have it much better. I kept telling him not to do this but he already made up his mind. I was hysterically crying and i had to be at work in an hour. I was so angry he was doing this now. After everything i did for him, my family did for himā¦he breaks up with me. My mother spent over $4000 going to san diego just the week before and he breaks up with me now? Why the fuck did we even go there? Im glad its over. He became the exact person i didnāt want him to be. I knew the Marines would change him but heās just a complete asshole. Heās a completley different guy that i fell in love with. I woke up that morning loving him and went to bed that night hating him. He wished me the best but i didnāt even answer him. I donāt wish him the best in anything right now. Im so angry, hurt, confused, sad and heartbroken. This is a feeling I never thought i would feel again. Our love was once so strong and beautiful. Somewhere we went wrong and it became stressful. I feel this past year of us dating and my life was such a waste. I waited around for the next time i would see him. I willingly stuck through a long distance relationship and supported him and loved him more than anything in my life. I gave him everything. He completely wrecked me. I hate him. He has no cares in the world about this. He acts as if i never even exisited to him. It kills me that he was my world and now hearing his name makes me angry and sad. He didnāt even have the nerve to call me to break up with me, it was over text. I donāt know who he is anymore. I donāt know how i will ever fall in love again after this. Ive never felt so hurt and betrayed in my life. I went from loving him with every part of me to hating him with every part of me so quickly. I hope he realizes how much he fucked up. I donāt know how people move on from break ups. I really donāt. And i donāt know how he can act so heartless. I regret every penny i spent on him. i apologize daily to my mom for going to San Diego. I hate him more than anything in this world. I hope he burns in hell for all i care. He turned into an in compassionate asshole and i canāt believe i ever loved him
stormborns
baratheonpilled
titsay
vaporwave
tangentwithtanner
