dreamer always

I will always chose to be wax. Not marble

Walking away from love is never easy, but that's what makes us strong

1st Jan 2017 The day started late in 401, had idli for breakfast along with a pinch of waiting for a good night msg that I didn't recieve. Had Mandi for lunch with the fam. Making memories. The caramel custard was amazing. To remove the sadness, tried hukka and ended up with a headache. The cure for was cold evening breeze on the terrace. I couldn't sleep all night because of .... And .... After a long time I was sleeping in my room, I was kinda scared.

30th Dec 2016, Bid farewell to a friend who stayed for a week.

I have found out through friends that new people find me intimidating to approach. In my head I feel I'm a very sweet person who is approachable and I'll genuinely make sure that the other person is comfortable and at ease to talk to me. For the longest time and infact even now I have strong feeling that I'm nothing. Like I hold no value in this infinite universe. When people say that they are intimidated by this facade that I wear. I find it amusing and empowering. I want to be so successful one day that people find my humility surprising. I'll be just as I am now. I feel I always live a dumbed down version of myself. I'm scared of letting people know my thoughts and opinions. The fear of not being understood and laughed at is omnipresent. Maybe subconsciously .. always at the back of my mind. This constant dear all through school and college.

Insecurity I wish I wasn't caught up in vanity. I wish I didn't look at myself in every mirror I walked past. On some days I smile at what I see, and on some days I'm my worst critic. I look at girls who are confident in how they look and I'm mesmerised my them.

Aaj kal toh tumse baat karne ka dil bhi nai karta ab. Jee karta hai bethi rahoon saamne tumhare. Takti rahoon chehra tumhara. Sharam se jhuki hui nazar uthakar deedar karoon tera. Alfaz kam padjate, Jo baat zuban bayaan na karti woh tum aankhon pe padlena. Padhoge na? Samjhoge na?

I think I have spiralling on my emotional roller coaster which moves at a rather slow pace ask these years. It's like I have felt and lived through every emotion and I'm just reliving them over on another day. This is the worst thing when you are desperately trying to be a writer.

Why are we all still on Tumblr??

I tank top you like you are just a friend. You talk to me like I'm your best friend. I don't want both of these titles. I want you to love me like you have never loved anyone before