moony :)

— on going series —

Demons and Savages (tsu’tey x reader) [5/?]

chapter 1 — chapter 2 — chapter 3 — chapter 4 —

chapter 5 —

Moon Girl (kiri sully x koa royen’tian) [1/?]

chapter 1

— one shots —

[X]— there are none at this time.

pairing: kiri sully x metkayina male oc (koa royen’tian)

content warnings: bullying, foul language, depictions of poor mental health, cultural differences between the omatikaya and metkayina, very brief world building, strays from canon, slowish burn???, weird girl x awkward boy. kiri and koa are 19.

word count: ??? (roughly edited)

pov: 3rd person with a heavy focus on kiri

summary: kiri feels out of place in the new village her family calls home. she has suffered great loss after great loss that she cannot seem to sway— and sadness drowns her harsher than any wave can. it is in an unlikely large friend that she begins to feel at home in the sea despite the hardships she faces and the ever-present thump of a mighty, mysterious heart in her ears.

fun tidbit: listen to “moon girl” by ha vay because that song inspired me to write a story centered around kiri

ONE

— demon blood —

kiri had the same dream every night.

without fail for as long as she she could remember, she’d only ever had one dream. the forests of pandora were most beautiful to her when sunlight spilled in through the trees like hundreds of spotlights. she walked in the warm sunspots as the grass tickled her feet each night she fell asleep. she was weightless in her dreams. she was happy. the kind of happy that tickled her stomach and made her smile for no reason at all.

woodsprites floated around her head. atokirina. blessed seedlings. hundreds of them swam through the sky. in her dream, she would reach out her hands for them and they would come to her. landing in her palms and on her arms, their feather-light wisps felt like soft kisses. as more and more came to her, their white light was all that she could see.

it blinded her as they swarmed her.

she could not shake them away. she could not get them off. hundreds upon hundreds of woodsprites crowded her. they clung to her arms. her hair. her fingers. her loincloth. they wiggled their way into her mouth until she was choking on them.

kiri was never well-rested.

“baby girl,” jake said from behind the privacy curtain she’d made out of cloth. “you can’t lay in here all day, you know…”

“i’m tired, dad.” kiri said just loud enough to be heard. curled on her side, she stared at the bracelet on her wrist. a goodbye gift from her grandmother.

“i know, sweetheart, but you’re always tired.” jake said. when she did not response, he sighed and shifted his weight. “can you get up soon? you should be out with your brothers learning how to swim and dive. at this rate, tuk is going to be a better swimmer than you.”

jake meant well.

really, he did— but sometimes kiri wished he would just leave her be.

kiri pushed her privacy curtain aside as she came out. she gave him a very unenthusiastic wave of her hands. ‘ta-da’.

jake leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her head. “atta girl, kiri. food is over there if you’re hungry. you should eat before you go.”

kiri had no appetite. at least, not so fresh after waking up. the dream always made her throat hurt. it was like she could still feel the woodsprites clogging her throat and wiggling in her mouth. it made her shiver.

the sun was unrelenting in awa’atlu. unlike the forests she’d grown up in where the towering trees offered shade, there was no such thing on the beaches. to find shade like that, she’d have to venture far back into the mangroves or keep hidden in the mauri pods.

“look, it’s kiri!” tuk exclaimed from the water, pointing one of her small, dark blue fingers.

kiri sat down on the edge of the woven walkway and dipped her feet into the water. she smiled as her siblings swam toward her. neteyam pushed tuk up out of the water so she that could sit beside their sister. lo’ak grasped the ledge and began to do pull ups.

“are you okay, kiri?” tuk asked. her breath was caught up in her throat from all the swimming.

“i’m fine, baby sister.” kiri said as she pushed tuk’s wet braids out of her face. “how long have you been able to hold your breath for today?”

“two minutes!” tuk said with a beaming smile

“wow. that’s longer than lo’ak.” kiri said.

lo’ak scoffed, splashing kri’s legs with water. “at least i’m in here learning. you haven’t been in the water since we got here.”

kiri stuck her tongue out at him.

he raised an unkind finger that their mother would’ve scolded him for.

he was right though.

the sully family arrived in awa’atlu three days ago. while her siblings spent most of their days in the water learning from tsireya, kiri hid in the sully family’s mauri. she laid in the corner she had claimed for herself behind her privacy curtain and cried.

who could blame her?

having to pack up and move from home was hard enough. add on the fact that her dearest friend had been abducted by the RDA’s blue team and the pain she felt was an ever-stinging wound.

the sea angered that wound.

the salt did not mesh well with her constant heartache.

it was hard to hold her breath because it was hard to focus. her mind felt as scrambled as eggs.

“come swim with us.” neteyam said. he placed his hand on her knee and gave it a small squeeze. “it is fun to watch lo’ak fail at diving.”

“bro, come on.” lo’ak said with a roll of his eyes.

“alright, alright.” kiri said as she shooed away her brothers from her legs. she stood up and held her hand out for tuk. “jump with me?”

tuk nodded. “uh-huh!”

“one…two…three!”

kiri and tuk jumped into the ocean together. the splash was loud in her ears and the bubbles tickled as they swam by her. surfacing, kiri smiled as tuk laughed. wading in the water all together, the sully siblings decided to see who could dive the deepest before needing to come back up for air.

“ready, set, go!” lo’ak said.

gasping all at the same time, all five of them disappeared into the water. swimming down, it was more of a race than a test of skill. neteyam was the furthest down. his longer limbs gave him that edge. tuk fell behind— and she made sure to keep lo’ak with her. he struggled to fight her off as she clung to him.

kiri found it hard not to laugh.

she swam beside neteyam. he smiled at her as they swam down and down and down. it didn’t take long for her chest to feel heavy. if it was any consolation, even her brother seemed low on air and he’d practiced his breath-hold for three days.

neteyam grunted under the water and kiri turned to look up at him. pencil straight, he tried to push himself further down by swinging his arms. she did the same. staring at him, she could see he needed air. she did, too, but she was stubborn.

they could’ve been twins— her and neteyam. born only days apart, they acted like it. they were entirely opposite in every single aspect except their desire to win.

neteyam bailed.

blowing out all the air in his lungs, he rose to the surface. kiri followed shortly after. as the eldest siblings surface, they both gasped.

“tuk cheated! she tried to choke me!” lo’ak exclaimed with tuk still stuck to his back. “i want a redo!”

tuk stuck her tongue out and giggled, waving her hands beside her head. “na-na na-na-na.”

lo’ak dove backwards, sending both of them under the water. like the good brother he was, he pulled tuk back up onto his back as they both laughed.

“you are a good diver. how are you that good if you haven’t practiced?” neteyam asked once he caught his breath.

kiri shook her head, her lips resting under the water. “because i’m obviously the gifted child?”

neteyam and lo’ak both rolled their eyes at her.

with her siblings, kiri could hardly remember why she was sad. sitting with tuk in her lap atop the woven walkway, they watched as their brothers competed with each other for who had the best dive.

lo’ak dove straight— except his legs flopped up in the air instead of staying in place.

“seven!” kiri said as he resurfaced.

tuk gave him a thumbs down. “four!”

lo’ak booed her and she booed him back.

neteyam dove next. he was fast. a sharp jump off the walkway was what any diver wanted— but his form wasn’t as put together as lo’ak’s was.

“ten!” tuk said, clapping her hands together.

“oh, you’re a little shit.” lo’ak laughed.

“eh…” kiri said, tossing her head from side to side. “probably like a five.”

“a five? you’re saying this skxawng did better than me?” neteyam pointed at lo’ak.

“sorry, bro. im just the greates— agh!”

kiri laughed as neteyam pounced on lo’ak and both of them went under. tuk laughed, too. the sisters watched as their brothers raced to the swallow water and wrestled with each other.

“hey!” lo’ak yelped. “don’t pull my tail, asshole!”

“i’m gonna go pull his tail.” tuk said as she scurried off kiri’s lap.

kiri didn’t stop her. she laughed into her hands as tuk attacked from above. she jumped onto neteyam’s back, causing him to crash down into the water with her. lo’ak was too busy cackling to know he was in danger. his startled yelp made kiri laugh all the more as tuk tugged his tail. he grabbed tuk by her hips and launched her through the air. she tucked into herself as she hit the water.

“again!” tuk gasped as she resurfaced. “throw me again, lo’ak!”

“c’mere you little devil. i’m gonna throw you all the way to earth.” lo’ak said as he reached for her.

kiri smiled to herself as both brothers took turns tossing tuk. they turned everything into a competition. who could throw her further? who could throw her higher? neteyam, obviously. kiri didn’t need to stick around to see it.

out of the mauri for the longest she’d been out since they got here, she enjoyed the way the warm breeze felt on her face. she walked the cove by her family’s home alone. her siblings laughter faded under the sound of the crashing waves. she liked the way the waves wipes away her footprints as she walked the shore. she could see shells peeking up at her.

she crouched down and fished out a pretty pink one with her extra finger. rubbing away the sand and rinsing it in the water, she smiled to herself. she’d make a necklace out of it. tucking it into the pouch around her waist, she walked the beach looking for more eye-catching shells.

she wondered what her grandmother would think of a place like this. would she like the sound of the waves? would she enjoy the smell of salt in the air? would she like the way sand felt under her feet? it was hard to know. maybe she would, maybe she wouldn’t.

spider would like it here.

he’d love it here.

he’s be a good diver. with his oxygen-mask, he’d never need to surface unless it ran out. he’d enjoy the sun. he’d enjoy the competition that being in a new place brought. he’d like fishing. he’d like exploring the mangroves.

kiri lowered to sit as her core went weak. she held her stomach and sank down onto the wet sand.

sadness rotted her insides.

it suffocated her like the woodsprites in her dreams.

it was visceral. it made her eyes sting and her chest cave.

oh, spider…

what were they doing to him?

was he even alive…

“she lives after all.”

kiri turned her head. her ears perked as they approached. aonung. tonowari’s son. she recalled his name as he and his friends walked out from the sea. his teal skin soaked in the sunlight. his double-lidded eyes bore into her like a nantang.

“where have you been? you don’t like to swim?” aonung asked as he hooked his fishing bow over his shoulder.

“i haven’t felt like it…” kiri said as she gathered all her shells. she stood and wrapped her beaded shawl around her.

“you’re not meant for it.” aonung laughed as he looked her up and down. “i mean look at you. what kind of tail is that? your arms are so thin. you have demon-hands.”

kiri scowled him as she balled her shawl around her hands and clutched it closer to her. her face burned with embarrassment as aonung’s friends laughed at her.

“you guys would be bad climbers.” she said in a voice too soft. she swallowed around the lump in her throat. “you…you make fun of me because we’re here. if you came to the forest, you’d fall to your death trying to climb around our home base in the floating mountains.”

“you’d have to be stupid like a baby to fall and kill yourself.” aonung said as he stood in front of her. a sharp grin slid across his lips. “it’s very easy to drown. i bet if you went outside the reef you wouldn’t last thirty seconds.”

“i think you’d be surprised.” kiri muttered with her chin tipped high.

“oh?” aonung grabbed her arm and tugged her forward a step. “should we test your skill, demon?”

“your father would skin you alive if he heard you talking like this, aonung. especially to a girl.”

kiri and aonung turned as he emerged from the water. aonung let go of her arm instantly and took a step aside. it was not out of fear. no. the sharp smile on his lips only worsened as the other metkayina male walked up the beach.

he was tall. really tall.

“empty handed again, koa?” aonung flicked his head toward the empty net on his shoulder.

“don’t you have better things to do besides pester people all day? i’m sure your mother has chores for you to do and your father has something to reprimand you for.” koa said.

his voice like was like the wind.

the wind up in the mountains. the wind that brushed by her ears when she rode on the back of her ikran. mighty. clear. comforting.

“c’mon,” one of aonung’s friends said with a flick of his head. “let’s go skin our kills.”

aonung looked down at kiri one last time. he bared his teeth in a vicious smile before he and his group departed. she let her shoulders drop once they were gone. when she turned her head, she was surprised to see the tall male as close as he was. she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“sorry,” he laughed under his breath. he bent down and retrieved a shell from the sand. “you dropped this.”

“oh,” kiri said. she plucked it from his large, teal fingers. she must’ve dropped it when aonung tugged her arm. “thank you…”

“are you alright?” the stranger asked with a small tilt of his head. he looked in the direction aonung had left in. “he can be a real asshole.”

“yeah…” kiri said. she followed his gaze. nodding her head, she whispered, “yeah.”

“what’s your name?”

when kiri looked up at him, she had to tilt her head far back. the metkayina male was a more than a head taller than her— and he was at least three times as broad. his arms were big. he had muscle. omatikaya males were so lean and so lanky that she forgot muscle could look that big.

on the right side of his face, he had a beautiful tattoo on his temple that crested down his cheek to underneath his eye, black inky swishes and swirls decorated his face. small dots were placed strategically within and around the lines. she wondered what it meant— if it meant anything at all.

“my name?” she shook her head. “kiri. sully.”

“kiri’suli…” he said with a slight tilt of his head.

she shook her head as her mouth popped open. “oh, no— not…no. my name is kiri. kiri. sully is my last name. kiri sully.”

“kiri. it’s nice to meet you. i’m koa.” he said extending out his hand. “koa royen’tian.”

“koa,” kiri seemed to breathe his name. for some reason, her head was spinning and she felt really hot. was she embarrassed? “thanks for butting in when you did.”

“why? would you have swam out to the reef to prove yourself?” koa asked with a slight smile.

“yeah, probably.” kiri shrugged.

koa’s eyes widened. his head tilted and his smile lessened. “oh. you’re serious…well, i’m glad i stepped in when i did then because you’d…well…” he looked out past the reef and shook his head.

kiri raised one of her eyebrows. “are you saying i would’ve drowned?”

koa’s smile was gone entirely and he went ridged. “no. no, not at all. you— you’re probably a great swimmer. i just know you would’ve both gotten in trouble.”

kiri laughed. the smile on her face was sweet and soft. “i’m just messing with you.”

“oh,” koa sighed. relief washed over him like a soothing wave. “good. that’s good…”

“are you a hunter?” kiri asked, pointing towards the net hanging on his shoulder.

“a fisherman, yes.” koa said, patting the empty net. kiri raised a brow at him. he let out a low laugh, “i swear, i’m decent at it. i already turned in my haul. that’s why this is empty.”

kiri nodded and hugged her shawl to her. she watched as he shifted his weight. was he eager to get going? she shouldn’t keep him any longer if he was busy.

“do you have to go?” kiri asked, glancing over her shoulder towards the village.

“i should. i have mouths to feed.” koa said with a small sigh. he placed his hands on his hips and looked down at her. “maybe i’ll see you around? don’t be shy. if you see me, say hi.”

kiri nodded and dipped her head the smallest bit. “alright…thanks again.”

koa dipped his head in farewell. kiri tucked her tail as he walked passed her, clutching it as close as she clutched her shells. his footprints in the sand were so deep it took the waves many tries to wipe them away completely. his large tail swished like water itself as he walked. his long, wet hair dripped down his toned back. the beads in his curls clinked as he walked.

he looked back and kiri was quick to look away. she looked down at the sand and pretended to be more interested in the shells. she placed her hand on her chest and let out a soft exhale.

so embarrassing…

kiri continued her hunt for pretty shells in order to distract herself. not only from the sadness and the annoyance that aonung had caused her to feel, but from the ticklish feeling in her belly that lingered seeing koa look back at her.

yet it couldn’t distract her from the thump whispering by in the breeze. her ears perked. she looked up from the sand, her tail flicking behind her.

she could hear it.

thump…thump…thump…

steady.

slow.

mighty.

while the noise had always — in some way or another — worried her, it was comforting to hear. a heartbeat she often assumed was her real mothers. tears brimmed on her lashes but she blinked them away. she didn’t need to cry. she didn’t want to cry.

she had been afraid that the sound would not follow her. she had been scared that the thump, thump, thump that resonated with her own beating heart would remain something she could only hear in the forest.

“i see you,” kiri whispered into the ocean breeze.

she didn’t know what she spoke to.

she didn’t know what heard her.

she just knew that it did.

the waves spilled up the shore and reached for her. a smile curled across her lips as she dragged her hand through the bubbling, clear water. it was warm against the sun-kissed sand. she giggled as small, shelled waterbugs crawled up and out of the sand. they crept across her fingers and the back of her hand. the water was strong enough to wash most of them away and she watched as they burrowed back into the sand.

kiri returned to her family’s mauri pod with a handful of shells and a smile that could’ve knocked jake off his feet if he had been standing.

“having a good day, baby girl?” jake asked as she sat beside him by the fire. he was preparing food for dinner.

kiri never answered that question. instead, she laid out the shells beside her dad and looked up at him with those always-wide yellow eyes. “do you like these? do you think they would make good necklaces?”

jake placed down the stick he used to poke and prod at the frying fish and leaned over to inspect the shells. he picked up one of the pink ones. “this one is nice. look at how pointy it is.”

“yeah, i like this one, too.” kiri said, taking it from his hand. “it’s eye-catching. i think it’ll have to make it the centerpiece.”

kiri had a habit of keeping what was hers to herself. she did not like when other people touched what was hers without asking— and, of course, her dad had a habit of forgetting to ask before touching.

“will you make me one?” jake asked as he flipped over the fish. it sizzled over the flame. the noise tickled her ears. he glanced at his daughter. “i’d wear one.”

“yes, of course.” kiri picked up a dark blue shell and held it out for him to see. “i like this one for you.”

jake had to lean back to see it clearly, looking down his nose. he nodded. “i like it a lot. it’ll look nice with my other ones.”

kiri smiled.

around jake’s neck sat three layers of necklaces that kiri had made him over the years. forest-inspired necklaces. an ikran tooth that she had carved ‘dad’ into as a small girl. the handwriting was awful but jake hadn’t taken it off once since she’d handed it to him. the others were various beads that she had carved and charms she’d made. a T for toruk makto. it sat closest to his throat like a choker.

“it’ll be your first ocean one.” kiri said as she picked away the chipped edges and cleaned away the sand from the crevasses.

“it will.” jake watched her without her knowing, a soft smile on his lips.

he always admired his children when they weren’t paying attention. he would look away when they looked up at him only to look back when something else caught their eye. he didn’t know why he did that. he’d never been the awkward type— but fatherhood had pulled deep emotions to the forefront and he sometimes had a hard time expressing them.

he loved his children. more than anything— and they all knew it despite how hard he could be on them.

kiri had not been spared from one of jake’s many lectures. less so than her brothers, but still enough to instill in her a bad habit to roll her eyes. even then, as angry as he could get and as strict as he could be— he still wore his baby’s necklaces around his neck and tucked each of them in each night.

“do you think mum will be kept safe?” kiri asked in a whisper. she couldn’t look up at him. she focused intently on the shell even when it was clean.

“no one back home would ever let anything happen to her, baby girl.” jake said softly. he reached a hand out and stroked the back of her head. “i promise.”

kiri leaned into his touch for just a moment before she stood up. she gathered her shells. “i am going to make your necklace now.”

“thank you, sweetheart,” jake said loud enough for her to hear as she hurried off. she hid behind her privacy curtain and he could hear her sniffle.

no matter how much jake wanted to comfort her, she was too much like him. she’d never accept it. from anyone. not him. not her mother. not her brothers or her sisters. not even her grandmother.

jake sighed to himself and poked at the smoking fish.

— 🪐 —

kiri got up the next morning without having to be asked. before she left the mauri pod, she gifted not only jake the necklace she promised him, but neytiri one, too. it was blue like jake’s. she had made them similar and carved a little heart into the center of each shell that hung as the focal point.

jake and neytiri each pressed a kiss to her cheek at the same time before she exited out the door. despite the fact that she rolled her eyes at the affection, she smiled as she walked with a bounce in her step down the woven walkway. behind her, her brothers bickered.

“i’m going to hold my breath for five minutes today.”lo’ak said.

neteyam laughed aloud and clapped the younger on his back. “oh, bro, you are a comedian.”

kiri turned as she heard the splash.

neteyam surfaced and nearly roared louder than the crashing waves. “you are dead, lo’ak! dead! i’m going to kill you!”

“fuck you, bitch!” lo’ak said before he turned tail and ran.

neyetam clicked his tongue and his ilu swooped right underneath him. he would cut lo’ak off where ever he decided to dive and get his revenge.

jake came storming out of the mauri. “where the hell is that boy? does he realize how loud he just was?”

“don’t worry, dad. neyetam is going to beat his butt for it.” tuk said as she bounced around kiri to stand by jake’s side. the whole of her little hand grabbed one of his fingers and she tugged at him. “come swim with me.”

“don’t you have lessons with tsireya?” jake asked as he looked down at his youngest.

“daddd,” tuk whined, shaking his hand. “please? you never swim with us!”

jake didn’t even try to resist. he patted her head. “alright, munchkin. give me a second to clean up and then we’ll go together.”

“kiri, are you going to come?” tuk asked with a beaming smile.

“i will join later. for now, i’m going to try my luck with an ilu.” kiri said with a small wave.

“be careful,” jake called after her.

she gave him a thumbs up before she continued down the woven walkway. she walked along the edge, watching the way hundreds of fish and marine life swam just below the surface. an ilu glided down below, seeming to watch her every step.

it followed kiri all the way down to the beach. the water was warm as she walked her way into it little by little. holding her hand out, she waited, eyes wide and posture tense. almost instantly, an ilu bumped its head against her hand.

kiri laughed as it pushed its head up out from the water and clicked at her. she gave it a gentle pat, dipping her head as a small hello.

“look how pretty you are,” kiri whispered as the ilu swam around her. she spun as it swam in circles, keeping her eyes on it.

ilu were not like ikran.

it would not try to kill you if you formed tsaheylu.

she was still cautious and gentle regardless.

“she’s looking to see if you have any snacks to give her.”

kiri turned. on the beach stood koa. he had his fishing bow over his back today. no net in sight. perhaps he was hunting something bigger.

“i don’t have anything to give her.” kiri said as she watched him walk into the water.

“here,” koa reached down into the pouch by his waist and pulled out a piece of fish. he handed it to her.

“thanks,” kiri said.

kiri smiled as the ilu clicked at her. she turned her head from side to side to survey the snack in kiri’s hand. extending out her palm, she let the ilu take from it. koa bit back a laugh as the ilu stole it and swam off.

“that is eli’sae,” koa said with a smile down at kiri. “she’s young. mischievous. she’ll come back to you if you keep bringing snacks. sometimes, ilu are picky with riders when they are young.”

“do ilu bond like ikran do?” kiri asked as she watched eli’sae jump from the water and dive back in.

“no but they have favorite people.” koa said. he let out a loaded sigh, “now a tsurak is like an ikran but they have no bond for life. you must form a deep connection by trail and error. my tsurak did not like me at first. sometimes, i think she still does not.”

“i have no interest in riding one of those. i saw my dad fly off his and i think i’ll pass.” kiri said with a small wave of her hands.

“not a warrior, forest girl?” koa asked with a curious tilt of his head.

“no,” kiri laughed and wrapped her arms around herself. she shook her head and said, “i leave fighting to my brothers. i like medicines. healing is what i enjoy.”

“i’ll come to you when i bleed then, little tsahik.” koa said, pulling off his fishing bow. he cupped his mouth and let out a series of loud, rapid clicks.

kiri’s eyes widened and she stepped back as a skimwing leapt from the water and spread its massive wings. sea water sprayed lightly across the both of them, koa extending out an arm to keep it from splashing in her face.

“sorry about that. she’s too fast for her own good.” koa said with an awkward smile. he ran his hand along the skimwing’slengthy snout and mounted her. “good luck with eli’sae. she’s going to pester you since you fed her. try to bond.”

“do you have anymore of those snacks?” kiri asked.

koa reached down and pulled his pouch off his belt. he tossed it to her and she caught it. “if you have no luck by the time i am back, i will help you.”

“are you saying i won’t be able to do it myself?” kiri asked with a curious raise of her brow.

“i never said that, forest girl, i’m simply offering help if you need it.” koa said. he grinned at her and grabbed ahold of the saddle, lowering down on his skimwing’s back. “we shall ride together when i return if you wish. if you’ve managed to tame her, that is.”

kiri stuck her tongue out at him.

the gesture was so human. too human.

and yet he stuck his tongue out right back at her without missing a beat.

pairing: tsu’tey and human!avatar driver (fem presenting)

content warnings: graphic language, alien vs human differences, unconventional grief, the RDA sucks, fuck u miles quaritch, tension you could cut with a knife, nsfw themes: grinding, biting, scent marking???. enemies to lovers. (also, i don’t like to capitalize sentences on tumbler :3)

word count: o_0 long… <3 ur welcome

pov: 2nd person so you can add yourself in. for writing/plot purposes, your character is named eris ramsey. i’ll use the name sparingly but i can’t take myself seriously writing y/n— so please just work with me here. i promise it’ll be worth it. (i hope)

< previous chapter

———🌌———

SUMMARY: earth was dying and your sister was, too, but cancer killed her faster than humans were killing earth. when she passed, she not only left behind an empty apartment full of memories but a billion dollar avatar without a driver. in a desperate attempt to not waste that money, the program she had spent the last five years preparing to join recruited you— her twin. of course, you agreed. there was nothing left on earth for you. there was nothing left on earth for anyone— that’s why people like your sister were sent off to pandora.

when your sister had spoken of pandora, it seemed like a dream.

the RDA promised it would be like a safari adventure.

truth was that pandora is beautiful. beautiful and unlike anything else across the whole of the universe. it is breathtaking— and that’s because what chases you through the forest hunts with the intent to kill; so you best run like hell even if your lungs are on fire. beasts and monsters of all kinds lurk out of sight waiting for the right moment to kill you dead— but none are as dangerous as him.

the blue shadow with the bow.

chapter five

— i know you —

the chopper was louder than you remembered. it made it hard to sleep even with the protective headphone over your ears. leaving before the sun was up, you were utterly exhausted. if your head was pounding bad enough to make you scowl with your eyes closed, you couldn’t imagine the headache jake had from his link being broken. with your head rested on his shoulder, the two of you tired your best to sleep.

you wished you hadn’t.

she came to you in your dreams.

“hey,” grace’s voice was gravelly over the headset. you felt her nudge your leg. “twin one and twin two, wake up before you miss it.”

you let out a soft whine as you stretched. beside you, jake yawned. he turned his head away from the glaring morning sun and tucked it down into your shoulder despite the mask. the cool breeze of oxygen was vital— but you really wished you could’ve taken it off to rub the sleep from your eyes. blinking hard, you tried to focus.

“oh, holy shit…”

emerging from the clouds, the hallelujah mountains came into view. the massive, floating rocks were covered in green. waterfalls fell into sprays of cool mist that wafted into the helicopter that helped wake up jake. he, too, stared dumbfounded outside.

“ain’t it something?” grace asked.

you turned your head to look at her and all you could do was nod. your eyes welled with tears you didn’t let fall. it was gorgeous. too gorgeous. earth — even as pretty as it was in its prime — could’ve never ever compared to the majesty and the glory that was pandora.

“aaaand that’s another job well done, folks. thanks for traveling air pandora. tips are appreciated.” trudy said in a perfect public service voice as she began to shut down the chopper.

“best damn pilot this side of the universe.” jake said.

trudy smirked. “you know it, baby.”

blue base: hidden was where you would be spending the next handful of months with grace, norm, trudy, and jake. setting up the field lab was no easy task. there was much to do. air filters had to be cleaned. link-pods and tech needed to be recalibrated to deal with the flux vortex. a new radio channel had to be set up in all the walkie-talkies. food needed to be stored away. bunks needed to be prepared.

you had so much to do— too much to do.

and yet you couldn’t stop thinking about tsu’tey.

“hey, where are you going?” grace asked as you rose from the table. you had all eaten dinner as a group once all the work had finally gotten done.

“i have to link.” you said as you tossed away your trash and took a last sip of water.

“it’s late. you should wait until tomorrow.” grace said with a small shake of her head.

“i can’t. i’m sorry.” you frowned at her and whispered, “it’s important. he needs to know.”

while the other three at the table exchanged confused glances, grace only sighed. she got up without another protest and fired up the link-pod. you climbed inside and laid back.

fuck was it going to be hard not to fall asleep.

as soon as your head hit the spongy blue foam, you could’ve fallen asleep right then and there. as soon as the hatch shut and your eyes closed, your vision tunneled into white.

the warm night air and smell of pandoran dinner were a comfort you didn’t know you needed. you laid by yourself for a moment. you were tired. incredibly so. it had been nearly two days since you’d been in your avatar at this point. traveling to the hallelujah mountains and setting up blue base: hidden had taken more time than you thought it would.

the center of home tree was alive with music and dancing. a massive bonfire in the middle of the gathering burned like a second sun. shadows danced across the walls as voices echoed in song. you couldn’t help but smile. you couldn’t help, either, as you scanned face to face looking for him.

“dream-walker, you’re awake.” the tsahik said.

your turned. sitting with her daughter, mo’at ran her fingers over a beaded chord. neytiri did not look at you as you crouched down to be level. instead, she focused on her own beaded chord.

“what’s all this?” you asked with a glance around at the festivities.

“a celebration of life.”

neytiri’s voice was like snow. cold and beautiful. it almost hurt your ears how pretty it was— and you realized it was the first time you’d ever heard her speak.

she met your eyes and said, “there has been a death since you were last here. we mourned and now we celebrate.”

your heart sank.

for a split moment— a moment you never wanted to live again, you thought it was him.

where was tsu’tey?

“an elder passed in her sleep.” the tsahik said. she watched your expression. she seemed to know exactly what you feared. “she lived a long, full life. now she will live forever in eywa.”

“i’m sorry for your loss…” you whispered, saying the only thing you could offer.

“there is no loss,” neytiri said without looking at you. instead, she was focused on something behind you. “you cannot lose what was not really yours.”

“eris.”

you looked up at the sound of your name rolling off his tongue. you shot up, your pupils blown wide. tsu’tey took ahold of your arm and squeezed you. his ears perked and the look in his eyes was one that you’d never thought you’d see.

relief.

“come.” tsu’tey said.

without another word, he whisked you away. he was always doing that. grabbing and pulling you. you wondered as you hurried to keep up with him, when that had become your favorite part of your day.

to your surprise, you left home tree.

where better to talk privately than where no one was at this hour?

“you were gone a long time.” tsu’tey said as he walked beside you through the sunset painted forest. soon, it would be dark and the forest would glow all on its own.

“i know…i’m sorry.” you said softly. you glanced up at him and heat rushed to your face. he was looking at you. “things— uh…things got real crazy real fast. i’m happy to report that jake is not a spy for the RDA.”

“you are sure of this?” tsu’tey asked, his brows drawing together.

“yes.” you said. you cracked a small smile and laughed. “grace is intent on making sure those who would wish to plant spies here never get the chance. she pulled my whole team out of the RDA facility. we are— well…maybe i shouldn’t tell you where we are.”

tsu’tey’s eyes widened and he asked, “are you not at your colony?”

“no. not anymore. we’ve gone wild. we are far from hell’s gate. far from here, too. at least, i think? i’m not really sure where those floating mountains are.”

you slapped your hand over your mouth.

tsu’tey smiled down at you and chuckled. “what? afraid i’ll come and kill you?”

“maybe…” you whispered, letting your hands drop.

“you have proven yourself to be useful, eris, so there is little to gain by killing you.” tsu’tey said. his arm brushed against yours and he met your eyes. “better yet, you’ve proven yourself to be trustworthy.”

your throat tightened and your chest caved but your forced yourself to smile.

silence settled over the two of you as you walked and you were thankful for it. your voice would’ve cracked and you would’ve cried if you had to say anything more. walking with him now, you realized how scared you had been the last 37 hours.

with him, you felt safe.

and it made you cry.

you stopped dead in your tracks and covered your face with your hands. big, wet tears rolled down your cheeks. the stress of the move and the exhaustion due to it made for an awful, potent mix of a complete and utter overwhelm.

“eris?” tsu’tey whispered your name too gently.

“i’m just tired,” you said. you wiped your eyes hard and tried to calm your breath. you looked up at him and shook your head. “i’m fine.”

“let us go back. we will get you back to your body so that you can sleep.” tsu’tey said.

“no.” you shook your head as tears dripped from your eyes. “i don’t want to go back yet. please. i want to stay here. i want to stay with y—”

you caught yourself.

not we’ll enough.

tsu’tey ears perked and his pupils rounded. carefully, he flicked his head. without a word, you followed behind him. you had no idea where you were going. you didn’t care. when you came upon a massive tangle of gigantic tree roots, the forest was beginning to glow in the shadows.

“this way,” tsu’tey said as he crouched down.

you raised your hand up to protect your face as you followed him into the dark. a tunnel. the smell of pandoran soil was strong. lights began to twinkle the deeper into the dark tunnel you walked until blue and purple were the only colors you could see.

underground was a small burrow-like cave. the grass shined as you walked. the tree roots were speckled with colorful dots. the gems in the walls of the burrow twinkled and reflected the light. in the center, an unlit firepit. woven mats lined the floor. baskets were placed against the walls.

“what is this place?” you asked softly.

“it is where hunters come to rest if they tire greatly before reaching home tree. there are many places like this in the forest.” tsu’tey said.

you watched as he lit a fire. slowly, you sat down on one of the mats. it took skill to make a fire that fast. you wondered if you’d master something like that one day. would he teach you?

“where is jake’s avatar?” you asked. the thought came to your mind like fire catching onto dry grass. you watched the flames swirl as he added kindle.

“the tsahik’s hut.” tsu’tey said without looking at you.

you looked at him though.

you watched the way his muscles rippled as he moved. you watched the way he shifted his weight as he reached around. when he finally sat down beside you, you stared at his face. his frustratingly handsome face.

was it wrong that you found him handsome?

he was a ten-foot-tall blue alien and all you wanted to do was let your head drop into his lap and fall asleep.

“why do you look at me like that?” tsu’tey asked. his voice was low. low and curious. he turned his head and met your eyes.

you pursed your lips. “like what?”

“like…” tsu’tey hesitated. perhaps he didn’t have the words in english. he cracked an awkward smile. “like you want to…eat me.”

your eyes widened and you couldn’t help but laugh. as heat filled your face, you looked away. “i don’t look at you like that…”

“not— not like you want to chew me and swallow.” tsu’tey was quick to say, worried he confused you. he tried to catch a glimpse of your face as he sat forward. “but like you want to…i don’t know. forget it. i can’t express it well.”

“it’s because i think you’re hot.”

when he didn’t say anything, you forced yourself to look at him. his ears were perked. he was waiting for you to explain. to say more. you found it hard to.

“hot…” tsu’tey repeated. “like i burn you?”

“kinda.” you said with a small laugh. you played with one of the braids in your hair as you stared at the fire. “it just means i…i think you’re attractive. you’re good looking. i think you’re hot.”

“is that why you try to put your mouth on mine?” tsu’tey asked.

you wanted to curl into a ball and die.

“yeah…” you said softly, nodding your head. you exhaled the air in your lungs awkwardly.

“i feel like that about you.”

you nearly broke your neck looking up at him so fast. your eyes widened and your lips parted in a soft expression of shock. you don’t know why it surprised you so much. he had literally tried to fuck you in the hot springs.

still, it was different hearing it so outright.

“you…think i’m hot?” you asked under your breath.

tsu’tey nodded once. “yes.”

“and you want to…kiss me?”

“all the time.”

you could’ve fainted.

your heart was racing and so much blood was rushing to your face that you felt light headed— but you had to keep your wits about you.

you laid back on your elbows and nodded, trying to seem as nonchalant as you could. “epic.”

“epic?” tsu’tey asked as he, too, laid back on his elbows. he looked at you. “what is epic?”

“forget it.” you said with a small shake of your head.

so embarrassing…

silence fell over the both of you. the burrow was full only with the sounds of crackling sticks. soft, even breaths. a small hum of some tune he whispered under his breath. you looked up at him but he kept his eyes on the fire.

it became warm in the safe haven below the ground. perfectly warm. it made your eyes heavy. his humming did, too. slowly, you slipped down to lay on your side. when you did, he did the same. on the mat beside you, he rested his head on his palm and watched you as he hummed.

“i don’t want to fall asleep…” you murmured, rubbing your eyes. you smiled faintly. “you’re making me sleepy.”

“what is it you want then?” tsu’tey asked in a low voice.

you shook your head.

he sighed the smallest bit. “just say it and i will do it.”

you hesitated for a moment.

tsu’tey tensed as you wiggled closer and curled up against his chest. he looked down at you. with your eyes closed, you tried to play it cool— but your heart was pounding in your chest.

the tension in you died away as he brushed his fingers down your arm. you relaxed as he laid down with you. his arm slid underneath your head. a perfect pillow. his legs tangled with yours. his lips rested against the top of your head.

he placed the faintest kiss on your hairline.

you were no longer tired.

all you could hear was the pound of your heart. it was like thunder. you breathed as deeply and as evenly as you could to keep yourself from squirming. you hoped he couldn’t feel the way your heart raced.

he could.

“mawey,” tsu’tey murmured, reaching between you to place his hand on your chest.

it only made you less calm.

slowly, you lifted your head to be eye-to-eye with him. with his hand still on your chest, he could feel the beat your heart had skipped. his pupils widened as you stared into his eyes. his tail was swaying, audibly swishing against the mat.

“what?” you asked softly.

“you smell good,” tsu’tey whispered, a small smile curling on his lip.

you bit the inside of your cheek. you knew what he was getting at. pheromones. you inhaled through your nose. the smell of the fire was all that you could really pick out. that and a sweet, faint aroma you figured was the grass.

you shook your head. “i only smell the fire.”

tsu’tey let out a low sigh but smiled anyways. “you are frustrating…do you know that?”

“i don’t mean to be.” you said softly.

“i know,” he dragged his fingers up your arm and pressed his palm against your face. “which is even more frustrating...”

tsu’tey kissed you.

and it took everything in you not to moan.

worse, it was harder not to devour him completely.

he kissed you slowly and softly, as if he were testing out the waters. maybe he expected you to feel different on his lips than real na’vi women did. or perhaps kissing was entirely different on pandora than it was on earth.

you let him lead.

you liked it best when he told you what to do.

your fingers laced through his braids as you kissed him back. his lips were like velvet. his mouth was hot. you wanted to taste him but you didn’t know if you could. you were too afraid to ruin this by doing something too human.

but you couldn’t help it.

you parted your lips in the hopes that he would give you more.

his tongue was wet and coarse as it dipped into your mouth. you sighed against his lips and wrapped your arms around his neck. guiding you to the ground, he leaned the top half of himself over you as your tongues slow danced together.

he tasted so fucking good.

he smelled so fucking good.

his pheromones hit you like an anvil to the head like in those old cartoons. salvia filled your mouth and a tingle began to vibrate in your belly. between your legs, your pussy began to weep. your tail curled itself tight around your leg. you felt breathless. you felt hot all over.

you felt so bad for not realizing what you did to him without even knowing it.

tsu’tey pulled his lips away from yours but he did not remove them from you. he glided them along your jaw. he nipped at your throat as you tilted your head back. you were squirming below him, panting and huffing as he kissed the sweetest spots you had. soon enough, you were grinding against each other.

a sharp yelp escaped you as he bit into the crook of your neck. fangs threatened to puncture through your skin— but they didn’t. he didn’t. he just wanted to bite. and bite you he did. over and over again, across your throat and shoulders, tsu’tey bit you hard enough to draw gasps from your lips but not enough to bruise.

your eyes shot open as he rolled you onto your side. the fire warmed your face but that was nothing compared to the flush that burned in your cheeks as he pressed himself against your backside. he pushed his hips forward into your ass. you could feel his erection. it throbbed against you from below his loincloth

“i will not mate with you face to face,” tsu’tey murmured against your ear. he dragged his lips along the pointed cartilage. “but we may do it like this and i will hold you just as close.”

“why can’t we face each other?” you asked softly, squirming back to be closer to him.

you tried to look over your shoulder and meet his eyes but he tucked his face down into the nape of your neck and bit down. you winced softly and closed your eyes, grinding back against him subconsciously.

“because if we look at each other, we grow attached.” tsu’tey said, his breath hot against your neck. it made you shiver. “na’vi can only mate for life by forming tsaheylu but there is still a deep connection that comes with staring into the eyes of someone you mount.”

“i may not be a virgin, eris, but i have never faced anyone while i coupled with them.” tsu’tey said as he reached down between you both and pushed your leg up to your belly. he was making room for himself. “that honor shall belong only to my mate.”

your heart sank at once. “to neytiri…”

“to whomever i chose.” tsu’tey said gruffly.

he didn’t have much of a choice.

you both knew that.

“this is wrong.” you said softly. you turned onto your tummy and looked at him. well, you tried your best to. it was hard to look him in the eye.

“what is?” tsu’tey asked with a small shake of his head.

“if you’re…if you’re supposed to mate with neytiri for life, what are we doing? it doesn’t feel right. it feels like you’re cheating on her.” you said through the tightness in your throat.

tsu’tey frowned and leaned into you. he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. “na’vi cannot cheat. until na’vi form tsaheylu, they are not bonded to anyone or anything besides their ikran. once na’vi mate, there cannot be another.”

“we are doing nothing wrong.” tsu’tey murmured against your ear. he nipped at it softly. “but if you do not wish to, i will not make you.”

“i do wish to but it doesn’t seem right. i’m not…i don’t even know what i’m doing here. i’m not like you. not up here.” you pointed to your head. “and not here either.” you placed your hand on your chest.

tsu’tey pushed himself up onto his knees as you sat up. you were almost entirely turned away from him. slowly, he came up behind you. he ran his hands down your arms and peeked his head over your shoulder. you tried your best to ignore him.

“no matter what you are, eywa has chosen you for something.” tsu’tey whispered into your ear. he wrapped his arm around you and placed his palm against your thumping heart. “no matter what you are, this heart is strong.”

“no matter what you are, i see you.”

you turned your head and met his striking yellow gaze. your lips were ajar in soft shock. your ears pinned and perked. your tail curled itself into knots as butterflies ate at your insides.

he saw you.

he could see you.

at least, he thought he could.

he had no idea who the real you was.

you frowned at him as you studied the details of his face. “i wish that were true.”

his brows drew together and he tilted his head.

“you don’t even know me.” you said under your breath. you looked away and closed your eyes tight. “you said it yourself, my kind are a disease on this land. we don’t belong here. i…i shouldn’t be doing this with you.”

“i speak in anger. it is my curse. for that i am sorry.” tsu’tey said in a low, gentle voice. he slid his hands around your hips and down your thighs, keeping you close. “i will stop being cruel.”

“it’s not like i make it very easy for you to be nice sometimes,” you whispered as you watched his fingers trace the stripes on your thighs.

“we both need to improve.” tsu’tey said as he brushed his nose along your ear. “it is something we shall work on.”

he was being too affectionate. it was wearing your resolve thin— but was he being affection because he liked you or just to get laid?

your chest started to hurt all over again.

“we can’t,” you whispered.

tsu’tey sighed and hugged you closer. “we can.”

“no we can’t.” you turned. facing him was harder. you wished you stayed looking the other way. “there is no we. you are promised to another and in human culture, i’d be considered a homewrecker.”

“eris,” he breathed your name as if it pained him. “i don’t want neytiri. and nor does she want me.”

“i thought you said it was duty.” you said with a small shake of your head.

he scowled at you and squished your cheeks between his fingers. “you never stop talking…”

“wllwhatdyowan.” you tried to say through your squished lips. tsu’tey rolled his eyes and removed his hand from your face. rubbing your cheek, you asked again.

“what do you want?”

“what i want is for you to turn over and let me inside you, woman. i want that very much. to hold and bite and kiss you.” tsu’tey said almost impatiently.

you annoyed him so greatly.

and yet he wanted you anyways.

“will you at least let me earn it first?” you asked. your voice was hardly loud enough. your face was hot and your tail was swaying wildly behind you.

he tipped his head. “what?”

you sighed and looked down into your lap. you picked at the skin around your nails and rolled your eyes as embarrassment weighed on your chest. so stupid. this was so stupid. you were so, so stupid…

“i want that, too, but i can’t even shoot an arrow. i feel…unworthy.” you cringed as you said the word. you should’ve just shut up and let him fuck you.

“eris,” he tried to interject but you wouldn’t let him.

“once i learn how to be more like you and less like…like me…then…okay.” you looked up at him and bit your lip. you couldn’t read his expression. “we can…we can do whatever this is.” you gestured between you both to whatever tension was tangled around you.

tsu’tey only stared at you. you felt like a slide under a microscope. he took in every detail of you. every facet. every stripe and dot. every fine hair on your almost na’vi face.

he only nodded once. “it is decided then.”

— 🌌 —

strength was something you never thought you could have.

on earth, the pollution had made you feel sick. it kept you indoors. it made your mind hazy. on pandora, there was no mist in your mind. there was no laying around— not on the path the you had chosen to walk.

you wanted to be a warrior.

you would become one.

rain or shine, you were out in the forest with tsu’tey learning how to be strong. strong in your body, in your head, and in your heart. every day you would run. along the forest floor, over the towering tree roots, in the muddy riverbed. you ran and ran and ran and built up your stamina. every day you would climb. you climbed trees, rocks, and vines. you learned how to pull yourself, push yourself, and most importantly— catch yourself.

archery was the hardest for you.

the first time you shot an arrow, it ricocheted off a rock and nearly flew back at you. tsu’tey hadn’t even known that level of bad luck was possible. you hadn’t done much wrong, either. it was not your posture. it was not your technique.

it was simply poor luck.

“here…” he said under his breath, eyes still wide. he came up behind you and adjusted your elbow. the adjustment would change nothing. it was too small— but he didn’t want you to feel terrible. “try like that instead.”

“sure…” you muttered, keeping your elbow straight.

archery was far harder than riding a direhorse. while you sustained more injuries riding mitsia, at least there was pay off. there was visible progress. the art archery took you hours to get comfortable with.

and then it took you days to master.

“can you see?” tsu’tey asked as he grabbed your face. he looked into your eyes. “you can see, yes?”

“yeah, i can fuckin’ see.” you huffed as you turned your face away. you ignored him as you tried again. it was pouring. the rain was cold and the wind was harsh. “it’s the wind. the wind is fucking me up.”

“it was not windy yesterday when you did not hit anything.” tsu’tey said.

you hissed at him and he was quick to look away.

days were spent in the archery clearing. while jake was learning how to ride a direhorse with neytiri — who got stuck with training a demon of her own under orders from her father — you were stuck every day in that clearing with tsu’tey. he resorted to drawing in the dirt to pass the time as you missed target after target.

there was only so much bad luck someone could have, right? surely, you were just getting it all out now. one big awful week of it.

tsu’tey paced behind you as you drew your arm back. all day you had spent out in the glaring sun. not one time did you hit the target. instead, you hit everything around it.

seriously, you had to have been mentally deficient.

“breathe.” tsu’tey said.

you took a breath and held it. you focused. you closed one eye and honed in one the wooden board with a big yellow dot on it. you exhaled slowly. in the stillness between breaths, you shot the arrow.

patuk!

dead in the center of the yellow dot, your arrow pierced the board. the yellow and green calling card waved as the arrow rattled.

“ah!” you gasped, your eyes wide. “oh, my god!”

“yes!” tsu’tey exclaimed.

you turned to him and threw your arms up. you nearly screeched with joy as he hooked his arms around your waist and lifted you up. you hugged him tight as he yipped with excitement. he placed you back on the ground and cupped your face.

“you did it!” he said with a wide smile.

“i did it!” you giggled.

“do it again.” he encouraged, nudging your waist.

your smile dropped. “uh…”

“come on,” tsu’tey turned you around and urged you to raise the bow. “you can do it. breathe and shoot.”

you pulled an arrow out from behind your back and loaded the bow. you breathed deep and focused on the target. you let the arrow fly free and it narrowly missed.

you frowned.

“no, no. don’t get discouraged. again. come on.” tsu’tey said, giving your back a soft pat. “you can do it.”

you ignored how hot your face felt. you cleared your throat and shook out the nervous tension in your body. once more, you loaded an arrow into your bow. you kept your core tight. you kept your arm straight. you took a breath— and you let it fly.

patuk!

the arrow landed just a little ways above the first.

you turned your head to meet his eyes and you couldn’t help but smile. he smiled, too, and ran a gentle hand over your hair.

“well done, tsamsiyu.” tsu’tey said.

you dipped your head.

since that day in the hunters burrow, tsu’tey had made an effort to be kinder. in the same regard, so had you. while you still bickered and he still called you a moron every chance he got, there was less turmoil between the two of you.

replacing it was tension.

heavy, painful tension that made every moment harder than it should’ve been. no time was harder than when you would sit across from him and try you best to learn his language. you weren’t hopeless— but you weren’t fluent.

you watched as he gestured to the space around you. you scrunched your nose and clenched as if you were pushing the word forward in your mind.

“fuck, i know this.” you muttered.

“yes. you do. i’ve told you it fifty times.” tsu’tey said, continuing the gesture. he looked above. he looked below. he looked around.

“fra’u!” you gasped, pointing a finger at him. “fra’u! everything!”

tsu’tey grinned and nodded. he was quick to move onto the next word. he pursed his lips and whistled.

“fwefwi,” you said with a small laugh. “whistle.”

tsu’tey whistled again and swayed his hand from side to side. your brows drew together and your shook your head at him. he repeated the action once more, whistling and he swayed his hand.

“wind?” you asked. when he rolled his eyes at you, you corrected yourself. “hufwe.”

“mn,” he nodded. “and if you were to say that it was a light wind?”

“hufwetsyìp.” you said.

“good.” he smiled. he beckoned your forward and you scooted closer to him. he dragged his finger across your lower lid. “what are these?”

“nari.” you answered. “eyes.”

he smacked you with his tail. “this?”

you smacked him with yours. “kxetse. tail.”

he brushed his thumb across your lips. “and these?”

your mind went blank. staring at him, all you could do was blink. slowly, your lips curled into a smile as his did, too. he seemed to enjoy your sudden speechlessness.

“i— i don’t remember.” you said with a soft, bashful laugh.

he titled his head and cocked an eyebrow. “you don’t remember?”

you giggled and shook your head. “no, i don’t.”

“c’mon,” tsu’tey purred. “you know. you must know.”

your ears perked. hearing human slang come out of him was still so awe-striking. while his antics and habits rubbed off on you, yours rubbed off on him, too. you spent so much time together. little things like that were a reminder of just how much time you spent together.

“i don’t remember. seriously, i don’t. i think i have to touch your lips to remember.” you said with a small, devious little smile.

“oh…” tsu’tey’s eyes widened and his pupils dilated. he leaned forward and tried to suppress his smirk. “go on then, skxawng.”

slowly, you traced the shape of his lips. your breath caught in your throat as you remembered how it felt to kiss him. meeting his eyes, you could almost see his thoughts.

he was thinking the same thing.

“lips.” you said. you shook your head. “i don’t remember.”

“meseyri,” tsu’tey said softly. his breath was warm against your fingers. “awstengyem meseyri. two lips.”

“meseyri.” you repeated, gliding your fingers across the soft pinkish-purple skin of his lips.

tsu’tey pressed a soft kiss to the tips of your fingers.

you dropped your hand and pushed yourself forward, not being able to bare it another second. denying the pull between you the last few weeks had been torture. he grabbed your throat eagerly and tugged you into a kiss. a husky huff escaped him as you slipped your tongue into his mouth. he tugged at your waist, hoarding you closer.

your lips only got to meet for a moment before you heard the thundering of hooves.

tsu’tey pulled back and looked over the side of the towering root you were sat on. with the sun beginning to set, warriors and hunters began to return home. among them, jake and neytiri.

“come,” tsu’tey said. he had begun speak small words and phrases in na’vi to help familiarize you with the language. “it is time to eat.”

reluctantly, you got up.

“hey!” jake waved as you entered the dining circle. he was sat by himself waiting for you. unlike tsu’tey who would sit with you at dinners, neytiri had never once sat with jake.

although, tsu’tey had stopped sitting with you now that jake was around.

he gave your arm a soft squeeze before parting ways with you. sitting down in front of jake, you smiled. there was always relief in seeing him. especially since he looked pretty beat up, too, after a day of trying to ride a direhorse. it made you feel better to know that even a marine got bucked off.

“rough day?” you asked with a teasing smile.

“nah. not too bad.” jake said as he picked up a skewer of roasted meat. he took a bite and was quick to chew. “your day?”

“lots of na’vi practice. my heads all jumbled with it.” you said as you picked up a fig-like fruit and took a bite of it. it tasted so sweet that it made your tail curl in delight. no fruit had ever been that sweet and delicious on earth.

when sat together, earth was something you and jake talked about often. comparing foods, flora, animals, and customs, you and jake could talk for hours about how different pandora was. how wonderful it was. how scary it was.

“you know; in the end, i think coming in blind to all this may have been a good thing.” jake said as he chewed on the skewer like a toothpick. “i think if i had known half the stuff i know about this place, i would’ve stayed home.”

“really?” you asked, your brows raising. “i figured this was just your kinda place, marine.”

“well, it is now that i’m here. especially now that im here in this place.” jake glanced around at the clan and smiled. “but if i had been told there were actual fucking monsters and plants that could shock you and spray poison…i definitely would’ve passed on it.”

“maybe i would’ve, too, honestly. i got to study up on the language and the forest. conveniently, the RDA left out the palulukan and the nantang from my guide.” you sighed just a bit and you looked around, your eyes falling on someone sitting just close enough for you to see every detail of. “i think it more so boils down for me to missing things on earth rather than not wanting to be here.”

“what do you miss most?” jake asked.

“tv.” you sighed. the corner of your lip pulled into a smile. “not so much the movies. grace has movies if we really wanted to watch them. i’m talking about television. shitty reality shows. documentaries of what earth used to be like when it was green. cooking shows. stuff like that.”

“i think i miss the sounds of the city the most. i miss the noise. here, it’s too quite. in hell’s gate, it’s too mechanical. up in the mountains, it’s all wind and nothing else.” jake said as he leaned back on his arms. he shrugged a bit. “i miss the sound of people. humans like us. cars beeping. distant laughter. high heels on concrete. tires on a rainy street. hell, even hearing people swear at each other.”

“i haven’t thought about things like that being here.” you said. you glanced around. the chatter of the clan was filling to the ears— but not in the way the bustle and hustle of earth was. in some way, you did miss it. especially the tires on a rainy street. that had soothed you to sleep your whole life.

“that’s a good one.” you said as you met jake’s eyes. you nodded. “i definitely miss things like that.”

“sometimes, i even miss the stink.” jake laughed lowly. he shook his head and tilted it back, smiling to himself. “it’s stupid but i brace myself for the smell of smog and gas every time i go outside here. i feel stupid, of course, but i almost miss the way the air would wreak.”

you laughed, too, and felt silly for understanding exactly what he meant. it was awful. it was disgusting. but it was home.

it had been home.

this was home now.

firelight and bioluminescence. blue skin and yellow eyes. fangs. monsters in the forest. floating mountains.

you’d always miss earth — some part of you would — but this was home.

jake was still new to the forests and the clan and home tree like you had once been. to him, it was foreign. to you, it was only more and more familiar as the days passed. you were beginning to make friends with the other hunters who had yet to pass iknimaya. saeyla was the kindest to you. she always said hi when she saw you. mo’at was always happy to see you. eytukan dipped his head and was polite enough.

and then there was tsu’tey.

sometimes, it felt like he was the only thing that made the world go round.

“did you eat enough?” tsu’tey asked as he walked you to your hammock.

“oh, yeah. i’m stuffed.” you said with a smile, patting your belly. you turned to say goodnight but the expression on his face stopped you. “what?”

“i overheard you and jake’suli,” tsu’tey said with a bit of reluctance. he wouldn’t meet your gaze. “you miss earth?”

your brows drew together and you felt hot with guilt.

oh, jesus…did he think you wanted to leave?

you could’ve up-chucked your whole dinner.

“sometimes i do but…but i don’t want to go back.” you said as quickly as you could but the words nearly alluded you.

“but you miss the sounds of your people.” tsu’tey looked into your eyes and his ears dropped. “and that is different from my people, yes? a city is not like this.”

“no…no a city isn’t like this. it’s loud. really loud. always loud.” you said with a small sigh. your shoulders dropped and you couldn’t help but look around. “it’s always glowing. not like the forest glows but bright lights. so many lights. in order to sleep, i would have to close my blinds and sometimes even cover my face with my hoodie.”

“i prefer this.” you said as you placed your hand on his chest. he met your eyes and seemed to soften under your gaze. “this is peace. earth so rarely knew peace. even though you hunt and craft by hand here, it was so much harder to survive on earth.”

“you are happy, yes?” tsu’tey asked.

the question surprised you.

is that what he was worried about? your happiness?

“yes,” you whispered. your ears dropped but your tail swayed back and forth. the question touched you. deeply and wholly. “yes, of course. of course, i’m happy. truly.”

“that is good. i was afraid that…that i made you feel like you did not belong.” tsu’tey said with shame lacing his voice.

you were speechless. all you could do was shake your head. he didn’t make you feel that way…

“you are different and that is true…but you do belong here.” tsu’tey placed his hand on your chest. “strong heart. and it belongs right here.”

you laid awake that night in your bunk.

staring at the stars through the glass in the ceiling, your chest felt warm and fuzzy. in the dark, you smiled to yourself. his words had touched you. sometimes, it was hard to understand where you stood with tsu’tey. one day he couldn’t stand you, the next he was all over you and drowning you in affection. he was strict and then he was easy going. he was mean and then he was kind.

sometimes, it gave you whiplash.

other times, it made you want to smack him and then kiss him before he could feel the pain.

tomorrow you may very well fall asleep wanting to smack him upside the head but tonight you wanted nothing more than a single kiss from him.

— 🌌 —

“eris,” norm said, shaking you awake. “eris, get up.”

“huh?” you picked your head up and tried to open your eyes. “what’s wrong?”

“eris, he’s outside.”

your heart dropped.

miles quaritch was outside.

you scrambled out of your bunk and hurried to throw on a decent pair of clothes. you slipped into jeans and pulled on an RDA issued shirt. you fixed your hair as best you could and stepped into your boots. as you hurried through the small tactical base, you nearly tripped over your own feet.

fuck.

were your video logs about archery training insufficient? of course, they were but you had no idea what you were doing. you had no idea how to gather the kind of intel that the head of security wanted.

you almost forgot to grab an oxygen mask before going into the airlock. thank god for trudy.

pushing open the heavy metal door, the morning breeze was cold so high up in the atmosphere. your breath was ragged and nearly fogged your mask. the helicopter outside was…trudy’s.

and grace was not standing with the colonel.

she was standing with him.

tsu’tey was unbelievably gigantic.

your heart could’ve stopped. your knees nearly gave out as his ikran screeched at you. he raised a gentle hand and stroked the creatures long face. yellow eyes flicked towards you— and his pupils blew wide.

“i’ll leave you two to talk.” grace said as she passed by you.

‘no!’ you wanted to beg, ‘don’t leave me alone with him!’

the door sealed shut and so had your fate.

slowly, you turned and his shadow swallowed you whole. with a yip, he sent his ikran away. the blue, white, and yellow patterned creature dove off the cliff and soared through the skies. tsu’tey tilted his head at you, his tail flicking behind him as you approached.

“what— what the hell are you doing here?” you asked, your voice tight in your throat. “how…how the hell did you…how did you find us?”

“there is only one rock amongst the many that float with these on it.” tsu’tey said, flicking his head towards the field lab behind you.

“you are small.” tsu’tey said as he crouched down. he smirked as you recoiled. “are you scared of me?”

“no,” you lied. you steeled your spine, trying to seem taller than you actually were. “you’re just…big.”

big was an understatement. he was over ten feet tall and you were lucky to be the height you were.

tsu’tey’s tail swayed through the grass. if it hit you, it probably would’ve bruised you. it may have been able to break a rib. he seemed mindful of that fact as you stared at it.

“what are you doing here?” you asked as you looked back up into his eyes. even when he was crouched you had to tilt your head back.

“i have come to learn about you.” tsu’tey said. he crawled forward to be closer and sat down in front of you. finally, you were somewhat level. “you spend all day and all night with me…it is only fair i come to you.”

“i…” you didn’t even know what to say. your head was spinning. it was hard to breathe even with oxygen being pumped right into your face. “there isn’t much to do here…you won’t fit inside the field lab easily. you wouldn’t be able to breathe well, either. it’s all oxygen in there. besides, it’s crowded.”

“can we not sit here?” tsu’tey asked with a small tilt of his head.

“we can…but it’s just— it’s cold.” you whispered, drawing your arms in close around you. you should’ve grabbed a sweater or a hoodie.

“come,” tsu’tey motioned for you to sit in his lap. “you will be warm here.”

“oh— oh, my god, no.” you said. you looked away as red filled your cheeks. “the whole crew is no doubt watching us through the window. i can’t just sit…there.”

tsu’tey looked passed you. sure enough, they were all watching. they were quick to scramble but they couldn’t go far. there was little privacy. jake would link soon. so would norm and grace— if grace decided not to study her samples and log her findings. and trudy would just…do whatever trudy did to pass the time.

“can i take you somewhere?” tsu’tey asked with an edge of caution to his voice.

“nope.” you refused. shaking your head and wiggling a finger at him, you said, “absolutely not. my fragile human ass stays put.”

tsu’tey huffed under his breath and pursed his lips. “always so difficult.”

“if you really wanted…we could use the west wing. it’s for bunking and it’s not going to be full at this hour now that everyone is up. i can see if grace can find a way for you to breathe.” you said with a small shrug.

tsu’tey seemed apprehensive to be stuck inside a small metal box but he flicked his head.

you were quick to hurry inside. within a few minutes, grace had made a reversed oxygen mask for tsu’tey. it was janky and if it didn’t work well he’d have to go back outside, but she had filled a larger oxygen canister with pandoran air and found a spare mouth-and-nose mask she connected to it.

tsu’tey clearly regretted his choices as he crawled through the front door. you were quick to guid him straight to the west wing. the ceiling was a bit taller there because of the bunks, so he didn’t have to keep his head hunched over so much.

“hey, watch the tail.” trudy said.

tsu’tey tucked his tail. he was quick to slide himself into the bunk room. you closed the door behind him and rested your forehead against it. you sighed. your heart was racing. slowly, you turned. when you did, you found him staring at the wall decorated with pictures of your life on earth. posters of your favorite animals. cities. pictures of you and your parents. pictures of your sister.

“i’m the one on the left,” you said as you pulled you mask off. carefully, you brushed your hair out of your face.

“i know.” tsu’tey said, gently touching the photo. he looked at you and his pupils dilated. “i know you, eris.”

you let out a soft breath. he reached down and lifted the mask to his face, inhaling slowly. unlike you, he could breathe oxygen for a while. not forever but longer than you could breathe his air.

“i did not think you would look so much like you.” tsu’tey said as you approached. while he sat on the floor, you sat on the bed. jake’s bunk.

you shrugged and shook your head. “ta-da?”

tsu’tey grinned at you even though he did not quite understand what it was that you meant. “ta-da, yes.”

“so…” you smacked your hands on your thighs and exhaled softly. “what do you wanna do?”

“i want to know what tivee is.” tsu’tey said. he looked around the room and tried to pin point what may have been tv. “i heard you tell jake’suli you missed it and i want to see why.”

you shook your head. “i don’t think i should.”

“why not?” tsu’tey asked, his invisible brows drawing together.

“because you may like it too much and start an industrial revolution like the RDA is trying to do.” you said with a soft laugh.

“i do not know what you just said but i want to see tv.” tsu’tey insisted.

you sighed. there was little point in saying no. getting up off of the bed, you walked around him. he turned, being mindful not to knock into anything. he watched as you crouched down to plug in the chord. you pressed the button on the bottom and the screen filled with static.

“it may not even work.” you said over your shoulder.

you flicked through the tapes grace had in box and pulled out the most fitting one. star wars: return of the sith. tsu’tey scooted closer as the movie began. you took a seat beside him and used the remote to turn up the volume. as the opening credits rolled, the music made his ears perk.

“what does it say?” tsu’tey asked, watching the yellow letters roll across the screen. he brought the mask to his mouth and took a deep breath.

you read the preface of the movie to him and did your best to explain what it all meant. you knew it was lost to him but he was fixated anyways— especially when humans appeared on the screen. he was transfixed.

“did you have that?” tsu’tey asked, pointing to the flying car on the screen.

you laughed and shook your head. “at the time this movie came out, flying cars didn’t exist. in my time, i didn’t have enough money.”

he looked down at you.

none of it made sense.

“no,” you said with a small smile. “i didn’t have a flying car.”

he nodded and turned his attention back to the screen. you sat in silence as you watched the movie. every now and again he lifted the mask to his mouth to take a breath. he would ask a question here and there. it amazed him— but he did not understand much of what was said. soon enough, he wasn’t quite seeing the point of a movie.

“why do you watch stuff like this?” he asked.

“for fun.” you said with a small shrug. “humans really value entertainment. star wars is one of the biggest movie series ever. very well loved.”

“do you like this movie?” he asked with a curious tilt of his head.

you gave him your honest answer.

once more, it fell silent between you. you watched the movie with a sense of nostalgia weighing heavy on your heart. this was the first time you’d actually sat and watched anything since you’d arrived on pandora. it was comforting yet so foreign at the same time.

“can i touch your hair?”

you looked up at him, your eyes wide and your cheeks red. you had not expected that question. all you could do was blink.

“sure…” you whispered.

so carefully you weren’t sure if he even touched you, tsu’tey ran his hand over the top of your head. his ears perked and his tail swished against the metal floor.

“soft…” he murmured, purely infatuated. “different than mine. so…thin. like very fine twine strings.”

“well, you are like twelve feet tall.” you said with a small laugh. he could’ve easily crushed you in the palm of his hand if he wanted to. “everything about you is bigger than me.”

“your chest is big.” tsu’tey said, looking down at your breasts.

you couldn’t help but laugh. nodding, you said, “yeah. i told you, human women have bigger chests than na’vi women.”

“can i touch?” he asked, extending a hand towards you.

you were quick to cover your breasts and gawked at him. “no! are you crazy?”

“why not?” tsu’tey asked. he moved closer to you and tilted his head. now more so than ever, he was entirely cat-like. it took looking at him through human eyes to see it. “is it because you are in this body and not your na’vi one?”

“yeah,” you breathed, looking away from him.

he pursed his lips the smallest bit. “can i kiss you?”

“jesus christ, are you in heat or something?” you asked.

“no, not now.” he said. he shrugged and flicked his head towards you. “i am just…curious. i want to kiss you as you and see if it is the same.”

“just a kiss?” you glanced at him.

“just one.” he nodded, sitting on his hands as if to promise you he wouldn’t do anything more than that.

slowly, you pushed yourself up. standing in front of him, you were level enough. your heart raced in your chest as he stared at you. he took in every movement you made. he tensed as you neared and that made you even more nervous.

“this is weird…” you said, pulling back the smallest bit.

“no,” he insisted. he reached out a hand that ghosted along the small curve of your back. “it’s not.”

you swallowed your embarrassment alongside your pride as you leaned forward and pressed a soft, lingering kiss onto his lips.

sparks shot through you from your head to your toes.

when you pulled back, his pupils were so large you could hardly see the yellow of his eyes. his tail smacked into the metal frame of the bunk bed and thumped wildly against the floor. as your cheeks reddened and reddened and reddened his ears perked up and up and up.

“why are you red?” he asked softly.

“i’m flustered…” you whispered.

tsu’tey smiled. “it was good.”

“it was good,” you said with a small, quick nod.

“again?” he asked, leaning forward. “to make sure.”

you couldn’t help but laugh.

he smiled as you reached up and placed your hands on his face. he dipped his head down and kissed you again, softly and sweetly. kisses like these were much different from how he kissed you when you were the same size and same blue shade.

“good,” he purred. his lips curled into a smile as he reached down to pull the mask to his face. he took a few deep breaths. “very good.”

you could only watch him in awe. you sat down in front of him and tried to wipe the blush from your cheeks. of course, it didn’t work. not even a little bit. he hunched over to be more level with you and it made you giggle.

he was just too big.

too large.

too handsome.

he was even more striking to the human eye.

you sat quietly as he picked up your hand and examined your five little fingers. he was intrigued by your pinky. to him, it was an extra pinky. with his four thick fingers, your hand seemed so frail and dainty. he touched the lines of your palm and smiled to himself as you shivered at the sensation.

“it is strange,“ tsu’tey said lowly. “how you are so different and still so the same…i thought it would be hard to recognize you. hard to see you with this face and not that face…but it is not hard.”

you curled your whole hand around his index finger and pulled it close. you placed his hand on your chest. your heart beat below his palm. he met your eyes and his ears perked. it made you smile.

“i see you.” you whispered.

tsu’tey leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours. he smiled to himself, enjoying the way your little heart beat so strong under the tips of his fingers as he neared.

“i see you,” he said like a promise.

this chapter was so much fun to write :P i love soft tsu’tey!!!! hope you guys enjoyed. lmk your thoughts <3 as always, thanks for reading!! — moony

pairing: tsu’tey and human!avatar driver (fem presenting)

content warnings: graphic language, alien vs human differences, the RDA sucks, fuck u miles quaritch, tension you could cut with a knife, enemies to lovers. (also, i don’t like to capitalize sentences on tumbler :3)

word count: …idk :D (roughly edited sry)

pov: 2nd person so you can add yourself in. for writing/plot purposes, your character is named eris ramsey. i’ll use the name sparingly but i can’t take myself seriously writing y/n— so please just work with me here. i promise it’ll be worth it. (i hope)

< previous chapter

———🌌———

SUMMARY: earth was dying and your sister was, too, but cancer killed her faster than humans were killing earth. when she passed, she not only left behind an empty apartment full of memories but a billion dollar avatar without a driver. in a desperate attempt to not waste that money, the program she had spent the last five years preparing to join recruited you— her twin. of course, you agreed. there was nothing left on earth for you. there was nothing left on earth for anyone— that’s why people like your sister were sent off to pandora.

when your sister had spoken of pandora, it seemed like a dream.

the RDA promised it would be like a safari adventure.

truth was that pandora is beautiful. beautiful and unlike anything else across the whole of the universe. it is breathtaking— and that’s because what chases you through the forest hunts with the intent to kill; so you best run like hell even if your lungs are on fire. beasts and monsters of all kinds lurk out of sight waiting for the right moment to kill you dead— but none are as dangerous as him.

the blue shadow with the bow.

chapter four

— weak hands —

“if i want to get us any closer to peace, i’ll need to put in a lot of work.” you said as you logged the events of your day. you could hardly keep your eyes open. for a rest day, you felt more worn down than you did on days you spent entirely in the forest. “if i want to gain back trust the omatikaya once placed in the avatar program, i have to pass two tests.”

“tsu’tey says it will take months for me to even think about passing the first test. in order to complete iknimaya and claim an ikran, i have to be strong. i have to have a fighting spirit. a strong heart, he says. i have to learn the ways of warriors. it is no easy challenge— but an ikran would kill me otherwise.”

“he told me that he doesn’t doubt my heart.” you said softly. you looked at yourself on the screen and covered your cheeks with your hands as you saw color rise into them. “he just doubts that i’ll be able to pin down the damn thing before it kills me.”

“i think that’s all for today. lots to be done. tomorrow i start archery. fun, huh? i hope. really, i do…alright. see ya.” you reached out and clicked the recording off.

you had no energy to eat. you had no energy to do anything at all. when you climbed into your bunk, you fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow. it was hard for you to sleep most nights— but exhaustion made it easy for you now. it reached out its arms and enveloped you in its warm embrace.

you dreamed of the riverbed and the stars. you dreamed of the bugs that floated by. you dreamed of the way the water sounded sloshing against the shore of the riverside.

you dreamed of him, too.

you dreamed of running with him through the grass. the way he chased you. you could almost feel your chest burn as you ran and ran and ran. even in your dreams, he caught you. he tangled you in his arms and lifted you off your feet.

you didn’t hesitate to kiss him.

you had wanted to kiss him today. it was an insufferable itch that you wanted to gnaw at with your teeth— but you couldn’t.

when you woke in the morning to the usual alarm set for all those in the avatar program, you could not have been more frustrated. you buried your face into the pillow and groaned into it.

you didn’t want to dream about him.

you didn’t want to think about him the way you always did. he was supposed to be your mentor. a teacher. a guide. not someone you dreamed about kissing.

you didn’t want to face him.

after the hot springs, you two returned to home tree as if nothing happened. he got you food and you sat with others in the clan and listened to their stories. you listened to their songs. tsu’tey told stories of his own. he did not sing alongside the others but the faint smile on his lips showed his contentment.

and that was it.

all day, you rested in the livelihood of home tree with him. eating. talking. laughing. introducing yourself to those who dared to approach you. those who let you join their circles. you helped string beads and craft twine. mundane, small things that you enjoyed more than you thought you would. while most of the conversations were held in navi, you were able to pick out bits and pieces.

it wasn’t until after dinner when you made your nightly walk with him to your hammock that what had happened between the two of you weighed on you. he didn’t say goodnight. he didn’t spare you a glance. he hit you with his shoulder as he passed and hissed under his breath.

you did not want to see him— but he was the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes in your hammock.

“get up. now.” tsu’tey said. his tone was sharp. lethal. there was no patience to be found in him.

you did your best to get up quickly. your head spun with the daze of shifting. he grabbed your arm to steady you— but he dragged you down the center column of home tree without any warning.

“agh— dude.” you muttered as you tried to pull your arm free. “stop it.”

“walk.” he said, pushing you in front of him.

you didn’t fight against him. it would do you no good. once you were out of home tree, you shrugged him off. thankfully, he went willingly. without a word, he flicked his head towards the direhorses waiting.

you approached mitsia with gentle hands. she pressed her snout against your face as you said hello. reaching up, you formed tsaheylu with her and swung yourself up onto her back. with a soft pat to her neck, you urged her to follow behind tsu’tey.

he moved with purpose today and mitsia ran fast to keep up with him.

you rode into the thick of the forest. you had to duck low onto mitsia’s back as to not get snagged in the low hanging vines. all sorts of sounds resonated in your ears. the rush of wind. the chirping of pandoran birds. squeaking and squawking. thundering hooves. snapping sticks.

when tsu’tey finally came to a stop, it was by a pond. he hopped off his direhorses back and clicked his tongue as a thank you. when you slid off mitsia’s back, you thanked her with a soft kiss to her face.

you felt bitter as you met his eyes.

what he had told you yesterday lingered in your mind. mitsia was yours. maybe not like how an ikran could be, sure, but you were certain that she would come only to you if you called.

“good girl.” you whispered as you patted her neck.

“come here.” tsu’tey said, his tail flicking behind him like a feral cat.

you parted with your direhorse and sighed as you stood in front of him. you expected him to start with a lesson on archery. he carried two bows on his back. instead, he grabbed your hands and scoffed at them.

“you have weak hands. small fingers. they will bleed.”

you ripped your hands out of his grasp. “you don’t know shit. they won’t bleed.”

“they will.” he said, snatching your arm. he tapped his fingers against your bicep. “no muscle. children have more strength than you. i bet you would not be able to pull yourself up whilst climbing a tree.”

“would you cut the shit?” you pulled your arm out of his grasp and scowled at him. “you’re pissing me off.”

“you will fail today at archery. many times. just as you failed at riding pali. you are weak. you will have troubling drawing back the arrow. i doubt you can aim.” tsu’tey said.

“but you will learn.”

your mouth closed. the anger in your expression lessened as you watched him pull one of the bows off from around his shoulder. it was simple. dark wood. strong string. it was heavy— but not as heavy as his. not as well-crafted and expertly designed. not at pretty.

“first rule of bow,” tsu’tey said as he stood up straight. “you must be like tree. tall. strong. always strong in your belly. for everything. be strong in your belly.”

you mimicked him. standing up straight and tensing your core, you held yourself in the same tall posture. you matched his breath. over and over again, you told yourself what to do like a mantra: keep tense but don’t suffocate. don’t suffocate. breathe. in and out. in and out.

tsu’tey lifted the bow and assumed a shooting stance. no arrow was drawn, but he pulled back the string. you could see the tension in his belly. you could see the firm stance he held in his shoulders. more importantly, his legs. like two pillars on the ground, he appeared unmovable.

he appeared strong.

and you knew he was.

“when you draw back the bow, you must use two fingers. always two fingers. it is how you keep the arrow aligned. draw back is hard when you start. bows are strong and they fight against you. that is why arrows shoot so far.” tsu’tey said as he lowered his bow.

“you try.”

you took a sharp breath and tightened your core. you did your best to mimic the stance he held. before you could even drawn by the bow, he was all over you. he spread your legs further apart with his own. he smacked you on the hip and you were quick to place tension there. a grunt of approval was all you earned. he did the same to your shoulders and you were quick to straighten up.

“that is proper position.” tsu’tey said. he tapped your stomach lightly. “firm. strong. it is good. it is powerful. keep this habit of strong core and you will learn the posture fast. it will be as easy and natural as swinging up onto his the back of pali.”

“right,” you said softly.

“now draw back the bow.” he said.

you hooked two fingers around the string and pulled. your lips thinned and your brows knitted together as you pulled harder. and harder. the bow seemed unwilling to bend and you were quick to let the string go.

“bad. again.” tsu’tey said with an impatient flick of his head. “you did not even try.”

“i did try. the bow feels like it’ll break if i pull at it anymore.” you said with a small huff.

tsu’tey hooked his bow over his shoulder. he snatched yours from your hand and you could only watch as he pulled an arrow from his quiver, loaded the bow, and shot it.

it stuck straight into the dirt, the calling card swaying in the breeze.

“it did not break.” tsu’tey said, handing it back to you. “you are not strong enough to break it because you are not even strong enough to draw it back.”

you felt your chest burn. you took the bow back without another word. ignoring the way his constant belittling was beginning to hurt, you did your best to draw the bow back. you kept your core tight, your posture tall, and your breath even. you pulled back as hard as you could. at a certain point, the resistance gave way and allowed you to pull back fully.

“yes.” tsu’tey said, cupping your elbow. “now hold this position.”

“it’s hard,” you whispered, your fingers gripping the bow with all your might.

“hold this position until i say so or i will make you run to home tree and back.” tsu’tey said.

you had to grit your teeth. you kept your stance locked. you kept your core tight and yourself tall— but your breathing soon gave way. the bow was large. it was heavy. the string was thick and harsh against your callous-less fingers. soon enough, you were shaking.

squeezing your eyes shut, you fought not to let the string pull your arm down. the seconds felt like hours and the minutes felt like days. unless it hadn’t been minutes. you had no idea. everything was moving too slow and with each moment that passed, the odds stacked against you. your bicep was burning. your core was cramping. your hands were beginning to sweat. your breaths came in small gasps.

“release.”

you let the string fly from your finger tips and the bow snapped into shape. if an arrow had been loaded, you wondered how far it would’ve gone.

“resolve is something i don’t have to teach you. that was good enough for now.” tsu’tey said with a small nod. “strength can always be built. willpower cannot. it takes a strong heart to have discipline.”

“and i have a strong heart?” you asked even though you already knew his answer.

“yes,” tsu’tey said even when you didn’t think he would. he looked over the whole of you. his eyes lingered on your mouth. “you have a very strong heart. it is why eywa smiles upon you when i do not.”

“why are you being so rude?” you asked. you turned to face him and shook your head. “seriously. why? did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?”

your phrasing confused him but he did not attempt to understand. “because you have angered me.”

“i’ve angered you? how?” you asked.

tsu’tey hissed and waved his hand. “no. just be quiet. be quiet and do the one thing i taught you. practice your stance so that you do not make a fool of yourself when you attempt to shoot an arrow.”

“if you’re going to be a dick to me then no.” you tossed the bow at him.

he caught it and his eyes widened in a terrible, terrible way. fury. the disrespect of your action could’ve turned him red. he grasped the air beside your head — as if he wanted to crush you in the palm of his hand — and bared his teeth.

“get out of my sight, demon.” he murmured through his teeth. “we are done. if you are going to act like that, you can sing songs until you lose your voice.”

“no,” you said. suddenly frustrated, you reached to grab the bow back. “i’ll do it. just give it to me.”

“no,” he held it away from you. “you have caused disrespect. you will try again when i tell you. today you will remain weak and unskilled.”

“i’m not weak. stop calling me that.” you whispered with your breath tight in your throat.

tsu’tey laughed at you. “if you tried to show that you were strong today, you showed wrong. your heart is not aligned with your body. and i don’t know if you have a mind at all.”

you shoved him.

tsu’tey stumbled back. he scowled at you, his face pinching in anger as he tilted his head. soundlessly, he warned you not to do that again.

you shoved him again.

he smacked you upside the head. hard. really hard.

“ugh!” you complained, caressing the back of your head. “you are such a fucking jackass!”

“i don’t know what that means, demon, but you are that, too.” tsu’tey hissed.

“it means you are the worst person i’ve ever met! you are mean and cold and cruel! you’re a jerk to me all the time! it’s like you’re allergic to being nice!” you exclaimed all at once. the words just came rushing out with no thought to if he would understand them at all.

“because i don’t like you,” tsu’tey said through his teeth. he glared down at you and stuck his finger in your face. “you and your people are a curse on this land. you are a sickness.”

you laughed at him. “then why did you want to fuck me so bad?”

tsu’tey’s fiery resolve seemed to falter. staring down at you, his ears pinned. he sighed under his breath and looked away. “great mother grant me patience.”

“you won’t even deny it?” you shook you head at him and laughed again. you knew you were rubbing dirt into wounds. you should’ve been careful considering he could’ve done the same to you. “is that why you’re so mad at me? because you want to fuck me?”

he wouldn’t look at you. like a bull, he huffed out of his nose. his face twitched. his tail flicked sharp and fast. frustration had never looked so good on someone. he was a master at it.

“i’m the weak one?” you tutted you tongue and whispered, “some warrior you are if you can’t fight against desire.”

tsu’tey grabbed you by your face. squishing your cheeks between his fingers, he hissed at you. “you never shut your mouth.”

“you don’t even realize what you do to me. you fault me for my poor judgment when you’re the one covering my eyes.” tsu’tey said.

“m’not— doin’ an’thng.” you tried to say between your squished lips as you struggled to free your face from his grasp.

“you are. you don’t even know it because you are a demon in the skin of my people. you rubbed your scent on me at the river. you started a chase game. you asked me about mating. your body was crying in the hot spring.”

“you look at me with those eyes…”

tsu’tey’s grip on your face lessened. his hand clasped around your throat lightly and your hand still flew to his wrist. you couldn’t draw breath. not because he held you too tight but because you forgot how to.

“i— i don’t do it on purpose.” you whispered helplessly.

“i know,” tsu’tey murmured as he ran his thumb along your throat. “which is why i hate you even more. you have no control over your instincts. you have no control over your body. your mind fails you, demon.”

“and my body is failing my mind because of it.”

staring at him, the look in his eyes made your knees weak. he was staring at your mouth. his fingers flexed around your throat. as your eyes met, you stepped forward and tried to kiss him.

“do not…” tsu’tey murmured, glaring at you between the inches that separated you.

you raised your hand up to his face. as your fingers brushed against his cheek, he flinched. his ears pinned. he could’ve hissed at you— but his expression turned warm as you glided your thumb across his lips. his pupils dilated.

“can i have the bow back?” you asked in a whisper. “i’m sorry for throwing it at you.”

rationality seemed to comeback to him. he let go of your throat, his fingertips grazing the beads of your top. your eyes never left each other. he handed you the bow and you took it— or tried to. he didn’t let it go, either. the longer you stared at each other, the more convinced you were that he would kiss you.

you wanted him to.

a sharp yip sliced through the hair and something hit the ground. tsu’tey pushed the bow at you and turned. looking over his shoulder, you saw her. she’d jumped down from the trees above. her bow was in her hand, a magnificent piece of woodwork. her tail flicked as she met your gaze.

neytiri.

“oel ngati kameie,” tsu’tey said, gesturing the act.

neytiri returned the gesture. when her eyes fell upon you again, you signed i see you. she dipped her head the smallest bit and gave a lazy wave of her hand. you couldn’t be offended. that was more than tsu’tey usually gave you.

the pair conversed in navi. they spoke too fast for you to understand. they spoke low, too, as if tsu’tey knew you would be able to understand them if you tried hard enough. some pieces you picked out.

forest.

nantang.

moron.

demon.

they were talking about you. you rolled your eyes and scoffed under your breath. was tsu’tey informing her of how bad your posture was? how weak you were? or was he trying to convince her that you weren’t anything at all.

had she seen you two…

your stomach knotted and you felt sick. if she had seen you two touching and…oh, lord in heaven. you were dead meat. dead. dead before you could be reborn.

tsu’tey whistled and the direhorse returned to the archery clearing. mitsia came to your side and brushed her face against your shoulder. you turned to look at tsu’tey. he mounted his direhorse and pulled neytiri up after him.

“we return to home tree now. quickly, demon.”

you mounted your direhorse and were quick to follow after him and neytiri. one of her arms were hooked around his waist. you had no time to feel jealous because all you felt was sick. had she seen you both? would you be placed in front of the olo’eyktan and the tsahik and scolded? worse, would you be banished? executed?

you could hardly walk straight as you entered home tree. when you arrived, people were in uproar. tsu’tey was quick to come to your side and grab you by the back of your arm. you looked up at him but he did not meet your gaze and you weaved your way through the crowd of people gathered by the meeting circle.

“mawey!” the tsahik said, raising her hands high into the air.

silence followed— all but one voice. as you and tsu’tey broke through the crowd of people, you saw him. for a moment, you recoiled at the sight of tactical jeans and an RDA issued shirts on a blue figure.

regretfully, it took you a moment to recall that face of his in his avatar body.

“jake!” you exclaimed, your pupils blowing wide and your ears perking.

tsu’tey hissed as you pulled your arm free from his grasp. you didn’t care. not about anything else. you nearly tackled him to the floor as you threw your arms around him. jake caught you, stumbling to keep you both upright. a near cry slipped passed your lips to see a familiar face.

to see a true friend.

“holy shit, eris.” jake breathed as his arms tightened around your waist. it had taken him a moment to register your blue face, too.

“what the hell are you doing here?” you asked as you pulled away. when you met his eyes, you saw the scratches and the bruises on his face. you lifted your hand to his jaw and gasped softly. “jesus, jake, are you okay?”

“they really should’ve put us through ground training. i may know my way around a gun and hand-to-hand combat, but that’s all useless out here in these woods. i nearly got torn to pieces by a pack of these ugly ass wolf-things trying to keep norm and grace safe. norm got hurt and so i did the only thing i could which was distract them and run.”

“thankfully that blue valkyrie over there found me.” jake said with a glance toward neytiri. his brows raised and he smiled at you. “her and a group of hunters. they saved my ass.”

before you could say anything else, the tsahik approached. she raised her hand and instinctively you stepped away from jake. you bowed your head. jake stiffened as the tsahik grabbed him by his chin and examined the cuts on his face.

“you know him.” the tsahik stated a fact and she glanced at you.

“yes. he’s in my program. we work for grace augustine.” you said.

“nice to meet you,” jake said with a polite tilt of his head.

tsu’tey stepped forward, speaking words that jumbled in your ears. you picked out what you could. what was important.

how many demons!

you clenched your teeth. you knew exactly what he was asking. how many of you would come here? your arrival had been an accident. a pure chance of fate. was jake’s run-in with the nantang the same? or was it planned?

from his volatile expression alone, tsu’tey seemed to think you were now being planted here.

“you.” tsu’tey hissed as he grabbed you by the back of your neck. “walk.”

“hey, woah, woah, woah.” jake pulled his face away from mo’at and turned. he stuck his arm out, hitting tsu’tey in the chest. “you best take your hands off her right now or we’re gonna have a fuckin’ problem.”

tsu’tey bared his teeth.

“jake,” you whispered his name and guided his hand back towards his side. “it’s fine…”

before jake could say anything else, tsu’tey pushed you along. you tried your best to shrug him off but he wouldn’t let you go. his grip was tight. too tight. tighter than it had ever been as he guided you up the center column of home tree.

“ow!” you hissed as he shoved you into his hut by the back of or your neck.

“sit.” he demanded, pointing to the floor.

you were quick to drop down. you watched as he paced. you could see the thoughts running through his mind. you tensed as he crouched down in front of you. staring into his eyes, you’d never been afraid of him. never truly.

you were now.

“who is that man?” tsu’tey asked in a lower, calmer voice than you expected.

“jake sully,” you said. you wracked your brain for anything else remotely useful. “he…he’s new to the avatar program like me. he is a marine.”

“marine?” tsu’tey asked.

“warrior.” you said.

tsu’tey seemed to scowl. he rolled his eyes and shook his head. “demon warrior ends up here? by chance? tell me truthfully and i’ll reward you with not killing you…has this man been sent here?”

“no,” you said. the word jumped from your throat. all you could do was shake your head. you were trying to convince yourself more than you were trying to convince him him. “i— i mean…i don’t think so.”

“but he could have been?” tsu’tey asked.

“not by grace…”

your heart sank. grace would’ve never sent anyone to infiltrate the omatikaya— but quaritch would.

he could.

he already had…

jake was a marine just like him. it was too easy. it was too perfect— and it was a real possibility.

had you not given the colonel enough information? did you not have the skills to give him the kind of information he needed to know? did he tangle jake into this because jake could find out exactly what it is that he wanted to know?

how the hell to kill tsu’tey.

you stared into tsu’tey’s eyes and you both knew there was only one way to get answers.

“i need you to return to your body and find out what you can about how he ended up here. if his story matches with grace’s…maybe eywa has a a twisted sense of humor after all.” tsu’tey looked past you and spoke in a whisper, “if this demon warrior has been sent to spy, it wouldn’t be the first time your people have sent someone here to do such a thing.”

your stomach dropped. you knew all too well the kind of spies they sent to infringe on the na’vi. you knew, too, the kind of man who devised such a thing.

maybe jake really had been planted here…

“okay.” you exhaled a soft breath and placed your hand on you belly where the anxious pit sat. “alright…but if i go back now i won’t be able to come back until tomorrow.”

tsu’tey leaned in close and placed his hand on your tummy. your eyes fell closed as he dragged his lips across your forehead. the pain in your belly melted away like ice cream on a hot day. you exhaled the breath you held trapped in your throat.

“na’vi warriors are brave.” tsu’tey looked down at you and tilted his head. “are you brave?”

are you a na’vi?

that was the question he did not ask.

where do your loyalties lie, eris?

“hang tight, okay? i’ll be back as soon as i can.” you said softly, your breath all tangled in your chest.

“i don’t know what ‘hang tight’ is but i will know relief once i see you again.” tsu’tey said.

heat flooded your cheeks and your ears perked. your tail swayed and you knew your pupils were as wide as the moon you’d never see again. slowly, you dipped your head and signed, i see you.

tsu’tey dipped his head the slightest bit.

he could see you, too, even if he was stubborn.

“go.” he ordered with a stern wave of his hand.

and off you went.

— 🌌 —

each time you returned to your body, you grew to hate the lab lights even more. you pushed yourself out of your link-pod. a group of specialists were surrounding jake’s pod. his face was displayed on the screen beside it. grace was smoking a cigarette with a look of utter defeat plastered on her face.

how many idiots was she going to lose?

two.

because there were only two people stupid enough to get lost— you and jake.

“you’re back early,” grace said as you made your way over.

“what’s going on?” you asked through the dryness in your mouth. whether it was because you hadn’t had water since this morning or the fact that you were anxious, you couldn’t tell.

“the marine got himself lost and separated.” grace sighed. she put out her cigarette on the top of jake’s pod and shook her head.

“how?” you asked even though you already knew.

well, you knew what jake told you.

but was jake’s story the real story?

“we were out on an excursion gathering samples. tree roots so that i could test my new hypothesis on the almost neural-like connection the trees have to each other. we stumbled too close to a viperwolf den and it was like the seventh circle of hell opened up on us.” grace said.

she looked up at the screen displaying jake’s face and rolled her eyes. “for as hard as he is to work with in the lab, tactically he’s a blessing. our trigger-happy marine sprung straight into actions and kept norm from getting his face torn off.”

“the funny thing is,” grace tapped jake’s pod and looked down at you. “he didn’t even shoot a single bullet. he used himself as bait and angered the pack. he was gone into the trees. norm’s avatar suffered some nasty injuries. i couldn’t wait to bring him back and so we had to leave jake.”

“i’m just hoping the poor bastard is somewhere safe.” grace said with her lips pressed into a thin line.

“jake is in home tree.”

grace’s brows drew together and her lips parted— but no words came out. not a sound.

you’d never seen grace speechless before.

the cogs turned in her mind and she nodded once. “and you were sent back because there’s no way in hell you didn’t recognize him. i’m sure that did not bode well with your teacher, huh?”

you shook your head. “no, ma’am. tsu’tey is now questioning whether or not we’re being planted in home tree to…to spy on them…”

it was difficult for you to say.

grace pursed her lips and placed her hands on her hips. she inhaled a long, slow breath. when she let it out, all the tension she held went with it.

“well, i can’t really blame a skeptic for being skeptical, can i?” grace ran her hand through her short ginger hair. whatever she was thinking, it made you even more nervous when she stared at the red button that would pull jake from his link-pod.

“what?” you asked. the silence was nearly killing you.

“tsu’tey and i share a similar fear. if selfridge finds out one of the marine mutts is now in home tree, he’s going to tell the colonel. if the colonel knows, he’ll use jake to his advantage— and the last thing i need is for miles fucking quaritch to get his hands anywhere near my program.”

“we need to go.” grace said. she looked down and you and seemed to hesitate. “pack whatever you need. we won’t be back here for a while.”

your brows drew together and you shook your head. “what? where are we going?”

“we’re going full blue.” grace turned and sucked in a tight breath. she cursed inaudibly. “sorry about this jake.”

grace slammed her hand on the red button.

a swarm of people rushed over and grace was quick to open the hatch. you saw her begin to shine a light into jake’s eyes before the two of them were swallowed up by white coats. slowly, you turned away. you had to pack.

grace was sending the team incognito to try and sway the iron grip miles quaritch would hold on jake if he found out where jake’s avatar was.

grace was worried about the wrong avatar driver.

because you were about to become the colonels spy in both bodies.

thank you for reading :) hope you enjoyed! and thanks for the patience, too. i wish i had more time to write but alas… see ya when i see ya :P —moony

tag list: @plantgirliewholovespandora

pairing: tsu’tey and human!avatar driver (fem presenting)

content warnings: slight nsfw?, graphic language, alien vs human differences, unconventional grief, the RDA sucks, fuck u miles quaritch, tension you could cut with a knife, enemies to lovers. (also, i don’t like to capitalize sentences on tumbler :3)

word count: …idk >_<

pov: 2nd person so you can add yourself in. for writing/plot purposes, your character is named eris ramsey. i’ll use the name sparingly but i can’t take myself seriously writing y/n— so please just work with me here. i promise it’ll be worth it. (i hope)

< previous chapter

———🌌———

SUMMARY: earth was dying and your sister was, too, but cancer killed her faster than humans were killing earth. when she passed, she not only left behind an empty apartment full of memories but a billion dollar avatar without a driver. in a desperate attempt to not waste that money, the program she had spent the last five years preparing to join recruited you— her twin. of course, you agreed. there was nothing left on earth for you. there was nothing left on earth for anyone— that’s why people like your sister were sent off to pandora.

when your sister had spoken of pandora, it seemed like a dream.

the RDA promised it would be like a safari adventure.

truth was that pandora is beautiful. beautiful and unlike anything else across the whole of the universe. it is breathtaking— and that’s because what chases you through the forest hunts with the intent to kill; so you best run like hell even if your lungs are on fire. beasts and monsters of all kinds lurk out of sight waiting for the right moment to kill you dead— but none are as dangerous as him.

the blue shadow with the bow.

chapter three

— twilight river —

the floor was cold on your bare feet. as you climbed down from the bunk that you shared with jake, you were quiet as to not wake him— and norm who slept just across the room. you slipped on a pair of socks and pushed your hair out of your face. grabbing a sweater from off the coatrack and your keycard, you snuck out of your room.

you couldn’t sleep.

at this hour, the avatar labs were empty. four in the morning was no time for anyone to be up, but you could not settle. you could not rest. all you wanted to do was be where things were simpler.

the glass doors to the link-room slid open as you pressed your keycard to the sensor. gathering your sweater closer to you, you made your way inside. it smelled of soil and the sting of sterile alcohol. you had grown to like the smell.

it smelled, too, of cigarettes.

your stomach dropped as you saw her. she was sat at her desk with a smoking cigarette clinging to her lip. her glasses were low on her nose and she leaned over to steal glances at what lay magnified under her microscope as she typed away on her tablet.

“what the hell are you doing up? aren’t you tired from all the running around you do out there?” grace asked.

she knew it was you.

who else would break protocol?

link-pods were only in use from the hours of 8am sharp until — with the acceptation of you seeing as your body stayed in home tree — 9pm. no one was allowed to start earlier or end later unless having been approved by grace. with how late you usually returned, there was no way in hell grace would let you start early.

but you wanted to try anyways.

“i was curious,” you said as you made your way through the rows of desks and shelves. you kept your distance but stood on your tippy toes to see what she was documenting at this hour. “when i spoke to the tsahik, she said that she knew you. does that mean you could come to home tree?”

“no.” grace said. she took a long drag of her cigarette. you thought she would have said more but she only leaned back over the microscope.

“do you know tsu’tey?” you dared to ask.

“the hardass in line to become olo’eyktan after eytukan? yes. i’m familiar with him. he’s the one who saved you, isn’t he? what a lucky duck you are.” grace said with a shake of her head.

“he— he’s going to become the next olo’eyktan?” you asked softly. you hadn’t known that.

“yep,” grace said, popping the p. “i’m not sure if you’ve met neytiri, but she is to become tsahik after her mother. it’s tradition that the two become a mated pair. but last i heard, the whole situation is a bit complicated considering the history between them.”

your brows furrowed and you sat down in the chair beside grace. “can you tell me what happened?”

grace glanced at you.

you softened, frowning just a bit. “it has to do with why you’re not allowed at home tree, doesn’t it?”

“that’s…part of it, yes.” grace said with some reluctance. her brows drew together and she put out her cigarette with a sigh.

“i used to run a school near the village. i taught english to the younglings and the teenagers. i know tsu’tey and neytiri well because i was the one who taught them english.” grace said.

you couldn’t suppress the surprise on your face. why it shocked you so much you didn’t know. it made sense. who else would’ve been the one to teach the clan english? it wasn’t like parker selfridge or miles quaritch were sending out english books. still, to picture a younger tsu’tey learning from grace made your head spin.

“the school was open for many years. so many memories were made. so many laughs were had. so much trust was built— but nothing we touch will last.” grace said as she turned in her chair to face you. the artificial lights highlighted the grimness of her expression and it made your heart sink. “the RDA attacked the school in retaliation for a group of hunters destroying one of their bulldozers.”

“many people died. many children died. the old school house has been abandoned since. i — nor any of the omatikaya — will never step foot back there. not tsu’tey. not ninat or saela. not mo’at. not neytiri. not after sylwanin’s death.”

“sylwanin? who is that?” you asked.

“she was mo’at and eytukan’s eldest daughter. neytiri’s sister. she was to be the next tsahik after her mother. she and tsu’tey were fated to be a pair because of their roles, but they loved each other dearly.”

“it is a bit taboo for navi to engage in any kind of romance before they pass their iknimaya— the claiming of their ikran. ikran shall only ever have one rider. navi will only ever have one mate. it is in passing their iknimaya that they begin to understand the severity and the importance of life-lasting bonds.”

“tsu’tey and sylwanin walked the line very carefully after they passed their iknimaya. especially seeing as tsu’tey walked a different path than most.”

“in line to become olo’eyktan, he had to go through much more training. he had his iknimaya later than most males do. but like all males, tsu’tey was not allowed to pick a mate until after he completed his uniltaron.” grace said.

“what is that? uniltaron?” you asked.

“to some, it is considered the final stage of becoming a man or a woman. it is called the dream hunt and it…well, it just proves there is so much more to this world than we can even begin to believe.” grace said with a small shake of her head. “in order to be a man or a woman of the people, you have to be reborn. from what i know, the man or woman will ingest poison and if they survive, they return from their delirium with a message from eywa that is just for them. wisdom of some sort.”

“did you see tsu’tey go through his uniltaron?” you asked with a curious raise of your brow.

grace’s lips thinned and she shook her head. “no. tsu’tey had yet to complete it before the attack on the school. i know that he did months later after grieving the loss of sylwanin— and he’s been a different man since. colder. harsher. whatever visions he saw during his uniltaron and whatever wisdom eywa bestowed upon him, it hardened him.”

your heart sank. to imagine the pain he had suffered not only surviving his uniltaron but losing the woman he loved just before he could have her— it was unimaginable.

you had crushes on earth that ended badly. partners that made you cry and broke your heart in two.

but that was nothing like the loss tsu’tey suffered.

if navi mated for life and he was firm on his choice of sylwanin— it was no wonder there was difficultly between him and neytiri. not just for the fact that she was sylwanin’s sister but because tsu’tey had already made his choice.

he had chosen her but she was gone.

“what was he like before?” you asked. you shouldn’t have but you did— and you don’t know why you did.

“tsu’tey?” grace — as sad as she was — couldn’t help but smile the smallest bit. “a troublemaker. and a loudmouth. he was a shit-stirrer, that’s for sure.”

“but he was curious. so curious and eager. he was passionate about learning and he strived to understand all that he could. he was creative. he made wonderful paintings that i hung up on the walls of the school house. he was funny. he was selfless. he made sure that no one got left behind in their studies.” grace said. her voice was far too soft. she wiped at her eyes and cleared her throat, digging into her pocket for her cigarettes.

“grace…i…i can always raise the idea of you being allowed back at home tree.” you said as gently as you could.

grace laughed. it was a soft, sweet laugh. as she met your eyes, you could see how much your offer had struck her. her appreciation was palpable— but she shook her head.

“that is very sweet of you but the trust the people placed in me was broken. i told them it was safe and that nothing bad could come of a school— and the worst thing imaginable happened.” grace said.

“we cannot change the past. it happened. we must move forward regardless. that is what i have tried to do and that is what the clan has done. tsu’tey is still in line to become olo’eyktan. he has become a lethal warrior and a fearless leader. i hear a lot of chatter about him from the soldiers. he and his group give the RDA soldiers a lot of trouble.” grace said with a slight smile as she lit up a cigarette.

“be careful what you do out there with him.” grace ashed her cigarette and glanced at you. “if the RDA catch you on any of the stunts he pulls with the bulldozers, they’ll lock you in a holding cell and decide a fate worse for you than death. you’ll either be sent to the mines or be brought back to earth.”

you throat went dry.

on the day you arrived, you remembered seeing the bulldozers with the arrows stuck into the tires. the broken windshields. the destroyed cameras.

that had been him.

“the RDA don’t like him…” it wasn’t a question.

“hell, no they don’t.” grace said with a gruff laugh. she took a drag of her cigarette and shook her head. “he’s got a big ol’ price on his head. the RDA can’t actively hunt for him because that would start a war, but the soldiers know to pop one through his skull if they ever see him in action on one of his ambushes.”

the RDA wanted tsu’tey dead.

you felt the color drain from your face. your stomach churched and you could ringing in your ears.

the RDA wanted tsu’tey dead— and you had just been appointed their number one asset on figuring out the best possible way to dispose of him without making too much of a mess.

that is why quaritch sought you out.

he heard your fateful survival story through the grapevine and stuck his nose into your file. he found your logs. he knew the name you said in all nine of your logs. he knew who you spent the last nine days with.

you were the pupil of the navi he wanted dead.

“but tsu’tey is smart. too smart. he keeps his distance from anything that involves the RDA when he’s not actively trying to blowup the dozers and snipe soldiers from the trees. at least, he’s tried hard to.” grace glanced at you and said, “you really must be something special to fall on his radar and have him tuck you under his wing.”

seems you had that charm with too many dangerous people on pandora— and it scared you.

sitting across from grace, you wanted to tell her everything. you wanted to tell her about the atokirina. you wanted to tell her that tsu’tey would be training you to be a warrior. you wanted to tell her about quaritch and the deal you had no other choice but to make with him.

but you couldn’t.

if you did, you risked everything that was already on the line. your life. tsu’tey’s life. perhaps the life of every avatar driver in the RDA.

you had to be smart.

you needed a plan in order to keep everyone safe.

“is it alright if i link?” you asked. you couldn’t bring yourself to look at her. if you did, you feared you would’ve burst into tears.

grace took a long, long, long drag of her cigarette. she breathed out the smoke through her nose. “it’s not even five in the morning yet.”

“i know…but i want to be there. it’s my day off. a rest day, as tsu’tey said. i won’t be anywhere dangerous today. that much i swear to you. if i get tired, i’ll come back. i promise.” you said, lifting your gaze up just enough to catch the smallest glimpse of her eyes.

you were surprised to see such a soft expression.

“go on,” grace said with a wave of her hand. “i’ll fire up all the machines.”

your heart lightened and you couldn’t help but smile. “thank you, grace…”

the soft blue cushion in your link-pod was never under you for long. the black of your eyelids tunneled into white and you felt yourself make the shift. the warm open air was comfortable. even though you couldn’t feel the cold of the lab any longer, you could recall the way it made your real fingers feel numb.

you opened your eyes and took a much needed deep breath. finally, you felt like you could breathe. you focused on the rise and fall of your chest for a long time. under your palm and laid upon your chest was the small carving of mitsia. you lifted your hand up and admired the woodwork.

whether he knew it or not, this little gift meant a lot to you.

you crawled out of your hammock as quietly as you could. most inhabitants of home tree were still sleeping. the sun had not yet risen. there was no reason to be up this early— not back at the RDA and not here in home tree now.

but you couldn’t sleep even if you wanted to.

if you were going to venture anywhere outside of home tree by yourself, you’d need your gear. you didn’t have much of it. all you had was a small knife, some twine, a small pouch for food, and a waterskin.

and all of that was in his hut.

if there was one thing you’d picked up on your own over the last — now — ten days, it was how to be silent.

you crept your way inside tsu’tey’s hut. guiding the flap closed, you stayed still. absolutely silent. it was dark except for the freckles on you that glowed.

and the freckles on him.

in his bed of furs, tsu’tey slept on his back. with one hand behind his head, his breath came out even and deep. he scowled even in his sleep. the pout of his lips and deep line between his brow was not hard to miss even in the dark.

did he dream?

if he did, was he not having a good one?

you frowned.

while you worried for him, you weren’t going to stick around and wait for him to see you in his hanging hut. you’d seen the inside of his home twice before. once the first time you arrived. the second time when he needed to find you a new loincloth because you had been a klutz at dinner and bumped into someone who spilled purple juice all over you.

you knew where he kept all the gear.

plucking your stuff from the mounts on the wall, you were in and out with a silence he would’ve been impressed with had he been awake.

you kept your silent streak as you climbed down the center column of home tree and left. a few navi awake at this hour saw you and you exchanged polite glances, but no one stopped you from leaving. you weren’t forbidden from going off by yourself.

well, you’d never been told you couldn’t and you never asked if you could.

perhaps there was a lesson to be learnt today…

you strapped your stuff around your waist and kept your promise to grace. you didn’t go far from home tree. even if you hadn’t made that promise, you weren’t dumb enough to get yourself lost.

at this hour, the riverbank was illuminated by the forest surrounding it. algae in the water glowed all different shades of blue, green, and yellow. fish swam by displaying the same colored dots. bugs buzzed by, twinkling soft white lights.

peace.

your heart knew peace here.

with your feet in the water and your eyes as wide opened as they could be, you took in the majesty that was pandora at night. in the sky above, you were reminded that pandora was a moon. a moon that orbited a much larger planet alongside a smaller moon. you knew little of the planet you orbited. only that it was massive and made of gas.

as you continued looking up, you admired the stars. there were so many. while the constellations you had known about as a child were always hidden by smog and light pollution, you couldn’t see them even here. no gemini twins. no virgo. no orion’s belt. only new stars to fall in love with. new constellations that you imaged had tongue-twister names in navi.

“can you see your home from here?”

you nearly jumped out of your skin hearing his voice. you placed your hand on your chest and laughed as he sat down beside you. “fuck sake…yknow breaking a stick back there would’ve been a nice indicator that you were coming.”

“sorry,” tsu’tey smirked. “didn’t mean to scare you, skxawng.”

you rolled your eyes at him. looking back up at the sky, you shook your head. “i don’t think earth is visible. even if it was, i wouldn’t know where it is.”

tsu’tey leaned towards you and pointed upward. tilting your head back further, you tried to see what exactly he was pointing at. heat rushed to your face as he guided your chin with his other hand. you saw it. the tiny, tiny, tiny twinkling dot on the endless night sky.

“that’s earth?” you asked softly, your eyes widening.

“no. that is your sun.” tsu’tey said. he stared up at it too and shook his head. “your home is somewhere around it. too small to see.”

“huh…” you whispered.

“what are you doing here at this hour?” tsu’tey asked.

“i couldn’t sleep.” you said. it was the truth. “grace made an exception for me to link. i wanted to be out here instead of in there.”

“why are you here?” you asked, glancing at him.

“i could smell you.” tsu’tey said with a small grimace. “you were in my hut. sneaky little thing you are. stinky, too.”

you laughed and nudged him in the ribs. “asshole.”

his eyes widened and he touched his side. for a moment, you almost wondered if you’d hurt him. worse, if you offended him.

he nudged you back.

gently.

when you were alone with him— really, truly alone with him — he was not as unapproachable as he usually was. how he acted now was how he acted when you raced through the forest together. it was how he acted when he carried you on his back to safety.

it was moments like these that made you feel seen.

more than as an avatar. more than as a student. more than an alien. more than a project or a burden. more than a replacement.

you felt like a person when he looked at you.

“how did you know that was my sun?” you asked, tilting your head back once more to see it. you had to find it first— and you did so with his help.

“grace.” tsu’tey said, short and simple. not sweet. not sour. not anything besides simple.

you met his eyes. for a moment, you were absolutely captivated by the glowing freckles on his face. it was one of your most favorite things about the navi. you wanted to count each one and see how many there were. his freckles were like constellations of their own.

“i think grace misses you.” you whispered. you shouldn’t have brought up grace at all. it treaded on things he may not want you to know— but you owed it to grace to wiggle her name back into conversation.

she cared about the omaticaya.

and once, they cared about her, too.

tsu’tey scoffed under his breath and looked away. “grace can miss me all she wants. it changes nothing…”

“maybe not,” you agreed. you shrugged and shook your head. “but that doesn’t mean it can’t change anything.”

tsu’tey looked at you. slowly, he shook his head. he didn’t understand.

“the past won’t change. that much you’re right about. but just because you can’t change the past doesn’t mean you can’t make change to better the future.” you said softly.

“we have this saying on earth. time heals all wounds. sometimes, certain kinds of wounds take longer to heal. especially ones in here.” you placed your hand on your chest and looked up at the stars. “it does no one any good to dwell in the pain that has run its course long enough.”

“i cannot let go of the pain.” tsu’tey said as he pulled his knees up to his chest. he rested his chin on them and stared at the rippling water of the twilight river. “it is the only thing that reminds me that the happiness i felt had been real.”

as he met your eyes, your heart sank.

he knew that you knew.

you knew about him. about the school. about what had happened there. about sylwanin. whether he knew you had found out tonight was not important. in his mind, you had known. of course, you had known. you and your group of aliens studied and studied and studied away at him and his people.

he figured you knew everything about him.

and yet you had rejected the one question he’d asked about you.

“i was sent here because my sister died,” you said. it was harder to say than you wanted it to be because it was the first time you said it out loud.

everyone around you always said it for you.

oh, you’re here because she died.

oh, sorry your sister died.

“her name was evelyn. she was a scientist like grace. this body was meant to be hers.” you looked down at your hands. you showed them to him and cracked a small smile. “i’m a twin so i was able to take the job. i don’t offer much to the program grace runs. i’m really just an attempt at trying not to lose the RDA any more money.”

“a twin…” tsu’tey shook his head. “that is like…you resemble each other? born together, yes?”

“yeah,” you said with a small nod. “she always said i looked like her because she was older by a couple minutes. guess im the older one now, huh?”

tsu’tey smiled faintly. “sylwanin was older than me…but not anymore though.”

you shared in his downturned smile. carefully, you leaned over and rested your head on his arm. he tensed— but he did not push you off. he looked down at you. his invisible brow furrowed and he swallowed the lump in his throat.

“i am sorry about your sister, eris.”

heat bled through you like a furnace as he said you name. the air froze in your lungs. your heart nearly began galloping. it was beating against the inside of your ribs like a drum. you could ear it in your ears.

“i’m sorry about your mate.” you whispered as you tilted you head back to look up at him.

tsu’tey looked down at you and shook his head. “she was not my mate.”

“yes, she was.” you said. you smiled and gave him a soft nudge. “you chose her. just because you had no time to treat her as such doesn’t make it any less true. you loved her. im sure you still do. you would have married her. that means something.”

tsu’tey’s face pinched with soft agony. soft, sweet agony. he looked away and blinked hard. he cleared his throat and rubbed at his eyes with his fingers.

you’d struck something deep within him.

something that no one had been able to reach.

“why is it that you see such a thing and others do not?” tsu’tey asked through a tightness in his throat. he kept rubbing at his eyes. “if a demon can understand it then why can’t the tsahik?”

your chest caved in as you realized what he was referring to.

he was expected to become a pair with neytiri.

“i think it’s a matter of duty and no so much…feeling.” you said as gently as you could.

tsu’tey grunted and nudged you off him. “i know that, skxawng. all anything ever is for me is duty.”

“i— i’m sorry.” you whispered.

he looked down at you. the anger in his expression subsided and he shook his head. his ears pinned back and he hooked an arm around you. he held you against him and gave your arm a soft squeeze.

“no, i’m sorry. you are being so kind and i…i’m just…i’m angry. not at you, taronyutsyìp. at everything else. it all feels so…i don’t have the word for it.” tsu’tey said softly.

“overwhelming?” you offered.

“overwhelming…i do not know what the means but it sounds like it fits. yes. yes, i am overwhelming.” tsu’tey said with a small shake of his head.

you laughed. you couldn’t help it.

“what?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

“don’t say it like that. when you say ‘i’m overwhelming’ it basically means that you think you are being too much.” you said with a small giggle, “instead, you want to say, ‘this fuck-ass shit is overwhelming.”

tsu’tey’s brows drew together and he shook his head. “this fuck-what? fukess sheet?”

“fuck-ass.” you said again. “fuck-ass. fuck-ass shit. it means like…it means this shit is like skxawng. this skxawng shit. fuck-ass shit.”

“this…this fuck-ass shit.” tsu’tey said, glancing at you. he raised an invisible brow.

“yeah!” you giggled. “this is some fuck-ass overwhelming shit!”

“this is shit overwhelming! fuck-ass!” tsu’tey exclaimed.

you raised your fist in the air. “hell yeah!”

“hell yeah!” tsu’tey said as he mimicked you.

your eyes met and the both of you laughed. it was the first time in a long time that you laughed hard enough to feel it in the core of your belly. it brought tears to your eyes to laugh so much. it was the first time, too, that you ever heard him laugh. really laugh. it was such a rich, sweet sound. he could hardly seem to catch his breath.

you had to crawl away from him. you felt like you would pass out if you laughed anymore. as you leaned away and tried to drag yourself to a place far enough that you could calm down, tsu’tey grabbed you by the waist.

“where are you going, demon?” he purred against your ear as he tugged you back toward him. “too overwhelming for you?”

“my stomach hurts— agh!” you giggled, trying to pushing him away as he turned you to face him. “please— i’m going to die.”

tsu’tey grinned down at you. “you can’t die on me, skxawng. it’s my job to protect you, remember?”

you looked up at him with the stars in yours eyes as you nudged and pushed at him. he did the same back.

this kind of touch was familiar to the both of you.

you’d grown accustom to his touch— and he’d grown accustomed to touching you. you spent most of the time you bickered swatting at each other. you’d hit him with your tail. he pinch your arm. you’d bump him with you shoulder. he’d tug your tail.

his tail be betrayed him now. you could hear it swooshing through the grass. you felt it. every now and again it would bump against your thigh. your own tail was just as erratic. thumping against the ground like a racing heart. his ears perked as yours did. you were watching each other closely. too closely. every little move you made, he made.

you wanted to run.

it came up instinctively.

for the first time, you felt a sixth sense rise within your belly. an instinctual overwhelming urge to run because you knew he would chase you. it was an unspoken promise between the two of you with your tails flicking.

and so you ran.

scrambling to your feet, you ran along the edge of the water. with the sun beginning to rise, the pandoran sky began to bleed pink. across the surface of the water, the light began to reflect. reflecting, too, were the running images of the both of you.

you spun around as he tried to grab you by the tail. jumping back, your eyes were wide. your ears stood at attention. tsu’tey was low. crouched to be level with you, his pupils were blown as wide as a full moon. you could see yourself in his eyes.

you could see him.

the shit-stirring, funny, jackass.

tsu’tey lunged at you and you scrambled back. he watched your every move. for a split second, you could imagine that this was a test. how fast were you? how agile? how strong? how would you fare in the training he would put you through?

“you are not very good at this game, taronyutsyìp.” tsu’tey said with a small shake of his head.

“what does that mean?” you asked. you were slightly breathless. “that’s— that’s now the second time you’ve called me that.”

“hunter,” tsu’tey smiled. “little hunter.”

you had no time to smile.

you narrowly escaped his grasp as he lunged for you again. he laughed. “you really are not good at this game, skxawng!”

“what game are we even playing!” you exclaimed in a fit of laughter as you dodged and dodged and dodged.

“if i touch you, you must then catch me.” tsu’tey said. he smacked you on the ass. “but you’re not good at avoiding me.”

blood rushed to your face as your eyes widened. you gawked at him and he only laughed.

“tag?” you shook your head at him and couldn’t fight the urge to smile. “we’re playing fucking tag? im lightyears away from earth and i’m playing tag with a navi?”

“what?” tsu’tey asked with an all too charming smile. “you don’t want to play with me, demon?”

you sprinted for him.

his laughter echoed across the riverbed like thunder. he was so damn fast. your lungs burned as you chased him all the way into the forest. your eyes widened as he ran his way up massive tree roots that resembled arches. you followed behind him. you moved as fast as you could but he only went higher and higher.

was now a good time to mention to him that you weren’t too sure how you felt about heights?

no.

there was no way you were letting an alien beat you in tag. you were determined to catch him.

you leapt from massive branch to massive branch in pursuit of him. he stayed just out of reach. when you got close, he would pick up his pace. teasing you. he was teasing you— and he was testing you.

“woah!” you gasped, losing your footing.

tsu’tey spun around and grabbed you by the waist. he tugged you towards the center of the branch, his eyes wide. “are you okay?”

“yeah, i— i…i got you!” you poked him in the center of his chest.

the shock on his expression was delicious.

“what! that is— this is cheating!” tsu’tey laughed in utter disbelief. his eyes were wide and his ears were all the way up.

“it’s not cheating. a smart opponent uses all their skills. my wit and my tactics are just as valuable as your speed and strength.”

“but, hey, it’s okay.” you said. you reached up and flicked his forehead. “it just means you are slow in here.”

“oh, you are…you are so…” he wanted to reach out and grab you. his fingers curled in front of your face as if he were squeezing you with his mind— but you could see the delight in his eyes. “you are an evil woman.”

you tipped your head and gave a small bow. “anything i am, i am because i learned from you, my dearest teacher.”

“mm,” he purred. the sound shocked you and you looked up just in time to see his pupils dilate. “you are mine. anyone who sees you can tell that much on first glance. you have begun to curl your lip as i do. have you noticed?”

you touched your mouth. your eyes widened. you did. how long had you been doing that for? you tried to rub the habit out of the muscle as you tried your best to ignore the way his words made you feel.

you are mine.

it touched upon that instinctual place in your belly. the unfamiliar part of you that couldn’t be denied. something that you’d only ever felt in your avatar. even though your mind was human, this body was not.

and your slow human mind couldn’t comprehend why you wanted him to bite you.

what your dumb, stupid, idiot human mind wanted to do was ask him, ‘am i?’ but you had more class.

you’d ignore the tension between you both because tonight you had found out that he’d once been the navi-version of engaged and lost his lover— and there was a gray line of him possibly being engaged to said lovers sister.

you weren’t going to try and unpack that box.

you were already on pandora.

besides, according to grace, navi could only begin courting when they passed their iknimaya. you had yet to do that. he was off the table and so were you.

yet why was he looking at you like that?

to sway the tension you felt in your belly, you walked with him across the towering tree roots. he followed you without missing a beat. the bioluminescent moss glowed as you stepped on it. as you walked, you wondered if he ever felt awkward. right now you felt awkward. did he ever feel awkward around you?

did he ever think similar thoughts to you?

you didn’t think so— but there was a part of you that couldn’t help but imagine it. he touched you so often. for humans, he touched you in places that were considered more personal. your hips. your thighs. your ass.

you still couldn’t believe he slapped you on the ass.

surely, it didn’t matter?

it wasn’t provocative for him the way it was for you.

unless it was…

“i’m curious,” you said without lifting your gaze up from the path you walked. you were afraid you’d fall off the tree root if you didn’t pay attention. “on earth, humans — more often than not — date around before they settle with ‘the one’. for your people, it’s different, isn’t it? grace said that involving yourself romantically with anyone is not usually accepted, right? because you mate for life?”

“it is a complicated matter. the expectation for those who have not passed their uniltaron is often disregarded.” tsu’tey said. he spoke with ease. a conversation between two friends. “there are some who follow the expectation. they do not engage in any kind of relations. others, like myself, will make some advances on a potential mate. flirting. kissing. others go as far as to lie with each other.”

your brows raised and you asked, “really? is sex not how you mate for life then?”

“no,” tsu’tey said with a shake of his head. he met your eyes as you looked over your shoulder at him. “to become mates, navi must form tsaheylu with each other. like ikran only taking one rider, navi can only ever take one mate.”

“so are you not a virgin then?” you asked as you turned.

he stopped and tilted his head at you. “virgin?”

“virgin. you know, like, you’ve never had sex with anyone.” you said.

tsu’tey pursed his lips and his tail swayed behind him. “you are an invasive little creature, demon.”

you asked something too personal and you could see it all over his face. there was irony in it though. of course, the guy who touched your ass would be a clam when asked anything remotely sexual.

“sorry.” you said, turning around.

“i’m not.”

you looked back. tsu’tey’s ears pinned and perked as you looked up at him. your brows drew together and you shook your head. he wasn’t what? he wasn’t sorry? he wasn’t a virgin?

“i wouldn’t be what you call a virgin.” he said.

your stomach hurt hearing him say that.

“did you and sylwanin…” you couldn’t ask outright. you threaded a thin, thin line.

tsu’tey shook his head. “no, not with her. much to my regret. i was too much of a rule follower then. so was she.”

“and you’re not a rule follower anymore.” it wasn’t a question.

“not in this regard.”

your heart skipped a beat as he stepped closer. you felt it again. something deep in your belly that seemed to weep as he neared. you wanted him to bite you. you wanted his hands all over you. he was so hot that it made you hot.

“are you a virgin?” tsu’tey asked. his voice was low. a purr that tickled your ears.

“yes and no.” you said. when he tilted his head, you kept your mouth moving. “in this body, yeah. of course. but me actually? no. i’ve had sex before.”

“and on earth sex is…similar?” tsu’tey asked, his eyes flicking across the whole of you.

your face burned. you shrugged your shoulders and couldn’t seem to find your voice. “i— i don’t know. how do navi…yknow…”

“i would turn you over and mount you.”

your mouth popped open and your eyes blew wide. your tail was smacking you in the legs and your ears hurt from standing up so straight.

weeping.

your core was weeping.

“and what then? you must have some kind of cock. navi women have similar parts between their legs to what i have in my body.” you said.

“something like that.” tsu’tey said with a nod.

“well endowed?” you asked before you could stop yourself. thankfully, a question like that would go over his head.

but it didn’t.

“i’m very tall.” he said.

tall.

did he mean that he towered over most other males so, of course, it was big? or did he mean that it actually was tall? maybe both.

you looked down at his loincloth.

it was easier than it should’ve been to imagine an erect blue pillar between his legs.

“what is your real body like?”

the question snapped you out of whatever daze had overcome you. you let out a soft breath and shook your head, “i’m not blue, for starters. i’m much smaller. my head would probably reach your hip if i’m lucky.”

tsu’tey seemed to imagine it. he looked down at his hip. trailing the length of you in front of him, his brow raised. to you, you were tall in this body. to him, you were small. he was a head and a half taller than you. in your real body, you would’ve been so, so small in front of him.

“human women have different chests,” tsu’tey said before you could ask him something more. “even now you have…” — he gestured to his chest. — “bigger. why?”

you looked down at your breasts. “i don’t know really. on earth, women have larger breasts for reproductive purposes. mothers produce milk for their babies. that makes them bigger.”

“if you think these are big, you should see me real body.” you said with an awkward laugh.

tsu’tey smirked. “big?”

“squishy.” you said.

“squishy…” he repeated the word. you knew he didn’t quite understand.

“soft.” you said. you smiled faintly. “human women are soft and squishy. navi women are tall and thin and agile.”

“do you look like this?” tsu’tey asked, flicking his head toward you. “if i saw you as you were, would i be able to recognize you?”

“it looks close enough like me.” you nodded. “this avatar looks more like my sister. even though we look the same, i still have trouble seeing me and not her.”

“but maybe,” you said. “if you ever saw me as i am you’d know because i’d probably be staring at you with my mouth wide open.”

“why open?” he asked.

“because…i can only imagine how tall you really are from all the way down there.” you said softly.

tsu’tey looked down, too. the corner of his mouth twitched into a smile. “and if you kneeled now it would not be the same?”

your face ran hot and your heart thumped in your chest. “huh?”

“if you kneel down, is that not the same?” tsu’tey asked.

“no,” you breathed. shaking your head, you swatted your tail as it smacked your hips. “it wouldn’t be the same.”

“do you realize how you’re being?” you asked without thinking. well, you were thinking. you were thinking about how badly you wanted to touch his arms. how would his skin feel on your lips…

“hm?” tsu’tey titled his head at you.

the smirk he wore was all too devilish.

he was flirting with you.

you shook your head at him. “and you say i’m the demon?”

“you are.” tsu’tey said as he walked passed you. he glanced over his shoulder. “but you’re pretty for one.”

you watched as he descended the root. you hurried to keep up. hopping down after him, you followed him through the waking forest. the sun was beginning to shine. warm rays illuminated the forest in gold. the bioluminescent colors faded away.

“where are you going?” you asked. you were leaving home tree further and further behind. your promise to grace felt like a collar around your neck— but he was the one who held your leash out here.

“today is a rest day for you, demon. i will show you the best place to seek comfort for bruises.” tsu’tey said.

you wouldn’t argue with that.

while you weren’t in bad shape, you had sore spots still. mitsia had learned not to buck and throw you off, but the many times that she did sure left their mark. you walked and walked to a ridge of stone. it towered a hundred feet upward.

“this way.” tsu’tey called, trying to keep your ever-fluttering attention. new places always had you gawking. “come on, skxawng. the rocks aren’t going anywhere any time soon.”

you laughed under your breath.

shit-stirring jackass…

you followed him down into a tunnel in the rock. the darkness swallowed you both whole— until the familiar blue, white, and purple bioluminescent colors greeted you the further into the tunnel you walked. you reached out to touch the hanging flowers as you passed. they swayed as your fingers brushed against them. further ahead, you could hear the sound of bubbling, swirling and whooshing.

“wow…” you whispered.

the tunnel opened into a cavern. glowing purple crystals and vibrant blue moss filled the hollow space with light. in the center, a bubbling pool. colored algae looked like glitter in the steaming water.

“you call this a hot spring, yes?” tsu’tey asked as he made his way towards the edge of the water.

“yeah,” you said. you followed too. you dipped your foot in and smiled at the warm, bubbly sensation. “oh, this is going to be awesome.”

tsu’tey grinned. “enjoy it demon. if you do not remember your way back, head straight back down the trail. home tree’s leafs will come into view soon enough. just look up.”

you turned and shook you head. “where are you going?”

“i have things i must do today.” tsu’tey said.

“what things?” you asked.

he hesitated for a moment, looking at you too carefully. “hunting.”

a lie.

he just lied to you.

“hunting…” you said the word slowly, as if you were assessing it between your fingers. you took a step into the water and looked up at him. “for what?”

“how do you think the clan eats, demon? for food.” tsu’tey said. his voice was gruff. his annoyed scowl made a return.

another lie.

he wasn’t going to be hunting animals.

he was going to be raising the price on his head.

“can you go later?” you asked. you frowned at him and traced the surface of the bubbling water with your finger tips. “you deserve time to rest, too. putting up with me is no easy task.”

tsu’tey said nothing but he did not leave.

you knew your suspicion was right. he had a plan today. he knew where RDA would be and he knew his window of opportunity was small.

“aren’t there other hunters?” you asked.

he sighed, “yes but—”

“perfect.” you said, reaching for his hand. you gave it a small tug. “then come. sit. relax.”

tsu’tey pulled his hand from yours and wore a sour face. he glanced at the exit. after a beat of silence, he seemed to give in.

your heart lightened and the fear of him getting tangled in anything RDA related dissipated.

tsu’tey undid his loincloth and tossed it aside. your eyes widened and you turned your head away. you were staring at the moss but all you could see was a massive blue cock in your mind. your face burned hotter than the water as he stepped passed you into the hot spring. it wasn’t until you heard him sit that you dared to look at him.

“don’t get your clothes wet, demon. we have no spare because i have not gotten the chance to clean.” tsu’tey said with a flick of his head.

“you— you expect me to sit in here with you naked?” you asked with your voice all caught up in your throat.

“do humans wear clothes in water?” tsu’tey asked with a curious tilt of his head.

“for something like this, yeah. a bathing suit. we don’t swim with each other naked. well, some people like to skinny dip but that’s beside the point.” you said, swatting away those thoughts.

“just take your clothes off and sit down, eris.”

your breath froze in your lungs but your blood rushed like fire through your veins. hot. you were so hot all over as he said your name. fuck. if he said your name, you’d do anything he asked.

you undid the tie of your loincloth and let it fall free. you tossed it near his along with your gear. carefully, you took off the beaded chest piece around your breasts and placed that down, too. you looked anywhere else as you sank down into the water. it was like a hot hug. your muscles sighed as you found yourself a comfortable seat on the natural ledge.

“stop staring.” you said under your breath.

you could feel his gaze. it was hotter than the water. you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. you didn’t want to know what kind of face he made. you didn’t want him to see how hard it was for you not to bite your lip.

“if i’m giving up a day of hunting to sit here with you, then i will look as i please.” tsu’tey said.

you met his eyes. to your surprise, he was looking at your face and not your breasts. only a few feet apart, you could see every glowing freckle on his face. you swallowed around the lump in your throat. your skin nearly melted off the bone as his eyes cut across you. they landed on your breasts.

“squishy?” he asked with no shame.

“yeah,” you whispered.

tsu’tey grinned to himself as he leaned back. he let his head rest against the ledge and his eyes fell closed. apart from the bubbling water, it grew entirely silent. he took full advantage of the time he had to relax and soak in the water.

you debated drowning yourself.

“you are so loud.” tsu’tey sighed.

“what?” you asked. your voice was hardly audible. “loud? i didn’t even say anything.”

“your heart.” tsu’tey said, flicking his head toward your chest. “your heart is loud. it is pounding.”

“well, it’s not like i can control that.” you muttered.

“great mother, grant me patience…”

before you could say anything, tsu’tey stood. water rippled down his toned blue body. the base of his cock was peeking at you from the bubbles. you could only stare at him in all his glory as he stood in front of you. the look in his eyes was far too difficult for you to read.

“turn.” he said.

“what?” you shook your head.

“if you want to be mounted so badly then turn.” tsu’tey said reaching down to lift you up by your arms.

your eyes shot open and your jaw dropped. “what? woah— woah, hold on.” you pushed your hand against his chest and stopped him. “what are you doing?”

“me? what are you doing, demon? you ask me questions about mating. you tell me to stay here with you instead of go on my hunt. i can smell your pheromones. you are not being discreet. is this not what you want?” tsu’tey asked.

you head was spinning.

you could hardly breathe.

“i— i didn’t mean to cause offense with those questions.” you said first and more most. “pheromones? i don’t—”

he cut you off. “do i look offended?”

being so close to him, you couldn’t tell what he looked like apart from sweaty and tense. his hands were curled tight at his side. his brow was glossed with sweat from the steam in the air.

offended?

no.

frustrated?

yes.

“aren’t you engaged?” you asked with more bitterness than you should’ve.

now he was offended.

he splashed you with water and bared his teeth in a frustrated growl. you gasped, wiping off your face.

“ugh! asshole!” you exclaimed with your ears pinned back.

you splashed him back. and then again. and again until he grabbed you by your arms and shook you. you grunted as your teeth clacked together. you reached a hand up to swipe at him with your nails but he caught you by the wrist.

staring up at him, you had hate in your eyes.

he had it, too.

it burned between you.

and it melted away at the both of you.

tsu’tey pushed you back against the edge of the hot spring. you made no attempt to stop him. your eyes stayed glued on his face. he stared at you, too, in a way that should’ve been far too invasive. you liked it. you like the edge to his expression. you like the power behind every moment. the dominance.

it was intoxicating.

or maybe it was the steam making your head swirl…

“no,” you said softly as he tried to turn you around. he tried again to turn you by your waist by you hooked your arms around his shoulders. “no.” you said again. firmly this time.

“navi don’t mate face to face unless they are bonded. you either turn or we stop.” tsu’tey said under his breath. it came out like a grumble.

“then we stop.” you said, dropping your arms from around his shoulders.

tsu’tey’s scowl was an old friend but you were not happy to see it. it meant that you were done. to both your dismay, it seemed. he stepped away from you and you couldn’t help but look down. he was erect. that much was nice to know.

he felt it, too. an attraction towards you like the one you felt for him.

maybe you weren’t losing it out here in the forest.

“the RDA doesn’t get along with you, do they?” you asked. you had the confidence to. rejecting his advances and watching him sit back down instead of leave gave you something to step up onto. not quite his level, but not as low.

tsu’tey scoffed and rested his head back against the ledge as he sat. “why ask questions you already know the answer to, demon?”

“because i want to know what it’ll take to make peace.” you said. the words were hard coming up your throat. you could hear the colonels voice in your head.

but you weren’t doing it just for him.

“truthfully, i want to know what it will take for grace to be allowed back at home tree.” you whispered.

“that decisions lies with the olo’eyktan and the tsahik.” tsu’tey said without opening his eyes.

“yes, but they listen to you. they listen to you and they keep their eyes on me. surely, there must be something that i could do.” you said.

it was silent for a long moment. tsu’tey stayed still. his chest rose and fell evenly. his eyes stayed shut. his expressed stayed blanket.

“there is, isn’t there?” you asked, moving towards him. the water sloshed against you as you sat beside him. “tell me what it is i have to do.”

“the olo’eyktan doubts you can form tsaheylu.” tsu’tey said lowly. he cracked a large yellow eye open to glance at you. he did not attempt to move even when you were near.

“what? how? i bonded with mitsia.” you said with a shake of your head.

tsu’tey laughed. he turned his head and looked up at you. fuck, did he look kissable right now. you could’ve just leaned down and done it. maybe he would’ve kissed you back.

“forming tsaheylu with pali is temporary. mitsia has grown fond of you because you have ridden her every day that we have trained with them. she is not yours. not really. not in the way an ikran would be.” he said.

“so…so if i form tsaheylu with an ikran, will grace be allowed to come back to the village?” you asked.

again, he laughed. “demon, if you can form tsaheylu with an ikran, you can pass iknimaya. if you pass iknimaya, you can pass uniltaron. if you pass uniltaron, you will become one of the people.”

“and that means…” your ignorance was pathetic.

you watched him fight the urge to smack you upside the head. his hand flex on the rock beside you. he had to grit his teeth. with a deep breath, he seemed to find his temper.

“that means, skxawng, that you may make your bow from the wood of home tree. you shall be welcomed by our ancestors. you shall take a mate. you shall mother many children. you shall be buried with our clan when you die.” tsu’tey said softly.

a flood of emotions ran through you in a matter of seconds. tears pricked at your eyes and you had not a clue why. looking away, you wiped at your lashes furiously.

“you cry?” tsu’tey sat forward and tried to look at you.

“shut up. no i’m not.” you sniffled, turning away fully.

“why do you cry?” he asked, placing his hand on the back of your neck. a shiver ran through you as he brushed your kuru.

why were you crying? truthfully, there were too many reasons. wiping you eyes, you turned to face him. it mattered no longer that you were stark naked in front of him. it mattered not that he was just as bare. when you looked at him, you did your best to look into him.

you looked at him.

tsu’tey recoiled the smallest bit.

“pandora has given me job after job. avatar driver. laboratory help. bunk-room maid. but you’re saying that if i past two tests…i get to live here?”

“i can have a life here?” you asked in a voice too soft.

tsu’tey seemed to soften at your words. he could see you just as you saw him. carefully, he swiped his thumb across your cheek. with a small nod, he awoke something vital inside your chest.

“yes,” he murmured. you’d never heard him speak so low. so soft. so sweet. “but they are no easy tests. you may die during each one. at the end, you will be one of the people. reborn as one of us.”

“if you claim an ikran and prove that you are navi and not just something that wears our skin, i will ask for grace’s return to home tree.”

you wanted to kiss him.

you wanted to kiss him until your lips bruised— and you had to fight tooth and nail not to.

“when can i claim an ikran?” you asked.

tsu’tey chuckled as he looked you up and down. “once i think you are ready.”

hope you all enjoyed <3 sorry for slow updates btw. i only get the chance to write before bed and i usually fall asleep, so it takes a couple days. thanks for reading! xxx

pairing: tsu’tey and human!avatar driver (fem presenting)

content warnings: graphic language, violence, alien vs human differences, awkward friendship?, tension, angst, vulgarity. (also, i don’t like to capitalize sentences on tumbler :3)

word count: …idk :D

pov: 2nd person so you can add yourself in. for writing/plot purposes, your character is named eris ramsey. i’ll use the name sparingly but i can’t take myself seriously writing y/n— so please just work with me here. i promise it’ll be worth it. (i hope)

< previous chapter

———🌌———

SUMMARY: earth was dying and your sister was, too, but cancer killed her faster than humans were killing earth. when she passed, she not only left behind an empty apartment full of memories but a billion dollar avatar without a driver. in a desperate attempt to not waste that money, the program she had spent the last five years preparing to join recruited you— her twin. of course, you agreed. there was nothing left on earth for you. there was nothing left on earth for anyone— that’s why people like your sister were sent off to pandora.

when your sister had spoken of pandora, it seemed like a dream.

the RDA promised it would be like a safari adventure.

truth was that pandora is beautiful. beautiful and unlike anything else across the whole of the universe. it is breathtaking— and that’s because what chases you through the forest hunts with the intent to kill; so you best run like hell even if your lungs are on fire. beasts and monsters of all kinds lurk out of sight waiting for the right moment to kill you dead— but none are as dangerous as him.

the blue shadow with the bow.

chapter two

— cowboy —

you should have linked to your avatar body sooner. the morning had nearly passed by the time you opened your eyes and stirred in your hammock. when you rose, he was waiting.

he had been waiting.

for hours.

anger made him look volatile. his tail flicked behind him as he watched you climb out from your hammock. you nearly tripped over your own feet trying to rub the daze of shifting into this larger, still-stiff body from your eyes.

“i’m sorry…” you said as you approached. you dipped your head and signed, ‘i see you’ to him. when his demeanor did not change, you swallowed around the lump in your throat. “really, i’m sorry. i don’t have much control over when i can and can’t be connected to my body.”

tsu’tey flicked his head and you knew to start marching.

he was kind enough to have saved you breakfast. dried fruits and nuts. you picked at them within the pouch he stored them in as you walked through the forest together. you offered him some as an attempt at making peace. to your surprise, he took a handful and poured them into his mouth. it was silent as you walked.

well, not for very long.

you had a bad habit of blabbering when tension arose— and you could feel the negativity radiating off him like the old story of chernobyl you knew about.

“how long have you been up for?” you asked, shooting a glance his way.

tsu’tey popped more pieces of dried fruit into his mouth and grunted. “sunrise.”

guilt made your stomach hurt.

“i really am sorry. i hope you understand that there is a strict schedule i follow. if i don’t, i risk killing myself. water? food? sleep? it’s all stuff my real body needs, too.” you said.

“i am not angry you are late, skxawng. i care not for what you do. im angry my day revolves around you. why i must be the one to teach you is not something i am happy with. i have other tasks i would rather see to. hunting. training warriors who are soon to pass their iknimaya.” tsu’tey said gruffly, not bothering to look at you.

your expression soured and you scowled at him. “you can teach me to be a warrior, too.”

“ha,” tsu’tey laughed. a real laugh. it lit up his face and made his ears perk up. he looked at you and shook his head. “you really are a skxawng.”

“eywa may have given me a sign not to shoot you down with my bow but it changes nothing. i see what you truly are, demon, even with all your practiced knowledge.”

“you are not real.”

you could only stare at him. your throat went dry. your heart shuddered in your chest. your voice was no where to be found— but what could ever be said to that?

nothing. because he was right.

“then why bother with all this?”

tsu’tey turned, stopping dead in his tracks. his tail flicked. “what?”

“why did you save me from the nantang?” you asked outright. you swallowed the fruit you had in your mouth with trouble and tried to keep your chin up. “if you know what i am, why bother saving me? you could’ve let me get torn apart. it wouldn’t have been you who killed me. no blame on you. why did you save me?”

tsu’tey let his shoulders drop. when he met your eyes, he looked at you. into you.

“eywa did not want you dead,” he said. his voice was too soft. he sounded like an entirely different person. a hopeless believer. “the atokirina landed on my arrowhead before it floated down to you. it kept me from firing that shot. it was a sign. you were to live.”

“when it floated around you, i knew what the great mother expected of me when the nantang attacked you.” tsu’tey said as he approached.

you stiffened as he stood in front of you. you had to tilt your head back to see him clearly. “and what…what is it that she expected?”

you winced when he grabbed your hand even though it didn’t hurt. not in the slightest. he touched your extra finger. he fought a scowl, his face twitching. he looked into your eyes and — for a second time — he was staring into you.

“i am to protect you…” tsu’tey muttered. he almost rolled his eyes as a heavy sigh escaped him. “it has been decided by eywa and by the tsahik. eywa is greater than my feelings. the great mother is greater than our differences. demon or not, you have been chosen for something and it is my job to make sure you don’t kill yourself, skxawng.”

“i— i’ve been chosen for something? what?” you asked, grasping his hand. you needed answers. you needed to know all that he knew.

tsu’tey pulled his hand from yours and shook it at his side as if it burned. his scowl returned with vengeance. it twisted his face in a way that was all too familiar. you almost preferred his scowl. you expected his harshness. you had no idea what to make of his gentler voice and softened features.

“i do not know.” tsu’tey said. his voice was tight in his throat. his tail flicked behind him. “i am not capable of interpreting eywa’s will. i am only a warrior.”

“and i can make you one, too, if that is what you wish to be.”

you looked up at him. your ears and tail betrayed you. your tail wouldn’t stay still and your ears stood at attention. excitement tickled your belly.

“really?” you asked, almost bracing yourself for a sudden change in his heart.

tsu’tey grunted and looked away. “it serves as a better use of my time teach you how to fight and hunt rather than help you string beads and teach you how to sing.”

“and if i choose to be a singer?” you asked, raising one of your eyebrows.

“then there are many songs for you to learn, demon,” tsu’tey said with a shake of his head. “but you will learn to ride pa’li. that is essential.”

if he hadn’t tried it so intently then maybe you would’ve missed it. perhaps more subconsciously to him, he tried to raise only one of his hairless eyebrows. it had you biting your lip as to not smile.

you nodded once, placing your hands on your hips. “let’s get started then.”

he took you to the riverbank. the sun was warm. insects buzzed by your head and skimmed across the surface of the water. fish leapt out from the river to catch them. direhorses ate the sweet vegetation that grew by the waterside.

“damn,” you whispered as tsu’tey guided one of the massive direhorses towards you. you took a step back as it stomped one of its feet when he tugged it to halt. “no saddle?”

“you have legs.” he said with a glance towards your thighs. “you will use them to hold on.”

“i don’t know if you know this, buddy, but this body has only ever been in use like four times now. i’m going to fall off.” you said.

“then you get back on.” tsu’tey said with a single flick of his head toward the direhorse.

you swallowed a bit of your pride as he grunted for you to get a move on. you had to raise your arm up high to reach its back. the leather of its skin was tough. it was a tall, powerful creature you knew would buck you off within a second.

“now, demon.” tsu’tey hissed.

“alright, alright…” you cringed a bit and tried your best to steel your spine. with you best foot forward, you tried to swing yourself up.

“bad try.” tsu’tey shook his head and nudged you out of the way. “watch how i do.”

he wrapped his arm around the tendril that hung down by the direhorses neck. with a quickness you wouldn’t be able to replicate anytime soon, he swung himself up onto the direhorses back.

you rolled your eyes. “you should’ve told me to grab that from the beginning.”

“again.” tsu’tey said as he slid down off the direhorses back. he ignored your comment. “this time, do like i did.”

you exhaled a sharp, fast breath. annoyance pinned your ears back. reaching up, you hooked an arm around one of the tendrils just as he had. with all the strength you could, you tried to pull yourself up.

that just pissed off the direhorse and it stomped it’s feet, huffing and snorting.

“you need to swing.” tsu’tey said. he tapped his stomach. “strong belly and swing your legs up. do not use your arms to pull until your belly is tight and you’ve swung your legs.”

“watch.” he nudged you out of the way.

this time, you really watched his form. you watched the way he grasped the tether as a stationary point but swung himself up. he had taken two steps to build momentum. two steps, swing up, mount.

easy enough, yeah?

“momentum. momentum.” you muttered yourself as you grasped the direhorses tether again.

you took a breath and felt it. your core tightened as you geared up to take those steps and swing yourself up. step, step, swing— except you choked. when your leg didn’t quite get up over the side, you bailed entirely and nearly fell flat on your face.

he grabbed your arm and kept you steady.

your ears fell flat as you met his eyes. you could see the scowl threaten to curl on his lips. you braced yourself for harsh words and hisses.

“better.” he said.

your ears perked up.

“swinging yourself with great force is the only way to mount pa’li. you must take larger steps to make that swing.” tsu’tey said.

you nodded. “yeah, i need more momentum.”

“momen…what?” he narrowed his eyes and titled his head.

“momentum,” you said again, clearer this time. you demonstrated the swing you needed to do with your hands. “momentum. the swing. you get it?”

“momentum.” tsu’tey said, watching your lips as your mouth formed the word. his accent was so thick it seemed to get in the way of his tongue. “yes, it is that. you just make more momentum.”

“but how? i mean, i tried doing the same amount of steps as you but it’s the height that’s throwing me off.” you said, looking up at the direhorse.

“pa’li is tall but you are tall, too. try to step, jump, swing.” tsu’tey said. he crossed his arms against his chest and watched.

you shook out the tension in your shoulders. step, jump, swing. his brows pinched together as he watched you take a few steps back. you gave yourself a running start and jumped, pushing yourself up with your arms.

his hands curled around your waist and he pulled you off before you could swing yourself on.

“hey!” you exclaimed, struggling in his grasp.

“wrong.” he placed you down and turned you toward him. “in order to ride, you must make tsaheylu. a bond. in order to make that bond, you must hold the tether. first step, you must hold the tether.”

“jumping on pa’li like that is a waste of time. it is not faster. bad habit. break it. do not do it again.” he instructed.

“alright, alright…” you said softly, holding up your hands.

“strong belly, demon.” he reminded you.

“yeah, i got it. thanks.”

you huffed under your breath as you wrapped your arm around the tether. standing back nearer towards its face, you would be able to run and swing yourself up— and that’s exactly what you tried to do. you ran, kept your core tight, swung your leg up, and mounted the direhorse.

“hey!” you gasped, pupils blown wide as you look down at him. “i did it!”

he was fighting a grin whilst stood at your side. patting the direhorses neck, he kept the beast calm. he looked up at you and nodded once. you could see in his eyes what he did not say.

well done, demon.

“again.” tsu’tey said, pulling you off the direhorse.

“woah!” you hooked your arms around his neck and fell into his arms. as he set you on your feet, you looked up at him. “you are so handsy.”

“i don’t know what that means.” he said as he let you go. his lip curled and he stared down his nose at you.

he thought you were insulting him.

“handsy. y’know, touchy.” you said. for show, you glided your hand along his chest and gripped his bicep in the other. “you touch me a lot.”

tsu’tey huffed and nudged your hands away. “if i don’t touch, you will hurt yourself. i’m making sure you do not injure yourself, skxawng.”

“skxawng. you keep calling me that. what does it mean?” you asked with annoyance lacing your voice. judging by the way he called you demon, you knew it couldn’t be good.

“means you are slow.” tsu’tey said. he flicked your forehead. “in here, you are slow.”

your eyes widened and your mouth popped open. “you’re calling me a moron!”

tsu’tey bared his teeth in a sharp smile. “you act like one.”

“you are such a jackass.” you huffed under your breath.

ignoring the way he chuckled, you once again tried to mount the direhorse. you didn’t keep your core tight enough. you stumble and it bumped you with its hip. the poor thing must’ve been annoyed with you by this point. you were annoyed with yourself— annoyed with him most of all.

on the second try, you swung yourself up onto the direhorses back. tsu’tey came to your side. he nodded at you as you met his eyes. you’d gotten the hang of it. with more practice you’d be able to do it with ease.

“now it is time for you to make tsaheylu.” he said.

tsaheylu. the bond. you knew of it. you’d read about it in grace augustine’s book before they shipped you out to pandora. it was how all living things on pandora connected to one and other. it is how all living things connected to eywa.

“take your kuru and make tsaheylu.” tsu’tey said, guiding the direhorses tether up toward you.

you reached behind your head and pulled your braid over your shoulder. queue. kuru. so many names for it. but there was only one name for the bond you were about to make.

the white spindles twisted and extended at the end of your braid. so did the direhorses at the end of its tether-like queue. as you guided your kuru forward, pinkish-white spindles linked and overlapped as you made tsaheylu.

your pupils blew and your body went rigid. you could hear mighty breath and a strong beating heart. you could feel legs that were not your own.

tsu’tey placed his hand on your thigh. you looked down at him, unaware that you were panting. he nodded once. calm. collected.

“breathe,” tsu’tey said lowly. he ran his hand across your thigh, up your waist, to your belly. “deep. slow. feel her breath and match it.”

you closed your eyes and focused on the way the direhorse inhaled and exhaled. it was much harder to do when his hand was on your belly.

his hand was warm…

in and out.

you focused on that and that alone.

breathing in deep and letting it all out.

“feel her strong legs.” tsu’tey said.

those you could feel without having to try. as she stepped back and forth, you could feel the power within them. fast. faster than horses on earth ever could’ve been. this direhorse had more legs than them. a larger set of lungs. a larger heart.

“when you are ready, think ‘run.’” tsu’tey said as he stepped back.

“run?” you repeated.

the direhorse ran— and you fell straight into the mud.

a soft groan escaped you. the whole left side of your face was mud caked. his shadow blocked out the sun and you heard him sigh.

“a mistake every first rider makes.” tsu’tey said as you pushed yourself up. “you will try again. this time, you will hold on.”

“thanks for the advice.” you huffed, hitting him with your muddy shoulder as you walked by.

mounting the direhorse became easier each time you did it— and you did it over and over again because you could not stay on the creatures back for long. you fell into the mud each and every time you willed the direhorse to run.

tsu’tey brought you to the riverbed not only because it is where the direhorses liked to graze but because the mud cushioned your falls.

“you are not holding on.” tsu’tey said as he pulled you up from the mud.

“i am!” you exclaimed. your frustration was reaching its boiling point and you pulled your arm from his grasp. “how much tighter do i have to grip the damn tethers it has?”

“you are not holding on here.” tsu’tey said, smacking your thigh.

you scowled at him and swatted at his hand. “don’t.”

“you must squeeze your legs, skxawng.” tsu’tey said with a shake of his head. “you cannot stay in place on the back of pa’li if you do not squeeze your thighs.”

“fine. fine.” you huffed and turned away. “i get it. tight core. squeeze my legs.”

“try.”

you looked back at him as he grabbed your waist. your eyes widened as he tugged you towards him. your jaw dropped as he wedged his leg in between your thighs.

“what the fuck are you doing?!” you cursed at him, pushing your arm into his chest.

“squeeze.” tsu’tey commanded.

you laughed in his face. “oh, you’re funny.”

“do as i say, skxawng.”

you had to grit your teeth. chest to chest with him, you had little options. everything he had instructed you to do so far and every correction he made had not led you astray. it bruised your pride to do as you were told.

you squeezed your thighs together, squishing his thigh between your legs. you looked anywhere but at him. he did the same as his hands framed your waist. he rocked his leg from side to side.

“pa’li are fast and they are strong. you must be strong, too, to ride. your legs will tire but falling hurts more.” tsu’tey said softly. he looked down between you both. “you must squeeze harder. i am able to move my leg back and forth without you. squeeze until you are moving as i move.”

looking down, you squeezed your thighs together tighter. you had to grit your teeth. as he moved his leg side to side, yours were glued to him. squeezing his thigh, you moved as he moved. when he dipped to the left, you had no choice but to follow. when he tried to move his thigh upward, the tension in your legs gave the right amount of resistance so that he could not throw you off.

“do you see now?” tsu’tey asked as he met your eyes. he tried to buck his thigh again and could not. not with you squeezing him so tight. “tsaheylu makes you one with pa’li in the mind. you must make yourself one with pa’li like this. strong core. strong legs. strong hips.”

“i get it,” you said softly, ignoring the burn in your face and the tickle in your belly that came with being so close to him.

tsu’tey tapped your thigh and you let him go. he took a step back and flicked his head. “try again. don’t fall this time, demon.”

you dipped your head.

mounting the direhorse, you were quick to make the bond. feel her breath. feel her heart. feel her legs. you wrapped the tethers around your arms and kept a firm grip. at the same time, you squeezed your legs tight around the direhorses sides.

“run,” you thought.

and the direhorse heard you.

with legs that sounded like thunder as they hit the ground, the direhorse ran. you kept your grip tight and your thighs clenched even tighter. gritting your teeth, you held on as the wind whipped across your face. the direhorse ran a lap around the riverbed as it had been trained to do— and you only fell off at the end when you simply could not hold on any longer.

you spit out the mud that had gotten in your mouth. pushing yourself up, you saw him grinning. a soft sigh escaped you. such sweet relief it was to see something other than a scowl after giving it the best shot you had all day.

“we are finished for today.” tsu’tey said as you neared. he picked a twig out of your hair. “you did better than i thought you would. tomorrow it will be easier. clean yourself up in the river.”

the cold river water embraced you like a lover and soothed the ache in your muscles. it washed away the mud caked onto your skin and the sweat that beaded on your hairline and dripped down your back.

you could feel his gaze linger on you as you washed.

and you ignored the way it made you feel.

— 🌌 —

the next day was by no means easier.

nor way the day after that.

or the day after that.

bruises made your blue skin purple. they littered your thighs. your arms. your back. you took the falls like a champ when they happened, but crawling in and out of your hammock each day could not be done without a groan.

until it did get easier.

you could mount your direhorse with ease. mitsia was her name. each time you made tsaheylu, the more your bond deepened. she grew accustomed to you. she did not jostle as much. she did not run so recklessly. she would greet you each morning with a bump of her nose.

you could ride longer and longer each day— and one day you stopped falling all together. leaving the riverbank behind, you rode with tsu’tey through the forest. learning to hold on as mitsia leapt over fallen logs was not as difficult as you imagined it would be. keeping your core tight and your legs secure, you moved as she moved. it became second nature.

it became second nature, too, to compete with tsu’tey as you mastered the art of riding.

“c’mon, cowboy! you’re eating my dust!” you laughed over your shoulder as the two of you raced back to home tree.

he smirked.

racing through the forest, you stole glances at each other as the direhorses below you ran. mitsia and karuk — tsu’tey’s pa’li — had grown accustomed to each other, too. like their riders, they competed to get home first. mitsia’s heart pounded and her breath came hard as fast as she tried to out run karuk.

the male direhorse was older and his legs were longer. when tsu’tey crouched and tucked himself downward to be more aerodynamic, the race was already won.

“i will beat you tomorrow, jackass.” you said as you swung yourself off mitsia. you gave her a gentle pat before joining beside tsu’tey.

“no, not tomorrow. we are finished training with pa’li. you have mastered riding.” tsu’tey said with a glance your way. as you walked inside home tree, the smell of pandoran barbecue made your stomach grumble.

“what’s next then?” you asked.

“you have yet to decide if being a hunter is what you want. tomorrow, you rest and decide.” tsu’tey said.

you watched as he departed. instead of heading up the center column, he made his way towards the olo’eyktan. he bowed his head and signed ‘i see you’ before sitting down beside him. you knew what they were discussing. each day, tsu’tey gave a report about how you were fairing to the olo’eyktan.

you cleaned yourself up before dinner. re-doing some of the braids in your hair, you thought about what tsu’tey had said.

you had yet to decide on what you truly want to be.

you knew you didn’t want to be a singer. you didn’t have the confidence it took to preform. you enjoyed riding and you enjoyed being in the forest, but you didn’t know if you had what it took to be a powerful hunter.

on earth, you hadn’t done more than wait on costumers and clean up messes that they left behind. hunters didn’t scrape gum off the undersides of tables or have to clean matted grease off deep fryers. they were masters with a bow and quick with a knife.

each day that you went to bed and woke up back in the link-pod, you felt less and less uncertain.

uncertain about what you wanted.

uncertain about who you were.

surrounded by scientists, you were not as smart as them. you could help grace log her findings but you couldn’t offer anything more than clicking buttons on the computer. you weren’t fluent in navi like norm. you weren’t as physically capable as jake was when he was in his avatar body.

jake was military.

norm was a scholar.

grace was a scientist.

you were just the replacement for a dead genius.

a blank slate.

that thought stuck with you like a nagging itch as you climbed the center column of home tree and made your way to your usual eating spot. the more you tried to ignore it, the worse it became.

you were a blank slate in a world ripe with opportunity and that had to mean something.

you had few skills.

that meant you could learn hundreds of new ones.

you had poor navi.

that gave you room to improve with those who spoke it fluently and hadn’t learned it out of a book.

you had no muscle.

that meant you could only grow stronger.

in a program full of bright minds and strong spirits, only one of you sat in home tree— and only one of you had been chosen by eywa.

it had not been grace.

It had not been norm.

it had not been jake.

it had been you. you had a purpose on pandora. a purpose that surpassed what you knew about tree roots or how many pull-ups you could do.

if you wanted to be a hunter— you would learn.

and he would each you how. just like he taught you to ride a direhorse in nine days.

“what is it that you had called me today, demon?” tsu’tey asked as he sat across from you. “when we raced through the forest.”

you couldn’t help but smile. “a cowboy.”

“cowboy…” he picked up a bug from the pile on his leaf and cracked the shell with his teeth. he pulled out the soft meaty inside and ate it. “what does that mean? cowboy.”

“a cowboy is a man who rides a horse and deals with herding animals. they wear hats and boots. on earth, cowboys were seen most in the western part of america.” you said as you picked at the food. you hadn’t gotten used to bugs yet. it was their many, many legs that creeped you out.

when he didn’t respond right away, you looked up. it was clear to see that most — if not all — of what you said had been lost to his ears. again, you smiled.

“on earth, cowboys rode pa’li. they were like hunters, except they kept the animals close together in herds. in a big group that they would move from place to place.” you said, choosing your words more carefully.

“they were also like warriors, too. the word is vigilante. it means that they took the law into their own hands and punished those who broke it.”

“is there no olo’eyktan to answer to?” tsu’tey asked, his invisible brows knitting together.

“no,” you said with a small laugh. carefully, you bit into a bug and chewed. it didn’t taste bad. it was good. smoky in flavor— but the legs still gave you the heebie-jeebies. “on earth, instead of clans there are countries. millions and millions of people live in a single country alone. and there are hundreds of countries.”

“millions of people…” tsu’tey looked around the crowded dinner place and then back at you. “and that is more than navi here in home tree?”

“so many more. unimaginable.” you said with a shake of your head. you popped the shell of another bug and tried to explain it as easy to understand as you could. “let’s use you as an example. you know everyone in your clan, yes?”

“yes.” he nodded.

“right. in a country on earth, you’d never be able to meet every person who lives in that country. there are too many people. it would be like if all the clans from sea to sea across the land we’re on now were one clan.” you tried to explain.

to your delight, he seemed to understand. his eyes were wider than they usually were. he let out a soft breath and shook his head, “and these cowboys…were there a lot of them?”

“in the past, yes. where i lived and in the time i lived, no. there aren’t enough animals on earth for cowboys to be useful. there are no more great plaines, either. no horses to ride. it’s all metal and machines.” you said with a small frown.

“is there no great mother on earth, too?” tsu’tey asked.

you shrugged. “if there was one then she died long before i was born.”

tsu’tey frowned. you could see the sympathy he held for you. his face was so expressive for someone so rough around the edges.

“how did you come here?” tsu’tey asked. the question was careful. it was as if he presented it to you in the palms of his hands and braced himself for rejection.

that was exactly what you gave him.

“i want to be a hunter.” you said outright. you pushed aside your leaf still full of food. you were no longer hungry. as you met his eyes, you nodded once. “i want to be a warrior like you and i want you to teach me.”

tsu’tey sat back. he narrowed his eyes at you and took in the whole of you. his eyes trailed from your head to your crossed legs. the bruises that decorated your body had yet to fade. being a hunter was a lot harder than being a direhorse rider. being a warrior was more dangerous than both.

“tomorrow you shall rest. that is decided. it is needed. the day after, i will teach you how to use a bow.” tsu’tey said.

heat rose to your face and your tail swayed wildly behind you. so wildly that you reached back to grab it. he hadn’t said no. he hadn’t laughed. he hadn’t called you a moron.

he would teach you.

he would mold you into a fierce warrior and a bountiful hunter because no student was better to teach than one who was a blank canvas.

“why do you look like that?” tsu’tey asked with a small scowl.

“huh? uh…” you were quick to let go of your tail. your ears pinned and you looked anywhere but at him. “i don’t know…i think im just surprised that you’re agreeing to let me become what you are. a warrior. a hunter. i figured you would’ve told me to start warming up my singing voice.”

tsu’tey laughed. a low, grunt-like laugh came out of his nose. as he picked apart a green-shelled bug, he smiled. “i told you once before, skxawng. if you want to be a hunter, i will make you a hunter. i don’t like singing. i would dislike you more if you had chosen to sing over shoot a bow.”

you couldn’t help but smile. “right…”

“you learn fast.” tsu’tey said without looking at you, “you are determined, too. you proved me wrong when you got back on mitsia after you kept falling off. i thought you would quit.”

“my only doubt left of you is that your body will give out on you.” he met your eyes and shook his head. “you are not true navi. it will be a very great test of your strength, demon, but if you are willing then i will teach you.”

“i am.” you said with a slow nod of your head. you looked into his eyes and kept your chin up. “i made my choice. i want to learn all that you know.”

tsu’tey seemed to savor your words. more than that, he savored the look in your eyes. he saw into you. he saw your resolve. it was as hard as steel.

on earth, you had been nothing.

on pandora, you would be exceptional.

“it is decided then.” tsu’tey said.

you smiled to yourself. you couldn’t help it. looking above, you took in as much detail of home tree as you could but there was only one picture in your mind.

his face.

over the last nine days, you had done well to keep up with him. so much so that you refused to quit even when you took a particularly bad fall off mitsia. you couldn’t let him know that it hurt. pride kept you stubborn— but the desire to see him proud burned hotter and hotter each time you tried.

tsu’tey was a good teacher. he was handsy and harsh, but he was the only person capable of teaching you. he could handle your stubbornness as well as you could handle his. while he scolded you and smacked you on the back of the head when you would do incredibly stupid and dangerous things, he was quick to congratulate and reward you, too.

not all his edges were rough.

most. but not all.

“here,” tsu’tey said. he tossed you a pouch as you climbed down into your hammock.

“what is this?” you asked.

sitting on your knees, you opened the pouch. dumping it into your hand, a palm-size carving of a direhorses fell out.

it was mitsia.

when you looked up to thank him, he was gone. the flap to his hanging hut closed as he disappeared inside.

you bit back a smile as you laid down in your hammock. holding up the carving, you admired the craftsmanship. for the last three days, you would wake to him sitting on the branch beside your hammock. he had been whittling something. wood chips would be piled beside him. he would be quick to tuck away his work and sheath his knife as you awoke.

in the morning hours you were not here, he carved as he watched you sleep without dreaming.

you kept the carving of your direhorse close to your chest as you laid back. closing you eyes, you wished to dream. in this body, you wanted to dream of thundering hooves and tsutey’s sharp smile.

the whirr of the link-pod greeted you. the hatch opened and the bright, white lights of the lab made your eyes burn. home tree at this hour was dark and quiet. the avatar lab was always busy. pushing yourself out of the pod, you rolled out the stiffness in your shoulders.

“long day again, huh?” norm turned in his chair as you passed by. he was studying slides under one of the microscopes. “what did he have you doing this time?”

“hey, no talking until after she logs.” grace said without bothering to look away from the computer she typed at. “detail the day while it’s fresh in your mind.”

“yeah, yeah…” you mumbled as you made your way over to a chair in the corner.

the blinking red light told you the tiny camera was recording you. that and the fact that you could see your face displayed on the screen as the time ticked by. you gave your name, your badge number, and the date before detailing the events of today. you hated logging. you hated sitting at that desk and recalling everything you’d done.

you hated it because it made you miss him.

the feeling was new to you. it crept up on you like a cold. each hour spent outside of your avatar had you growing sicker and sicker with the feeling.

the feeling of longing that came with wanting to be in home tree. wanting to wake up— really wake up in your hammock. being up early enough to eat breakfast with the clan.

with him.

you liked to argue with him. you could see the slight smile on your lips each time you spoke about him in your video logs. you hated that you smiled— but you couldn’t help it. apart from jake, tsu’tey was the only person you felt you had any kind of rapport with. he could be mean and calloused— but he was also the only person on this giant blue moon who spent any meaningful time with you.

jake kept you company at breakfast and dinner. he played card games with you before bed. he was easy to talk about human life to. you expressed your grief to him— as hard as it was — because he understood. he lost his brother like you had lost your sister. he, too, felt like an imposter in the avatar labs.

the bond you two shared was solid.

he could make you smile. he could make you laugh. he could make you cry. he could make you feel as though you did belong here in the RDA. he was a comforting presence that you hadn’t known you needed after the death of your sister had left a hole in your heart.

jake didn’t fill the hole— but he did a damn good job of making it hurt less.

tsu’tey was not your friend.

unlike jake, tsu’tey refused to be labeled as such— and yet he acted like one. he was a strict teacher. that much could not be denied. he worked you to the point of bruises…but at the same time, he consoled every hurt. he checked every bump. he tended to every scratch.

he may not have known you like jake knew you, but he spent the most time with you. he spent hours and hours alongside you. his days started and ended with you. teaching you. correcting you. yelling at you. bickering with you. teasing you. smiling at you.

jake knew your story.

he knew your heartache.

he knew your fears.

tsu’tey knew your hopes.

he knew your strength.

he knew your hunger for life.

in so many ways you couldn’t quite put into words, tsu’tey was the only one to know you. what you were. what you were capable of. what drove you. what focused you. what lit a fire under your ass. what strength you had in your heart.

on earth, you had been nothing. just another person on a dying planet. you had no plans because there were no plans to have. you had no money. not enough to be comfortable. not enough to find happiness. you had no family. sickness and poverty had withered them all away. with the death of your sister, you may as well have died, too.

on pandora, you had the chance to be anything you wanted to be. a warrior. a hunter. a singer. a scientist. a gardener. a solider. there were so many things you could be— yet you hardly knew who you were.

each day you got into that link-pod, it was a constant battle of which one was real.

which you was real?

you knew the version of you that could no longer exist. the girl from earth had died when her sister passed— and whoever emerged from the smog keeping you wilted was new. she was a stranger to everyone around her.

including you.

which is why you chose to be strong. if you could be anything on pandora, you would be strong. you would be brave. you would be kind.

who you chose to be was a mirror of the first person to look into your eyes and see you.

tsu’tey knew you better than anyone in this lab ever could because he watched you find yourself more and more within the forests of pandora.

you liked the sun. it felt good on your skin. you liked to swim in the river. it felt good to be weightless. you liked to ride and you liked to run. you liked to laugh. you liked to learn. you liked to try and try again when you failed.

while the avatar drivers you had been separated from on your first ground excursion worked on understanding the forest around them on a cellular, scientific level— you worked on understanding the forest on a personal level.

you scraped your knees on the forest floor. you climbed the towering trees. you formed tsaheylu with pa’li. you had been blessed by the atokirina.

grace saw the forest through the lens of a microscope while you saw the forest through his eyes.

“tsu’tey told me as we rode today that all energy is only borrowed. it is through that energy gifted by eywa that we are blessed to live long, fulfilling lives. when we die, we return that energy to her.” you said, rubbing your hand along your jaw. “i wonder if that applies to us demons…”

you smiled at the camera. “well, that’s about all. the same old same old. horses and riding. riding and horses. tsu’tey said that tomorrow is my rest day. i wonder what kind of trouble i’ll get myself into on a day like that.”

when the red light turned off, you sighed. rubbing your face, all you wanted was to go to bed but you couldn’t. you needed to eat and drink something. even though you had such recent memories of eating dinner in home tree that tricked your mind into thinking you were full— your stomach growled and gnawed at itself.

“hey, hot-shot.” you said as you sat down in the mess hall beside jake. he was already halfway done with his dinner.

“hey there, forest girl.” jake said with a grin. “you’re back pretty late again. get thrown off your horse at all today?”

“nah. i’ve got that horse-riding shit on lock down.” you said as you took a bite of your dinner. the food tasted weird. it always did. you tried your best to ignore it. “how was your day?”

“boring. all i do is stand around while grace and norm scurry around the woods together and put dirt into jars. i dunno how tommy found any of this shit interesting. i mean, pandora is awesome but the science work i see grace and norm do is like watching paint dry.” jake said with a sigh.

you laughed and frowned at him. “i wish you could come to home tree and spend a day with me and tsu’tey. i don’t think he’d like you very much, but at least it would be something for you to do. it would be like basic training but navi style.”

“i wish i could, too. im jealous that you get to spend your days running around in the woods while im stuck with the know-it-all’s. but i live vicariously through you in your stories.”

“is it fun?” jake asked. he smiled. “yknow, riding those big ass horses?”

you smiled, too. “so much fun. you’d love it. you’d be good at it. i bet you’d master it faster than me.”

jake offered to stay with you while you finished your dinner even though he’d finished first. you enjoyed his company. sitting together, you talked mindlessly about hobbies the two of you had. on earth, jake had liked to go to bars and gamble while you had liked to come home from work and rot in front of the tv. no matter what was on, you would watch it. any show. any movie. it didn’t matter what it was because all it was was an escape from the shithole you lived in and the dying world outside your window.

“excuse me, miss ramsey?”

you looked over your shoulder as your name was called. a solider dressed in camo stood with his arms behind his back.

“yeah?” you asked, raising one of your eyebrows.

“if you could follow me please, colonel quaritch wants to speak with you.”

you met jake’s eyes in time to see his brows raise. with a small flick of his head, he silently told you to get going. you got up form where you were sitting, cleared away your mess, and followed behind the solider. as you walked, you saw the corporal insignia on his uniform.

“in here.” the corporal said, pushing open a set of double doors. “sit tight. he’ll be here shortly.”

the doors shut with an eery silence as the corporal left you alone. you’d been in this room once before. on your first day at hell’s gate, you’d been brought here and given a briefing. the lights were off. only moonlight spilled in through the massive windows. slowly, you took a seat on one of the cold metal chair.

minutes ticked by in silence.

it was so silent that it was deafening. it was the kind of quiet that was loud. you could hear every little sound. your breath. muffled footsteps from the floor above. faint grumbling from machines outside.

you knew what this was.

you had seen enough old detective movies to know that you were put in a room by yourself to induce worry. worry led to overthinking. overthinking led to over-talking. over-talking made it hard to lie.

the doors swinging open made you jump.

“sorry to make you wait,” colonel miles quaritch said as he strode into the room. “the dangers on this god forsaken planet never seem to cease.”

you nodded as he approached. he turned a chair around and sat backwards on it beside you. he smelled of gun powder and alcohol. it burned your nose. the scar on his face had made you uneasy from the moment you saw him for the first time. you wonder what did it. nantang? palulukan? something worse?

“i read your file, miss ramsey.” the colonel said as he folded his hands against the back of his chair. “im sorry to hear about your sister’s passing.”

“thank you.” you said softly. too softly.

“what luck the avatar program has in seeming to recruit scientists who have twins, huh? you and corporal sully are two miracles for this place. without you two, the RDA would’ve lost more billions than they could afford to make back.”

unsure of what to say, you tried your best to smile. as the colonel looked into your eyes, you found it hard to keep that smile. there was something about him that made you feel small. his eye were empty. they were cold. you felt like a rabbit who’d caught the attention of a wolf.

“i watched a couple of your video logs. you got separated from your team and you’ve been taken in by the natives, yes?” the colonel asked.

you nodded once. “yes…”

“as head of security, it’s my job to make sure my people are safe. you’re one of my people, miss ramsey, which means that avatar body you control is, too. to be honest with you, i’d say you’re now one of the most essential people in this hell hole.”

“i have a job for you, missy. i want you to gather intel about the natives for me and record it in your video logs. find out how they operate. find out what it would take to make peace with them.”

your stomach sank.

peace was still being sought.

you were so wrapped up in day to day life in home tree that you forgot that the relationship between the navi and the RDA was unfriendly in every sense of the world.

it made you feel queasy to remember your first night in the forest. sweat pooled in your palms as you recalled seeing him for the first time. those glowing eyes. that bow half-drawn, aiming for your chest.

tsu’tey had every intention of killing you.

and he would’ve if eywa hadn’t stopped him.

the colonel leaned in and asked in a low voice, “do you think you can do that for me?”

“yes, sir.” you whispered. slowly, you nodded. the only thing you could do was nod. “of course.”

“that’s good.” the colonel said with a smile. he tapped his hands on the metal of his chair as his smile grew and grew. “that’s real good, miss ramsey. you’re going to be a great deal of help to me and you’ll be making the lives of everyone here all the safer. besides, it’ll be easier to answer to me than it is to answer to dr. augustine.”

you smiled, too. you forced your lips to show your teeth and you dipped your head. “ah, she’s not so bad…but i will say i’m more keen on tactical work than computers.”

“i like to hear that.” the colonel said. “have you given any thought to enlisting? it could benefit you a lot here in hell’s gate.”

“truthfully, no. i’m not really sure what role it is i play here and i’m not too sure if i’ll pick one at all. i’m here to fill my sisters shoes in any way that i can. right now, it seems my job is to keep learning.” you said.

the colonel seemed to roll your words between the tips of his fingers. “knowledge is power— and i need all the knowledge i can get my hands on. study the natives as close as they’ve been studying you and in time, you won’t need to fill any shoes that aren’t your own.”

“your sister may have been selected to aide dr. augustine in her studies so that she can write a second book that no one will bother to read— but you? you’ve been chosen by me to ensure the security of the men and women on this base. to me, that is far more important than what you can see under a microscope.” the colonel said.

“i understand, sir.” you said with another dip of your head. “i’ll make sure to detail my findings in my logs.”

“good.” the colonel said as he stood. “you have a good rest of your night, miss ramsey. we will be in touch.”

as he walked passed you, your heart returned to its place in your chest and not lodged up into the back of your throat. you uncurled your hands from fists and rubbed them up and down your thighs to wipe away the sweat. you felt as though you could breathe.

“oh and miss ramsey?”

“yes?” you asked, turning your head.

the colonel stopped by the door and said, “make sure not to tell any of your scientist friends about this little arrangement. grace augustine gets very unhappy knowing i’ve stuck my nose into her program.”

“sure,” you said softly. “no problem.”

the colonel left without another word.

you nearly crumbled into a pile of ashes. curling over the table, you rested your face against the cold metal. your heart was racing in your chest. it was hard to breathe around the pressure on your shoulders and the tightness in your throat.

what the hell are you doing, you idiot?

you had no answer for yourself.

covering your head with your arms, anxiety burned your belly. it put a sour taste in your mouth.

you were now on the colonels radar.

he expected information out of you. he expected answers— unlike grace who expected results.

in bed, you could hardly sleep. tossing and turning, you couldn’t lay still. it felt like there were ants in your sheets. each time you felt comfortable, tsu’tey scowl flashed in your mind.

what you were going to do was wrong.

you knew in the core of your being that spying on the clan and handing over your findings to the RDA was wrong.

but what choice did you have?

you had chosen to be a warrior— and yet you had been chosen to be a spy.

you buried your face into your pillow and tried your best to ignore the way shame made you feel.

it brought you shame to know that each time you’d log the events of the day, miles quaritch would watch your recordings and use them to his advantage. and the worst part was that you couldn’t just spew bullshit. you had been tasked with learning how they operated. learning how they functioned not just as a people but as a united force. if you didn’t make the right reports with the right kind of information, what would happen to you?

you had no idea.

you did know, though, that you’d never be allowed to touch a link-pod again.

the avatar body you’d grown to love would lay a husk until it died. you’d be ripped from the forest like a weed out of the ground. you’d never be able to feel mitsia’s heart. you’d never be able to sit in home tree and listen to the people sing.

you’d never get to see tsu’tey again.

he tolerated you because you looked like him. blue, tall, and freckled with bioluminescence, your avatar did it’s job of seeming normal enough to even the mightiest warrior. even if he’d never admit it, over the last nine days you had become familiar. he wasn’t very fond of you and he was definitely not your friend— but at the very least, you were familiar to him.

he would shoot you dead if he saw you standing before him as the alien you truly were.

that was something you couldn’t risk.

your admiration for him and your hunger to learn from him was not something you could let slip away— so you would do what the colonel asked of you.

in order to run through the forest and bicker with him, you’d do as miles quaritch asked. and you would do so carefully. cautiously. as gently as you could— because you did not want was to lose the freedom you’d been given. you didn’t want to lose the life you had just begun to lead. you didn’t want to be trapped inside metal walls and crowded by machines and pollution any longer.

and the last thing you ever wanted to do was hurt him.

eywa had given tsu’tey a sign protect you. when the atokirina landed on his bow, it had been a duty gifted to him. he protected you from the nantang— from himself. and he would continue to protect you from anything that tried to harm you.

tsu’tey had given you a purpose. when he carried you to home tree and took on the burden of becoming your teacher, he’d given you a second chance at life.

it was now your turn to protect him.

from the RDA.

from the colonel.

and maybe even from yourself.

thanks for reading :)

pairing: tsu’tey and human!avatar driver (fem presenting)

content warnings: graphic language, violence, alien vs human differences, unconventional grief, the RDA sucks, enemies to lovers. (also, i don’t like to capitalize sentences on tumbler :3)

word count: …idk :P

pov: 2nd person so you can add yourself in. for writing/plot purposes, your character is named eris ramsey. i’ll use the name sparingly but i can’t take myself seriously writing y/n— so please just work with me here. i promise it’ll be worth it. (i hope)

———🌌———

SUMMARY: earth was dying and your sister was, too, but cancer killed her faster than humans were killing earth. when she passed, she not only left behind an empty apartment full of memories but a billion dollar avatar without a driver. in a desperate attempt to not waste that money, the program she had spent the last five years preparing to join recruited you— her twin. of course, you agreed. there was nothing left on earth for you. there was nothing left on earth for anyone— that’s why people like your sister were sent off to pandora.

when your sister had spoken of pandora, it seemed like a dream.

the RDA promised it would be like a safari adventure.

truth was that pandora is beautiful. beautiful and unlike anything else across the whole of the universe. it is breathtaking— and that’s because what chases you through the forest hunts with the intent to kill; so you best run like hell even if your lungs are on fire. beasts and monsters of all kinds lurk out of sight waiting for the right moment to kill you dead— but none are as dangerous as him.

the blue shadow with the bow.

chapter one

— assholes and arrows —

it was hard to imagine that you were 4.37 light years away from earth.

what the hell even was 4.37 light years? obviously, you knew you couldn’t throw a rock and hit earth, but it was still mind boggling that it took long enough that they had frozen you whole so that you wouldn’t die in the amount of time it took you to get to where you were going. had your sister known just how far away she would’ve been had it been her in that cryo-capsule?

of course, she did.

she was the scientist who knew how far a light year was.

she was the scientist that had devoted the last years of her life to the avatar program without knowing it.

god was cruel— but people were even crueler.

at your sisters funeral, you had not expected two men-in-black characters to approach you. you had expected to leave the service with your sisters ashes in an urn but not that and a brochure of pandora and the program on it.

the program that now needed you to pick up where she left off.

were you supposed to say no? it was too late for that now. you were 4.37 light years from home. the only thing you could do was get off the aircraft and try your best to be even a teaspoon as smart as your sister.

as soon as you stepped out of the aircraft, you were a fish out of water. soldiers in massive metal suits walked the runways carrying giant guns. AMP suits, as they were called. machines the size of buildings were shot with arrows and needed repairs. the RDA extraction facility — lovingly nicknamed hell’s gate — was brutalist. the massive colony was an eyesore, churning out dark gray smoke into the pretty blue sky.

surely, the men in charge would happily rot this place into nothing, too.

it took three days to figure out your way around. around the colony. around the avatar labs. around the social hierarchy that the people living here had factioned themselves into.

it took three days to feel comfortable. to feel comfortable in your link-pod. in your avatar body. in your crew consisting of one grumpy, cigarette-dependent scientist, a goody-two shoes scholar, and an paralyzed man with a big mouth.

once grace augustine stopped bitching about how she got stuck with two dead scientist’s twins, things started to seem alright— because if there was any relief in hell’s gate, it was jake sully.

jake was the universes way of apologizing to you for all the shit you had to go through to get where you were. native language exposure, protocol training, avatar study, and a program explanation all in one month before they stuck you in a box and express shipped you to the blue moon.

it had wrecked your brain. all the studying and the work and the cramming wrecked your brain entirely. you felt like mush after they had unfroze you because you felt like mush when they had frozen you.

at least you got training, though. poor jake was picked up a week before the ship left.

the only training jake had was military. he was a marine. despite being wheelchair bound now, you his tactical skill was of value when in his avatar. he was the happiest out of the whole crew to have been gifted one of those big blue bodies. his legs worked again.

jake opened up briefly about how he got injured during his deployment years back and hadn’t done much since. in his avatar, jake could never stay still. in his real body, it was still hard to keep still. while jake could do poppa-wheelies and drift around hallway corners in his wheelchair, fire a gun with alarming accuracy, and had the mental fortitude of a nuclear war bunker— he was going into this thing virtually blind and deaf.

because poor jake had lost his twin, too.

tommy had been shot.

bang.

gone just like that. days before his big trip, too. wrong place at the wrong time is what jake had said. all tommy’s life’s work was gone just as fast as your sisters was— even though cancer killed her slowly.

in the end, it didn’t matter.

all it takes is one second to die.

all it takes is one second to make the biggest damn mistake of your life and almost get eaten alive by a leathery, nightmare-inducing, panther-looking thing on your first ground excursion.

grace had prepared you for taking samples. she taught you how to use the log device and the tablets. she went over how to input data and file in her research. what she hadn’t prepared you for was the off chance that a monster larger than a car leapt out from the bushes and chose you as it’s afternoon snack.

and that off chance chose you today like god had chosen mary.

“oh shit! oh fuck!” you gasped as you ran as fast as your feet could carry you.

it was not very fast.

avatar bodies were a work of scientific genius— but no one cared to think about how much training the body would need to be able to perform well.

a shrieking roar told you that the monster was still behind you.

that and it’s thundering paws hitting the ground as it chased after you.

this was karma.

it was karma for enjoying animal planet reruns on the shit-box tv in your apartment. you would sit on your couch with a bowl of over-done popcorn drenched in salty butter in your lap while you watched lions chase gazelles.

at least the gazelles were fast.

why the fuck weren’t you fast!

your throat burned alongside your lungs. you couldn’t breathe. your vision tunneled. your legs ached. you could hear your heart in your ears. sweat poured out of you like bullets.

“run!” grace had shouted.

jake had unloaded a whole clip firing at the panther-like beast— but the damn thing had dodged and ducked behind trees.

that’s why it chased you.

because it had seen you cowering behind a tree.

one stupid mistake.

one stupid second.

claws swiped at your backpack and it sent you toppling over. teeth dug into the pack and with one violent shake, you flew up into the air.

you hit the ground hard. all the air gasped out of you. your ears rang. but you had time. the beast tore your pack to shred and you didn’t stick around to see it realize that backpack à la carte wasn’t tasty.

“oh jesus!”

swinging your arms like a mad man, you steadied yourself at the cliffside. a raging, rushing waterfall hammered into a river below. far below.

a feral snarl sent you whipping around.

backpack was not tasty, it seemed.

the pandoran-panther leapt into a sprint.

and you leapt off the cliff.

the water below felt like a wall. croosh! bubbling, swirling rapids rushed around you. it clogged your nose and burned. you struggled to kick your feet in the current.

swimming was a luxury on earth. what water was clean enough and who had money to go to a pool? only the ultra-rich liked pools. poor people liked old tv specials like animal planet.

instinct and the sway of the current helped you surface. you gasped like a baby taking their first breath. coughing out the water in your mouth, you fought hard to stay above the water. with your arms extended, you caught hold of rocks. you used all the strength your avatar body had and you hauled yourself up onto the rock.

all you could do was breathe.

in and out. fast and deep. over and over again. in and out. in and out. all that mattered was air even when the beast above snarled and screeched at you from the cliffside.

“fuck…you…” you panted.

while you could’ve passed out from exhaustion there, you couldn’t. you forced yourself onto your feet and leapt from the rock to the riverbed. you fell face-first into the mud. it didn’t matter.

nothing mattered but staying alive.

if the avatar died, you’d be shipped to an RDA labor prison to pay back the billion dollars it costed as best you could before you died.

keep moving, you told yourself. if you moved, you lived. movement is life. an actor named brad pitt had said that in an old zombie movie your dad had once showed you.

movement is life.

that became your mantra.

it was funny. running through the forest for you life, it was just funny that with all the money the RDA pumped into mining and space travel, no one could equip the avatar drivers with GPSs?

irony.

irony and karma.

the fear didn’t kick back into you and rattle your bones until the sun began to set. you tried to find shelter as fast as you could. all you had on you was a knife and a flashlight at your hip. the panther had taken your backpack and tore through it like it was clocked into their shift working for the TSA.

the TSA used to at least give your bag back to you.

you’d be getting no such treatment because you had no such luck in a place like this.

a place like pandora.

it was gorgeous. during the day, pandora was utterly jaw-dropping. at night— you didn’t want to know.

whether it was beautiful or not, it wouldn’t matter. it was horrifying. it nearly brought tears to your eyes as you stumbled through the forest with only your flashlight to guide you.

twigs snapped in every direction. a pack of cackling creatures ran through midnight brush. insects whirred and buzzed. massive leafs rustled in the breeze.

every noise made you jump.

every noise made you grip your knife tighter.

hurrying through the dark, you made more noise than you realized. ragged breaths. rustling clothes. loud footsteps. you may as well have been calling out for any dangerous creature to come and eat you whole.

when you exhausted yourself, you finally stopped.

in a clearing between massive trees, you fought to catch your breath. while standing in the open may have been stupid, at least you could see what sprung out at you first. whether or not you could fight it off was something you would deal with if it happened. for now, you breathed.

you clicked off your flashlight and you breathed.

lowering to a crouch to rest, you kept quiet and you kept vigilant. your breath soon returned. you knew to keep calm. while the anxiety you felt now was primal, it was still just anxiety. with each breath, you focused your mind.

you needed a plan.

you couldn’t keep running in the dark. you had to find somewhere to hide until morning. a cave. up in the trees. somewhere. somewhere away from danger.

the forest was glowing.

it was only once your heart had calmed and air actually got the chance to reach your brain that you realized the forest around you was glowing.

you felt your tail flick as amazement bubbled up inside you. you turned to look at it. you forgot you that the spindly blue thing. it fascinated you almost as much as your braid did.

at its core, this whole thing amazed you.

standing in an avatar body of a navi in the bioluminescent forest of pandora was amazing. while part of you had felt guilt leaving earth— pandora was a wonder you would choose again and again.

you got to your feet and admired the way the grass lit up as you took small steps. you smiled as glowing bugs buzzed by. the more you looked around, the more their was to see. truly. with your flashlight off, the forest lit itself. wonders of all kinds became visible.

a soft laugh escaped you as something white floated around your head. it reminded you of a jellyfish. a small, luminescent jellyfish. you spun as it circled you. your tail flicked and your ears perked as the fascinating little thing seemed to interact with you.

all the fear you felt was gone— but unbeknownst to you, you were in the most danger of your life.

in the tree above you, an arrow was begging to fly free from his bow and strike you through the chest.

as the small jellyfish creature landed in your hand, the sun would’ve felt ashamed to not be as bright as your smile if it were up.

the moment lasted only a few seconds. the floating creature hovered over your hand only for a fleeting moment before it moved up and up and up into the air.

you followed it with your eyes.

your little jellyfish friend was not the only thing you saw.

you could see his gleaming, glaring yellow eyes.

you could see the massive silhouette of his body.

you could see his bow that he held half-drawn.

all the shock you felt seeing his blue shadow in the night was nothing compared to the pack of wolf-like monsters that sprang from the dark and attacked.

teeth and claws ripped at your legs. taking out your ankles first, the pack of monsters knew how to hunt. when you fell, one of the large ones leapt at you. your hands shot out to catch the ugly mutt and protect yourself anyway that you could.

an arrow shot through its head and blood splattered across your face.

a gasp escaped you as the blue shadow jumped from the tree above and sprang into action. arrows flew as fast as bullets. one. two. three dead before you could even fumble for your knife.

a knife was nothing compared to him.

he alone with his teeth bared scared off the pack of horrifying wolves.

you could hardly breathe.

in utter silence, you watched as the Navi male retrieved his arrows. he was mumbling to himself. soft hisses escaped him as he pulled each arrow free from the kills he had made.

“thank you…” you whispered. tried to. you could hardly hear your own voice.

the beads in his hair clicked as he moved. he did not look at you. he didn’t have to. the scowl on his face sent a shiver of fear racing down your spine.

like a newborn deer, you tried to stand. the pain in your legs made you wince. again, you tried to get up but the pain only worsened.

a hiss sent you rigid.

you didn’t have to look up at him. he was crouched beside you with no taste for personal space. he grabbed your legs and tore the fabric around your knees off. you opened your mouth to shout at him but his scowl shut you up.

if he was going to kill you, he would’ve.

if he was going to hurt you, he would’ve.

he was checking your injuries.

“it’s bad, huh?” you asked in a whisper, “it’s really bad, isn’t it?”

he said noting.

all he did was prod at the wounds with his large, calloused finger.

“hey!” you kicked him lightly. “that hurts!”

he grabbed you by the bend of your knee and shoved. your head hit the ground hard as you fell back. tears wet your eyes on reflex. a soft groan escaped you. anger boiled in your blood. you pushed yourself up on your elbows intent on cursing him out.

you stopped as he wrapped your wounds in the fabric he ripped off your pants.

you grit your teeth and kept quiet. it hurt like a bitch. the rough, gritty fabric was unkind to your wounds. despite his never-ending scowl, he was gentle.

“thank you…” you whispered for the second time. this time he heard you.

“do not thank.” he hissed, his voice a deep, sharp slash in the space between you. “you should not thank for this. this is not good. this is sad.”

“i— i’m sorry?” you offered, just wanting him to know that you appreciated his kindness.

he only scowled at you.

when he stood, panic rushed through you. before your mind to race to any awful thoughts about how he may abandon you now, he extended his hands.

you hesitated.

he huffed out of his nose and curled his lip.

you reached for him instantly.

“ah— fuck…” you muttered as you stood. it was an awful stinging pain. it shot up your legs as you put your weight on them.

“very painful?”

you looked up at him as he placed his hand on your waist to support some of your weight.

tall.

so, so tall. a head and a half taller than you. it almost had you tongue tied. all you could do was nod. for a stupid, dumbfounded moment, you nodded like a idiot.

by the look in his eyes, he seemed to think you were exactly that.

the male grumbled. under his breath, he seemed to curse. your brows drew together as he turned around and crouched down. you stood still. your ears pinned back and you tilted your head. his tail began to flick. sharp and fast.

you had a cat once.

cats flicked their tails like that when they grew angry.

he reached back, grabbed your arm, and gave it a harsh tug. a gasp escaped you as you bumped into his back. the realization dawned on you when he brought your hand over his shoulder to his chest.

he would carry you.

carefully, you hooked your arms around him. with a fluidity that stunned you, he rose to his feet. you weighed nothing to him. even as a massive navi avatar yourself, you weighed nothing. his hands curled around your thighs and he hoisted you up higher on his back. you clung close and kept your head tucked toward his shoulder to try and keep his arrows from smacking you in the face.

“thank you— sorry.” you cringed. “sorry. not thank you. im sorry.”

for a moment it was silent as he walked.

“you are welcome.”

something tickled your belly at his response.

your heart was sprinting without you having to run from his acknowledgment alone. your head spun as it tried to keep up with all that had happened. he had leapt from the trees and saved you with no hesitation. he had tended to your wounds. he carried you to safety.

you couldn’t pull your eyes off his face.

his features were sharp. he had a sharp jaw. he had sharp ears. his flat nose was pointed down at the end, still making it sharp. his eyes were sharp. his lips. his teeth. his voice.

everything.

he was like a dagger.

heat rose to your face as he turned his head to meet your gaze. for the first time, he did not scowl. not at first. for a moment too fleeting, he was cat-like. he seemed to look at you just as closely as you looked at him. his pupils dilated and his ears perked— but his face soon became a disgruntled scowl as you stared at him too long and he jostled you as a warning.

you looked away. “what is your name?”

“tsu’tey,” he said after a moment of debating whether or not to answer.

“tsu’tey.” you repeated. it was fun to say. it made you smile. “my name is eris.”

“okay.”

his blunt, simple reply made you laugh. his ears pinned at the sound and he turned his head to look at you. he seemed bewildered by the fact that you laughed. embarrassment made your ears ring.

“uh…so…how old are you?” you asked, trying to keep the awkward tension at bay.

“cannot answer. don’t know how to say it like you.” he said with a small shake of his head.

you bit your lip. you were going to humiliate yourself but you may as well try.

“age?” you asked in navi.

tsu’tey looked back at you. a smile curled across his lips that disarmed you entirely. “i am twenty-five.”

“twenty-five? that’s cool. i— i’m also that. twenty-five, too. we’re the same age. that’s so…cool.” you stammered, at a loss for coherent words.

his smile dropped entirely and he shifted you on his back.

you had never wanted to die more.

“you must be getting ill from their claws. fever is common. we must get to the tsahik quickly.” tsu’tey said with a single nod of his head.

of course, yes.

your state of bumbling idiocy came from wounds— not that fact that a giant blue man had saved you and now carried you to safety on his back. it was a fever that made you hot, not the way his fingers felt around your thighs or the way his skin felt like velvet under your fingertips.

maybe you were having a stroke, too.

burning toast?

no, that was just the earthy, spicy scent of him that made your mouth water.

it wasn’t until he put you down that you had any idea of where you were. there was only one place you could be. you had read about it in the prep books that had once belonged to your sister.

the tree was larger than life.

hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of feet in the air, home tree towered the way colossus of rhodes could’ve only dreamed to.

you hissed under your breath as the weight on your wounds sent sharp pain through your legs. as you looked up at him, you realized there had been softness to his sharp features this whole time.

that softness was gone.

a startled yelp escaped you as he grabbed you by the end of your braid and pushed you forward.

“ow! hey!”

his voice was lethal. “walk, demon.”

with him guiding your every move, you walked. your face burned as you entered home tree. hundreds of navi turned and gasped. they chirped, calling out to inform others there was an intruder in their home. soon, the inhabitants were all too close trying to catch a glimpse of you.

tsu’tey hissed as hands stuck out to touch you. he barked orders in navi that were lost to your ears. so much was. hundreds of voices spoke at once. the chattering was deafening— and so was the sound of your racing heart as tsu’tey brought you in front of the chief.

your mind blanked on the navi title he held — as it had blanked on every word — but you knew who the male decorated in feathers and beads was. his large bow was hooked around his back. his old, sunken face was a masterpiece of stoicism.

beside him with her tail flicking was none other than the tsahik you were here to see.

tsu’tey let you go but he did not go far. not far at all. his hand curled around the hilt of his knife. if the order was given to kill you— it would be him who snuffed the life from your lungs.

you felt like you had been dropped into the middle of the ocean. you were fighting to stay steady. the pain in your legs had you wobbling. the conversation you found yourself in the middle of was lost to you ears. you could only pick out a few words.

kill her?

a question from the chief.

no.

an answer from tsu’tey.

eywa has given a sign.

your head snapped as those words left his lips. you looked up at him, your ears perking. as he met your eyes, his ears pinned back.

you understood. how much he didn’t know, but you understood. you knew more than he imagined you could’ve.

“you are injured.”

you turned your head as the tsahik approached you.

with a slow nod, you signed ‘i see you.’

a collective gasp was one that even tsu’tey shared in.

the tsahik’s tail swayed and she looked back at the chief. he had an expression you found hard to read. without another word, the tsahik grabbed your arm and guided you along. you swallowed your whimpers as you kept up with her long stride.

these people and their grabbing…

you glanced back over your shoulder to see tsu’tey let go of his knife and kneel before his chief.

“sit.” the tsahik demanded as you entered her hut.

slowly, you sat down on one of the mats. the hut was full of herbs, oils, and hanging flowers. a small fire burned in the center of the room. around it, mats lay in a circle. a small wooden table is where she stopped. she gathered medicines and supplies.

“what attacked you?” the tsahik asked.

“uh…i— i’m not sure.” you said with a shake of your head.

“describe.”

you swallowed thickly. closing your eyes, you tried to conjure any glimpse you could remember. “they…they were like dogs. six legs. black teeth. growling and cackling like hyenas. there was a pack of them.”

how the hell would she know what a dog was let alone a hyena?

idiot.

“nantang,” the tsahik said as she turned. she kneeled in front of you and seemed to smile with her ears, as if she found this amusing. “sky people like you named them viperwolves.”

“nantang…” you repeated softly. you’d surely remember that word.

“how did tsu’tey find you?” the tsahik asked as she unwrapped the makeshift bandages from your legs.

you grit your teeth as the air stung your wounds. you tried to sit still. “i was with my group. the other avatar drivers? we were out in the forest doing research with dr. augustine. grace. do you know her?”

the tsahik nodded once. she stuck her fingers into a jar of greasy ointment and began to lather it on your wounds. a soft grunt escaped you at the sting.

“i got separated,” you said through your teeth. you focused on telling your story. it distracted you from the pain. “there was this huge fucking thing that attacked. massive. all black. had these face-flap things that look like this.”

you tried your best to mimic what it had looked like with your hands and the tsahik stared at you with wide eyes.

you dropped your hands and fought the urge to strangle yourself as embarrassment churned in your gut.

“palulukan.” the tsahik said. she wrapped your legs in leafs and tied them with long grass-line twine. “i do not know what your people have called it, but it is very dangerous.”

“yeah,” you said with a small nod. “palulu…yeah, it was that thing. it chased me. i had to jump off a waterfall and i got lost. he found me in the forest playing with um…”

“it was small,” you raised your hands to show the size of the tiny thing. you traced your palm. “it could fit here. so small. it was white. it looked…like a jellyfish.”

the tsahik stopped.

she looked at you.

with blown pupils, she looked at you.

“atokirina…” she murmured.

your brows furrowed. “ato-what-now?”

the tsahik stood suddenly. she placed her hand on your head before she left her hut. you sat in silence. your ears pinned back and your tail swayed across the woven mat.

had she just patted your head?

maybe you weren’t as doomed as you thought you were.

alone in the warm hunt, staying awake began to get hard. it smelled like heavenly incense. the stinging in your wounds disappeared into a cool clam. the fire warmed what the icy river and night air had chilled.

if it weren’t for the urgency to know this body would be safe and the hunger that rumbled in your belly, you had every intention of falling asleep. not only was the body tired but you were tired.

how you could you not be with all that had happened?

not just today.

with everything.

her face was like a bruise on your soul that you hated to see even in your mind. looking at your own face in the mirror was just as hard because it looked like hers.

would your sister have been able to survive the palulukan? would she have had the guts to jump off the cliff? how the hell had you even had the guts to do that? on earth, you worked a shit job servicing food at a drive-and-dine and spent your nights watching old tv cartoons. where the hell had all your courage come from?

looking back; though, you’d always had some courage.

your sister had none.

and she would’ve been eaten alive.

guilt burned in your stomach as that thought resonated in your mind. you pushed it away as best you could. you pushed it all away. none of it mattered now. nothing about earth and your old life mattered. there was only here and now.

just as your eyes drooped shut, the beaded curtain pulled apart. you turned your head to find not only the tsahik but tsu’tey. him and his awful scowl.

“get up, demon. you come with me. it is decided.” tsu’tey said gruffly. he reached for your arm.

“what?” you asked, shaking your head.

“eywa has given us a sign, dreamwalker.” the tsahik said as she crouched to your level. she pulled a thorn from her chest piece and stuck your arm with it. she licked off the blood and smiled. “you are to stay here where we can keep our eyes on you.”

you rubbed at the small hurt on your arm. looking between the two of them, all you could do was nod. you wouldn’t pass up their hospitality. especially not if you knew the body would be safe here.

“tsu’tey himself saw the atokirina bless you. you are his student now. he shall teach you our ways.” the tsahik said. “it is decided.”

you looked up at him.

he scowled at the fire.

how fun…

“alright,” you said as you tried to heave yourself up. your body weighed a thousand pounds and your legs ached still, but you could move a bit easier. “it is decided then…”

tsu’tey shot the tsahik an annoyed expression but she only waved her hand. he huffed under his breath and grabbed you by the arm. he tugged you out of the hut.

“hey, man, c’mon!” you said, pulling your arm from his grasp. you glared up at him. “stop pulling me around. i can walk just fine.”

he only stared down at you. his tail swayed behind him and his ears perked. you could’ve sworn that you saw his lip curl into a smirk.

he turned and walked off.

fast.

“hey!”

you nearly had to jog to keep up with him. when you caught up to his side, he was smirking. this was a punishment. what an asshole!

“you are slow.” tsu’tey said without looking at you. his voice was always so sharp. his accent was thick and it made your ears tingle. “you are weak.”

“climb.” he said, flicking his head towards the center column of home tree. a spiraling, colossal root that acted as a staircase.

you grit your teeth. you hated heights but you hated that smug look on his face even more. you began to climb. he followed behind you. he watched you like a hawk. while his cold, challenging demeanor was as rough as sandpaper— his attentiveness was so sweet it could’ve rot away all your teeth.

he grasped your waist as you slipped. steading you on your feet, he kept you in place. you looked back at him. his hairless browns seemed to raise. it was like he was saying, ‘careful, demon.’

you brushed off his hand and continued on. you had no idea how far he was expecting you to go. you refused to look down. your breath was jagged in your throat and you had never felt more tired. just as your muscles couldn’t take anymore, he tugged your arm. together, you walked along a thick branch as wide as a runway. you followed him into a hanging hut.

it was small. three baskets by one wall. a woven mat across the floor. a bed of furs. small holes in the ceiling to let strands of light in. it was cozy. it smelled of him. you liked it.

“remove those clothes.” he said as he crouched over one of the baskets. he dug through it.

you eyes widened. “excuse me?”

he looked back at you. “remove. the. clothes.” he said again. this time, as if your were an idiot.

when he stood, he held a garment made of beads and a long loincloth similar to his own. standing before him now, you realized just how much of him you could see.

he was broad. impeccably so. his long limbs were slim and his frame was slender but he had muscle. you knew he did. you felt it as he grasped you and carried you through the forest.

bands decorated his arms. a woven leather corset was snug around his ribs. it probably was meant for something tactical but to you it looked like a corset. his waist was small. his legs were long and powerful. around his neck was a collar-like necklace made of hundreds of beads.

his blue skin held the most interesting stripes. his tail was long. a lot longer than yours. it flicked impatiently. his hair was braided back, except for a few pieces with red breads hung by his face. the long braid of his queue flowed down his back. in the dim light of his hut, his freckles glowed.

“now, demon.” he demanded again, throwing the garments at you.

“turn around.” you said, jutting your chin at him.

he narrowed his eyes at you and shook his head. “what?”

“turn.” you said, gesturing the action with your finger.

he scoffed.

“have you no sense of privacy?” you asked with a scowl that seemed to amuse him.

“privacy. human word. meaningless to me.” tsu’tey spat as he passed by you. he made sure to hit you with his shoulder as he exited his hut.

“savage…” you muttered under your breath.

as you undressed yourself, you could hear him pacing outside. he must be paranoid. did he think you would stab him in the back if he turned? wouldn’t you have done that in the forest?

or maybe privacy really wasn’t a thing to him— to any of the navi. less so than humans, at the very least. they did only cover their gentiles with loincloths and breasts with beaded tops. they showed far more skin than the average human did.

dressed in such a thing now, you felt entirely out of your comfort zone. the string of the loincloth rode up your ass. you had to adjust it for it to feel comfortable. the beaded top you wore hid your perky blue nipples, but not much else. while navi breasts were small, your chest wasn’t flat. the human dna used to create the avatar gave the body extra features.

five fingers. hairy eyebrows. the queues extending out from the nape of the neck and not the top of the head. the male avatars had more muscle. they were bulkier than navi-born males. the female avatars were aerodynamic and slim like navi-born females, but their chests weren’t as flat. compared to your real body, the boobs on your avatar were nothing. but the boobs compared to the populaces normal, it was definitely something more.

as you exited his hut, tsu’tey turned. the cold, harsh scowl he wore faltered. you felt something warm tingle in your stomach as his eyes mapped the whole of you. his pupils dilated and his ears perked up as his eyes landed on your chest.

you swatted at him— or tried to.

he caught your wrist and tugged you along. you did not protest. protesting with him did you no good. that was something you learned quick.

“tomorrow, i teach you how to ride.” tsu’tey said as he led you back down the main column of home tree.

going down was much scarier than going up. you gripped his hand and stared at the back of his head the whole time. while he was tense, he did not pull his hand from yours.

“ride what?” you dared to ask. your heart was in your throat.

“pa’li.” tsu’tey said. he glanced over his shoulder. “you call them…horse.”

a horse? that should be easy enough. you used to watch old western specials as a kid. nothing too terrifying about a horse, right?

instead of walking back down to the ground level, you entered a large hollow section of the tree. hundreds of navi gathered. sitting down all together, you realized they were eating.

you could’ve cried. thank you, lord! your stomach felt hollow with hunger for the last hour.

“sit.” tsu’tey said, pushing at your shoulder.

you sat. the navi beside you seemed to shy away. you looked up at tsu’tey but he was gone. he was off to the side gathering food off a long wooden table. when he returned, he handed you the leaf piled with meats, berries and nuts without a word.

you ate in silence across from him. he sat with the tsahik and the chief— the olo’eyktan. you remembered the word. beside them, a strikingly beautiful navi woman. she ate without lifting her gaze.

as her ears pinned back, you knew she could feel you staring. you were quick to look down at your food.

it tasted better than anything you ever had before and you ate with haste. the pain in your stomach ceased and you ate your fill. it was rude not to clean your plate. you made sure to eat every last bite.

when you finished, you looked up to see tsu’tey watching. your ears perked as he flicked his head. you followed his gaze to the long table full of food. it took you a second but you realized he was asking you if you were still hungry.

meeting his gaze, you shook your head no.

he nodded once.

the clan ate all together— and they slept at the same time, too. filing up through the main column, people separated into their designated beds. hundreds of hanging hammocks and nests filled the space between the internal branches. single navi slept alone. pairs slept with each other. families shared nest-like hammocks.

“come,” tsu’tey said, guiding you onward.

as you followed him, you couldn’t help but feel a pair of eyes deadlocked onto the back of your head. looking over your shoulder, you saw her again. the female navi. she climbed down into her own hanging hut and disappeared. when she was gone, that’s when you remembered tsu’tey was an impatient jackass who would yank your arm if you didn’t pay attention.

he nearly did but you reacted just in time.

“what’s her name?” you asked. you flicked your head in the direction of her but.

tsu’tey followed your gaze. his shoulders stiffened and his lips twitched. not a smile. a frown. “that is neytiri. daughter of olo’eyktan and tsahik.”

“this is yours.” he said with a lazy point towards a hanging hammock. it was nearby his hut. a branch below. “you sleep now. tomorrow is going to be long.”

“aye-aye, captain.” you said with a salute.

tsu’tey narrowed his eyes as a puzzled expression took over his face. you swallowed hard. slowly, you signed to him.

‘i see you’.

he only huffed out a small goodbye. you watched as he climbed his way to his own hut. he did not look back at you. he disappeared inside and the flap shut.

you sighed and carefully slipped your way into your hammock. it was comfier than you thought it would be. warmer, too. the warm air and soft breeze made it easy to feel drowsy as you laid down. the gentle sway of the hammock made your eyes heavy.

it felt like you had fallen asleep. black muddled behind your eyelids before bright, tunneling white.

all you could see was white.

there was a loud, incessant ringing in your ears.

“c’mon, kid, wake up.”

the white blinding light began to morph into shapes. into colors. into people. a ginger haired scientist. she moved her flashlight in and out of your face, patting your cheek.

“hey,” grace said, her voice coming in clear. “snap out of it.”

sense rushed back into your brain as she snapped her fingers beside your ear. your eyes widened and a gasped cleaved it’s way out of your chest. the whirr of the machine purred in your ear. the bright lights of the room were harsh after the gentle luminance of the pandoran forest.

“are you okay?” grace asked, pushing your hair behind your ears. it was the kindest she’d ever been. “how are you feeling? is the avatar safe?”

“i— i am. i’m good…” you said. your voice was hardly a whisper. your breath came hard and fast. even then, a smile curled onto your lips. “doc, you’re gonna do backflips when you find out where i am.”

[thanks for reading :3 this is a lot of fun to write and i have a lot planned <3 tsu’tey is an underappreciated king and a slow burn romance fic is exactly what the world needs i fear :) see ya next chapter! —moony]