Blue tulips

Leads me somewhere else.

I step over the line.

You came forward as well.

Was it only me?

Or you were there too?

Was I only in your wallet?

Or in your heart as well?

I roam around the streets

near your house

just to see you.

Desperation maybe.

Or maybe love.

I still wonder

Was it only me?

But I can't have it.

I write poetry on love

But I can't feel it.

What an irony..

What an irony of the world

Who complaints

Yet holds me back

What an irony of the world

Who praise the freedom fighters

Just like moth searches for light,

I search for metaphors.

The metaphors that are hidden beneath me.

The metaphors other people refused to see.

The metaphors that changed the real me.

And just like the moth

I refused to change my direction

and walk on the path of destruction.

The flame might burn me,

I'm not scared of it.

I'm scared of being alive

I can draw everything.

But you are an exception.

Your eyes that hypnotize me.

Your stupid smile makes me smile.

Your beauty that makes me breathless.

My hands refused to move.

Brush hesitate.

I’m always crying in dream.

Because I’m worried,

I might lose the things I have.

I never lost someone dear.

But somehow I know it’s pain.

Carrying them in my arms.

And my hands are drenched in blood.

Begging for mercy from god.

It’s like hurting so much that death surrounded me.

When spring comes,

Let’s be together.

And watch flowers bloom.

When summer comes.

Let’s go to amusement park.

And experience childhood again.

When autumn comes.

Let’s sit together.

And watch leaves fall.

When winter comes.

Let’s cuddle each other

under the blanket and watch movies.

And when bad times come.

Let’s be together.

and lean on each other.

Console each other.

So when spring comes.

We can be together.

A person in my heart, never let anyone else live there.

It has been years being apart,

Yet I can't forget him.

Thick eyebrows and wavy hair,

I remember it all.

Those almond-shaped eyes,

That had the depth of sea.

Innocent so much,

that even puppy feel sly.

Even pink sky isn't worth,

when he is in front of me.

The way he smile,

Brighten my day like sunrise.

The way he talk,

my bright and curious eyes follow him.

Even stars are less bright, than the tears from his eyes.

My eyes follow his tears,

And I end up crying too.

The chocolate he gave me,

It's sweetness still lingers in my heart.

The things I couldn't say,

My heart is telling me.

The love I couldn't see

No, you're not.

What??

The winter is long gone .

So is you.

The glimpse of you still reflects in the mirror.

So do your habits in my room.

The books you used to buy haven’t disappeared yet.

The warm coffee you used to give me still stays with me.

I’m doing what you used to do.

Not throwing wet towel on the bed.

Wiping bathroom after use.

Cleaning my room everyday.

I think I’m becoming a mirror

I wanna be so rich

that in my grief

I could cry in someone’s arms

And in their pain

embrace them as well.

When scared,

hold their hand

And pretend I’m not afraid

When happy,

play songs and dance.

When angry,

laugh on their bad jokes.

And when they get angry,

buy them icecream.

I wanna be so rich

that I have so much love to express.

And if I bleed on bad days,

I tried to fix the things but

it was out of control.

Someone's heart drown deep in water.

and I was just a broken bridge.

He was lying in the pool of blood,

the thing I could never forget.

The person I only knew for days,

I waited years for him.

Everyone says I’m a hero

but I’m just lonely.

How do I tell her that the people who think that longing is beautiful are really weird.

They don’t like a person.

My eyes were looking for you everywhere.

Where intentionally accidentally I could see you once again.

People can call me stupid, but at least I know what I want.