this used to be for poetry @blue-echinacea - Tumblr Blog

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weltenwellen

Joy Sullivan, from “Culpable”, Instructions for Traveling West

#ugh this is my whole life right now.

theblob1958

people are saying do it scared, but you also gotta do it alone. you'll miss out on so much you want to do if you wait til someone will do it with you. do it scared and do it alone.

the older I get the more I look like my mother

am I becoming my mother

is that as scary as I once thought it was

#miss you mommy wish you didn’t leave #not poetry #2024

once again I am experiencing a pain that brings me to speechlessness and I cannot write about the pain

#this time it’s really my fault #I always thought it was my fault when he would hurt me #but now that I’ve actually done something wrong I can see that all the times before I was being unfairly treated #not poetry #2024

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blue-echinacea

emotionally I feel like the stink spirit from spirited away

you are ugly when you cry. you will never stop being ugly when you cry.

#notes to myself #you’ve cried so much your bangs are plastered to your face and now he can see your giant forehead #how will that get the man to love you #not poetry #2024

emotionalwords

There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad.

George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four

every day i fight the urge to go feral and start chewing on people

#womanhood #not poetry #2023 #borderline #bpd #personality disorder

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ashstfu

having so much love in your heart is beautiful and amazing right up until you’re alone in your bedroom clutching at your chest and whimpering like a wounded dog

if i know i’m stupid why does it hurt so much when people say it?

because on some level i still have hope that it’s not true. i know it’s true. but my ego hangs on still, wounded when i’m reminded of the truth

fakehistory

I’m in this weird phase where a lot of the things that troubled me have been resolved and outwardly life is “good” right now for what I wanted. but I’m not sure I can get past the ache.

It’s easier to function daily than it was before and I even have some hope for the future, but it’s like there’s a massive pit behind me, and instead of the light shining into it, the darkness is creeping out. it floats around my heels caressing me.

Nothing is really “wrong” right now. But I don’t know if I can ever get over what happened.

#not poetry #2023 #depression

glowcowboy

i want to be a sweet and friendly girl but there’s all this anxiety. and the horrors

iremluna

and rage

glowcowboy

yeah and also the rage

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fatecanberewritten

“Increase of knowledge only discovered me more clearly what a wretched outcast I was.”

— Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

i got sick for five days and all of a sudden summer is over

#i came back to work and fall has been thrust upon me #I suppose I’m ready #I’m just scared for life to go on

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this used to be for poetry