I suppose this will have to do for an introduction, as I've had this tumblr for a while now but, like everything else, I'm fashionably late to actually using this app.
Hello! My name is Bluberrytau, and I'm the author of Kintsugi (Undertale); You deserve to be happy (Ace Attorney); Oathbreaker (Hazbin Hotel); and now, Studio Syzygy, Broken Places, and Secrets and Sin (South Park) on ao3, under the same name.
Feel free to send me any asks about the fics I'm writing! :-)
Currently 25 (they/she, panromantic ace). I live in GMT+8 while speaking English, Chinese and its dialects, and a bit of Japanese. I studied biomedical science + psychology.
I tend towards x reader fanfictions, as I enjoy the creativity and novelty of cool original characters interacting with the characters I get hyperfixated on. As for writing, I like doing it because it makes me feel like a DM guiding my reader through a story or adventure!
Other than engaging with fandoms and visual/written media, I spend the rest of my free time playing games, watching musicals or drawing, idk. DnD too!
I often describe myself as a fan first, writer second - and have read a bunch of stuff from other fandoms (notably: Transformers, BNHA, BG3, JJBA, SDV, Naruto, Persona, etc.) as well.
Looking forward to connecting with everyone! I may be a little awkward and not understand tumblr etiquette immediately, or reply sporadically, but I'm still here if you wanna chat about my fics, your fics, your requests, or anything under the sun tbh.
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Secrets and Sin (A TSOT, poly/OFC or SI, 3POV fanfic)
Chapter 5 Summary and Preview
They drove horror into him like dull knives would have twisted down his spine.
“Marshwalker,” she hummed, “You’re named after a flower, aren’t you? The little blue ones with the yellow eye. I’ve seen some in the bogs back home.”
“They grow here too.”
“Yeah, they do.” A pause, and her lip quirked into a little smirk. “Fragile little things. Pretty, though. Soft petals.”
This time, Stan’s hand stilled. For just a beat.
“Silver.”
Her brows arched up, amused by his flat tone.
“That’s me,” she drawled.
“Are you now, while under my care, in a watchtower in the western forest, attempting to call your General fragile.”
Silver’s hands made to clutch at her chest in faux-disbelief.
“Why, Marshwalker. I would never.”
By this point perhaps I should mention that the songs for each chapter are Imagine Dragons songs, from across their repertoire. I had no idea why but in chapter one, I was just compelled to listen to the song throughout the whole chapter. And then each time, I would magically find another that fit the vibe and content, and get a burst of dopamine, so they're now all like this.
And I was listening to Sirens, and I'm gonna be honest -- that is the song I associate most with this fic as a whole. Literally listened to it for 7 days straight on repeat while writing, when fiance was away.
I really want to make an AMV, but I first need to learn how to draw and then how to animate.
And I already spend all my time writing. I simply Cannot. (might draft out a storyboard of it tho, if I ever win the lottery)
The modern version of resetting the position of a piece of paper on a typewriter, is when you type to the bottom of your document and have to move your hand to your mouse to scroll down the page
Er... So the hospital appointments didn't go great, and I coped hard by writing out the skeleton of an extra chapter of S&S while on (legally sanctioned) drugs??
I do not remember time passing nor what I wrote but I now have four separate sticky notes on my screen, and I am numb but at least I have the (now back to incomplete) fic to keep me company while I veg out on the sofa haha
Yeah this is your soft announcement that the word count will increase and there will be one more chapter. I think yall horny bastards (affectionate) will like it
I was so out of it that when I did a quick pass on one of the scene's blockings because it just felt weird and dicombobulated when I read it, that one person was simultaneously sitting on the ground, standing and leaning against a fence, and also resting their arms on the fence in a forward lean. Fucking magical
So, for anyone wondering how this nebulous "brain fog" I'm feeling from my pain meds affects me:
I'm usually a meticulous person. Day plans, plot points, commitments -- everything is usually pre planned and written somewhere.
My memory has always been solid: Dates, times, and details of which foods fiance likes and doesn't like, down to which dish caused his opinion, and which restaurant he said it in.
I am the type of person who has an excel spreadsheet of my word counts over the month, and an inventory of my medications, down to date, time and dosage. How much I have left. Potential interactions. Graphs on excel that track the progression of my pain over day and nighttime, across the months.
Fiance and I have been eating together for the past month, just like we have every month over our nine year relationship. I cannot, for the life of me, recall any singular restaurant, dish, or opinion.
And, over the past week, I had to be reminded three times, on three separate occasions, that my Important Medical Appointments (outpatient day surgery) were on June 3rd. Each time, I was under the unshakeable and utter belief that: No, The Appointment Is On June 4th, Silly. I checked the hospital app three separate times, and each time I was proven wrong.
Each time, I thought to put it in my calendar so it would notify me. Each time, I was in the middle of doing something else, and I forgot to in just under ten seconds.
On the bright side, by the time I'm done editing Secrets and Sin, it will seem like a whole new book to me.
Oh, and it is currently sitting at a tight 100,000 words. I have become drunk with power.
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Despite Secrets and Sin having no smut, it may be hotter than Syzygy, I fear. Several times I have written myself into a blushing mess while editing, and had to slap my cheeks a few times just to stop grinning like a devil.
Perhaps I will start some sort of poll on here to see if anyone's interested in any further development of scenes into smut.
amazing chapter once again i already gush about it on ao3 but i still want to send you an ask
again soo thankful for you for writing your amazing works you have quickly become an author that i know in the future i will be thinking about lovingly and fondly
i’m sorry if my english sucks and i can’t truly write how much i appreciate you and your work 🧡
again have a great day !! take care of yourself !!!
- 🍊
Oh! That was you!! I truly did not put things together HAHAHA
That is a very sweet sentiment! Thank you so much for your enjoyment, and for future you's thoughts opinion of me. <3
And don't worry, your english is fine! Thank you for the well wishes, and I will! ^_^
Secrets and Sin (A TSOT, poly/OFC or SI, 3POV fanfic)
Chapter 4 Summary and Preview
The Knights would follow their lords, wherever they may go, whatever they might ask.
Silver chuckled breathlessly. Despondently.
“You… I could fight off any manner of assassin from you – but princess, I–”
“I just–” he sucked in a sharp breath. Stared at her. Then let it out, deflated.
“I just need my Knight by my side,” Kenny said, softly.
Silver’s expression flashed briefly with guilt, but it was gone before Kenny could comment on it. She sighed, and approached her Lady.
He tracked her with his eyes as she took a knee, and it sounded a solid thud into the otherwise silent room. She took his hand gently, placing her other over her chest, where her heart was. An oath.
“My Lady, this I swear – nothing could tear me from my place by your side. Not beast nor King. I am utterly devoted to you. I will follow you anywhere.”
____
“Stanley,” Kyle said softly, and Stan’s eyes immediately darted to his, pinned by his King’s gaze.
“The two of you aren’t so different.”
Stan plucked the missive from Kyle’s hands. And when he did, their fingers brushed – for just a moment – and that was enough for Stan to feel that rush of electricity run down his spine. It left his lungs bereft of air, in a way dissimilar from battle.
But his expression showed nothing, and he closed his eyes, sighing in defeat. The King leaned back in his chair, satisfaction curling his lips into a smile.
“You don’t have to talk me into it, your Majesty. It was my King’s order. I’m going."
I had to look up "crude idioms for pissing for dudes," and my ads will never be the same again -- because like me, they are also confused by my gender.
The issue with reading and absorbing Cormac McArthy's works is that I've noticed my sentences running longer and longer, with fewer commas and more "ands" as connectors.
... I'm going to say that this was a personal aesthetic choice, rather than it being his books gnawing at my subconscious, a week after I read them.
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So, the mania/euphoria that pushed me to crank out a 15 chapter book in 12 days has faded, and has left nothing but fatigue and brain fog in its wake.
Therefore, editing Secrets and Sin has been slow going, and I've decided that perhaps in this state, resting would help more than squeezing my brain and forcing it to work through editing hell. (I'm halfway through chapter 10, but I predict the rest will be even harder/more taxing -- and everything from chapter 8 onwards requires one more thorough pass due to them being weaker chapters in my opinion.)
It was about two to three weeks of mostly uninterrupted 10-hour days, barring appointments I had to keep that forced me away from my PC. But yeah, when the brain fog hits hard (like it is now), I think I'll just rest. Ain't nothing chasing me for deadlines, it was just a personal goal of mine to complete this within the month so I could work on Syzygy without it nagging in my head.
In other news, I have apparently written 90k words so far this month, across all my SP fics. Hooray! I don't think it'll get to 100k, but here's hoping!
Hello, I saw that a lot of people are leaving you little messages and I didn’t want to be left behind.
First of all, I absolutely love your writing. Studio Syzygy completely fascinated me.I usually don’t read poly stories, only ones centered around a single character, but the dynamic in Syzygy hooked me instantly (especially the dynamic between Stan, Kyle, and Silver — those three are absolutely insane). The way you write is sublime, and the way you characterize the boys is so captivating. I especially adore the way you write Kyle (besides the fact that he’s my favorite 😫).
I’m really looking forward to more of your stories, and from what I’ve read about Secrets and Sin, it looks amazing and I’m beyond excited for more chapters.
But yeah, that’s all I can really say for now. I just wanted to leave this little message and tell you how much I love what you do (it’s so hard to find really good SP stories nowadays 😭).
I truly hope you never stop writing. 🥺💗
(And sorry if I made any mistakes, English isn’t my first language, but I’m trying my best to write this for you 😔)
Aaa! Hello! I'm incredibly touched that you decided to leave me this ask, it really brightened my day :))
I'm so glad you enjoyed Syzygy and enjoyed the poly dynamic between them :) I started writing it because I wanted to get more practice writing a realistic poly relationship before I went back to my other fic in another fandom, so I'm happy that it landed for you :D (Kyle is my favourite too, oop!)
I'm also happy you're enjoying Secrets and Sin! For that, I'm really committed to getting the best and most intentional of my writing as of this moment out there now, so I'm really happy you're enjoying it too :-)
Thank you once again for leaving such a heartwarming message <3 These really help to break me out of my own spiral of gloom when I'm editing and think to myself that no one could possibly enjoy the junk on the page, ahaha!
And for being your second language, your english is excellent! Don't ever worry about it :)
Hiii it's crystalsprings from ao3! I have a question, if it's not too much trouble for you to answer. No worries if it is.
I was just wondering what your process is for how you write for the South Park boys, because I love your characterizations but anytime I try to write something myself (I do little drabbles in my free time nothing big) I feel like I write Stan too flat and Kyle too reactive, I guess. Anyways, I was just wondering if you have any tips at all, but no pressure, I was looking at your posts and you seem pretty busy loll
Anyways lots of love thanks for considering my ask :)
Oh my goodness hi there! Of course it's no trouble, I'm a chronic yapper, that's why I write in the first place! Thank you for asking, it made me reflect more deeply on how I write Stan, wrt both the unconscious and conscious decisions I made with his character.
But hooly this is the first time anyone's ever asked me for advice, and I'm honoured. I'd hardly consider myself the gold standard for character writing, but since your pressure point seems to be Stan, here's how I approached him, though this applies for all three of the boys:
In the early chapters of Syzygy, I struggled a lot with this as well! You're not alone haha. When I first began, I approached his character with the headcanon that he was the most affected by depression out of the three, and that's where I found the most friction, because in my experience, suffering from the disease resulted in a lot of passivity for me.
However, depression =/= passive ALL the time. Stan still has character motivations, and will move to achieve them. This lends him some narrative/scene-specific tempo.
(E.g. He's confused = will ask for advice. Sees his friend sad/breaking down = will actively cheer up Silver. Misses Wendy = will start conversations with her and campaign for his own needs when pushed to the brink.)
While planning Syzygy out, I predicted that this would be an issue. It's good that you're already spotting the pressure point in your own work, because then you can fix it with some narrative fernaggling!
That is to say, if you're having trouble with him making impact on a scene, then he can instead serve as the catalyst for the narrative moving forward. Often, characters are both, but well, when you're struggling and just wanna put your strongest foot forth and set yourself up for success as best you can, you could start with this, and as your own version of Stan gets more fleshed out, you'll be more comfortable with writing him moving and acting during scenes.
(E.g. They're all in a scene just bing chilling, and he can be passive while the other characters get more scenic weight, but narratively, he's the reason why everything in Syzygy started to begin with.)
And when this starts feeling like a bit of a narrative shortcut, or if you've already got a plot planned out -- then consider this:
Passivity and inaction can be action if you frame it the right way. Doing nothing is still doing something. If someone asks you if you'd like tea, and you said no, that is still a decision you made. I think of passivity in character writing the same way.
While Stan is still the most traditionally passive of the characters I wrote in Syzygy, that is honestly its own strength -- because his baseline is "passive", everything he actively chooses to do holds more narrative weight, is more intentional, and thus stands out a lot more.
(E.g. Him not moving or eavesdropping when Kenny and Silver were arguing, but then moving to block the door when he hears it escalate. Him choosing to let Kyle punch Kenny, even though he could see it coming.)
If all else fails, and you can't retroactively retool the narrative to make him the catalyst, but he also doesn't have a goal to accomplish within the scene itself, then consider having an overarching "state" he's headed towards in terms of character growth, one that he moves towards, is important to him, and that he's consistently thinking about (and therefore, that you're consistently thinking about,) and let that propel his momentum.
This would then be appropriate set up for something to happen down the line, that would eventually make him more active and draw his narrative arc to a close. It's a proper narrative technique -- think the hero's journey! Set it up as a baseline, then knock it down when it truly matters. (This is the character arc of someone in Secrets and Sin! Passivity -> movement, and I think I quite liked how it worked out.)
But my closing thoughts are this: It takes all kinds of people to make the world turn, and some are more passive than others. That's not a bad thing, and in fact, can lend realism to a story because, well, that's simply how life is. I like having variation in my characters, because if everyone's active, then it could muddy the waters and it would feel like none of them are. Perhaps you could lean in to your instincts, maybe they're trying to tell you something about the story! I personally enjoy a little heterogeneity in my characters.
Of course, that's not to say a narrative in which everyone is working towards a goal actively isn't feasible and incredibly satisfying to read, but these are just my two cents with my current level of writing at the moment!
TLDR:
1. Every character has motivations. Passive =/= passive ALL the time.
2. If not scenic weight, then narrative weight.
3. Inaction is still a decision when framed right.
4. Use the passivity as a baseline to subvert expectations and set something up down the line.
5. Passive doesn't mean unrealistic!
If you have any more questions or clarifications, you need only ask! And if you'd like to chat privately, you can always add me on discord, I'm much more active on there lol.
hi <3 omggggg trying on wedding dress ik u look amazing in all of it
LOL i also have the same problem with the thumb up poses for photos
i know u will prevail in that editing hell & i just saw u posted chapter 3 so i have to lock in and catch up !!!!!!
have a great day !!!!!!!!!!
-🍊
I!! Looked alright! Renting a gown is extremely expensive here, and I wasn't actually really looking for anything I'd wear on the day, moreso gathering bits and pieces of what I liked best in each dress, so I could take that information overseas and get one done for much cheaper, hahaha.
Secrets and Sin (A TSOT, poly/OFC or SI, 3POV fanfic)
Chapter 3 Summary and Preview
Kenny wishes it were a dream.
A procession had left the palace through a side gate: hooded figures, moving in lockstep – their dark robes remaining eerily still as they moved – making them appear as spectres of the night.
They walked in two straight rows, with the four at each corner holding a staff that had been laced with small, spherical chimes that rang and tinkled deliberately with each step of their wielders.
And in the middle – a wood-woven palanquin, draped in white fabric, faintly glowing from something within. As night fell – the silhouetted figure within became starker.
The ghosts’ robes cut darker shadows against the light of the torches they carried. Even a particularly strong gust of wind did not faze them – undisturbed by the tongues of flame that darted out to lick precariously at their obscured faces.
However, that was not to be said for the palanquin – the cloth it had been adorned with rucked up and swished with the wind – and it was just enough for Kenny to be able to see.
Then, all at once – it was like a waking dream – no. A nightmare.
NGL the procession thing was inspired by that creepy scene in Studio Ghibli's The Cat Returns, with the little procession of kitties. I watched that shit religiously as a kid and it imprinted on my brain lol
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i’m slowly reading thru secrets and sin !!!!! i am truly enjoying it <3 but i can’t believe you already have it done !!!! ahhh i can’t wait to read it alllllll !!! have a great day :)
Hello again!! I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying it! I've been working really hard on it so that makes me really happy to hear, thank you ^_^
Unfortunately I'm in editing hell right now :"D the word count has gone up to about 74k? And I'm only done refining them up to chapter 8.5!
The latter chapters need a lot more work as I wrote them during a time in which my brain was the foggiest...
But I took a break today to go try on wedding dresses! The stylist kept laughing at me everytime she took a photo because I kept posing with thumbs ups :"D so hopefully this serves as a nice lil break before I return to editing :-)
Friends, rejoice!!!
For twelve days later,
after 69,784 words,
Secrets and Sin is finally done!!!
How the fuck I managed to write a whole book in two weeks will forever remain a mystery to me. (The answer is medication, euphoria, and having increased focus from reduced pain)
Now, I can heave a huge sigh and continue working on Studio Syzygy, since I've gotten that 70k long plot bunny out of my head and onto the page. Editing can come slowly as I release the chapters weekly, or every two weeks, depending on if I have a Studio Syzygy chapter to update.