Blū.

tonight, something with sentimental value shattered, so I gathered all the pieces and took pictures of them with lighting at various angles. so many perspectives, so many interpretations. I can keep the shards, put them in my pocket to bring out when I’m feeling low, cut my fingers on them again and again. or I can make a sacred moment of it, create something meaningful, give it the space it deserves, and then turn it into something new. (at Bellingham, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5ZjLMbgGxK/?igshid=1xh3033t0pbnz

this year has been a teacher. it has taught me the reserves of strength I didn’t know I had. it has taught me to be kind to myself. it has shown me the fire within. more than anything, it has taught me loss and gifted me pain. it reached right into my chest, ripped my heart out, roots and all, and handed it back to me as a gift. I don’t spend much time in morose moods. I weep, then I get back up and into the flow of life. usually I eat something too, because below my heart lies my stomach. we all end someday, and I’m of the mind that the soil of all of this suffering and sorrow is what enables happiness, hope, and humor to grow in each of us, and in nature. but fuck this year. fuck this fucking year. fuck you 2019. I’m done with you. done, done, done. you soaked up all the tears I have thricefold. there are none left, yet I know you’ll demand more. rare are the years I willingly forget, and you are chief among them. into my compost heap you go, to become fertile soil for better years to grow from. burn, die, rot, and begone. I wipe the dust of you from my feet as I walk on to better adventures. and yet I am thankful for you. *pictured:* words I wrote during the throes of feeling the most exquisite emptiness, bookended by two pictures that I took that reflect, in a way, how it feels sometimes within. you can always find a mirror in nature. in greatest yin there is always the seed of yang, and I always find humor or hope after the darkness passes along. (at Bellingham, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5XHkZ-AOrn/?igshid=mxe56ehzd2ax