A joke poorly told

…… this isn’t my post. i didnt makethis post. why does it say i made this post

not to be boring and solve the fun mystery but it says that bc it’s a “chat” post, not a text post. which used to not include the OP’s username, so tumblr assigned you op I Guess (source: i made this post in 2014)

thank you for giving me custody of this post 🙏 i just picked it up from elementary school and tomorrow it has soccer practice

I don't do "art studies," i draw "wrong" until I get an epiphany from god

*running up to you at the playground* do you want to play 12 angry men with me

ok so being a parent IS really hard but not the way you think. well its probably hard the way you think but its ALSO really hard because my toddler pronounces peanut butter like "peepee yaya". and see, because he learns from me, i can't say "peepee yaya", no matter how much i want to, because i have to teach him that it is actually pronounced "peanut butter". and dont even get me started on how he pronounces "shaun the sheep" (shit the shit)

Normal guy voice . I need to watch him lose consciousness in a vulnerable position

i will personally never understand that thing people do when theyre like "i thought this was a good piece of art until i realised its fetish/pornographic" like why does art lose value if the artist was a little horny when they made it. why is that so scary. im sure a lot of the old masters were doing portraits of their lovers slightly bricked up & theyre still displayed in museums. why is sexual arousal not an acceptable source of inspiration when like every other emotion is. well i mean i know why sadly but i do not like it so i'll continue to complain about it

baseball fights are better than hockey fights because everyone expects a fight in hockey. baseball fights are some real hater shit

licking you bee wanted your sweat. that second one was just a freak I think

Some bees collect fibres for their tiny nests! They are usually more polite about it though

"natural shedding is taking too fucking long get it together mammal" <- like that maybe. Bee has places to bee 🐝