bloviating-vy

With a smile playing at the corner of your lips, you drop your clothes on the floor and, taking his hand, step into the shower. 

The water, pouring from a waterfall showerhead, is divine: hot, stark. Taehyung steps back to let you have the bulk of the stream. As it runs over you, it warms the chill you haven’t been able to shake since you found yourself outside last night, and eyes sliding shut, sigh into the sensation. 

You feel the roughness of his fingers brush against your face, tugging a stray lock out of your eyes. You open yours. 

“Hi,” Taehyung says, searching your face. 

“Hi,” you whisper back, arms coming to wrap protectively—from the cold?--around your torso. “Is this allowed?” 

“Of course it’s allowed,” Taehyung responds. “Why wouldn’t it be?” 

“I dunno.” You take a step forward and trace a finger up his chest, collecting beads of water. Watching the water run down the broad planes of him is much easier than looking him in the eye when you say this next thing: “Here we are taking a shower together—when we were once in love. Don’t you remember?” You give him a teasing grin, trying to hide the sharp truth of your words that lays just beneath the surface. 

Taehyung only hesitates for a moment. “How could I forget?” A softness tinges his voice. He takes your elbow in his hand as you continue to trace lines across his chest, flattening your hand against him. 

“Does that make all of this strange?” You ask quietly. 

“You tell me if taking a perfectly utilitarian morning shower with your ex is strange—when the rest of the house is fucking or falling—” He stops himself. “Well, you know.” 

“Do I know?” You ask, brushing away the water falling into your eyes. 

“If you don’t, you will soon.” Again, that cheeky grin. “C’mere.” Taking a clean wash cloth, he holds your hands in his and gently washes them. He does not scrub at them like you did—it’s more of a caress. Then he takes you by the shoulders and spins you around, allowing his touch to rove over your back. He is gentle with you as he washes you, the kind of care that only comes with years of love. You hum in satisfaction as the warm water encompasses you and his touch brings a shiver to your skin. 

“Maybe this is a little strange,” he murmurs when he’s done, turning you around to face him again. 

“It is,” you say. 

“Well, I’ve never been a stranger to strange.” 

“That—I know is true.” 

Standing in front of him, looking into his eyes, it feels like you are looking back through time, to that first moment he stood under the awning to your apartment and dawdled so long, that it took you turning the knob and beginning to step inside for him to grab your hand, pull you back, and kiss you. Back then, his hair flopped into his eyes in a similar way it does now, dripping with water. Back then, his eyes held the same kindness you see now. Back then, they held the same desire you see burning behind his iris. 

You look away from him, your gaze trailing to the floor. 

He tilts your chin up. “Wherever you’ve just gone…let go.” 

“What?”

“Whatever it is you’re holding so tightly to, you can let go of it.” His words are soft, kind. What is it you’re holding onto, after all? Is it what the two of you once had? What you’ve had between the two of you since then—tension, moments of uncertainty, and other moments of intense proximity? Or are you simply holding onto a veil of distance that has long since unfurled between you?

“Can I kiss you?” he asks. You nod, and, using the finger beneath your chin, tilts you towards him. “This all feels different than before,” he says, hesitating, stalling. 

“I think it feels the same,” you whisper back, eyes flicking down to his lips. 

“I mean, you feel different.” 

And then he kisses you. 

His lips are kind, soft, against yours. He is cautious almost, but only in the sense that you can feel him testing your edges—waiting for you.

With the cold air at your back, you find yourself chasing his warmth. Your hands slide around his torso as you press yourself close to him. Together, you find a rhythm—mouths moving in synch—that feels old and new all together. When he feels you chase him, he lets go of any hesitation, one hand coming to cup the side of your face, his other hand wrapping around your waist and pulling you even closer. 

As you gasp against each other, he carefully takes a step forward, pushing you back, but never releasing the divine nearness of your bodies. Gently, he presses you against the cold tile wall with a sigh against your lips. With the wall at your back, the water streaming over both of your bodies you dive in even closer, your hands roving over his body. 

You’re chasing his warmth: the hard shape of his body, the sweet, dark brown of his eyes which flutter open for a moment, the feeling of his attention on you, yours—again—finally. It’s more than pleasure though. There’s something building in your chest. It sings clear and sweetly and—

His fingers are between your legs. 

You gasp, arch against him. 

“Missed this,” he says, that youthful smirk dancing at the corner of his lips, and suddenly you are both young again and dumb and fumbling in the dark for each other’s bodies for the first time. 

As he touches you, your body rises to meet his. You chase his touch. And as pleasure builds in your body, so does that lush warmth in your chest, it has you chasing more than just the delightful sensation of his fingers against you—it has you chasing him. 

Through the valley of your memory. Through the space that’s between the two of you. You lean towards him to capture his lips and the kiss is rushed and deep and wanting. 

You almost jolt back from him when you realize it: the love is still there. It still feels as young as when you were in a relationship, and yet, there’s something aged, more there. The friendship built over years. The trust. The care. It radiates out from the center of you like the sun would. It almost comes to your lips, easy, so careless.

Instead of speaking it, you kiss down his neck to where his pulse hammers with desire. You say his name with desperation, and he locks eyes with you as his fingers take you to the edge and let you descend into pleasure. As you call out, he smiles with that knowing smile, like you’ve just given him the best gift at Christmas. 

“I’ve been waiting so long to get you alone,” Taehyung says, kissing your forehead as you come down from your high. “And now I only want more.”

When he touches you, it feels like an undoing, the years apart untangling between the two of you, your body unwinding beneath his touch, his voice—the one for months you knew only over the phone—toppling something hard and firm in your chest. 

You gasp against his neck. 

When you left each other it was with the understanding that the two of you, when fit together, didn’t quite add up to one whole. But now it’s been years. Now you’ve grown from adult by name to adult by trade, growing into your skin, your identity—your voice. When he hums against you, that deep tenor vibrating through you, you find a new body on the other side of the kiss. His—knowing, known. Yours—speaking back.

—

He comes up behind you as you’re tugging on clothes for the day. You’re yearning for something warmer today: thick, sturdy. Something that will hold you. After all, there’s a growing chill in the air. 

The dirt has been scrubbed out from under your nails, Taehyung removed a leaf from your hair earlier, and now there is little left on your body from the strangeness of the night before—other than the cold that still lingers in your bones. 

“Where did you go last night?” he whispers as the warmth of your kiss in the shower still pulses through you. 

Coughing in frigid air. On your knees, soft earth beneath them. Dirt, smudged into the lifeline of your palms like you’ve been praying on the forest floor all night. How did you get there? How did you get here? The forest pushed you. Urged you back towards the warmth. 

“I don’t know,” you respond. You wonder if you should tell him more. “Ever since we arrived here—I swear, there is something so strange about the forest outside this house.” 

Taehyung nods knowingly. “I agree,” he says, his voice low in a whisper. 

Your eyes widen. “You do?” 

He nods. 

“You see it too?” you find yourself whispering too. 

“Yes,” he says. 

You grab his arm and grip him tight. “Oh my god—” you gasp. “Oh my god. I’ve been thinking I was totally crazy this whole time. I should have just said something.” 

He laughs. “Yes, you should have!” Something relaxes in your chest. Oh my god. Oh my god. You can’t believe it. Taehyung, too, has seen the ever-going forest, the trees that sprawl on and on—he’s seen the road, eaten up by the forest, maybe he’s even seen the dreams—“Jin keeps teasing me because I won’t shut up about how far the trees go.” 

“Yes!” you exclaim, clutching at him. “Yes, exactly. It goes and goes, and it swallows up the whole world.” 

Taehyung nods. “It’s especially strange when the sun is setting, and you stand where you can see the peaks and valleys of the mountain range. Living in the city for so long, I forgot what it’s like to be surrounded by so much nature. But god, when the sun rises in the morning—to see the sunrise hit the town and turn it pink and orange. That is just idyllic.” 

The breath in your lungs freezes. “What?” you whisper. 

“The town—It’s beautiful to watch, nestled in between the forest and mountains.” Your stomach drops. Your hands fall away from him. “I will never get used to this view, or what it’s like to stare into the unending wilderness in the middle of the night.” He faux shivers. “Especially when you know there are things looking right back at you.” He grins and ruffles your hair. “Hey, don’t be so serious about it. You’re safe—here in the house with us.” 

He squeezes you, kisses your cheek, and with a whispered promise of all the things he still wants to do with you, disappears back into the bathroom to finish getting ready.  

—

You slip out of Taehyung’s bedroom while he’s still messing with his hair, and make your way to the kitchen where Jungkook is cooking up a storm. There’s a dozen bowls out, all filled with a mysterious liquid. There’s the sound of swearing and pots and pans clanking. There’s even a little bit of smoke. 

“Jungkook?” you say tentatively, as you step into the large room. He hardly glances up at you. 

“You took your time,” he notes. “Busy with Taehyung?” He says it as if it’s just another day. Your cheeks are still warmed from your conversation—and ensuing activities—in the shower. 

“Yes—no—I mean—” 

“So you didn’t have sex,” Jungkook observes. 

“...No.” 

“Goddamn that’s surprising. Hasn’t it been like, two million years?” 

“More or less,” you say.

“And here I was thinking that the two of you would be the first to hook up out of all of us. Aren’t you just dying for it?” 

“Jungkook, you were the first.” 

He shoots a shit eating grin over his shoulder. “Hell yeah I was.” Something sputters and spits from the stove, over which Jungkook is still thoughtfully hunched. He curses. “You know, I realized something very important while making breakfast,” Jungkook says over his shoulder as he stands at the stove. 

“Something important? What’s that?” 

“Well, in the middle of making that goddamn hollandaise sauce, the sauce broke. Tried googling how to fix it, re-emulsify it, whatever, and realized.” 

You laugh gently. “What did you realize, Jungkook?” 

He tugs you against his chest, your bodies pressed closely together.

“That I’d much rather lick the sauce off your body than feed it to everyone else at breakfast.” 

Jungkook swipes his hand through some jam and dots it on your nose. 

“What—” 

And then he licks it up. 

It doesn’t take long before your joking devolves into kissing, and then into stripping down to your bare skin, and then Jungkook pulling down your sweatpants until they pool around your ankles and getting to his knees.

“What the hell is taking so long with breakfast?” Yoongi’s voice sounds from the front of the kitchen. Your head snaps up to find Yoongi looking very disgruntled. Hangry, even. He doesn’t look one bit surprised to find Jungkook kneeled between your legs as you lean back against the counter. “Jeez, we charge you with making breakfast one time and you decide instead to pursue your vendetta of fucking our good friend as many times as humanly possible in the kitchen? The one space in this house that is supposed to be some mild level of sanitary? Are you trying to force feed the rest of the house your come?” He eyes a bowl of unnamed contents suspiciously. 

Jungkook looks flustered. 

“Sounds like a consent issue to me,” you whisper to no one in particular. 

“Sorry hyung,” Jungkook begins. “But the sauce broke. And then I got distracted.” 

“I’ll say,” grumbles Yoongi. He steps into the kitchen, tosses some bacon in a pan, and gets to cooking. “Stop all that. And clean up.” 

“But hyung—” 

“Don’t you worry,” Yoongi says. “I have a better idea, anyhow. Better than eating cold hollandaise sauce—disgusting by the way—off those tits.” 

“Hey!” you hiss. 

Yoongi looks you in the eye. “Darling, I would never call your tits disgusting." He nods to Jungkook. “That young man, however, I’d call him a lot of things.” 

Jungkook wriggles out from between your legs and steps up to Yoongi. He plants a kiss on the back of the older man’s neck. From the counter, you can see Yoongi flush with surprise. 

“What?” 

“Our friend is no appetizer anyways, Jungkook. If anything—the main damn course.” 

And that’s how you start the day, laughing, and kissing your two friends in the kitchen. Thank god no one except Taehyung shows up looking to be fed. He grins as he bites into his bacon, watching the three of you giggle and find pleasure in each other. 

It all almost entirely clears the fog that’s been following you the last few days. It almost makes you forget that there’s one invitation you haven’t yet responded to: Namjoon’s offer. 

As Yoongi wraps an arm around your waist and whispers into your neck the dirtiest of promises, you hear Namjoon’s voice in your head.Stay. Stay.

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You check your phone for the tenth time as you stand in front of the stadium. No new messages. Relax, you tell yourself, also for the tenth time. Your best friend isn’t the type to flake out on you. 

“Ohmygod you’re hereeeeeee!!!” 

Miyeon is the type to screech in excitement at the top of her lungs, though, no matter what the setting, or the annoyed expressions of the baseball fans around her as they stream into the ballpark. It might bother others, but it never bothered you how animated Miyeon gets. While others might operate on a scale between one to ten, her base setting is dialed up to eleven. 

Right now, she’s probably at a fifteen, bounding energetically towards you with a giant grin on her gorgeous face and her arms outstretched. You return the smile, but don’t return the hug so much as let yourself get swept away in her embrace. The two of you giggle as you nearly topple over onto the cement beneath your feet. 

“Of course I’m here, you’re the chronically late one, remember?” you chide her teasingly when you manage to extricate yourself from her hug. 

“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting!” Miyeon apologies. She means it genuinely, just like she does every time. “I got caught up chatting with one of the guards at the gate. It’s her son’s birthday today, so I told her I could get her a signed ball from Seokmin if she wanted, as a gift.” 

“Is she a friend of yours?” 

“Nope.” Miyeon pops the ‘p’ as she shakes her head. “Met her on my way in.” 

“Then how do you know it’s her son’s birthday?”

“Oh, we just got to talking, you know how it goes!” 

You don’t, in fact, know how a conversation with a total stranger leads one to promising an autographed ball from a player, but that’s Miyeon for you. Truthfully, the concept of a “stranger” doesn’t exist in her world - everyone is either her friend, or her friend-in-waiting. 

“Do you usually go around offering Seokmin’s autograph to random people?” 

Miyeon shrugs. “I mean, what’s the point of being married to the team’s star pitcher if you can’t make some little kid’s dreams come true?” She links her arm through yours and gives your shoulder a squeeze. “Let’s find our seats. I need a beer asap.” 

It’s been a long time since you’ve been inside a baseball stadium voluntarily. When you were a kid, your dad loved to take you to the local summer league’s games in a sweet but misguided attempt at bonding. Instead of finding the sport interesting, you found it to be excruciatingly boring - not to mention slow. After the first time, you learned to bring a book with you for entertainment. 

Even though you’ve never been inside this particular stadium, it feels very familiar, and you’re hit with a sense of déjà vu, like you’ve stepped back in time to one of those hot summer afternoons. Fans mill around you, decked out in their colorful jerseys and hats. The smell of hot dogs and popcorn wafts towards you from the concession stands as Miyeon leads you down through the rows of seats towards a section right between home plate and the home team’s dugout. 

The home team. If Miyeon heard you referring to the Diamonds that way, she’d remind you quickly that this is your team now. It’s been two months since you moved to this city, and you need to start thinking of it as your home now. You’ll get there. In the meantime, Miyeon’s made herself the driver of your personal welcome wagon, and this is the first stop. 

When she’d first asked you to join her for the opening game of the season, you’d nearly laughed her out of the room, until she explained that her intent was to introduce you to her friends. As the new girl in town, you’re in no position to turn down an opportunity to meet some people. Plus, she offered to buy you some drinks, and only a fool turns down free booze. 

You did have to talk yourself out of bringing a book, though. 

“How far down are we going?” you ask as the two of you continue to descend. You’ve never sat so close to the field before - your dad could only ever afford nosebleed seats. 

“Oh, all the players’ partners sit down in the first row,” Miyeon replies. 

“Wow, do you get to sit down here for free?” 

Miyeon just laughs in reply, then she smiles brightly. “Oh good, everyone’s already here! Come on, you’ve got to meet them all!” 

There’s a tiny spike of nerves at the thought of meeting new people - no matter how old you get, you always feel like the odd new kid on the first day of school - but you quickly tamp them down when Miyeon squeezes your arm again reassuringly. She’s always been able to read your emotions like they’re written on your face in ink visible only to her. It’s uncanny sometimes. 

“Don’t worry, they’re going to love you,” she says, and then she raises her free arm. “Jihyo! Momo! Hiiiiii!” 

Heads turn as your friend trills a greeting, and then several of the prettiest people you’ve ever seen in your life lift their hands in friendly waves. Miyeon pushes you in front of her, and starts rattling off names.

“YN, this is Jihyo, Momo, Wonwoo, and Yuqi. Everyone, this is YN.” 

Everyone says hello as you take your seat between Miyeon and Jihyo, feeling a bit embarrassed like you’re facing down the popular kids, which is 100% the vibe Miyeon’s friends give off. “Uh, hi, everyone. It’s nice to meet you all.” 

“Oh, Mi, you were right, she’s so cute!” Momo says, glancing you up and down. You’re not entirely sure what to say to that, laughing a little in your confusion, and Jihyo shakes her head. 

“Don’t mind her. It’s Momo’s favorite holiday today, so she’s being extra extra.” 

“Holiday?” Do people treat the opening day of baseball as a holiday? It’s just a random day in April, as far as you’re concerned.

“First day of hunting season,” Momo replies. She mimes cocking a rifle, aiming at the field. “Let the games begin!” 

You glance at Miyeon, who fills you in. “Momo’s what they used to call a ‘cleat chaser.’ Or, like, a groupie. You know, someone who likes to sleep with baseball players.” 

“Though technically, doesn’t that describe all of us?” Wonwoo interjects, stretching out his hand. “Hi, I’m Wonwoo. I’m married to number 11, Chan. He’s the shortstop.” 

“I’m dating number 7, Minghao,” Yuqi adds with a sweet smile. She points him out on the field, gesturing to where two men are standing near first base and talking. “That’s him there.”

“And I’m married to that hottie right next to him, Mingyu!” Jihyo informs you. She cups her hands around her mouth and startles you with her incredible volume. “GYU BABY, LET’S GO!!” 

The taller of the two men looks up and grins before blowing a kiss towards the stands. A third man joins them, and this one, you recognize. 

“There’s my baby!” Miyeon coos, waving at Seokmin, who holds his hands in the shape of a heart over his chest and mimes it beating. 

“Are you single, YN?” Momo suddenly asks. “Miyeon didn’t mention if you were.” 

“Oh, um, yes,” you reply, a little caught off guard. You weren’t expecting to discuss your dating life - or lack thereof - within the first three minutes of meeting Miyeon’s friends. 

‘Oh good! Wait - are you into men?” 

“Mo, how about we get the girl a drink before you start inquiring about her sexual orientation?” Miyeon shields her eyes with her hand as she glances up and down the rows of seats. “Has anyone seen the beer vendor yet? Did I miss him?” 

Momo sighs. Jihyo pats her hand kindly. “You can’t really get mad at Mo, it’s been ages since she had any single friends to objectify the players with. She’s surrounded by old marrieds - yes, that includes you, Yuqi, you’ve been dating Hao for what, three years now?” 

“Three years of bliss, yes, that’s right.” Yuqi nods. “We’re in no rush to get married.”

Wonwoo hums. “You and Hao don’t need to get married if you don’t want to. You’ve got nothing to prove.” 

“I don’t objectify men,” Momo pouts, crossing her arms over her chest. “I treat them like people.” 

“I know, babe. I’m exaggerating for effect.” Jihyo says, rubbing her friend’s arm. Their dynamic reminds you a lot of you and Miyeon’s. You can understand why she’s drawn to their energy. 

The elusive beer vendor makes his appearance, bellowing about cold beer for sale, and Miyeon flags him down. Once everyone has a bottle in hand, she lifts hers in an impromptu toast. 

“Here’s to new seasons - and new beginnings!” 

You clink the neck of your bottle against hers. New beginnings are what brought you to this city in the first place. Fed up with a stagnant career and a pending rent increase on your shoebox of an apartment, you’d made the leap to a new job in a new city. At least here, you have Miyeon to support you if things fall through. The last few years have taken you and your childhood best friend in different directions - but being here in the same city now means a chance to reconnect and be more present in each other’s lives.

The afternoon sun starts to dip as the game begins. Baseball hasn’t changed much since you were younger - it’s still a fairly slow game. You don’t mind it so much today, being amused by Miyeon’s friends and their conversations. Not that they’re only here to socialize. They’re paying attention to what’s happening on the field. You do your best to keep up when they start talking about baseball, but it doesn’t really matter if you know the difference between a changeup and a curveball - you get enough to understand their enthusiasm for the game.

“This year’s prospects are looking pretty good,” Miyeon comments during the bottom of the fifth inning, as the visiting team takes the bat. 

“I’ll say,” Momo hums, gesturing with her bottle at the second baseman. “Who’s on second? He’s pretty.” 

“I meant the team’s prospects for winning,” Miyeon rolls her eyes. “That’s Seungkwan. He just got traded from a farm team in Tacoma.” 

“Is Tacoma known for their bakeries? Because that boy has some serious cake.” 

You turn your attention to the second baseman and confirm Momo’s assessment - the man does indeed have a booty. At that moment, a batter for the visiting team hits a ball deep into the right outfield. There’s a player on first base, who takes off running for second. The right outfielder chasing the ball scoops it up and tosses it to Seungkwan, who catches it right before the runner reaches second. Seungkwan and the outfielder, who wears number 30, bump fists in a small celebration. Number 30 takes his hat off to wipe his brow, and… huh. That profile is familiar….

Wait a minute… is that…? 

“YN. Hello?” 

Miyeon snaps her fingers in front of your eyes, and you blink a few times. “What?” 

She frowns. “Where did you just go? I was asking what you’re doing after this.” 

You shrug. “I still have some stuff to unpack, but I’m okay with doing that later. Or never.” 

“After home games, we usually go out for food. Sometimes the guys join us, if they don’t have to be up too early the next day. There’s a place not far from here called Ruby’s Tavern - it’s kind of a hole in the wall, but the food’s really good.” 

“And the owner’s pretty cute,” Momo adds. 

“And he gives us free drinks!” Jihyo grins. “You should come with us!”

There’s another big play on the field - a pop-up caught by Number 30. He throws it to the catcher, who promptly tags out a runner trying to steal home, and that brings it to three outs to end the inning. The players head for their dugouts. 

Wonwoo puts two fingers in his mouth and whistles. “Great catch, Joshua!” 

Number 30 glances up into the stands. He beams brightly, taking his hat off to bow playfully at Wonwoo. 

Wait, did he say Joshua? Wait. Wait. 

“The outfield’s looking pretty strong to start this year,” Wonwoo remarks. 

“I think Joshua’s been working out.” Momo taps a finger on her bottle. “His biceps weren’t that big last year - I would’ve noticed. He would’ve made my list.” 

“He’s been hitting the gym hard with Gyu,” Jihyo states. “Him and Hao both, actually, right Yuqi?”

“Mmmmhmmmm,” Yuqi hums, staring at her boyfriend with a dreamy expression, making the rest of you giggle. She catches herself and blushes, taking a swig of her beer. 

“He’s clearly been putting in the work,” Momo says, still staring at Joshua. “What’s his status? Single?”

“Last I heard, he wasn’t seeing anyone. Oh!” Miyeon turns to you. “You might have met him at the reception! Joshua Hong, does that name ring any bells?” 

Oh, bells are ringing for you all right. Alarm bells. Miyeon’s question confirms it for you. That’s definitely the Joshua you met the night of her wedding reception. And then took back to your room.

The same man who disappeared in the early hours of the morning after, leaving not a trace behind, save for a slightly warm pillow and the crushing sense that you weren’t even worthy of a goodbye.

“Ummm, yeah, I think I remember seeing him there.” You stare out at the field, unseeing. Too lost in the memory of that night. “I didn’t know he was Seokmin’s teammate.” That topic of conversation surprisingly hadn’t come up. Probably because you’d been a little busy doing other things, things you don’t typically do with someone you’d met only a few hours earlier. 

You can’t see Joshua while he’s down in the dugout, but when you close your eyes, there he is, dressed to kill in a sharply tailored suit, staring down at you on the bed…. Quickly, you open your eyes and take a swig of your beer, wishing you could just wash the memories away with each sip. 

Thankfully, your best friend is too distracted by the game to pay very close attention to your mood right now. 

“Yeah, he was there. He was one of the few who could make it - “

“I’m sorry we couldn’t be there!” Yuqi blurts out, and Miyeon responds by waving her off. 

“Girl, I know, you don’t have to keep apologizing!” Miyeon laughs. “It’s really okay.” 

“He’ll probably be at Ruby’s,” Jihyo mentions, raising an eyebrow at you. “But Mo might fight you for him.” 

“Please, I’d never fight another woman for a man,” Momo scoffs. “Men aren’t worth the effort. Present company excluded,” she adds, glancing at Wonwoo. 

“Honored,” Wonwoo replies drily, but he can’t suppress a tiny smile. 

While Miyeon’s friends banter around you, you sit silently, mulling your options. If Joshua’s going to be at the tavern, you’re not sure you want to go. It’s been almost a year since Miyeon and Seokmin’s reception. You’d thought you were over that night, but seeing him again now is stirring up feelings long buried. Like embarrassment. 

And shame. 

On the other hand, you’re enjoying hanging out with Miyeon’s crowd. You don’t really want to go home to your box-filled apartment yet. Also, you’re getting hungry. Maybe Joshua won’t even be there, and you won’t have to figure out what to say to a man who couldn’t even wait until dawn to leave you behind. 

Before much longer, the game is over. The Diamonds win, and Miyeon and Jihyo cheer louder than anyone else in the stadium. As the teams clear the field, your best friend turns to you. 

“Well? Are you in for dinner?” 

Everyone else  is waiting for your answer with hopeful expressions, and that makes your decision for you. You’re having too much fun with your new friends to go home now. Besides, you can handle running into Joshua, can’t you? You’ll just play it cool - something you’ve never really been all that great at, but hey, new job, new city, new you, right?

“Yeah, sure, let’s go.”

Miyeon leads your group through the crush of fans leaving the rows around you, climbing up the steps of the stadium to where you’d entered by the concession stands. Instead of heading for the exit, she heads for an unmarked door that’s being guarded by an imposing looking man with the word “security” emblazoned on his shirt and biceps the size of watermelons. 

“Hey Changbin,” Miyeon greets him. She reaches into her purse and pulls out a pass hanging from a lanyard. “Having a good night?” 

“Can’t complain,” the security guard replies. For someone so tough-looking, he has a shockingly sweet smile. “Thanks again for the baseball, my nephew loved it.” 

“I told you he would! Hey, is it okay if my friend here comes down with me? This is YN, you’ll probably be seeing her around here a lot.” 

“He will?” 

Changbin gives you a once-over. “Sure, just keep an eye on her down there,” he says. You wonder if he’s saying that because he has to, or whether you actually look like someone who might get up to trouble if left to her own devices. 

The door leads to a stairwell with nondescript cement walls that provide no hint as to where you’re headed. One by one, Miyeon and her friends enter, but Momo hangs back. 

“See you soon!” she says with a little wave. 

“Wait, where are we going?” you ask, following your best friend down a flight of stairs to a set of double doors that are also unmarked. 

“To the locker room to get our men - what did you think?”  

“Oh. Right.” Makes sense, but you feel a slight sense of panic suddenly. What if Joshua’s still in there? You fake a laugh in response, earning yourself a curious look from your friend, but luckily at that moment, you turn a bend in the hallway and come face to face with Mingyu.

“There’s my baby!” Mingyu calls out, and Jihyo squeals, throwing her arms around her husband’s neck and kissing him.

You look away from their public display of affection, watching Wonwoo walk through the double-door entrance to the locker room behind Mingyu. After a few seconds, he returns.

“Coast’s clear,” he says. Yuqi and Miyeon file past you, and your friend notes the question on your face. 

“Wonwoo checks for naked players for us,” she explains. “We don’t want to intrude on anyone’s privacy. Also? We don’t want to see that.” 

“Yeah,” Yuqi pipes up, “we see enough balls during the game.” 

“Ba-dum-tiss,” Wonwoo says, mimicking a rimshot on an imaginary drum set. 

The double doors open onto a wall painted with a mural of the team’s baffling mascot, Carat, who has a diamond for a head but the body of a man. To the left of the mural is a doorway marked “Showers,” and to the right, a doorway marked “Lockers.” You follow the group into the room on the right.

As soon as you enter, you freeze. There are men everywhere, in various states of undress, talking and laughing. A few of them look at you curiously, and you suddenly feel shy and overwhelmed and completely out of place among these strangers. 

“Um, I’m gonna wait outside,” you say, retreating to the entrance. The others have all disappeared, so you’re just talking to yourself as you back out of the room.

“Peach?” 

Only one person has ever called you that. You turn around slowly, as if delaying the inevitable could also prevent it. It doesn’t work, of course, and there stands Joshua, freshly showered, wet hair pushed back, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and a look of surprise on his face.

Oh, this isn’t awkward at all, finally coming face to face with the man who ghosted you months ago. You glance over his shoulder, trying to calculate the distance to the door, so you can run out of here and out onto the diamond to lie down and wait for death. Sacrificing yourself to the tarp monster would be less painful than this moment for sure. 

Joshua seems as shocked to see you as you felt when you identified him on the field earlier. You have to force yourself to stop staring at his handsome face. Unfortunately, your gaze is drawn immediately to his bare biceps, glistening in the locker room lighting like he’s in a bodywash commercial. You catch a whiff of sandalwood and for a second your knees weaken as the memories wash over you again.

“That’s it - tell me how it feels, Peach.”

You clear your throat. “Joshua, hey.” That’s all you’ve got. Guess it’s better than nothing.

“I thought I was seeing things for a second.” His smile brightens, and you don’t like this, being caught off guard while he’s happy (?) to see you. Maybe pleased is a more accurate description. Whatever it is, it just keeps you feeling off-kilter. “What are you - why are you here?” 

That’s a fair question, as you’ve caught him by surprise. But it stings a little, so you raise your shields, crossing your arms over your chest and laughing. 

“Wow, it’s nice to see you too.” You glance at the doorway to the locker room. What is taking Miyeon so long to find her husband?

Joshua shakes his head. “Sorry, I just meant - hi. It’s been a while.” 

“Sure has.” 

He blink at your short response. “Yeah… well, it is nice to see you, anyway. I didn’t expect to see you here, obviously.” His smile returns. “Are you visiting Miyeon?” 

You’re so shaken by the awkwardness of the situation that you start to nod before realizing. “Actually, I - “

“Hey, Joshua!” As if she heard your silent distress call earlier, Miyeon appears at your side. “I was hoping you hadn’t left yet.” She throws her arm around your shoulders. “Do you remember my friend, YN, from our reception? She just moved here!” 

“Oh, uh…” Joshua glances at you in confusion, and you jump in before he can string together the rest of his sentence.

“I don’t think we got the chance,” you say, holding out your hand. “It’s so nice to meet you, Joshua.” You speak firmly - careful not to emphasize too hard to draw Miyeon’s attention, but enough for him to hopefully pick up what you’re implying.

He stares at you for half a second too long before shaking your hand. “Uh, yeah, nice to meet you too.” 

“Anyways, is my husband in there?” Miyeon nods towards the showers. “He wasn’t at his locker.”

Joshua’s slow to turn his head, like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he looks away. The irony almost makes you laugh. “I think so, hold on.” 

He ducks back into the room, shouting Seokmin’s name, while Miyeon inspects you closely. 

“Why is your vibe off right now?”

Damn it. “No reason.” 

Her face says she doesn’t believe you. You sigh. It’s been hard keeping this a secret from your best friend. At the time it happened, it hurt so much just to think about what happened that you didn’t feel like talking about it with her, picking it apart and examining it from every angle like you were both wont to do. There was no harm in not telling Miyeon, you decided - after all, you were convinced that you’d never see Joshua again. 

Goes to show what you know.

“Look, I’ll tell you later,” you hiss, miming a cutting motion over your throat just as Joshua reappears, with Seokmin on his heels. Your friend immediately launches herself at her husband, who catches her with a blinding grin before covering her face in obnoxiously loud kisses. 

“Ucch. Newlyweds.” Joshua makes a face and the sheer goofiness of it makes you laugh involuntarily. You manage to catch yourself, but not before he smiles, and oh, that look on his face, it just sends you back to that night again, to the moment when he’d escorted you to your room after the party ended…

“Is this your big closing move? Carrying girls to their rooms?” you tease him playfully as you reach for your shoes in his hand. 

Instead of letting go of them, he yanks slightly, and you tumble into him. A startled laugh bursts out of you, and he gives you a self-satisfied smirk, wrapping his arms around your waist while you steady yourself with your hands on his chest. Oh, he’s hot and smooth, which is unfortunately a very dangerous combination for you.

“Depends. Did it work?” He leans closer, his lips barely inches from your own, and drops his voice down to a low whisper. “Can I come inside?”

But you steady yourself with a deep breath and smile like you agree. His smile is tinged with something like fondness, and it’s weirdly agitating, so you clear your throat again. “Mi, are we ready to go now, orrrrr…”

“Yeah, no, we’re ready,” Miyeon says, turning to face you. Seokmin wraps himself around her, enveloping her in a bear hug with her back pressed to his chest, and for a second you’re filled with so much longing it nearly makes you sick. Not for Seokmin - you adore your best friend’s husband but in the most platonic of ways - but for what they have together. It doesn’t help that you’re a little touch-starved at the moment. 

Nor does it help that Joshua’s standing next to you so close that you can actually feel his body heat radiating from his bare skin. You shift away from him slightly before your hunger drives you insane. 

“Hey YN!” Seokmin greets you. “I was really happy to hear you were coming to the game today! What did you think?” 

“She’ll give you a full recap over dinner,” Miyeon promises him, winking at you. She can tell you’re antsy to get going, the way you’re slowly edging towards the entrance (and away from Joshua). “Let’s get going before Momo gives up on us. She’s saving our tables.”

You let out a small sigh, but your sense of relief is short-lived. You forgot one crucial detail - Miyeon’s conviviality is only outmatched by her husband’s. He can never pass up an opportunity for a friendly invitation.

As you and Miyeon head for the entrance, Seokmin turns to Joshua. “We’re heading to Ruby’s for some food - you wanna come along?” 

Joshua’s eyes bounce to you, and immediately you know you’re not getting out of this easily. “Sure, yeah. I’m in.” 

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“Can you not say it like that?” you reply, shivering. The room is getting chillier by the minute. The old radiator in the corner is doing its best to try to keep up with the cold temperature outside, but its best is terrible. 

If only you’d packed better for winter weather. At least your silky pajama set isn’t too revealing. Not that Wonwoo can see you right now, with his glasses on the nightstand by his side of the bed. That’s bed, singular, as in only one. The reservation your company booked had been for two rooms, but one computer error and no other vacancies later, here you are, stuck sharing the same bed with the most frustrating man alive. 

Why are work trips always so cursed?

“Say it like what?” 

“Like you’re inviting me to something that we both want to be happening.” 

Wonwoo’s face is deadpan as he stares at you. “Okay. How about - get your stubborn ass under the blankets already so I can finally get some sleep - is that better??” 

Not better, exactly, but considerably more normal. The two of you have been at each other’s throats since the day you were hired, locked in a neverending battle for dominance. You argue constantly, one of you always challenging the other. You’re not sure anymore who started it, but you do know one thing for certain - you will not lose to him. 

“Fine. Just remember the agreement.” 

“I’m not gonna leave my side.” Wonwoo rolls his eyes as you slip beneath the blankets. The bed is queen-sized, with space enough between you that you’re not touching at all. You lie on your side and face the wall, completely ignoring him - or trying to, at least. Until you move your foot and accidentally brush his calf.

“Ow!” He lifts the blankets to look at his leg. “I think you cut me with your toenails.” 

“Shut up, no I didn’t.” You barely touched him. 

“Keep your little talons to yourself.” 

“Maybe you should sleep in something other than your boxers,” you suggest, then add quietly, “...if you’re gonna be such a little bitch about it.”  

“I told you, this is what I always sleep in. I run hot. Also? I was not expecting any company tonight.” 

“It’s not my fault the reservation system glitched or whatever,” you point out defensively. “I don’t want to be here.” 

He sighs. “Yeah, I know. Now, will you please just relax?” 

“Shuttup,” you mumble under your breath, kneading your pillow, pushing the lumps around. “I’m relaxed. Go to sleep.” 

“You can’t order me around,” comes a mumbled response you’re nevertheless meant to hear. He never lets you have the last word. Never. 

At least you’re not cold anymore, since bickering with Wonwoo always fires up your blood. The way he gets under your skin should honestly be studied and applied as a torture technique. You close your eyes, hoping that when you open them again, it will be morning and this nightmare will have ended. 

And maybe that would’ve happened if the universe wasn’t such a hater.

In the middle of the night, you wake to find yourself lying chest-to-chest with Wonwoo - intertwined, with his hand splayed across your hip and your leg lying over his. Your surprise fades into resigned acceptance. Sure, this might as well be happening. 

At least it can be somewhat easily explained away - in your sleep, your body was obviously drawn to his heat. It’s his warmth you were attracted to, not his surprisingly impressive physique. Did he always have such big biceps?. How does he hide those under his button-ups? Or move without popping a seam? 

The position you’ve ended up in feels weirdly intimate, as if the two of you are embracing. If Wonwoo wakes up while you’re wrapped around each other like this, he will undoubtedly start some shit, and you’re too tired to deal with that. Slowly, you roll your hips, trying to slide your leg off of him.

Wonwoo groans in his sleep. His hand clutches at you, holding you close, stopping your shifting. You wait a few minutes until he settles again before trying to push yourself away. But this requires more effort, and you jostle him awake. His eyes meet yours, then drop down to where you’re tangled together. 

He’s beyond smug. “I knew you’d end up over here.” 

“What?!” you exclaim. “You’re on my side!” 

He scoffs, then grabs his glasses, looking around. “Whatever. Notice how you were the one wrapped around me? This wasn’t just my doing.” He frowns. “Besides, this is probably just, you know…” 

“...body heat?”

Something flickers in his eyes at your suggestion. “…sure.”

You lie there in silence for a moment, staring at each other. His hair is messy and his cheeks are smushed from his pillow. You must be delirious from lack of sleep, because you catch yourself thinking, he’s kinda cute when he’s not being an ass.

A chill distracts you. The radiator hasn’t given up the fight, but the war is over. Damn it. You never sleep well when you’re cold. 

Time to choke on your pride.

“Will you stay here?” 

“Like this?!” 

“No, I mean like - “ You turn over, so your back is facing him again, then kind of scoot backwards until you’re closer but not quite touching. “Like this. You know, for -“

“- body heat,” he finishes for you. “Yeah, sure, that’s fine.” 

“Great.” That was puzzlingly easy. “It’s too cold - ”

“But only if you say please.”

“What?” 

You glance over your shoulder to find him smirking at you once more. It’s teasing now, rather than smug, and despite yourself, you kind of like it. This is why he’s so frustrating - he stirs up so many confusing emotions in you. 

Wonwoo repeats himself slowly. “Say. Please.”

“You’re. Not. My. Boss,” you reply mockingly.

He clicks his tongue. “Try again. You want me to be nice, you need to be nice, too.” 

“Who’s not being nice?” You pout, honestly unsure if you’re flirting or fighting at this point. Maybe it’s the same thing for the two of you. 

“Do you want me to stay or not?” 

“Oh, shut up and help me get back to sleep. The faster I sleep, the faster you do, too.” 

“That is…” He falls silent, recognizing that you have a point. 

Without another word, Wonwoo lays down, pulling you towards him. His bare chest warms you through your top while his fingertips on your arms draw goosebumps. Hot and cold, a mixture of sensations, a mess of emotions. This is going to change things, isn’t it?

His hand traces over your lower stomach, lighter than air, and your breath hitches. In the darkness of the room, it’s easy to avoid thinking about any potential ramifications, and focus instead on the tingling pleasure blooming everywhere he touches you. 

“Is this what you meant?” he asks, and you gasp as his fingers push lightly on your lower stomach. An urgent need is growing inside you. “You said you need help.” His lips ghost over the back of your neck. “Do you want me to touch you?”

You do, but you don’t know how to tell him that without losing the game. You whimper his name, and push his hand between your thighs without another word. 

He kisses the side of your throat. “That’s what I thought.”

You open your mouth intending to give him an earful of what you think. But his fingers press against you through your clothes, and you can’t speak for all the moaning you’re doing. With a low chuckle, he pulls your leg back over his, spreading you open for him. His fingers dip beneath the waistband of your pajamas. 

This is really happening. You take a deep breath, and as you exhale, you let yourself melt against him.

“That’s it, just relax.” 

If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging! Likes do not help it get seen by other readers. 💕

Meet Katie Wu, a singer with a martyr complex

Stubborn pop singer Katie disappears suddenly from Seoul one night, abandoning both a career and her steadfast boyfriend Park Jae-sung. The guilt-ridden musician must learn how to release her shame and find herself worthy of joy and love

2. Park Jae-sung (King Ja$e, KJ), the furious rapper

Three years ago, Katie deserted genius rapper Jae-sung, leaving him bitter and confused. For years, he worried that he was a monster—unworthy of love. When Katie returns to Seoul, the rapper lashes out even as he yearns for closure. How will Jae-sung find healing and absolution?

Park Dae-jung (DJ), the singer with a heart of gold

Sweetheart Dae-jung is loyal to his fellow DOYEN bandmates to a fault. But Dae-jung is cast in the same movie as Katie, he finds his loyalties tested when he finds himself falling for her. Can Dae-jung move beyond what others think and pursue his own desires?

About the book

Three years ago, Katie Wu disappeared on Park Jae-sung and broke his heart. Now, she’s back in Seoul with a tell-all memoir.

When pop singer Katie Wu returns to Seoul, her ex-boyfriend rapper Park Jae-sung demands closure. Where did she go? Why did she ghost him? Is he a monster? And why is she back?

Katie knows she has a lot to answer for, except all she wants is to reconnect with her old friends in Jae-sung’s band DOYEN, move on with her life, and explore anything other than music—like acting. But when Jae-sung’s bandmate Park Dae-jung is cast in a movie with Katie, sparks fly between the two leads. Will Dae-jung pursue Katie even if it could tear their whole band apart?

How will Katie, Jae-sung, and Dae-jung overcome their feelings of guilt and choose forgiveness for themselves and each other?

Meet Katie Wu, a singer with a martyr complex

Stubborn pop singer Katie disappears suddenly from Seoul one night, abandoning both a career and her steadfast boyfriend Park Jae-sung. The guilt-ridden musician must learn how to release her shame and find herself worthy of joy and love

2. Park Jae-sung (King Ja$e, KJ), the furious rapper

Three years ago, Katie deserted genius rapper Jae-sung, leaving him bitter and confused. For years, he worried that he was a monster—unworthy of love. When Katie returns to Seoul, the rapper lashes out even as he yearns for closure. How will Jae-sung find healing and absolution?

Park Dae-jung (DJ), the singer with a heart of gold

Sweetheart Dae-jung is loyal to his fellow DOYEN bandmates to a fault. But Dae-jung is cast in the same movie as Katie, he finds his loyalties tested when he finds himself falling for her. Can Dae-jung move beyond what others think and pursue his own desires?

About the book

Three years ago, Katie Wu disappeared on Park Jae-sung and broke his heart. Now, she’s back in Seoul with a tell-all memoir.

When pop singer Katie Wu returns to Seoul, her ex-boyfriend rapper Park Jae-sung demands closure. Where did she go? Why did she ghost him? Is he a monster? And why is she back?

Katie knows she has a lot to answer for, except all she wants is to reconnect with her old friends in Jae-sung’s band DOYEN, move on with her life, and explore anything other than music—like acting. But when Jae-sung’s bandmate Park Dae-jung is cast in a movie with Katie, sparks fly between the two leads. Will Dae-jung pursue Katie even if it could tear their whole band apart?

How will Katie, Jae-sung, and Dae-jung overcome their feelings of guilt and choose forgiveness for themselves and each other?

Meet Katie Wu, a singer with a martyr complex

Stubborn pop singer Katie disappears suddenly from Seoul one night, abandoning both a career and her steadfast boyfriend Park Jae-sung. The guilt-ridden musician must learn how to release her shame and find herself worthy of joy and love

2. Park Jae-sung (King Ja$e, KJ), the furious rapper

Three years ago, Katie deserted genius rapper Jae-sung, leaving him bitter and confused. For years, he worried that he was a monster—unworthy of love. When Katie returns to Seoul, the rapper lashes out even as he yearns for closure. How will Jae-sung find healing and absolution?

Park Dae-jung (DJ), the singer with a heart of gold

Sweetheart Dae-jung is loyal to his fellow DOYEN bandmates to a fault. But Dae-jung is cast in the same movie as Katie, he finds his loyalties tested when he finds himself falling for her. Can Dae-jung move beyond what others think and pursue his own desires?

About the book

Three years ago, Katie Wu disappeared on Park Jae-sung and broke his heart. Now, she’s back in Seoul with a tell-all memoir.

When pop singer Katie Wu returns to Seoul, her ex-boyfriend rapper Park Jae-sung demands closure. Where did she go? Why did she ghost him? Is he a monster? And why is she back?

Katie knows she has a lot to answer for, except all she wants is to reconnect with her old friends in Jae-sung’s band DOYEN, move on with her life, and explore anything other than music—like acting. But when Jae-sung’s bandmate Park Dae-jung is cast in a movie with Katie, sparks fly between the two leads. Will Dae-jung pursue Katie even if it could tear their whole band apart?

How will Katie, Jae-sung, and Dae-jung overcome their feelings of guilt and choose forgiveness for themselves and each other?

Meet Katie Wu, a singer with a martyr complex

Stubborn pop singer Katie disappears suddenly from Seoul one night, abandoning both a career and her steadfast boyfriend Park Jae-sung. The guilt-ridden musician must learn how to release her shame and find herself worthy of joy and love

2. Park Jae-sung (King Ja$e, KJ), the furious rapper

Three years ago, Katie deserted genius rapper Jae-sung, leaving him bitter and confused. For years, he worried that he was a monster—unworthy of love. When Katie returns to Seoul, the rapper lashes out even as he yearns for closure. How will Jae-sung find healing and absolution?

Park Dae-jung (DJ), the singer with a heart of gold

Sweetheart Dae-jung is loyal to his fellow DOYEN bandmates to a fault. But Dae-jung is cast in the same movie as Katie, he finds his loyalties tested when he finds himself falling for her. Can Dae-jung move beyond what others think and pursue his own desires?

About the book

Three years ago, Katie Wu disappeared on Park Jae-sung and broke his heart. Now, she’s back in Seoul with a tell-all memoir.

When pop singer Katie Wu returns to Seoul, her ex-boyfriend rapper Park Jae-sung demands closure. Where did she go? Why did she ghost him? Is he a monster? And why is she back?

Katie knows she has a lot to answer for, except all she wants is to reconnect with her old friends in Jae-sung’s band DOYEN, move on with her life, and explore anything other than music—like acting. But when Jae-sung’s bandmate Park Dae-jung is cast in a movie with Katie, sparks fly between the two leads. Will Dae-jung pursue Katie even if it could tear their whole band apart?

How will Katie, Jae-sung, and Dae-jung overcome their feelings of guilt and choose forgiveness for themselves and each other?

Meet Katie Wu, a singer with a martyr complex

Stubborn pop singer Katie disappears suddenly from Seoul one night, abandoning both a career and her steadfast boyfriend Park Jae-sung. The guilt-ridden musician must learn how to release her shame and find herself worthy of joy and love

2. Park Jae-sung (King Ja$e, KJ), the furious rapper

Three years ago, Katie deserted genius rapper Jae-sung, leaving him bitter and confused. For years, he worried that he was a monster—unworthy of love. When Katie returns to Seoul, the rapper lashes out even as he yearns for closure. How will Jae-sung find healing and absolution?

Park Dae-jung (DJ), the singer with a heart of gold

Sweetheart Dae-jung is loyal to his fellow DOYEN bandmates to a fault. But Dae-jung is cast in the same movie as Katie, he finds his loyalties tested when he finds himself falling for her. Can Dae-jung move beyond what others think and pursue his own desires?

About the book

Three years ago, Katie Wu disappeared on Park Jae-sung and broke his heart. Now, she’s back in Seoul with a tell-all memoir.

When pop singer Katie Wu returns to Seoul, her ex-boyfriend rapper Park Jae-sung demands closure. Where did she go? Why did she ghost him? Is he a monster? And why is she back?

Katie knows she has a lot to answer for, except all she wants is to reconnect with her old friends in Jae-sung’s band DOYEN, move on with her life, and explore anything other than music—like acting. But when Jae-sung’s bandmate Park Dae-jung is cast in a movie with Katie, sparks fly between the two leads. Will Dae-jung pursue Katie even if it could tear their whole band apart?

How will Katie, Jae-sung, and Dae-jung overcome their feelings of guilt and choose forgiveness for themselves and each other?

Meet Katie Wu, a singer with a martyr complex

Stubborn pop singer Katie disappears suddenly from Seoul one night, abandoning both a career and her steadfast boyfriend Park Jae-sung. The guilt-ridden musician must learn how to release her shame and find herself worthy of joy and love

2. Park Jae-sung (King Ja$e, KJ), the furious rapper

Three years ago, Katie deserted genius rapper Jae-sung, leaving him bitter and confused. For years, he worried that he was a monster—unworthy of love. When Katie returns to Seoul, the rapper lashes out even as he yearns for closure. How will Jae-sung find healing and absolution?

Park Dae-jung (DJ), the singer with a heart of gold

Sweetheart Dae-jung is loyal to his fellow DOYEN bandmates to a fault. But Dae-jung is cast in the same movie as Katie, he finds his loyalties tested when he finds himself falling for her. Can Dae-jung move beyond what others think and pursue his own desires?

About the book

Three years ago, Katie Wu disappeared on Park Jae-sung and broke his heart. Now, she’s back in Seoul with a tell-all memoir.

When pop singer Katie Wu returns to Seoul, her ex-boyfriend rapper Park Jae-sung demands closure. Where did she go? Why did she ghost him? Is he a monster? And why is she back?

Katie knows she has a lot to answer for, except all she wants is to reconnect with her old friends in Jae-sung’s band DOYEN, move on with her life, and explore anything other than music—like acting. But when Jae-sung’s bandmate Park Dae-jung is cast in a movie with Katie, sparks fly between the two leads. Will Dae-jung pursue Katie even if it could tear their whole band apart?

How will Katie, Jae-sung, and Dae-jung overcome their feelings of guilt and choose forgiveness for themselves and each other?