Ram(blings)

I flip-flop with my anger. Sometimes it is so far removed from me, like it is another person's all together. Others, I'm encompassed by it, horrifically drenched in the all comsuming rage. It is personal and as close to me as any emotion could possibly be.

I'm not angry person, just sometimes the anger that is tearing at the inside of my flesh breaks free.

ah shucks, you made me socialize and now I see the little wonders in the world and how humans are hopeful, curious creatures of light and the future is bright for us all.

The world is miserable and horrible until I socialize. Suddenly everything is beautiful and there is hope and light. As soon as I socialize I see the future, one where I'm happy and content.

"You look like you're always about to cry," Ok fr, when did you look at my 'characters-I-horribly-relate-to-that-it-physically-pains-me' list. No, I'm completely serious, stop looking at me like that and answer.

yeah, go ahead and have a bleeding heart, until you get blood loss and collapse in an alleyway

start with your mirror when making a change in the world, sure! but what do i do when my reflection isnt me? how do i convince him???

okay, yeah, maybe i am on 10 different medications that i cant say the names of, but i also have a different batman shirt for each day of the week(working in getting to a month) so im a complex person

naw pah, that's my closest friend that I consider my soul, heart, air and life yet cannot explain in words that don't make it sound romantic to them thus leaving us at a horrible place where they can leave and not understand they're taking a part of my being with them that I can never get back. I'll deal with it myself.

yes, please, observe as I froth at the mouth over this interest. As I cut myself off in conversation to point at something that is related to it, then continue like nothing. As I shake convulsively over the idea of people misunderstanding it, and thus me. Because I am my interests to a horrifying degree.

had a panic attack the other day, and as i was coming down from it i said "Wow, the psychologist was right." cuz he validated my emotions so i immediately went into self-doubt and imposters syndrome😭

ugeh I hate loving something. like yes this is great! oh wait no this sucks and isn't the way I want it to be. like, yes this is the foundation of my soul and the very culmination of being could be boiled down to how I react with this thing But it also causes the most pain in my life, and I regret learning and loving it

I can do this if I don't threaten your life, right? :3

I wish people cared more about platonic relationships.