Blossomcats

All of this could’ve sadly been avoided if I hadn’t been forced to clean the entire house before leaving for the competition.

Oh well, let’s hope I can try again and maybe win next year! As the competition was mighty scary and very very many times better than me and my little ratling!

I cried today.

I broke down crying from the overwhelming pressure of always trying to perform for people. To be up to their standards, to walk the line so that they aren’t angered by my words, my body or the thoughts within my mind. Despite the fact that they cannot see them.

I broke down because people can’t understand me. They don’t fathom or resonate to the same way and the only thing that has truly resonated. A character, song or movie. It doesn’t matter they have never truly resonated with me.

There is exceptions of course. As with most things that I say that are hyperbolic.

But I also broke down crying because I thought of my funeral. It’s silly, but I wondered what music I would want people to remember me by. What song should have to haunt them or accompany the memories of me after I’m gone?

I think it would be “Instrument of surrender” by Sea Power. From the Disco Elysium soundtrack. I just can’t help but cry when hearing the distant melancholic trumpet, as though it were a bird nearing extinction crying a mating call for a partner to never respond. And it just fills me with such a profound sadness that I just have to cry. And so I did, I cried about how people would remember me. On what I would write in a last letter as I am left to slumber within the earth, what words would I have someone speak as the song played?

But the undeniable gorgeous colors and shine within the game that makes it so that nearly everything just pops!

And ahhh!! I adore Malzeno, the music is fantastic, the aesthetic is just so perfect. The gothic choir, the dramatic organs all paired with the ruins of the citadel map and the gorgeous magenta Qurio that sorround it!? It’s just beyond perfect!! Anyways wilds is out soon! Can’t wait

But I’m not talking about traditional acting. I don’t wanna do action or stunt acting either. No no, I wanna do CREATURE acting. I wanna Mocap a monster, I wanna wear the practical suit of a massive creature. I wanna be the monster in the horror movie! So damn bad!

Because not only do I get to act as something awesome. I also get to eventually (or hopefully) capture some funny clip of said creature acting normally in between a take etc.