Poems and One Shots

Oh how wonderful it was! To talk, to bond, to love,

How we'd chat about anything and nothing all at once!

How we'd gaze at the stars at night and bask in the other’s warm presence,

My love for them as pure as a dove,

Yet it wasn't all enough,

Months pass by and yet there was already a rift created between us,

For I proved not ready, for the next step of our status,

They said they understood, that they would respect it, that they could wait,

Yet I couldn't help but see that lately they'd been more irate,

They'd lash out more, act cold and condescending,

All because of me, for leaving them still waiting and wanting,

And so I did it, I agreed, just so I can feel again their warm embrace,

And oh how I thought they'd be gentle, lavishing me with a lovey-dovey gaze,

It was foolish, even naive, to think such thoughts,

As I laid down the bed, with their hungry eyes raking over my body,

They sent me a smile, one full with teeth, thinking it'd calm me,

Yet all they did was make me feel little,

Little, weak, pathetic,

It sent a chill down my spine,

Too scared to speak up, to tell them to stop,

Oh how it hurt, how I just wanted to yell “Stop! Stop! STOP!”,

Yet I didn't tell them, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how rough they were,

Even as I tried, desperately, to signal them to stop,

they didn't see, they didn't hear, as all I did was sob,

And that's how I spent my virginity, in a world of pain and humility,

Afterwards, they fell asleep,

No gentle smile, no reassuring words, no help counting all the sheep,

For hours I stared into the ceiling,

Mind numb and eyes unseeing,

After that, they went back to being gentle, yet it wasn't the same,

Gentle eyes now twinged with darkness,

Leering at my figure like a predator, leaving me a fearful mess,

Their touches going too far, goosebumps spreading throughout my frame,

Maybe I was just overreacting, my emotions running rampant,

Maybe I romanticized it too much, thinking the experience would deepen our attachment,

Yet no matter how many reasons I made, how many excuses I had conjured,

My body never felt the same, for it knew the truth of what had occurred,

I used to think we'd love each other forever,

No love more pure than a romantic partner,

I used to believe they'd always cherish me,

Lured in by their gentle smiles and sure personality,

Time had passed,

And yet we continued to last,

Their eyes no longer gentle, now greedy and lustful,

And mine no longer bright, now dull and fearful.

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Sooo this is a much, MUCH darker poem that I made. I have absolutely no idea if I wrote this correctly, I'm genuinely sorry if I didn't and I'll take it down immediately if it's genuinely that disrespectful.

On the off-chance that it actually is kinda decent, thank GOD. This poem has been stuck in my docs forEVER and I initially intended for it to just be a short poem but then I just kept adding more and more onto it until I was like "okay yeah no this has to stop" so there's the, sort of abrupt ending?? I kinda didn't know how to end it, I planned for it to have more lamenting at the end kinda? Asking why the speaker is going through the shit they're going through? Probably end on a more darker note? But then I was like "ehh if we do that it's just gonna sit even longer in ur docs and for the love of God u need to get it out NOW." So yeah- when I was writing this I was actually wondering if I could make a sort of pair for this poem? This time in the POV of the rapist? But then laziness overtook me and I ended up not doing it-

Some parts I actually kinda liked, some parts I don't, and some parts I'm unsure of, mostly the one liners? Kind of awkward? But also kinda feels okay?? I have no idea-

Still limp on her chair, staring at the ceiling, her mind wandered. She hadn't slept in… two? three days? She could feel the consequences of craning her neck and forcing her posture straight all day with little to no breaks. She groaned and stretched her arms, maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a walk out in the Wilderness, where the sky was dark and quiet, the peace only disturbed by nature itself and whatever X and Medpoc were doing.

She jolted when a knock and a voice suddenly disrupted her musings, “Vertin, are you in there? You didn't come down to eat for dinner, is everything alright?” Oh, it was just Druvis, as a former aristocrat she had quite impeccable manners and skills whose grace matched that of a cat’s. Vertin wondered how she always managed to look and act so graceful even in times of crisis, she supposes that was just how she was taught.

Realizing she had yet to verbally reply to Druvis’ question, Vertin hastily mumbled out an answer that she hoped was loud and coherent enough to understand through the door, “Yes.” that sounded a bit flat for her, maybe she should add more, “I-I just lost track of time, I’m sorry.” that's better.

A few moments of silence pass by, “... May I come in?” After giving the affirmative, Vertin heard the click of the door before it gently swung open, revealing the former aristocrat in her nightgown. The moment she laid eyes on Vertin's tired form she frowned, “You haven't been taking proper care of yourself again, have you?” Her silence and guilty look only confirmed what was already known.

Sighing softly like a disappointed mother, she beckoned her to the living room, turning only a few lights on just enough to see everything clearly but not enough to further burn her already burning eyes, she led her to the couch, “Sit.” So Vertin sat as the brunette went to the kitchen counter and prepared some tea, it smelled quite nice, relaxing and calming, was that chamomile? She didn't realize she was dozing off until the former aristocrat sat down beside her, “drink this, it'll help you sleep better.”

Holding the warm cup in her hands she takes the time to appreciate the gentle heat and the pleasant smell it gives her before taking a sip, hm, it tasted a bit off, the thought was temporarily pushed aside as her tea companion asked, “How are you feeling?” she thought for a bit before responding, “Better, actually, more relaxed.”

Druvis hummed at that, hand under her chin in a thoughtful pose, mumbling something that Vertin could only hear in bits and pieces, “Med-… do… -onders.” she perked up a little at that.

“Hm? What was that?” She asked.

“Nothing, nothing.” Her suspicious friend immediately deflected.

If it weren't for the sleep deprivation she may have prodded a bit more, but as it turns out the lack of sleep made her more unwilling to do much of anything, so instead she just opted for eyeing the former aristocrat skeptically while she took a few more sips of her tea, it still tasted off, why was it that she was getting more tired as the seconds passed by?

She let out a yawn.

“Tired?” Her friend asked.

She nodded, letting out another yawn, “Yes, I think it's time I return to-” Druvis stood to help her up, “-my office to finish the papers.” And immediately pulled her back down, “No, lay down. Now.” And now they were in this situation:

With Vertin's head laying onto Druvis’ lap while she kept a firm but gentle grip on her head to keep her in place and prevent her from escaping, “You have to sleep Vertin, you're only 16.” Her friend said while petting her head, hm, that feels nice.

“... I have work to do?..” She earned an unimpressed stare at that, “You've passed a paper 5 months late once, I'm sure the Foundation would be able to handle a day late paper.” Then, her tone softened,

“You should sleep Vertin, I will be here when you wake up.”

“... Okay.”

It took only a matter of minutes for Vertin to finally sleep, eyes fluttering close to the sound of birds and crickets outside chirping, to the comforting touch of a trusted friend. For the first time in a while, Vertin managed to get a good night's rest.

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜

Hi I've come back from the dead :DD, I have an incredibly spontaneous motivation okay- so obviously I got into Reverse 1999 recently, and now that I've read most of the fics in ao3 that suits my taste in this fandom, kinda disappointed that there's so few fics about Vertin and Druvis, they give me so much mother-daughter/older sister-younger sister vibes y'all why are people sleeping on that😭😭.

Used to, Used to, Used to,

I used to love her, until she noticed me,

A different glint in her eyes, a different smile,

Her eyes once shining like diamonds, now replaced with a sickening blue vile,

Her grins and chuckles, once soothing now makes shivers run down my spine,

I feel fear, and something else, bloom inside me everytime,

"How could someone look so innocent?" I thought, remembering all the times she reminded me of a bunny,

Now I'm the bunny, me,

Skittering and hopping as I try to find a way out,

And she is the wolf, running and laughing, chasing me down,

It's as if we've become nothing but predator and prey, like a repetitive theater play,

I run, she hunts,

I plead, she feeds,

I hope, and I hope, and I hope,

But as she catches me again, and again, and again,

I can feel that hope inside me become naught but a tiny flame,

And as a sense of hopelessness fills me, I feel another emotion take place,

Attraction, Adoration, Love,

Oh how I loathed myself when I realized,

How I wanted to run for the hills and scream when I recognized, as if my feelings felt compromised,

How I wanted to ask God himself, "why? Why did this happen? What sin did I do to let this happen?"

But of course, no one had answered me, not even God himself,

Because why would they? Why would they answer to a hopeless romantic that fell in love with their captive?

And yet no matter how much I try,

No matter how many of those signs that I deny,

I still find myself craving her touch, her attention,

Even when I know that good is not within her intentions,

I still love her, but it will never be the same,

I will never feel the same flame that I felt,

Rather, the new flame burns me to the touch,

This love is different, malicious, toxic to the touch,

In the end, I'll always love her,

And I suppose she, too, knows,

She knows I would never leave her, never harm her, never hate her, not truly,

And isn't that just such a comedy?

To still love the one that has harmed me most?

I just hope that she loves me in the way that I love her.

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My 2nd poem, I'll probably slow down after this post so don't expect me to post poems daily- I'm very spontaneous with writing literature.

I was curious, I was confused, I was amazed,

I had never been able to feel, see, nor touch such things before!

The new and exciting features that I've gained had left me speechless and dazed,

Oh how it left me wanting for more!

I was ecstatic, but I was also lonely,

I hadn't come across anyone at all, if only,

I craved companionship from something that hasn't existed yet,

Without it, I felt as if my whole world had been offset,

But then a curious little thing approached me,

It crawled on four legs and babbled on happily,

That was how I first met you, when you were just a baby,

Modern people may judge me for it,

But this was centuries ago, it was when laws and rules didn't exist,

And so I fell in love at first sight,

By the first creature that I met with my own two eyes,

And as I got to know you better,

We bonded, like polar opposites to one another,

And as we chatted more and more,

I fell in love with you with fervour,

But as time passed on, and days, turned to weeks, turned to months, and then turned to years passed by us,

We both notice something,

I was still as fresh as a gust, and you were as old as the sea,

And oh how that scared me,

How the realization stung,

That out of the both of us who'd die first, it wouldn't be me,

More days, weeks, months, and years pass by,

You were the first to accept that fact,

While I took more time to act,

And yet, as it finally happened, I still mourned your soul, your personality and your presence,

If I had more time, I would've showered you with even more presents,

Even so, even if you're no longer here,

I still like to think that you're watching over me,

That there is a God and that you're living your afterlife with no fear,

I just wish that that same God would also set me free.

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