Hallo! My name is Fawn (they/she/fae), I’m a lesbian artist and writer who loves everything morbid, especially creepypasta. You can find me elsewhere here:
@para-archives (creepypasta AU blog)
bloody_heartstrings on Wattpad (fanfics)
tragicallyverdant on Instagram
Please feel free to send me asks!
However, please do not dm me unless we’re mutuals and have interacted previously, I’m very shy. I also have ASD, so please be mindful of that.
Creepypasta links
I am the creator of Lexi Kills and her home CRP AU, Para-Archives! All relevant links, characters and projects are listed below.
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I really want to give Masky and Hoodie different names in my AU (not Tim and Brian, since they're separate people) for the sole reason that they'd tell Lexi their names and she would immediately be like, "I'm not calling you that".
Maybe she gives them nicknames. John Mask and John Hood.
How to not stereotype Tourette’s (from someone who has it) PART ONE
PART 2 | PART 3
I felt inspired to write this post because a lot of people will write characters like Ticci Toby in an unfortunately stereotypical way, especially with the types of tics they give him and how they are portrayed. So I wanted to make a guide to hopefully help people change that!
This will be long, fair warning.
HOW TICS FORM:
First off, tics can develop for many different reasons when you have Tourette’s. Sometimes they come about randomly, sometimes they’re connected to something you do. (For example I developed tics from drawing and playing mobile games often, as well as due to certain conditions such as sensory processing disorder.)
They can also change over time. The tics I have now at 19 are very different to the tics I had at 12. Some can last for a very long time (like how I’ve had a nose scrunching tic since I was a young child) while others can form and disappear over the course of a few months to a few years.
The severity of your tics can change over time as well. You can have periods of only having a few minor tics to then developing many much larger more noticeable tics, then back to minor ones. This of course changes from person to person depending on the severity of their condition. Some will have minor tics for the majority of their life and others may have debilitating ones, others a mix of both. It’s very fluid and presents in many different ways.
HOW TICS CAN GET TRIGGERED:
Now, as for how they get triggered, that can be for many, MANY different reasons. Tics in general can be very sensitive and can get triggered from just talking or even thinking about them. They can also get worse with stronger emotions, louder environments, or stressful situations. Many are present all throughout the day, but certain tics will only come about under certain conditions.
For example, I have developed a tic where whenever I am drawing with my tablet I will press my pen down into the screen as hard as I can (yes, this has damaged both my tablet and my pen 🥲). It doesn’t happen when I’m writing, or when I’m drawing on paper, only when I’m using specifically my drawing tablet.
But there are many other minor things that can trigger different tics or make the constant ones get worse. Some people will get triggered from certain lights or sounds. Sometimes even certain colors can be a trigger! It can all get very specific and I heavily encourage you to do your own research if you want to include tics like that in your story/character/etc.
Pretty please can we get some EJ x Lexi *bats lashes*
Ask and you shall receive…
Lexi is struggling to accept what her life has become. Parasites, immortality, never going back home… it’s too much for her to handle. At least she has someone who understands. Someone who would never hurt her… right?
CW: references to murder, references to parental abuse, mentions of cannibalism, human hunting (just trust me)
Time is a funny thing.
Kind, yet cruel. It heals, but it also rots. A never-ending force, one that propels you forward regardless of how deep you dig your heels. Tough love, in a way. Although Lexi wasn't sure time was something that could love. To her, it had always been devastatingly indifferent. Continuing onwards, leaving her soul in the past, lugging her lifeless body along with it. It wasn't personal—that's just how it is; she knew that. Blaming a force of nature was foolish and a waste of breath.
Blaming an abomination of nature, however, was not. After all, that was what truly got her in this mess—that… thing. Once, she had thought it was beautiful. With its twisted roots and rock for bone, gnarled vines for muscle, moss and fungi for skin. Visually, it was nature incarnate. Yet behaviourally—well, it was enough to make Lexi consider rebuking her atheism, as calling it the devil didn't hold enough weight without the presence of a god. It had torn her from all she knew, splintered and shattered her, then pieced her back together. And when Lexi awoke on that snowy night, she was just as much of a monster as her creator.
Infected. Murderous. Rotten.
Those like her weren't exactly accepting. Not that she wished for their pity—god, did she despise them. So instinctively that she knew the hatred wasn't her own, but rather one that had been carved into her. Or rather, implanted. But the nicer of her kind had told her to trust time. That once she settled into her immortality, the blood on her hands wouldn't linger as much. What a disgusting idea, that time would rip away her morality, her empathy. Lexi swore that she would never become like them. Soulless and subservient.
Promising herself such things made the fear easier to cope with. But when the sun set and the manor grew quiet, there was nothing to distract her from the terror. It certainly didn't help that the others were growing impatient with her—the goggled boy, Toby, had started hiding bugs in her shoes, which she had misinterpreted as presents at first. As for the masked girl, Kate, she did everything she could to encourage Lexi to 'tag along' on 'missions'. What a concept—calling a killing spree a mission. But the worst of them all was the masked man. That fury was bad in itself, but alongside his stature and deep voice, it was hauntingly familiar. Too familiar.
Perhaps it was the reminder of her stepfather that led her to flee the manor. Or maybe it was the fact that, in a disgusting way, she wished it was her stepfather instead of the masked man. At least that way, she would be back home, where she could escape to her room that smelt of dried flowers and moss. But there was no bedroom to flee to, at least not one that felt like hers. No matter what she did—stuffing the shelves with antlers, plastering the walls with exoskeletons, filling her drawers with bones—she couldn't replicate the sanctuary of home. So she ran to what was familiar.
The sun hadn't set completely, staining the forest a moody blue. Despite the fact that spring had long since begun—evident in the green buds forming along the prongs of bare trees—it was absolutely freezing. In the air, Lexi's rapid breaths fogged as she paced back and forth, so thick it looked nearly solid. She had been out there for an hour. Only a few had come out to try to lure her back inside—Namely Kate, who had been out twice now, flanked the second time by Toby. Who, obviously, had only made matters worse with his mocking. God, how she hated him. How she hated this place. Lexi collapsed against the trunk of a tree, digging her nails into the wool of her fair isle sweater.
Don't cry, she reminded herself; it won't fix anything.
Which did little, as heat swam to her cheeks, the forest around her becoming a blue, meaningless blur. Just as she was about to admit defeat, a cracking of sticks splintered her solitude. Swallowing a yelp, Lexi reared up, wiping at her eyes with such aggression that the wool bit at her eyelids. Once her vision was cleared, she swivelled, searching the dark for the invader. From the treeline, Jack appeared, clad mostly in black, save for his blue mask. Not hard to miss, considering his size—but Lexi knew that was only because he wanted to be seen. Once he recognised he had been spotted, Jack inched closer, holding his clawed hands up. It's okay.
Like hell it was.
Attempting to stifle her sniffling, Lexi mumbled, "What?"
"It's alright," Jack's voice came in a rumble, one that bordered on inhuman. "I'm just checking on you."
"I'm fine," Lexi huffed, scuffing her feet against the grainy earth. "I'm just… getting some air."
"It's freezing out here, Lex'," Jack pointed out as he took a slight, subtle step closer. "Your lips are going blue."
"So are yours," Lexi mocked.
"Har har," Sniped Jack, although he didn't sound overly annoyed. "Seriously, they are. Look, I'll make you some tea, and we can sit in my room and talk about it. Just come inside."
Kate was easy to resist. Toby was even easier—hell, if anything, it was harder to resist strangling him than it was to listen to him. But Jack was where it got difficult. Unlike the others, his concern felt genuine. Because it was. Only four months had passed since Lexi had been stolen from all that she had known, and within those few months, she had met many horrifying individuals. Mind slaves like herself, but also serial killers, vengeful spirits and monsters. When she had met Jack, on a night much like this one, she had thought him the latter. He certainly looked the part, especially then, considering he had just returned from a hunt and had the bloodstains to show for it. Yet somehow, he was the only one Lexi couldn't consider a monster. Unlike the others, he shared Lexi's resilient empathy, despite his nature.
And less importantly, Jack had made a true effort with her. No fluffy words and empty promises that would lead her to do what he wanted—but rather comfort. True comfort. Strange, how he was able to do so without her ever seeing his face. At first, it had been a great relief for Lexi, to have someone like that. But now, specifically that very second, it was wildly irritating. He always knew what to say to get her to calm down, and frankly, Lexi didn't want to. She'd rather wait for the Rake to find her and maul her to pieces. At least then she could scream until her throat went hoarse without being called dramatic. So, stubbornly, Lexi shrank in on herself and stepped further towards the heart of the forest, where the trees grew thick and dense.
Much to her annoyance, Jack sensed her plot.
"Lexi," Jack said, his tone soft, yet warning, "You know I'll catch you."
Well, that was one aspect of her parasite that Lexi didn't hate completely—the abilities. As for every bit of stamina Jack had, Lexi had twice as much.
She was gone well before Jack had time to react. Leaves crunched beneath her feet as Lexi flew through the trees, her lungs rasping for air she knew they didn't need. There was nowhere to go. Even if there was, it wasn't like she could go there. Not when everyone in the country knew her face, knew her shame. She just wanted to get away, to cling to her last shred of free will, to escape her fate for a while. In a matter of seconds, Lexi had cleared the sparse edge of the forest, the shadows of the thick oaks and evergreens swallowing her whole. Green danced at the edges of her vision, fat tongues of ferns licking at her arms, brambles nicking at her shoes. Like always, the forest leaned into her, embraced her, welcomed her. The trees would know her anywhere.
"Lexi!" Jack bellowed, "Lexi, stop!"
Behind her, she could hear the steady, monstrous thumps of Jack in pursuit. What was it like, she wondered, to be his prey? To run from him, make it a game for him, knowing deep down there was no escaping your fate. Knowing that either you'd know his teeth then, or later, when you'd be too exhausted even to scream. At least she had the promise that he would never harm her, only drag her back to her pitiful excuse for a reality.
…Right?
As Lexi ran, weaving through thick trunks and hurling down hills, she forced herself to listen past the sounds of her own escape. Panting—no, growling. Not the quiet kind of noise that a mountain lion would make when stalking a deer. But rather those of a bear who knows that their prey is guaranteed. They just had to wait for it to get tired. With that heavy, chilling thought, all of Lexi's courage evaporated. By now, she knew very well that she was immortal and had become acquainted with her regeneration abilities. Jack eating her wouldn't kill her—that wasn't what frightened Lexi. In fact, it was the opposite.
What reason would he have to stop if his prey only grew back the flesh that he tore off?
Nobody wanted to endure that. Nobody wanted to feel teeth rip into them, again and again, watch themselves be eaten like a slab of beef, and know that not even death was coming to save them. As the edges of Lexi's vision darkened, she made the foolish, instinctive choice to look over her shoulder. What remained of the sunlight had now melted from the sky, plunging the forest into a darkness that even her enhanced eyesight could barely penetrate. Yet, even so, it was impossible to miss the dark mass tearing through the undergrowth, ripping up bark and dirt in its wake. In pursuit of her.
A root snagged at Lexi's foot.
Grit and sticks shredded at her skin as Lexi plummeted, her momentum sending her hurtling across the forest floor. A cry broke from her throat as pain bloomed across her body, her hands already scrambling for purchase against the earth. Adrenaline thundered through her veins, which, for her, should have made the escape easy. But the raw terror overthrew all her instinct, all her reason. How familiar it felt, to be prey. And how ironic it was, to still be prey even after being forced to the top of the food chain. As Jack descended upon her, Lexi cried out, hot tears burning at the corners of her eyes. Claws dug at her upper arm, flipping her onto her back with such force that Lexi barely had time to curl in on herself—exposing her meaty side.
CRACK.
Lexi's knuckles stung. Had he bitten at her hand first? Strange choice, but she supposed it made sense. That way, she couldn't fight him off. But as a blur of blue darted across her vision and hot breath hit her face, Lexi realised Jack hadn't attacked her. Yet. Rather, she had attacked him. From above, something hot and thick rained down, splattering across her face in fat droplets. And when she searched for the source, Lexi found herself staring up at an unfamiliar face. Pitch-black eyes—like an arachnid—looked back, glazed and oozing an odd, tar-like liquid. But that wasn't what was dripping across her face. It was drool. Teeth, sharp as a shark's, parted in a hungry snarl, huffing out breath so hot it turned to smoke in the night air. So slick with saliva that it barely stayed in his mouth.
He looked horrifying.
But as their eyes met, Lexi felt no fear. Only eerie peace. Trailing her eyes across his scowling features, she drank it all in—his squared jawline, his long, sticky eyelashes, the small mole beneath his left eye. So, that was what he looked like. Even in the state he was in, his face darkened by instinct, it was difficult to be scared of him. This was the face that had listened to her gripes, that had soothed her fears, that had chased away her nightmares.
Laid out against the forest floor, Lexi asked hoarsely, "Are you going to eat me?"
No reply. At least not verbally, not immediately. At first, Lexi had thought her question had only made him hungrier, as the creases between his eyebrows and beneath his eyes deepened, a rabid tension that was disturbingly out of place for him. He looked starved, as if he hadn't eaten in weeks, despite the stench of fresh guts that still clung to his clothes. A growl—or a breath so laboured it sounded like one—broke between his clenched teeth, and abruptly, the shadow lifted. The tension that had furrowed his brow dissolved, his shoulders slacking as his animalistic hunger gave way to deep, consuming guilt.
"No," He finally panted out, "No, I wouldn't—"
His denial died in his mouth as Jack lifted himself off of Lexi, his black gaze staring aimlessly into the trees. It had been a reflex to deny it—he didn't want to eat Lexi, but that didn't mean he wouldn't. Funny, how he couldn't lie to her, but could chase her like a wolf would a rabbit. After a brief, thick silence, Jack turned back to Lexi, scooping his hands beneath her back and positioning her upright. Immoderately gentle, as if doing so would undo what had just transpired. Shame muddled his features as he scanned her over, even after he found nothing but dirt stains.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" He asked anyway, his hands still hovering at her shoulders.
"No," Lexi assured him, hugging herself tightly. Whether it was because of the temperature or the situation, she wasn't sure.
Jack seemed to notice, as her reassurance did little to relieve his guilt. He retracted his hands, yet seemed unsure of what to do with them. "Lexi, I'm so sorry."
"It's fine—"
"No, it's not," Jack interjected sharply. "I tried to… God, Lexi, I tried to eat you. That isn't okay."
While confirmation wasn't needed, it certainly didn't help relieve the knot in Lexi's gut. Sure, she hadn't particularly feared Jack towards the end, but accepting her fate, no matter how gory, when faced with someone she cared about wasn't new to her. After all, what had ultimately gotten her trapped in such a horror of an existence was her love for Nia. Hesitantly, Lexi assessed Jack once more. Now his face was rid of hunger, he looked quite different. Soft, despite his strong features and knotted brows. A face that matched the Jack she knew.
How many times had she forgotten her own strength around him in a moment of anger? Torn his door from its hinges when attempting to open it, smashed a glass from simply tightening her grip, almost broke his ribs when pushing him away? All those instances, and many more, were always met with immediate forgiveness. Even those like her didn't offer her such grace. She was like a baby granted the power of a god, even though she didn't even know how to walk, and only Jack offered her his hands. What reason did she have not to offer him hers?
"Why did you?" Lexi asked, forcing the tremble from her voice, "Try to eat me, I mean?"
Jack was silent for a moment as he gnawed on his lower lip, but eventually turned to her cautiously. "I didn't want to. I promise, Lexi. It just… Chasing you just triggered something. For a second, I forgot it was even you."
"Well…"
Lexi trailed off, cupping her hands to her mouth, warming her fingers with her breath. Now that her adrenaline was fizzling out, the false warmth went with it, leaving her vulnerable to the chill of the night. It made it difficult to think—or at least that was the reason she settled on.
"…I'm not angry at you, Jack." Lexi finished.
"It just makes it worse that it was you," Jack mumbled, so low Lexi would have missed it if he didn't have her undivided attention.
Lexi's brow furrowed. "Why?"
From the expression she got in return, Lexi presumed Jack wished she hadn't heard him at all. With trained delicacy, he took her hands from her mouth, folding them between his own. Lexi swallowed a shudder. Not out of disgust, but surprise, as Jack was warm. Inhumanely so. The kind of penetrating warmth you only find in hot sand and a freshly run bath. It spread through her numb fingers as if the sun itself were embracing them. At the foreign affection, Lexi felt heat scale her neck, invading the cold flesh of her face.
"I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to save people, not kill them," Jack began, thumbs stroking circles into the backs of Lexi's hands. "And I know I can't save you, but… Well, you mean a lot to me, Lexi. I'd do anything to make your life easier, to keep you safe. It's the only thing I'd want to kill for."
Lexi glanced down at their hands, then back up to Jack's face—a vision of sincerity. Suddenly, the cold wasn't bothering her as much. If anything, she felt too warm. Yet the last thing she wanted to do was free her hands from his. Was it desperation for connection? Or was it deeper than that? Guilt suddenly ate at Lexi's gut at the thought. Four months had passed since she last felt such inner warmth, such connection. Since she last heard Jude's voice. And while there was no chance she would ever hear it again, the guilt still stuck, stubborn and unyielding. Or perhaps it was hope that she would hear it again. Hear his laugh, hear his stupid jokes, hear how he would always drag out the end of her name like it was a song. Foolish and pointless, but hope all the same.
Cold air nipped at Lexi's hands as she took them back. "I can forgive you, Jack, but that's all I can give you."
"I know," He replied, yet his hands still hovered, cupped and empty. "I just wanted you to hear it."
After that, Jack stood, reclaiming his mask from where Lexi had banished it. This time, he didn't have to ask Lexi to follow him back to the manor. The forest reminded her too much of home, anyway—of dried flowers and a boy she'd never see again.
Someone come up with a ship name because I’m not very good at it icl
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i saw you say lexi can catch feelings even if they kill sooo thoughts on ticcikills fake dating proxy au where their forced to go undercover as a couple who just moved to a rural town so they can gain the trust and get info off of someone who lives there?
also can i be 🪰 anon :p
Awww thank you!! And FAKE DATING AU OH MY GODDD
You guys have such good ideas. I need to get you guys on a board or something. The Council of Fanfic Ideas.
Unironically I would actually write this I’m already having ideas. Some rural Appalachian town that’s semi-close-knit, but the person they’re trying to get information from is old, rich and keeps to themselves. Lexi has to force herself to be social because this mission is super fucking serious and her parasite is forcing her to give a fuck. Many thoughts…
Also yes I love emoji anons... It helps me keep track because lowkey I can’t tell when I have frequent anons 😭😭 when it comes to text I have shitty pattern recognition.
Hi again :3 back with some random questions teehee (also I'm always lurking and still active on my art blog - @ artsartblog - just hella inconsistent lol)
If Lexi were a game, what game would she be?
Actually if everyone of your characters was a game, what game would they be?
This is an amazing question, and I had to really think about it. I'm basing it on their characterisation rather than what they actually like to play.
I think Lexi would be a gothic horror game, like the Castlevania franchise or The Last Of Us. Maybe even RDR II, specifically because the foraging and wildlife aspects remind me a lot of her.
Jude would definitely be some laid-back, creative 2000s shit like Minecraft, or an RPG like Delta Green. Hell, maybe even DnD, who says it needs to be a video game?
Nia is any flash dress-up game ever. Specifically, those you'd play on Girls Go Games or any similar site. Or the Bratz games.
Shattered Sam (mythical pull I know) would be chess.
As for what they'd actually like to play, Lexi and Jude loved to play games together. Halo, Mortal Kombat, Dungeon Defenders and Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance were a few of their favourites. As a proxy, Lexi just plays whatever BEN is willing to lend her, which is mostly Super Mario. He did give her The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword once, and she loved that.
Nia has bigger fish to fry, but before her zombification, she would secretly play Kingdom Hearts on her little brother's console. She also dabbled in The Sims.
Shattered Sam plays poker on the computer, and that's literally it.
I've actually made a few posts before with anatomy tips. I'll list them below:
1, 2, 3, 4
I hope these helped! If you have any specific questions that aren't covered in the above posts, just send me an ask, and I'll do my best to help out :)
What if Nia became a proxy in the end instead of Lexi?
Major spoilers for Lexi's origin towards the end btw :)
I've actually thought about this quite a bit before!
So, as I've briefly explained before (here), Nia wouldn't be able to be an actual proxy because of how the parasites work. In canon, even the mere mental intrusion was enough to drive her insane, which is why she acts the way that she does in the end. However, there is definitely a scenario where she could have become one.
Which is if Lexi never returned from Montana. Eventually, The Wrangled would have grown impatient, but wouldn't want to leave empty-handed. So, even though he had already driven Nia insane, he would have infected her with one of his parasites and taken her instead.
In this situation, Nia would not be a good proxy.
Kill-wise, she'd be great. Nia had already become quite homicidal even before Lexi's return to Twisp, so she'd have no problem fulfilling The Wrangled's wishes. And quite effectively, too, as her fighting style would be very unhinged and violent.
But one thing about the parasite is that it requires a very specific brain to function properly. Since Nia's brain would already be shredded from The Wrangled's prior involvement, any mental effects that come along with the parasite would be warped. Most importantly, the wired-in aggression towards other proxies. This is intended to keep them from binding together against The Wrangled, and also to kill off any weaker proxies. But with Nia, it would be way too powerful.
Getting her to work with her colleagues would genuinely be impossible, as her hatred for them would be too strong to ignore, and she'd end up trying to kill them instead. Which, as we already know, none of them would take kindly to. Ultimately, I think the other proxies would get sick of her constantly trying to take them out, declare a truce and come together to kill her.
If not that, she'd become so fixated on hunting Lexi down that she'd abandon any mission she was assigned, which would eventually get her taken out by the big guy. Even as a Wrangled proxy, Nia would still have such a deep obsession with Lexi, although it'd be a bit different since Lexi would never have killed Nia in this version. Less vengeful, more complicated.
Although I do wonder if The Wrangled would let her do so, only so he could finally get his hands on Lexi. After all, Lexi was already infected with a parasite when she went to Montana; it was just dormant! So Lexi would always be in the back of The Wrangled's mind, even if he had to give up on her. Especially since he's never lost a prospectual proxy before.
Ultimately, I think the plot I have planned would go much differently. Lexi is a unique proxy, as she's the only one who hates The Wrangled and is brave enough to actually do something about it, and for selfless reasons. Without a proxy like her, the plot wouldn't work at all.
AU of highschool ticcikills AU where slendy takes Toby and leaves Lexi. Toby loses his memories but he kinda remembers Lexi in a way so hes obsessed asf with this random girl but he doesnt know why
You guys really get me. Did you know that.
One of my guilty pleasures is yearning that’s a little bit toxic and one-sided. I say one-sided because Lexi would be like “bro you fucking killed your dad. You’re a serial killer.” meanwhile Toby is gnawing at the wall trying to figure out why he cares so much about a girl he supposedly hasn’t met before.
Everyone’s just confused and there’s a lot of tension and I snort it like crack.
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