i am standing in the ashes of who i used to be ;

I need challenges to live, though. 

Well there are challenges in this, they just don’t involve dirt. Or dead things. Ancient things, yes, but it’s not all daisies and pencil skirts.

[ he makes an affronted face, nose all scrunched. ] You’re welcome. 

Scents, oils. Never hands. 

[ he hums ] 

Definitely what heirs do. I’d know, I was one. 

[ “i thought hands hold things.” ]

Inside of, not in.

[ beni bounces. “i knew it!” he taps sirius’ shoulder several times. “i think we turn here. your feet are-- no, your legs are longer than mine.” 

cassie nods and points ] 

Right here, yeah. I’ll have to look to find a hoop, though, I don’t think we have one lying around.

I can’t say not having to spend weeks in the desert wouldn’t be good. 

It’s a good idea. And it’d be nice to have another woman in the office. You’d do well there, and you wouldn’t even have to go crawling around in the dirt somewhere. What d’you say?

Very commonplace lame, you’re welcome. [ he scoffs ] Because it’s better that way. There are so many varieties of chocolate out there. And candies. And sweets. 

Very important. 

Not quite as tan, but just about. My Dad was from Italy. Mum’s french. You … probably know this, don’t you. 

[ he squints ] 

[ she sticks her tongue out at him, which seems more appropriate than a rude hand gesture, even though beni wouldn’t be able to see it ] Thanks so much for that. 

[ beni’s brows furrow. “why would you put things in candles? that sounds dangerous.” ]

Beni can go back three generations at least in every pureblood family in the Twenty-Eight. Because apparently that’s what heirs do... [ she gives sirius a look that pleads for him to go along with it at the very least, though encouraging it would be nice. it’s a distraction. and a desperately needed if not entirely useless one.

beni nods. “it is, right, sirius?” ]

Plenty of people don’t know how. Sure, it’s pretty lame, but it’s a commonplace lame. Not like not liking peanut butter in your chocolate, that’s full level lame. Or mint in your chocolate. Or things in your chocolate. I did try roses once, don’t do that. 

I didn’t. I used a sunblocking charm, very important. 

[ sirius grins, bouncing beni as he walks ] 

I’m pretty tan as it is. 

Oh, good to know that I’m commonplace lame, thank you, Sirius. 

[ she can’t be mad as beni giggles at it, though, entire face scrunching and his thin shoulders bouncing. “why do you put things in your chocolate? that’s gross.” 

his brows shoot up. “sunblocking charm? avispa--?” ]

It protects your skin from the sun, so it doesn’t get all burnt and hurt. 

[ beni’s mouth makes an “O” shape before he says “cool!” and turns back to sirius, giggling again as sirius bounces him. “are you as tan as me?” he asks, sticking out his arm for sirius to examine. “we’re tan too, right?” ]

Kind of, I guess you could say. I think we’re about the same. 

She sighed heavily, putting her hand on Cas’ arm. “Barty’s the first person you can see yourself with. That doesn’t mean he’ll be the last. It’s a sign, Cas. That you’re able to see a future with someone who isn’t Regulus. This is a good step, even if it doesn’t feel like it.”  She shook her head, pulling her into a hug. “We both know that’s not true. On both accounts. You can, you just need time. And you should abstain from the idea of arranged marriages after watching me try them.”

[ she sighs heavily and rubs her hand over her face ] It feels horrible. I just want something to feel good, but it feels awful. [ she shakes her head ] Am I? It would’ve been easier. And they work out for some people. Not that it matters now. But would it be that awful, ultimately? I have the option to get what I want and not care if he dies, then. 

“Lily is different.” The worst are quick and defensive, and he shakes his head almost immediately. “I understand it. I’m just trying to help you. I don’t understand why you don’t see that.”

You’re full of shit, Sev. That’s why. You’re such a hypocrite. 

[ he looks at the floor for a moment before answering ] Yes. It was.

[ she frowns at him ] I know you’re not going to accept my help or answer my questions, but if there is anything I can do... and no, this isn’t an evil scheme. Dragonpox? My abuela got it a few years ago, I think she was about the same age as your parents. It’s pretty common.

You’re coming in the air with us? 

[ he raises a brow at her ] 

What if I wanted you grounded to hold a big hoop over your head? 

[ he stands, still holding beni ] It was a honeymoon, of course we had fun. It was brilliant fun. Sun for days. 

Oh, no. I can’t-- I don’t fly. 

[ beni leans over so he can whisper in sirius’ ear “she doesn’t know how.” he seems to sense the scowl cassie is giving him, and grins bashfully in her direction. “sorry.” ]

Not everyone’s lucky enough to have Sirius come over and teach them, Beni.

[ she puts her hand on sirius’ shoulder momentarily just to get them walking, listening to sirius and beni with amusement as they walk.

“you went somewhere cool? did you get a tan?” ]

Is that an offer to have your behind kicked? 

It’s an offer to let you kick other people’s behinds. And to work somewhere you’ll be valued and never bored. 

I don’t see why not. If your sister says yes, that is. 

[ he holds him close, one hand on his back. 

he can do this, he thinks, if lily and james kid turns out like beni. and of course they would, because it’s lily and james, and any kid of theirs - 

he kisses the top of beni’s head again ] 

I’m sorry it took me so long. 

[ she sighs, but she’s smiling ] 

Who am I to deny you your fun? Alright, fine, but I’m coming with you.

[ “yes!” beni bounces in sirius’ arms, grinning. “mariposa, is remus okay? did you have fun?” ]

It is, occasionally, yes. It’s not like I can change it. 

Sure you can. You could come work with me instead. 

Course I came. 

[ he scoops him up and presses kisses to the top of his head ] 

I don’t quit my promises. 

[ beni squeals with laughter, and cassie grins widely at the two of them. her brothers, the only family she’s got left. beni traces sirius’ nose with his hand and continues to giggle. 

“are you going to take me flying? avispa said you’d take me.” ]

I said we’d talk about it, Beni, don’t get ahead of yourself. 

[ beni’s voice drops to a whisper as his little face scrunches. “pleeease?” ]

[ he wants to tell her that’s not who i am, but actually, it is. he’ll keep her away from mary no matter what it costs him, and if james can’t deal with it, then he’ll do that too. 

whatever he needs to do. he doesn’t get a chance to say any of it, anyway. ] 

Beni! [ he crouches with his arms out ] Right in front of you, mate. 

Ten steps, Abejorro, don’t club him in the nose. [ she grins as beni jumps into sirius’ arms with a shout of delight. “you came! avispa said you were going to!” ] Of course he did; you asked me to ask him.

“That’s not it. It’s not that simple but I do think you should let yourself have a shot at happiness.” She shook her head almost instantly. “But it’s not. Cassie, it’s not and focusing on what should be happening right now, where you should be in your life – it will drive you insane. You will lose everything because you won’t allow anything else in your life because it isn’t what you think you should have been. I love you, Cassie. It breaks my heart that you have to go through this everyday. And I can’t even begin to understand your pain. But getting consumed in what should have been will destroy any chance you have at even being happy enough.”

I don’t want to give up on what I want, though. I still want marriage, and kids, and Barty’s the first person since-- that I thought maybe could-- but he doesn’t want any of that! [ the words are painfully resigned, even as she smiles and shrugs helplessly ] I should’ve just let my parents arrange a marriage for me. I clearly can’t do this for myself. 

I definitely do. My entire life is ancient curses and the odd, you know. 

That sounds hilariously boring, thus proving my point.