Captainās Log
Stardate 20251102
Flashback
What follows is the progression of my mental state in the past few months.Ā I did not write much for myself, but what I have written is telling.
August
The Neverending Journey
Iām a big fan of the book The Nevereding Story by Michael Ende.Ā In the story, a young man is given a simple command: Do What You Wish.Ā What he doesnāt know is that he has a finite number of wishes, and he must find his lifeās purpose before the wishes run out.Ā After every wish, he loses the memory of what he was like before.Ā Those who can no longer remember themselves live in the City of Old Emperors where they pursue meaningless goals for the rest of their days.
I like this story because itās so real.Ā Knowing what you really wish is not easy, and having the courage to let go of what you have been as you reach for something new even more difficult.Ā It may not turn out the way you thought, but you change and learn more about who you are becoming.Ā
I think we are all going from wish to wish, some wise, some foolish, but each one brings us closer to our true character.Ā Will we find our purpose before our wishes run out?Ā I donāt know, but we canāt move forward without wishing.
Do What You Wish.Ā
September
The Chronicles of Prydain
I was reading the Chronicles of Prydain to my youngest last night.Ā The series is one I discovered in college and have treasured ever since.Ā It is a coming of age story that doesnāt sugar-coat the process.Ā It is a story in which choices have consequences and the hero doesnāt always choose correctly; the road to maturity is not a straight one.
We are nearing the end of the last book, and the companions were caught in a snow storm.Ā Without warmth, they would all die, so the musician of the group decided to burn the only thing he hadāhis beloved harp.Ā It was not enough wood to make more than a small fire, but magically sustained by the love that drove the sacrifice, the harp burned bright all through the storm.Ā When it was over, the only thing left was a single, golden string.
This story is so beautiful because it pierces your heart.Ā You weep at the beauty of the sacrifice.Ā Each of us has our own storms to face, and our road to maturity is not straight either, but when our moment of truth comes, our greatness is not measured by accomplishments but by our love.Ā Leadership is not about having the right answers; itās about building the kind of team that people are proud to be a part ofāa team where people are willing to do whatās right even when it comes at a cost.Ā Maybe our harp will burn, but amid the ashes, our character turns to gold.
October
9 (2009)
āThey've left us nothing. Nothing. Why do we have to right their wrongs? Sometimes one must be sacrificed.ā
This line is from of one of the most impressive movies I have ever seen.Ā I used to share it with my college students as the capstone of my writing class.Ā The story is set in a post-apocalyptic world in which humanity has been wiped out by AI.Ā The only remnants of life are these little, seemingly weak sack robots who carry within them the soul of their Maker.Ā The robots are numbered 1-9 and each of them represent a different aspect of their Creator.Ā 1 is self-preservation; he claims leadership of the group.Ā 2 is wisdom; he is hard-headed and ends up being banished for asking too many questions.Ā 3 and 4 are twins; they represent memory. 5 is one-eyed and timid; he represents hope.Ā 6 is barely vocal but has a key around his neck; he represents the artistic impulse.Ā 7 is resourceful and impatient; she represents courage.Ā 8 is big and strong; he represents willpower.Ā And 9 is born without a voiceāhe is repaired by 2 and goes on to challenge 1 for leadership of the group; he represents vision.
By the end of the story, wisdom, hope, art, and willpower have been consumed by AI.Ā 9 knows how to free them and is prepared to sacrifice himself to do so, but 1 knows his leadership cannot bring the group into the future.Ā At the last moment, he says, āSometimes 1 must be sacrificed,ā and pushes 9 out of the way.Ā By doing so, he gives 9 the chance he needs to overcome the enemy and bring life back into the world.
I love this story for so many reasons, the depth of its symbolism not the least.Ā In a recording to 9, the Creator talks about AI saying, āMy creation was flawed and indeed, dangerous, because it lacked a human soul.āĀ In this age of AI, we would do well to remember that there are some choices that should not be made by machines.Ā When we forfeit our moral responsibility, we become less.Ā It is only as we live out the divine sparkāour unique, conscience-bound natureā that we become fully human.Ā Sometimes one must be sacrificed to help us see.
November
The Count of Monte Cristo
āGod will give me justice.ā This weekend I decided to stretch my boysā cultural appreciation beyond cartoon movies and introduced them the The Count of Monte Cristo (2002).Ā It is a story of revenge and redemption in which a trusting young man is betrayed through a conspiracy involving friends, business partners, and corrupt authorities.Ā The hero, Edmond Dantes, is sent to prison for a crime he did not commit where he meets an unlikely mentorāa former soldier who deserted to become a priest.Ā Together, they dig a tunnel to escape until one day there is a cave-in, mortally wounding the priest.Ā With his dying words, he admonishes Edmond not to commit the crime for which he was serving the sentence.Ā He reminds Edmond that vengeance belongs to God, to which Edmond retorts, āBut I donāt believe in God.āĀ The priest replies, āIt doesnāt matter.Ā He believes in you.ā
This is one of those movies where every detail matters and every conflict is meticulously resolved.Ā At the climax, when justice is accomplished, there is just a hint of a rainbow in the frameāa symbol of faithfulness and completion.Ā The last frame of the movie is a close up of that inscription, āGod will give me justice,ā and when you look back through the events of the story, you can almost see an invisible hand working through each circumstance.
Our lives never make sense in the middle; thatās where all the shrapnel of failed ambitions lay.Ā Yet as we learn more about who we are and about what really matter to us, we find that nothing is wasted.Ā Every success, every failure, brings us closer to the person we were meant to be.Ā When we resolve to stay true to our inner voice, we find that we too are guided by that invisible hand, and our story becomes unique.Ā We admire perfect heroes, but itās the ones who struggle like we do who inspire us.Ā Failure is not the worst thing that can happen to usāindeed many leaders look back on their failures as crucial turning pointsāso do not be afraid. Ā
āIt doesnāt matter.Ā He believes in you.ā














