seeing my ex these past few days was fucking nice i’m not gonna lie

it’s been 2 years and we finally are in a place where we can discuss our breakup and the reason they did the things they did to me without fighting

we can talk about where we are at now and freely tell each other all the “remember when” comments

they told me driving down the road “every time i pass that Wendy’s i think of that night we sat in the parking lot and talked until 6am”

we talked about their mom and exchanged music that reminds us of her and everything we did together as a family and how much we fucking hate that she’s gone

we talked about our most recent breakups and compared them to the one that’ll always be ours

we told each other about the women we love now and all of the stupid arguments we regret having and everything we miss

we talked about jared and how today is his 21st birthday and how i fucking wish he was here and he’s not and they knew my anxiety like the back of their hand and without question talked me into a better place

being with them was nice and i appreciate how far we have come but the best thing about being with them was that it reminded me of how much i fucking love gabriella

how much i would do anything for her and how i wished the whole time i was with her

how much i love her laugh and the way she plays with my hair or how she kisses my cheeks and my forehead when she hugs me

how she looks at me when i’m not looking and how i would tear the entire world down if she asked me to because i just want her to have everything she’s ever desired

i’d walk out of any job and drop everyone she asks me to if it means i get a happily ever after with her

i want to make her a mother and wife and help her feel fulfilled day in and day out

but it also made me feel like shit because she doesn’t feel the same way anymore

i can tell

i know that’ll never happen again, i don’t think any changes will be made and that hurts me in my bones

i wanted to marry her but she doesn’t even want to see me

kissing can and will, get boring.

its ok to go to sleep on opposite sides.

forgetting favorites, dates and replies is only human.

you dont have to like, or be friends with all of their friends and vice-versa.

they have a right to spend weekends dedicating to their friends and family. you have the same right.

privacy is still in play.

trying simple things that they like, no matter how much you are sure you will dislike it, is a very small step you can take to show your love to them.

you dont gotta have the same taste in music, food, books etc.

saying i love you, thank you, take care, please and i missed you really helps.

you cant agree with all their life decisions and they cant with yours. keeping an open mind and having an honest and deep discussion about it helps. 

they dont need your permission to do things and neither you need theirs.

the intention and care behind the gift matters. not its price tag. 

dont try and change them. help them become better versions of themselves and get the same help and support and care from them.