bleunoia

You had been waiting for 2 hours, two long and cold hours. Your body was shivering, your cheeks bitten pink by the frosty wind, and your ears filled with the dull ache of the frigid chill. 

Yet you still stood at the bus stop waiting for the boy with the blue eyes and the crinkly smile to come whisk you away on the new life he promised you. 

It was 2 am and no matter how many times you anxiously glanced at your phone there was still no messages, no calls, not even approaching footsteps that resembled his. You were starting to think he wasn’t coming, if that wasn’t already clear by the first hour of his absence. 

You made up your mind and with a strong grip on your backpack that was filled with your most essential possessions, you abandoned the stop to make your way to his door. Thoughts were racing in your head of ‘did i do something wrong?’ to ‘did something happen to him?’ You convinced yourself that that was it, he was hurt, that was the only plausible reason of him not being there. 

With a new sense of urgency your walking turned to jogging, your jogging turning into desperate running. You made it to his apartment in a few minutes, your rapid heartbeat ringing in your ears. You reached under his doormat, feeling for the extra silver key that you had used for months on end to sneak your way into his room. 

With a careful twist of your hand you unlocked the door, pushing it open with no audible noise. You trod lightly on the floor, careful to not make the floorboards creak. The house was eerily silent, causing your already present anxiousness to heighten. You made your way to his door, pulling it open before quickly closing it behind you. 

Your eyes moved around the dark expanse of his room, looking through the mess of broken objects and thrown clothes to find Justin. You tried to turn on the lights, but looked up to find the lightbulb shattered. Your heart sank, he wasn’t here. 

You cursed under your breath at having to slink back outside of his apartment without getting caught when a soft sniffle caught your attention.

“Justin?” You whispered into the seemingly empty room. You saw something move in one corner and you made your way over. Under several blankets and bunched up in a corner, you found the boy you had been waiting for- literally. 

“Justin, what the fuck?” You hissed under your breath, ripping the layers off of him.

 “I was waiting for you for over two hours, what happened?” You took a more gentle tone, taking in his disheveled appearance and watery eyes.  

“I didn’t think it was worth going.” His loud and curt voice felt like a slap to the face and you furrowed your brows in confusion at his answer.

He didn’t meet your eyes, his stare directing towards the wall dejectedly. You pointed to the door and brought your finger to your mouth, motioning for him to be quiet. 

“They’re not here, you don’t have to worry about that shit.” You bent down to level your face to his, placing your hands on his cheeks. 

“Look at me. Justin, what’s wrong?” You forced his eyes to look into yours and your heart tore at the broken look in his eyes. 

“Baby, what happened?” You pulled him into your chest, wrapping your arms around him. He stayed stiff in your embrace, but eventually melted into you. You could feel his tears wet the skin of your neck, his soft sobs wracking his body. 

Last week on one particularly calm night, Justin came bursting through your window. It was 2 am and you were deep in sleep before being abruptly shocked out of your dreams by his trembling hands. 

His mom had thrown him out, choosing her boyfriend over her own son- his anger and crippling disappointment apparent in his frenzied eyes and shaking body. You had let him take out his frustrations on your wall, a fist sized hole now broken through. He yelled into your pillow as you rubbed soothing circles on his back, not saying a word. 

After his throat finally grew raw and he had exhausted himself physically, he reached out for you- whispering soft apologies and i love you’s into your ears. He asked you to run away with him, start a new life, be free from all the negativity and instead replace it with love. You could only say yes and so you decided that on this night, a week later- during midnight, you would take the fastest train headed towards new beginnings. 

Now here you were, much like that fateful night, with Justin crying into you. 

“Justin, talk to me. Please. I need you to talk to me.” You rocked him back and forth like a mother would to her small child, as he gripped onto your clothes. 

“They found out… They told me I wasn’t going anywhere, especially not with you.” His words came out choked, as he tightened his grip on you. “He told me I was going to ruin you, just like I ruin everything.”

Your eyes filled with tears at his words, truly hearing how hurt he was through his voice. 

“I don’t deserve you, Y/N. I really don’t. Stay away from me, please.” His tears continued running, now soaking through your shirt. “I can’t hurt you, I don’t want to hurt you.” 

You had never seen Justin like this. Every time he was pushed down he stood right back up, stronger and angrier than the last time. You were the one that broke down, the one that cried into his shoulder letting out all your insecurities and intimate thoughts. 

You pulled his face from your neck, wiping the tears from his swollen red eyes.

 “Justin. Justin, I fucking love you okay? I love you so much and there is no way that you will ever be able to hurt me. Ever since you came into my life, you added so much color and light to it. I know this is chees-”

You weren’t able to finish your sentence before Justin was crashing his lips onto yours, his arms crushing you into his chest. You went limp against his touch, the feeling of his mouth against yours overwhelming you. 

You felt like he had come back from a war and in a way- he had. You didn’t know why those words had impacted him so deeply, maybe because they resounded a truth in him and confirmed his darkest fears. You didn’t know if after this things would go back to the way they were, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care because your boyfriend was kissing you with so much emotion, it was pulling tears from your eyes. 

You returned his kisses with as much passion and love you could muster, your hands slipping their way into his hair. Your tongues tangled in a fight for dominance, before settling in sync with each other. 

Your hands slid down to the front of his shirt, pulling him with you as you laid down on the floor. You sucked his lips between your own, small breathy moans leaving his mouth. He kissed your lips until they were swollen and bruised, your sighs filling the room. 

Time stopped turning, the world stopped moving, it was just the two of you on that floor. 

With one last kiss that tasted like liquid gold falling from his lips, he scattered his lips across your cheeks. His mouth dipped into the hollow of your neck, sucking the tender skin a flushed red. You arched your neck to the side in response as his touch trailed back up to your lips. 

He inched in close, the tip of his nose brushing against yours. Your heart thumped loudly as his eyes stared into yours, basking in the glow of your touch. 

“I love you.”

Your chest tightened at his words, lungs forgetting how to breathe for a second. He continued to look at you, disbelief flooding his brain at how you managed to make him fall in love with you more and more each day.

He observed the deep and shining color of your irises, the soft shine that glimmered on your lips, the rose-like pigment that splotched your cheeks, and he is so in love. 

With a smile, that is entirely too lovely, you gently close the distance between your lips. 

“I love you too, more than you can imagine.” You murmur into the small space between you, and he is smiling bright, so bright that you wonder if the sun moved it’s place in the sky and into him. 

You almost want to cry, but before the tears that are threatening to spill from your eyes fall, he is pulling you back into the inescapable realm of his lips. His mouth is warm honey, lips soft like satin, slipping smoothly against yours. Your fingers ghost over the flesh of his back, brushing the fabric of his shirt up. 

He gingerly pulls away, tugging the material over his head. You mirror his actions, peeling the layers of clothing off your body. He helps you out of your jeans and panties as you unhook your bra behind you, letting it fall unto the floor. You feel entirely too bare and you blush brightly, self conscious under his intimate stare. 

“You are so beautiful.”

You shy away from his eyes, unbuttoning and zipping down his jeans in an attempt to distract him. His mouth pulls into a boyish grin, eyebrows waggling at you in a smug manner. He wrestles his jeans off, boxers following. Now both naked, you caress the expanse of his chest, watching goosebumps arise on his skin. 

Justin lays his hands on your ribs, finger tips brushing against the skin, shivers washing over you. His fingers make their way up to the swell of your breasts, massaging the delicate flesh. You wrap your legs around him, your thigh nudging his cock. A soft groan leave his lips before he descends his mouth on your nipple, pulling and tugging in fervency. Your head throws back as he continues his ministrations, drawing moans from between your lips. 

Your hips buck up onto him, his mouth separating from the skin of your breasts to release a hiss. You feel his length dip into your heat momentarily and you swivel your hips against him, driving him crazy. With a growl, he lays a hand on your stomach, circling your clit with his other. You gasp out in surprise at his urgent touch, reaching up to dig your fingertips into the skin of his scalp. Your nerves are bursting and you are buzzing in pleasure, as he quickens his movements. 

His fingers are slick against your heat, abruptly plunging his fingers into you, a high-pitched whine falling from your lips. Your writhe underneath him, his touch setting you ablaze and almost pushing you to lose your bearings during a particularly hard thrust.

“Justin-I need-I need you,” desperately whimpering as he sunk his teeth into the flesh of your neck. He hummed, moving his hand up to thumb your bundle of nerves, simultaneously taking your nipple between his lips.

“Let me think about it.” 

You almost yell at both his fingers grinding against you dizzyingly and his response. You shove your hands between your sweaty bodies to grip his cock, tightly moving your hand up and down his length. A loud groan escaped his mouth at the fast pace of your movements, his head falling into the crook of your neck. His abs clench as you overwhelm him with your touch, pushing your thumb into the head of his cock. You slow your motions, a smug smile on your lips.

“Baby, please.” He whines in disapproval, digging his fingers into the grooves of your hips. 

“Let me think about it.” 

He let out an exasperated laugh at your pettiness, but then you’re wrapping your fingers around him again, causing the smile to wipe immediately off his face. You pull his leaking cock towards your entrance, his eyes watching you through heavy lashes. You incline your chin up to kiss him lightly, before urging his hips down to fill you. 

His pants fill your ears, movements stilled as he adjusted to the feeling of your heat around his length. You raised your hands to fist the brown strands of his hair, tugging them in desperation. He carefully raised his hips before dipping them into you, settling on a languid pace. 

You’ve had sex with Justin many times before this, but nothing like this. It felt like you were rediscovering him, every touch causing stars to collide, and plunging you deeper into a bottomless chasm of ardor. Every thrust of his hips brought about the sensation of spring, the blossoming of flowers and new life after the biting and barren cold of winter. 

You were making love. 

You trembled in his arms, like the aftershocks of an earthquake of great magnitude as he increased the pace of his movements. Your chests are pressed against each other, bodies molding as if they were one. 

“Fuck, Y/N.” 

His soft moans and whimpers make you delirious, clenching around him like a vice. Another stuttered groan leaves his lips, his thrusts turning irregular- signaling he was close. 

You lift your mouth up to his ear, whispering sweet nothings to urge him closer to the edge. His fingers descend to dig into your bundle of nerves, drowning you in a sea of white-hot pleasure. Your hips raise up to meet his thrusts, now chasing your own high. 

“Let go baby, let go.” Justin murmured against your lips, grunts hot against your skin. 

“God, I fucking love you.”

And then you are falling, unraveling between the onslaught of his touches, burning as though a wildfire was raging in you. His lips bring you back to reality, tongue lacing with yours in wild fervor. 

His hips continue rolling into you, intelligible mumbles falling from his lips as your walls clamp around him in an effort to push him over the edge. You retreat your mouth from his, trailing it down to his earlobe, taking the soft fleshy skin of it between your teeth. 

“Come on Justin.” Your voice is all he needed to reach his high, curses escaping his mouth. He continued pushing into you, trying to prolong the ecstasy that filled his veins.

You tenderly pushed his hair from his forehead, sweat glistening on his forehead. He tilted his lips up to kiss your palm, a soft smile on his face as his movements finally came to a stop. Your eyes mapped out the span of his face, trying to instill how he looked right in this moment forever in your memories. You never wanted to forget the way his eyes shone in adoration or how he glowed like he had constellations buried beneath the layers of his skin, beaming brighter by the second.

He held himself unmoving above you, letting you trace your fingertips over the delicate skin of his eyelids, down to the grooves of his lips. You don’t know how long you laid there with him on the floor, unaware of anything but each other. The only thought that even stepped into the threshold of your mind besides him him and him was that you weren’t scared.

You weren’t scared to fall madly in love with him and you didn’t mind that your love story wasn’t one for the storybooks because God, you fucking loved him too.