og

0009 — 3/1, 8:24pm — angela? is that you?

sometimes i don't recognize myself in the mirror. but i recognize myself in the photos. i can't help but to love the evidence. i wanna work on the black and white project some more but i'm not ready yet. i like this section tho cause many phases and faces and feels but just one ang.

spring is on her way and i hope things don't get too difficult before her return. i can feel an internal storm approaching but idk if it's the planets or what... it's a lot happening right now. but i went to the beach today and talked to some birds and wrote in my journal, it was nice.

hi. i had a really good day today and i'm back with a twist.. or rather, returning with a package. a project package. a present almost, for whoever and myself. and i’m choosing this space as my platform… i guess. idk but for now, yes. i’m starting a project (don’t know what to call it yet) and i’m gonna share some of my progress here in the form of a digital journal. let me explain:

it all started yesterday, on my lunch break. it was beautiful outside. sunny, sixty something degrees with a slight breeze. something like a spring sneak peek. i was parked in 'the spot' and observing my surroundings when i noticed something that immediately connected my hands to my camera...it was a tree.

a tree that i've parked next to numerous times. a tree just like the other trees surrounding it. bare. standing tall and standing out, appearing more pronounced than the others. a tree that grasped my attention and called me out of my car to capture its beauty. i hesitated a bit and realized that i was comprehending more than just the tree. it's almost like the tree was evoking something sacred and specific..something worth paying attention to. here's what i saw:

*3/4/2026 — the tree* it's perfect posture and symmetrical stance. the praise positioning of its branches. the way the branches are reflected on the street, representing its roots beneath the surface. the foundation. the vacancy in the parking lot. the sun's position. the shadow. the connection to the phrase, "as above, so below." the parking spot leveler representing inner layers. the transparency of the tree's stability. its groundedness and strength. the exposure of its framework. the lack of foliage. the very relatable seasonal circumstances.. it was a lot. i was processing while repositioning myself and i began reflecting on what ‘foundation’ means to me.

anyways, i know this isn't my best photo ever but it feels so...important. this moment and this photo was the seed of my project idea.. i thought to myself, "i don't ever do this. i don't usually reflect on what i photograph.." and i wondered "why not?!"...and as i thanked the tree for sharing and God for the opportunity, i recalled a suggestion i received from a photographer i met a while ago. after reviewing and critiquing some of my photos, he said "take a photo everyday, you'll only get better" and it was like i could hear him saying it again but this time, it felt like i was ready to actually fuck around and find out..and commit to the goal.

so.. the project idea came about after an interaction i had. a simple 'how's your day going' led to 'wanna see the photo i just took?' and i was then encouraged and reintroduced to the idea of taking a photo...everyday...*gentle and almost immediate confirmation, thank you God* -- and instead of just taking a photo a day and being done with it, i want to begin reflecting, analyzing, titling, describing, and giving a voice to my work. so. that was day 1...and i am excited! i am also very grateful to feel passionate about something again. about photography again. about creating again. my goal for this project is to simply practice, improve, learn more, develop and elevate my skill level. i haven't decided on all the details just yet but ultimately, i want to create something for FAE (my "business" lol), showcasing my daily photo journey..something i can share (elsewhere, physically) at some point. maybe a book. maybe a collection on my *soon to come, again* website. or maybe just some new content for my portfolio..who knows, maybe i'll just make it to day 11 and decide that the project is complete. let's just see, shall we? but for now, i’ll *be attempting to* keep track of the days and the finalists of the day (if there’s more than just one photo) and my thoughts and maybe even some feelings. maybe even a poem or two. idk. i’m just wanna get back to the whole ‘i’m a photographer’ thing. so, here’s to angela *🥂* the photographer.

hi again. here’s *take two* — sorry for the delay but time has been moving fast and so have the thoughts. but before i start rambling, let me show you some of the recent finalists:

3/5/2026 — sun seeking; beginning to end

four sunrise photos taken at the oceanfront before work. i left my house early enough to catch the sun’s wednesday welcome and i had enough gas to chase her down. the birds performed for me and i was overflowing with gratitude and joy.. it allowed me to recognize how blessed i am to live where i do and to have access to such a magical place.. this really set the tone for a beautiful day.. and then!

two sunset scenes taken at the park.. two seemingly personal moments, caught by an observational point of view. outside looking in. both are fantastic shots if you ask me but the one on the right might be one of my all time favorites.. i masked the bottom half of the photo and eliminated all saturation while adding depth and deeper dimension to the darkened details… and the top half only really needed a touch up.

i actually took a lot of photos this day but, in attempt to not post so many photos a day, i’m gonna try to focus on the finalists.. although only costing a few was difficult.

3/6/2026 — mono and multi

lately i’ve been enjoying black and white photos a lot, along with details (and all the other stuff too).. but thursday included some sneaky photos of a friend.. and her fingers. then some flowers. and then MY fingers featuring a gifted glove.

…ok, still catching up… *take two, part two*

3/7/2026 — foggy field

the fog was intense and i found myself in a field photographing the ‘puppies’..

3/8/2026 — *rest day, nothing to share :/* i didn’t take ANY photos.. it was a sleepy, somewhat sad sunday.

& today, 3/9/2026 — handwritten thinking

alright.. so five, well technically six, days into the project and i'm feeling proud of my progress and still fairly excited. however, i’m also overwhelmed by so many ideas and thoughts.. and so much has happened recently. there’s so much to consider, so many moving parts.. i just want to collapse on a cloud and drift away.. with my cameras. there's a heaviness present in my spirit that i want to alleviate, i just don't know how. i wanna cry but...i'm currently in the zen booth, trying to mentally settle my inner systems as i prepare to depart.. the library is closing soon and i'm dreading the intercom announcement, avoiding my travel home for the night.. anxious and anticipating more anxiousness, and actively wishing that my 'home' and our relationship was different. actually, in this moment, i kinda wish that everything was different. home, work, myself, my routine, and majority of my life.. it's a difficult feeling. because two things exist at once; gratitude and disdain. i’m grateful to have a home, and honored to have candace in my life.. blessed to be able to work and thankful that i’m learning and growing and while i do wish things were different, i'm uncertain that change is achievable. also unsure how to create the change that i desperately crave. at the same time, i’m under the impression that the dense dissatisfaction will only develop and linger and dance in the shadows until detected, regardless of how far i distance myself from my current reality.. almost as if doom dwells within the depths of my spirit...damn..it’s deep and it’s depressing. and as the day comes to an end, i am feeling depleted once again. the weekday distractions are dissolving into the dusk and the duties that await my arrival are demanding my presence.

i’m already exhausted.

how can i ever revive what has already died within me?

…

put dates on everything

don’t believe digital stuff is preserved forever - if it’s really important (documents, photos, etc) print it out

name your files accurately I know it sucks but please

don’t destroy the original just bc you scanned it

rubber cement is the devil’s adhesive use photo corners and quit gluing shit

you will NOT remember write it down

if you staple things to the inside of a folder I will find you