Bleach Headcanons

Soi Fon already acts like she’s in a Naruto au ... like, the skills, the drama, the arch-rivalries. Just get her a headband and she’s good to go!

I feel like Renji is the sort of person who loves baths - just taking his time, having a soak

and baths are a Thing culturally in Japan

so he and s/o would totally set aside time to bathe together

and it’s not really a sex thing - it’s about just being able to spend time together and help each other wash their hair and shit. Intimacy, yes, but not sexy intimacy

they cuddle and talk and soak in the hot water. 

Honestly, I picture Shuhei being really excited and a little freaked out by the whole experience of becoming a parent

especially since, as the non-pregnant person, his input is rather limited

but once things get to the point that s/o is visibly pregnant, and Shuhei can feel the kid moving, he’s working towards being more excited

honestly, the first time he feels the kid moving, Shuhei cries

and it’s like, really ugly, emotional crying

hopefully this happens somewhere private b/c Shuhei doesn’t like being stared at for this sort of thing and people would stare 

While Byakuya would definitely flirt and show affection, he’s also a pretty introverted person, so a lot of his attempts would seem more on the quiet side

like, he’s not going to kiss s/o in public - he might not even want to hold hands or hug in front of a lot of other people. He’s not into PDA at all

he’d like giving gifts - he has the money to make them very expensive, but he likes making them practical and/or stuff that his s/o would use and appreciate

This is for babies, for Reasons.

Thinks it’s cute: Shunsui Kyoraku, Sajin Komamura, Kensei Muguruma, Rukia Kuchiki

Not excited but deals because it’s a baby: Rose Otoribashi, Retsu Unohana, Toshiro Hitsugaya 

Ichigo is honestly a really good s/o for someone that struggles with chronic illness. 

he’s supportive in all the best ways. Like, he’s the sort of person who lifts his s/o up and helps care for them without ever talking down to them b/c of a condition.

Now, there’s so many types of chronic illness that there’s lots of directions

but Ichigo is as cuddly as the situation and his s/o permits. 

Some types of illness make cuddles awkward - especially if s/o has periods of being contagious or types of contact that are awkward due to support devices or medical treatments. But Ichigo and s/o make do. 

Also some people aren’t always super-into cuddles and physical affection as others

so Ichigo also tries to express affection in other ways - he’s really good at sending cute text messages and so on

So this is a mostly crack-y but slightly serious ‘verse that is a hilarious disaster, with a special shout-out to @junko222.

key points:

a bit au-ish because it’s ByaRen but it’s fanfic, so we’re going to run with it

they’re pretty much together in everything except legally - but they’re keeping a low profile so the Kuchiki family can’t object. 

Renji’s by himself in an area that’s fairly far out but not super far out, and he’s on some sort of errand, and goes into a building to visit someone. When he leaves the building he finds a kid (mental age ~6) rifling though the bag he left outside, desperate for food.

Kid tries to run, he catches them

kid is sufficiently spunky + has spiritual pressure, so he decides to take them back to the Seireitei

he ends up deciding to keep the kid on the way back

Byakuya is sort of :O but agrees since the kid has nowhere to go and is attached to Renji

Renji ends up adopting the kid - they can’t both do it b/c of the whole keeping a low profile thing. So kid becomes an Abarai.

they get a flood of gifts for the kid and people who want to babysit and/or teach the kid stuff and/or offer advice. Which is generally pretty helpful. 

also it’s helpful that Byakuya is rich enough that randomly picking up a kid won’t break the bank. 

overall, very adorable and fluffy

This one’s going under a cut. Don’t want to toss hardcore angst in people’s faces if they don’t want to see it. 

I think that Byakuya’s reaction would depend on why he rejected the person in question? 

so, for example, if he rejected someone because he sincerely thinks that they’re a bad person, or that they’d be incompatible, or something else reasonable, he’d just try to get over it. Though in this case, he may or may not have feelings for them. 

If he realizes that he’s been an idiot and he and this person both have feelings for each other and they’d be good for each other, he goes for an apology

The type of apology depends on the person and the rejection - maybe quiet and intimate, maybe big.

ofc, he has to come to terms with the fact that the apology might not work.

so he’ll try and apologize and hope for the best

if this works, great

if not, there’ll be lots of the Byakuya equivalent of wine and ice cream and bad Hallmark movies

though if he’s going for an apology of this scale, if he’s getting some initial forgiveness then he’s probably going to have to work to get in s/o’s good graces again

this would be an awkward mess of feelings. 

but the short answer is that they’re both gentlemanly enough to take the person’s feelings into consideration. If the person has a preference, they’ll abide by it. Like, if it’s one of them or neither of them, they have enough respect for the person to let them pick.

They’ll do their best to leave any awkwardness away from work.

Nanao Ise:

is a little :[ b/c Ichigo can sometimes have really unorthodox methods of problem-solving since he doesn’t know a lot of the everyday things about the Gotei 

but he learns quickly and he is pretty good at paperwork - he wasn’t one of the top students in his grade for nothing!!

Marechiyo Omaeda:

complains (pretty hypocritically) that Ichigo isn’t stealthy enough for the 2nd Division

Ichigo gets to beat people up in terms of training, though, because Soi Fon doesn’t want to waste the opportunity 

Izuru Kira:

is pleased to see Ichigo

Ichigo probably once again beats people up in the name of training

Isane Kotetsu:

since Ichigo doesn’t actually know much kido medical stuff, this might be a good opportunity? 

Isane totally fobs Ichigo off on Hanataro and goes about her day as usual

Renji Abarai:

totally loves having Ichigo around for a day. 

they spar, they argue, Renji drags Ichigo around the Division

Tetsuzaemon Iba:

he doesn’t know Ichigo that well, so they have a more professional relationship?

probably really educational for Ichigo 

Shuhei Hisagi:

Ichigo gets dragged into helping edit the Seireitei Communication

also teaching Shuhei about cars for some reason?

Rangiku Matsumoto:

trades a lot of stories about Isshin with Ichigo

they do eventually get some work done

Nemu Kurotsuchi:

Ichigo at the 12th would be weird as hell. I’m not sure what Nemuri would think, tbh?

I think that he’d wait. For several reasons. 

The big one is that he’s a pretty cautious person. He’d probably wait a while to decide that someone is “the one,” and even then, he’d still be a little cautious.

Also, he’s sure that he loves this person, but what is their opinion of him? And what’s going on in their life? Do they like him back? Are they in a position to be in a relationship with him? These are legitimate questions with serious consequences. 

If Byakuya’s special person honestly doesn’t like him back and/or is in a position where they can’t be with him, I can see him not pursuing it. He’s being serious about his feelings by putting s/o’s well-being first.

If Byakuya feels like he could pursue a relationship, he’d probably go fairly slowly? Like, he’s a busy guy, there’s all the noble stuff, so he’s not just going to go up to this person and proclaim his undying affection

Probably some version of :,O

He’s honestly amazed. Like, this is a whole new person, that is part him and part his s/o. They’re so small! So adorable! They have such tiny little fingers and toes and he’s just shook at the whole thing.

he’s absolutely crying

Also he makes sure to sit down before holding the baby because he wants to be careful

Ichigo Kurosaki:

I really peg Ichigo as pursuing a “caring” profession - he’s got a lot of heart, and he likes helping people

so while working in medicine isn’t out of the question, I’d probably put him in a role where he can do a lot of good to a lot of people. 

Though I’m not sure that he’d want to work in something high-stress like an emergency ward 

I could totally see him working with little kids, though, so maybe early childhood education, or psychology

Rukia Kuchiki:

I’m including her here because I can totally see her taking some classes by correspondence and/or buying textbooks to read

for interest’s sake and/or stuff that would be helpful to understanding how the human world works

stuff she’d read for interests’ sake might include history, law, culture, etc

for increased understanding, I can see her looking into more modern culture/travel stuff, fashion and design, how modern things work, etc

Uryu Ishida:

I can totally see him doing some sort of fashion design thing and/or a combo of fashion design and business school?

for two reasons.

Firstly, the sewing/designing thing does really seem to be a skill and passion for Uryu, and I’d like to see him follow that

and I can’t imagine Uryu becoming a doctor just because it’s what his dad does? I don’t think he’d cave to that sort of peer pressure

on a side note to the whole Ryuken being a doctor thing - I think that in the American version, but Ryuken might be implied to be owning the hospital? But properly in the Japanese version, he’s just the director. So Uryu couldn’t inherit the hospital? Like, flat-out owning a hospital is only something that happens in the states, folks.

Tatsuki Arisawa:

Tatsuki 100% follows up on her karate stuff

she canonically becomes the second-best ranked woman in karate in all of Japan in her age rank during the series, which is rad as hell. And she only loses first because she breaks her arm during the fight!

So she’s absolutely good enough to become a teacher. If she keeps at it, she’d probably become fairly senior in whatever school of karate she’s joined, since she’s already so good. 

Chad Sado:

I can see Chad going to trade school?

he seems like the sort of person who likes working with his hands, so taking up something in this vein would be a good fit. 

Maybe general contracting? Man is strong af, he’d be good at it. And there’s good money in the trades

Orihime Inoue:

I can see her going to cooking school or taking on an apprenticeship at a restaurant

she likes food and has worked in food services

I think that I’ve touched on this one before, but some thoughts:

as far as I can tell, the Visored probably ended up in the World of the Living in the 1890s or the 1900s (the decade)

so they’d probably only have been in regular Japan for a few years before the war broke out

and I think that they’d have spent as much of the first world war keeping their heads down. They’d have had enough of fighting, so they’d just be trying to stay inconspicuous and out of the way. 

I’d posit that they added their underground base at this time if they didn’t have it already - a good place to hide, train, and do stuff to keep themselves going

They’d probably bump up their self-sufficiency, just in case. Stuff like growing their own food, making or mending their own stuff, and just generally keeping a low profile

a lot of this remains the same for WW2

though they hate that so much of the politics that they didn’t like in the Soul Society seems endemic to humans as well - politicians, nobles, and other powerful people arguing without much thought for the people under them who are fighting and dying

they work hard to avoid getting drafted into the army and/or support work - maybe one or two of them end up working in a factory to seem less suspicious

they also try to help other people when they can. Life’s hard enough without hardcore rationing, suspicion, and fear.

with the threat of firebombing and the atomic bomb, they reinforce the underground bunker 

they spend a lot of time trying to quietly kill Hollows because the Soul Reapers are (in my mind, at least) avoiding the areas that are destroyed

In no particular order, some of my fave bleach characters are:

Kensei Muguruma

Ichigo Kurosaki

Byakuya Kuchiki

Rukia Kuchiki

Rangiku Matsumoto

Shuhei Hisagi

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Hanataro Yamada

Tatsuki Arisawa