can't hurt me

Name: Rhett “Blaze” Thompson Age: 51 Birthday: September 6th, 1971 Nickname: Blaze Birth Place: Lockwood Springs, Colorado Occupation: Road Captain for The Keepers, Owner of Mile High Sexual Orientation: Straight  Positive traits: charismatic, entertaining, generous Negative traits: self-destructive, irresponsible, self-deprecating  Lives: Downtown

more: 

Bear trusted people who would honor silence with him, which was why Blaze was a welcomed face and was permitted beyond the no trespassing signs he had dug into his land boundaries. But trust was a big word and a big meaning to Bear and it didn’t extend much further than he needed it to. He laughed slightly, pulling the dust sheet back over the bike and pointing at the one he used. “If I can’t get it to run, no one can.” he didn’t sound arrogant, just his usual flat tone which stated the things he thought were obvious. “Maybe they could but…” he shrugged because Bear lived as humbly as possible like a snapshot of history in the present day. “Expensive.”

;

Blaze thought for a moment as he watched Bear cover the bike back up, wondering if a bit of rust and being left to rot had something to do with it’s performance. Or lack of. “You know how you always say you forget my birthday, every year?” Blaze began, laughing because it never bothered him. He hated being reminded of getting older anyways. “Well, taking her to Wy and Leo would be a good way to make up for it. Just for a look, huh? Pretty sure Leo would do us the kindness of looking over her for free. How’s that sound?” Blaze requested and he never spoke to Bear like his friend was stupid, but he just knew that smaller steps forward were better. “And if they quote something huge, I’ll put in half ‘cause it was my idea in the first place. Fair?” he held out his hand for a shake, or knowing Bear he’d have to spit on it first.

starter for: @milliestanley​

;

Blaze tried to settle into the good atmosphere for the bonfire, laughing as people enjoyed themselves and joining in the best he could but his mind was elsewhere. Hoping to see Millie show her face, and have a night where she could escape whatever Hell was being created in her own home. He also hoped she’d stay for as long as possible, maybe not go back at all. He finally relaxed when he saw her, closing the distance with one arm raising to bring her in close to him. “Almost thought you wouldn’t make it.” he smiled but he knew there might be a nasty reason for the delay. “Kids get to Del’s alright? I told her I invited you instead of them and they didn’t seem to care.” he laughed because Del preferred to keep to herself than mingle. “Which means you’re my favorite Stanley, how does that feel?”

starter for: @bear-weston​

;

Blaze was used to having friends that didn’t talk much, between Del and Bear he was just happy to be someone they tolerated being around which was rare for either of them. Blaze felt quite lucky. So whenever he had the time, he drove himself out to Bear’s secluded home by the national park and helped out with things he needed to do. Today was a bike day though. “Man, I still can’t believe you won’t trust Wyatt or Leo with this. It’s just sitting there collecting dust.” Blaze shook his head, looking at the old harley davidson which must be worth a pretty penny these days. “They’d get her up and going again in no time, honest.”

-

It took a small moment before Del responded because their eyes flicked between the seat and back to Blaze, trying to work out if they wanted to nurture something longer than a passing conversation. More time talking meant more time realizing that an apology was needed. “Been busy.” Del commented before nodding to the seat finally, thinking it was weirder to leave it any longer without a response. Busy meant they had decided to make their addiction private again, the way it should be. “Sucks about no news. Is everyone still playing dumb that it wasn’t Quinlan and his merry band of assholes?”

;

“Right, busy. Writing?” Blaze asked his friend as his hand rested on the back of the seat, waiting for the go ahead that he could sit down. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Del was avoiding him or possibly everybody. He even looked for them at The Phoenix. Finally, he noticed the nod and sat opposite her tucking his legs under the table and resting his elbows ontop. “Don’t think anybody’s playing dumb, just think we’re waiting for undeniable proof, you know?” he shrugged and sighed, because life did feel like a loop lately. “I doubt you’re close enough to Quinlan to find out, huh?” it just popped into his head but it was worth a shot.

.

A smile twitched at her lips and her eyes lit up for a moment. “Thanks,” it was hard not to smile when she was around Blaze. She always felt like she could breathe a little easier around him. Even if it was for a brief second this time before she remembered the weight pressing down on her chest again. Cade was back and everything good felt like it had been sucked out of her surroundings in an instant. “Good,” she sighed and nodded, “that’s good.” Millie wanted to add so many things to that. I’m sorry I haven’t called, I miss you. Did you really try to kill Cade? I wish you would have. An awful thing to wish for, she knew, but she sincerely thought the world would be a better place if Cade was dead and burned and put into several locked boxes, then thrown in the middle of the ocean just to be safe.

Her eyes moved from her feet to him when he asked the question. She stopped thinking about how to explain herself immediately, surprised he would ask after she’d been ignoring him. “I, well, um, hmm,” Millie’s face scrunched wondering if she could make it work. She never was a good liar, not even in her rebellious years. “It would be nice to be around everyone and to remember Jason.” Millie chewed on her bottom lip and whispered a faint ‘fuck it’ wondering why she was keeping anything from Blaze. She knew it wasn’t going to get back to Cade, but instinctively she glanced around to check if he was somewhere nearby watching her. “I didn’t know you knew, of course you know. I would need to come up with something to tell him and find somewhere for Drew and Charlie to go. Somewhere safe. Or bring them with.” She was thinking out loud, her words trembling. Millie took another breath and hugged her torso. “Blaze, I’m so sorry, I can’t think right now. I don’t know what to say to you or Del or the kids or anyone. I feel like I’ve turned into a zombie.” She let her head fall back to rest on the car, silently wishing it was all just a bad dream and she would wake up.

;

It was hard to not feel like a failure because Cade was back. Blaze and Arthur left what they thought was an exhausted and tortured body that was too far from anywhere to make it. It felt like the last sixteen years of feeling guilty for not seeing the signs about Cade’s true nature were all for nothing too, because they failed in making sure Millie never had to worry about him again. Blaze was clueless to what it would feel like to have someone like Cade in your life but he could tell from Millie’s reaction that the man obviously was oppressive and totalitarian. “You can bring them with, there won’t be a chance in Hell he’d get through any Silva land.” Blaze suggested softly because he didn’t want to be another force that ordered Millie around. “Or hide them up with Del until we can figure out what to do next.” he added.

Gently, Blaze offered his hand out to hers and carefully scooped it into his palm. “Mils, we will do something about it. I promise.” he said quietly, just in case somebody was near enough to hear even though he knew they were alone. “You won’t have to live like this for much longer. You just try and stick by me or Arthur as much as possible while we figure it out.” he promised with his whole heart, nodding to Millie gently. “The club got a whole lot bigger since the last time he was here too, and considering he’s a traitor now I know some people will wanna hear about it.”

where: mile high

who: @blazethompscn​

Ever since Cade showed up in her dining room she was avoiding everyone but family. That also included Blaze, which was one of the ones that hurt the most. She didn’t want to ghost him, as the kids say. They’d only just started getting a bit more serious instead of whatever it had been they were doing before. Close friends with occasional intimacy if it could even be called that. She’d spent years holding him at arm’s length and now here she was again, ignoring him. Not because she wanted to, but because she didn’t want him to get hurt as well. Cade was out of his mind and she had no clue what he was planning. But she certainly wouldn’t put it past him to hurt the people she loved. 

When Drew asked her to pick him up at Mile High, she hoped Blaze wouldn’t be there. She came early with a plan to read while she waited, avoid going home for as long as possible. After reading the same page four times and still not remembering what it said she gave up. Millie got out of the car to do something she hadn’t done since the kids were young, have a cigarette. The sound of boots on gravel broke her thoughts. And there he was. “Oh Blaze,” she offered an apologetic smile and dropped the cigarette, crushing it with her foot. “If anyone asks, I wasn’t just doing that,” she pulled at her sleeves to hide any of the faded marks on her arms. “Um, hey, hi, how- how are you?” She offered a weak smile.

;

Blaze had heard rumors about Cade being back, at first thinking it was stupidity but after not hearing from Millie he realized there must be truth to the sightings. The biker had a soft spot for Mildred for years, even when she was married to the evil man who he thought was a friend. So when he finally saw her at the amusement park, he didn’t hesitate to approach. Seeing the smoke wind in the air, he laughed slightly and bowed his head before crossing a finger over his chest to seal the promise. “Doing what?” he grinned, getting closer and then leaning against her car. “I’m alright...” Blaze answered, but he was worried about her. He didn’t care at first if she had decided she didn’t want to keep letting their friendship blur into romance, he didn’t consider himself a good enough catch for it anyways. But he did care about Cade hurting her.

“Do you think you’d wanna come to the bonfire this weekend for Jason?” he asked her curiously, knowing that if he mentioned anything about Cade he risked her trying to find an excuse to leave or avoid him even more than she had done. “It’s up at Silver Spur. A lot of us are going so it might be nice to spend some time together, surrounded by friends, you know? People who have our backs.” Blaze suggested and smiled at her, wanting her to read between the lines. The Keepers could help run Cade out of town for good, or make sure he never could come back. 

sheriff-callahan​:

at: Flanagan’s Pub @ethanjxnes @blazethompscn​

-

Usually their fortnightly visits to the pub were more joyous, but Jason’s death clouded their recent ones and was the main topic of discussion. Arthur didn’t mind being a support for Ethan, or for stepping out of his comfort zone and leaning more towards the MC than he commonly did. “I wish I had something I else I could say.” Arthur sighed, refilling up his friend’s glasses with the Irish whiskey they were sharing. Just enough for a sip so he didn’t make an ass of himself. “Obviously homicide are all over it and the most I got was that there’s some camera footage, but it was dark and the guy seemed to know how to hide himself good enough. So, I guess now they’re gonna be looking at people who knew the school well.” Arthur explained but there wasn’t a name or even a suspect that would make Ethan feel better. “Anything your side or is this the worst game of hide and seek we’ve ever had to play?”

Ethan had always liked Arthur’s company, even if his methods as a Sheriff were a little shady. He reckoned everybody was a little shady, so he didn’t judge and he was grateful for the help he was giving for Jason’s justice. “God dammit, how come we got like 14k phones or whatever they’re called but security cams are like how I used to watch TV?” he sighed. “Surely they got a list of names they think are capable? And I know Diego has said for us to not start pointing fingers, but it’s obvious…right?” Ethan didn’t want to seem like a crazed family member throwing conspiracies around. “Nothing our side either only that everyone’s story checks out, so it wasn’t one of us.” he sipped his beer, sighing again. “Unless they’re not telling me because they know I’ll be ending this truce with my bare hands.”

; 

Blaze always had a lot of time for the Sheriff and he trusted Arthur too, both of them had a shared secret which they knew they’d take to their graves together. “Now, I’m no cop but if it was a planned attack then someone had to know we were being evacuated to the school, right?” Blaze thought it sounded like a good lead, and didn’t trust other cops to follow it. “And how do we know these Irish fucks...” he whispered so nobody overheard. “...aren’t all over the case to cover their own tracks?” Blaze suggested passionately, wanting to know the truth about his good friend and so Ethan could have answers about his family. “I’ve not heard anything either, Eth. I don’t think we’d hide anything from you if someone did know something.”

at: ambrosia coffee co @blazethompscn​

-

Del was all too aware that they owed several people an apology for their behavior at the school. But just the thought of showing that amount of care and vulnerability made them want to cut out their own tongue with blunt scissors, staple it to a tree and watch nature rot it into nothing. Green eyes fixed onto Blaze as he entered the coffee shop, but Del didn’t make any effort to create an inviting exchange. It looked as if they’d rather be anywhere than near Blaze, which wasn’t true. They figured the easiest way to break the ice was to scowl instead, since it came more naturally to their features. “You got any news about Jason?” Del asked abruptly as Blaze passed her table. It was better to talk about something else than their own due apology. 

;

Del was a mystery at the best of times, Blaze was used to it and knew better than to start asking questions that made them punch him in the throat. He didn’t consider their argument to be a real one, because Del wasn’t themself at the time. Or, maybe she was more of herself. Blaze wasn’t going to judge, he had his own struggle with addiction but he knew if Del didn’t know they had a problem then it was never going to get better. “No news.” Blaze replied to them, stopping near her table and pointing to the seat opposite them. “Mind if I? Feels like you’ve become a ghost you write about. Not even seen you at The Phoenix.”

.

“Whoa, you okay? Did I lose you?” The sounds coming from the other end were muffled and scratchy but then he heard him speak clear again. “Oh, okay, you sure dude? Like, I can totally wait if they’re not okay. I have a bag full of clothes, snacks and stuff.” Along with his tablet, a few comfort comics, edibles, and vapes because he anticipated being bored with a major side of anxiety. He didn’t know if he should be worried about creepy doll person, like were they just being dumb like him and thought they didn’t need to go or what? Lucky wasn’t about to argue with his dad about it though, he had nothing to go off of and Del was his friend, not Lucky’s. “Okay, be careful though, for real. These roads are mad icy.” Lucky put him on speaker phone and set it down on the seat so he could grab his stuff out of the back. Also remember his charger because without it he was going to be a very sad boy. “Wait you do?” He squinted out the window but everything was already frosted over. “Uh,” he checked the door to see if it was locked. “Nah it’s not locked.” Lucky grunted and slammed his shoulder into the door to see if he could open it from the inside. The other side was fucked already he knew because it was all snow. “Here I got an idea, you pull up the handle and I’m going to try to kick it open.” Lucky moved to the passenger seat and got his legs ready to kick it.  

;

Blaze had helped a lot of friends with their kids, and felt the panic and worry but nobody prepared him to know what it really felt like when it was one of his own. Lucky may have been an adult but the thought of something bad happening to him made Blaze feel sick. “No chance I’m leaving you out in this thing.” Blaze laughed because it came as naturally as breathing to want to make sure Lucky was okay first. With the winds picking up and Lucky’s precious jeep buried in snow, Blaze tried to dive right in carefully and shovel with his hands to get a better handle of the door. “Okay, if we can do this without damaging Shelley then we’ve had a good day.” he called back through the window, tugging on the handle but then realizing they needed to countdown. “Alright, on three.” Blaze instructed. “One...two...three.” As soon as he said it he tugged the handle, but couldn’t feel much pressure from the other side, thanks to the snow laying thick. “Lucky, you pushing?” he asked, pulling but finding it hard to get any grip. “What about the back seat, can you climb over and we try the back?”

where: edison high school saturday morning

who: @blazethompscn​

Blaze and Millie were testing the waters. She’d been hesitant at first, only because of the wicked past she’d had with bikers. Blaze was a good man and was always so kind to her and the kids. She’d hardly seen him briefly before all the commotion happened the night before. Enough to ask him if he would check on Del. Millie hadn’t even had the time to thank him for going out in the storm to retrieve Del in the first place. He was special not only to her but for how well he connected with her sibling in ways Millie felt she never would. Not to mention everyone else in the community he helped. There was also the fact that he is incredibly handsome. Which immediately had her blushing like a coy school girl any time he was around. 

Millie moved up beside Blaze with a cup of coffee in each hand. “Good morning, I got you this.” A hand extended the drink out to him. “I suppose it’s not necessarily a good morning, sorry to hear about Kamikaze. Were you two close?” She paused to chew on her bottom lip a second. “Did you get any sleep? Lucky okay?” It was then she realized she was asking too many questions and huffed out a sigh. “By the way I never got a chance to thank you for going to get Del yesterday. So, thanks, it means the world to me.” Millie tapped the coffee cup and offered up a soft smile. 

;

Blaze’s luck in the romance department was non existent, probably because he always carried a torch for the lovely Millie Stanley. She had a beautiful way of treating others but he also knew people who got too close to him were putting themselves in danger. It was difficult to want to stay away from her though, and Blaze could feel a big smile on his face when she reached him.

“For me? You shouldn’t have.” he chuckled, taking the coffee and blowing on it before he took a sip. Blaze was still in shock about Kamikaze, and it felt like not long ago The Keepers were burying Luke Prescott. “Oh, Millie. Don’t you be sorry for a thing. It’s definitely got a lot of us feeling shocked. He was a good man. Now we have to step up and make sure the Jones’ are gonna be okay.” Blaze sighed, sipping the coffee again and licking his lips. “I slept like dog shit, what about you?” he laughed and then nodded about Lucky. “Oh he’s fine, luckily it wasn’t too serious out in that storm. I’m just glad he called me fast enough. I think he thought I was just gonna leave him to figure it out himself.” Blaze laughed. When Millie mentioned Del, he smiled at her and gently used his free hand to touch her shoulder. “Hey, it’s fine. They’re probably hungover real bad today, though. But I’d never leave them somewhere alone. Plus, I’d not want you risking yourself in that storm. Hopefully now everyone will just sit where they’re supposed to and not cause anymore mayhem.”

.

“For real this sucks.” He instantly mumbled in response to the first words out of his father’s mouth. The question prompted him to look down and examine himself, then check the rearview mirror. With as many injuries as he’d had in the past it would not be out of the question for him to take a while to notice if he was hurt. “I don’t think so, just cold. It’s really fuckin’ cold, man.” The worst cold he ever felt to date, this winter stuff was really no joke. “The what? Oh!” He pulled back his phone and put it on speaker so he could send a ping with his current location on it. “Did you get it?” The question came out laced with the growing anxiety he had about being trapped in a winter storm but also his dad coming to get him in said storm. An incredulous laugh fell out of him and he shook his head rapidly even though Blaze couldn’t see it. “No, nope, definitely not your fault that I’m a dumbass.” Lucky countered. “Khalil told me I should go when they did and I thought I’d be fine.” He was such a moron sometimes, he hated himself for it. “Don’t worry, I’ll be here. No chance in the world I’m going outside. Are you going to be okay? Oh damn, okay, you can get them first if you want.” They probably meant more, they’d been in his dad’s life way longer.  

;

Blaze’s worry subsided a little when Lucky said he wasn’t hurt, but there was still a growing instinct to get to him as quickly as possible. He felt his phone buzz with the location, but fumbled for a few moments to get it up without ending the call. “Blastin’...fat fingers.” he grumbled before seeing it and nodding, as if Lucky could see him. “Shit yeah, I got it. I’m on my way now. Del has probably downed the whole liquor cabinet, so she’s warm. You’re first.” he said, grabbing a bunch of blankets as he headed to his truck. “Stay on the call, I won’t be long.” Blaze added, fumbling some more getting his phone into the hands free holder. “I need to take it kind of slow, just so there’s not two of us in a snow ditch and relying on Del to get us out because we’d be Ice Cubes.” he laughed, but it wasn’t far from the truth. He followed the directions as carefully as he could in the conditions, until he saw his sons collided car. “Alright. I see ya.” Blaze said, hanging up and getting out of his truck to go and see what could be done. He wandered to Lucky’s door, trying the handle. “Please say this is just locked and you’re not gonna need to climb out.”

where: edison high school with: @blazethompscn​

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·  

                                                         Lola’s thoughts were always wandering. How did they get big bleachers into the high school? Bit by bit? Did someone have to carry them in, or build them up like furniture flat packs? Even though her thoughts were wondering, she was also an observer and she had noticed someone tending to Lucky. A simple method of deduction meant it could be Lucky’s mysterious father she never got to meet until now. “Blaze, right?” she asked with a wide smile. “Lucky’s dad?” she then clarified, gesturing to the boy in question. “We know each other from California. I studied there and lived there for a while after college. He’s told me a lot about you.”

;

Blaze’s mind was a little preoccupied with all the near misses that had happened so far. First Lucky and then Del and then his fellow biker’s death. He was still in shock, pacing around to try and get some of the adrenaline out of his system. He almost didn’t hear Lola’s words. “Huh? I do something?” he asked, looking around before he heard her correctly. “Oh shit, well I’m sure Lucky has mentioned you but I’m a little...” strung out was a good word and Blaze was thinking about seeing if anyone stashed some whiskeys but then Del would probably appear from nowhere and steal them. “It’s nice to meet you. I hope he’s said nice things about me, but I guess I’ve never heard him say something bad about anybody.” Blaze laughed.

-

Del was erratic at the best of times, and this wasn’t a best time. Feeling exposed was the worst emotion in her mind, and nothing was more exposing than arriving late to a whole town in a gymnasium barely able to walk. Blaze’s words just went in one ear and out of the other, irritating Del by the noise more than what was being said. It wasn’t as if they could make much sense of it anyways. “I don’t give a fuck about your sober story, Blaze.” Del seethed, automatically whacking the water bottle out of the way so it fell to the ground. This was when they got nasty, which was why they tried to hide away once the first few drinks were finished. “If you don’t get out of my fucking face, I swear to God Blaze.” they threatened, despite the embarrassing attempt at trying to stand up straight and intimidating. It looked more like someone trying to stop the wind from knocking them on their ass. “You know how I function? Without people anywhere fucking near me so if you want to help go away, huddle up with somebody who likes being treated like a fucking child and stay away from me.”

;

Blaze knew from his own experience that Del didn’t mean any of this, and it was just the vodka...and whiskey talking. He just watched the water bottle drop to the ground and leaned to fetch it up as they continued yelling. “I’m not in your face but you need to sleep this off.” he replied and he also didn’t care if now was not the right time to talk to Del about her drinking habits. There was no right time to tell someone to knock the booze off, and he didn’t care if they were going to have an almighty argument for the whole town to see. Blaze grabbed Del by the waist and threw her over his shoulder, beginning to march to a nearby classroom. “You might not like being around other people but there’s plenty of people who...kinda like being around you. Mille loves you for Christ sake. Trix sure as Hell warmed up to you and River looks at you like they look at Trix. Onyx and Frankie think you’re great. Stevie likes ya. I like ya, sometimes. And I’m sure once Lucky trusts you won’t put a haunted doll in his bed, he’ll like you too. He likes everybody. So maybe cut this loner bullshit out, huh?” he threw Del on the couch and then threw a blanket over them. “Sleep and shut the fuck up, for the love of God.”

where: town road somewhere

who: @blazethompscn​

                               “Shit, shit, shit,” Lucky hadn’t the first clue how to drive in snow, even if he thought he was getting the hang of it. Add nearly zero visibility, plus ice and the man was fucked three ways from Sunday. Before he knew it his land rover was spinning and crashed right into a snowbank. There was no way he was getting out of it and he hadn’t the first clue how to get to the high school from where he was at. He didn’t want to bother Blaze or put his dad in danger because he was an idiot but he didn’t have much of a choice so he pulled out his phone and dialed. “Um, hey, so I know I was supposed to go to the school earlier but I thought it would be okay but the power went out and on my way there I crashed into a snowbank and now I don’t know where I am or how to get there.” Lucky’s words trailed off and he nervously shook his leg. “I don’t know what to do, dad.”

;

Del was already not answering their phone and Lucky seemed to have vanished, which meant Blaze was a heap of nerves at the high school. He was just done texting Del another gigantic question mark when the screen flashed with Lucky’s name, and a dumb ringtone because he could never work out how to turn the volume down. “Oh shit.” he breathed out after Lucky explained what happened. “Are you hurt?” Blaze asked, not meaning to shout it but he was panicking. “Ping me the location thing, we can do that now can’t we?” He remembered Del doing it when they were going to collect a haunted item from somewhere and now he had a little dot on his phone that told him Del’s movements, which sometimes he really wished he didn’t have because they visited a trailer he knew of quite well. “I should’ve told you that Colorado weather can be real mean, so that’s on me. You stay put, I gotta go get...haunted doll freak too.” he said, already marching to the high school doors. 

@blazethompscn​ at: gymnasium 

-

He was just doing it because he cared. Del could hear that annoying voice in the back of their mind, one that they preferred wasn’t there at all. But it didn’t make Blaze’s fussing any easier to deal with. In fact, slowly the drunkenness was turning into anger. It always did. Why did he care? It was just a drink or two, they were napping. “Shut the fuck up.” Del ended up hissing, not sure if they were directing it to Blaze or their own brain. After the sudden outburst, she stumbled a little and drew a breath. “Just stop, okay? I’m not a child.” Not a child but certainly looked as if they were a toddler trying to walk and talk. “Can you just back up, give me some fucking space? Is that too much to ask?” they blinked, noticing the water bottle hovering near their face. In an instinct, Del shoved it away. “Do I look like a fish? Fuck off, Blaze.”

;

“I didn’t say anything.” Blaze grumped to his friend, because Del had already tested his patience. He had never called someone so many times out of panic before, and definitely not Del either. Between the writer and his son, Blaze was going to need a blood pressure check and he wasn’t somebody who worried very often. “Kids were already here an hour ago and didn’t need me to go out in that thing.” he wasn’t mad, but he was stressed. He waved the water bottle back in their face, wanting them to sober up before they got themself in any other sort of troublesome situation. “You don’t look like a fish but you look like shit so drink up, try and get some color back in your cheeks. You look like I just dug you out of a grave and that’s the last sort of rumor I need floating around.” he tapped the water bottle on Del’s hand for her to take. “I don’t care if you’re drunk, by the way. I technically haven’t even been sober for a good twenty years because I like a whiskey or three, so there’s no judgment but Jesus Christ. It’s getting in the way of you functioning? Do I need to say it?”