i'll be your anchor

Super positive. 

Where did you get it?

You wouldn’t ever want me to have another baby like Tempie did? Then you’d get to be a big sister. Alright, well if you change your mind we can go get them done okay? I’ll even get a second one in my ear with you so it won’t be so scary. Mhm you got that right, they are definitely our family, and I love them all.

Uh---I don’t know, maybe. When I’m big though, not right now. We have too many babies. Plus I don’t think I’d be a good big sister like Sailor is. Alright--you can do that? That might be fun, maybe when I’m bigger. I love them too, well most of them. 

Well, I have a good feeling that nobody here will leave… This is my family now and I trust mostly everyone here. 

Maybe--maybe not. They have to prove themselves first. 

So, you don’t trust any guys here or in general? 

Mommy wants me to trust Theo but I don’t. I don’t trust anybody really--when you trust people they leave. You should only trust in your family but like the real ones--not the mean Daddies or anything. 

Don’t worry, I want you to keep it Blaze. 

You’re positive?

Oh, c’mon that’s not fully true. What if you had a brother, would you not be able to trust him? 

I don’t know, I don’t have a brother. Just a sister. 

Good. I’m glad she’s your sissy too, she’s a good sissy isn’t she? Your ears pierced? You never told me you wanted em’ pierced. Do you still want em’? We can go tomorrow, if you’re not gunna get scared. Well it is a fun job because I get to have you two, just tough sometimes when the hard parts come in. That is exactly right, family is stronger when everyone is on each others side. Don’t ever forget that smart girl.

She’s the best sissy. I don’t want anybody else to be my sissy, well maybe Tempie but I still love them the same. I think it would be cool but--I don’t know I’m kind of nervous. I think I just want stickers still. It still sounds hard. I won’t--I love our family, Tempie and Eli and their babies and everybody in our house. They’re our family too, right?

Well it’s you’re turn over everyone since you haven’t seen em’. They like to just sit there and be cute, and eat, they love to drink their bottles, and drool or hold onto your finger so tight you can’t believe it’s a baby holding you. Eliana likes to kick her feet around too. Well I was wondering if you would be the flower girl in my wedding? How could you tell?

And you just sit there and watch them? Do you ever get bored watching them? Mommy doesn’t even sit around that long when i’m coloring---I think she gets bored. Your wedding? You’re getting married---I--yes, definitely, if you want me to be. Um because you take good care of me and if you do that for your babies then you would do a good job. Plus, you really wanted the babies and you take care of things best when you want them. 

Don’t worry, I will be. You don’t trust boys? 

Nope--boys are icky. You can’t trust them. 

What do you mean, but why? You don’t want it? 

It looks like something you should keep.

I’ll make sure no one else comes by, that way you can have your turn finally. I like when you’re happy, which reminds me, I have a special question to ask you. You did? 

She won’t. She lets me borrow her shoes. As long as I put them back. 

Alright it’s settled, what do we do now?

Now I run away and hide and you try and find me. 

He treats me way better than just kissing me, Blaze. He always knows how to make me feel better whenever I’m upset and is always there for me. 

If you say so. Just be careful. 

It won’t, I pinky promise baby. –Breaking walls of trust? You’ve been hanging with Sails huh? I do love you both best all the time, but sometimes moms have a tough job with having to be in charge and saying no and teaching our kids the right things to do. No, I don’t. I think it’d be exhausting to fake that for all these years. I think he absolutely means it– and if it doesn’t work out that way, we’ll be okay, we always find a way to be okay again, but I don’t think he’s lying.

I pinky promise too. Maybe just a little bit--she’s really fun. I’m glad she’s my sissy. We do fun things together like buy stick on earrings and talk about fun things and not get my ears pierced like I wanted. That doesn’t sound like a fun job. We will be okay, we’re stronger together--we can get through anything together. 

No, of course not. No one can ever replace you and Sails, you two are my babies, my very first loves and Theo knows that, he’d never want to take y’alls place. Theo is a different kind of love, he makes me happy, like when we hold hands or hug, I can feel little itty bitty butterflies in my tummy and it’s nice to have someone to do that. He was my very best friend when Nana had my job, and I was Sails age, even a little younger than her, so we’ve known each other a long time. He also hates when people hurt me, which means he’ll never let you know who back to hurt us ever again. He’s a good man, the type of man that I would want you or Sails to love one day. That’s why I love him. 

Good--I never want that to happen. Even if you get mad at us, like if I break your wall of trust or whatever--I want you to love us best all the time. And you don’t think he’s faking? Like even a little bit. 

Some boys aren’t dumb. Yeah, I do like a certain boy. He treats me like a princess. 

Like a princess? All the princes in the movies--all they do is kiss the princess. Is that how he treats you?