staying ☾ iwaizumi hajime
content: bsf!iwaizumi x reader, timeskip (post-college), angst, mentions of cheating, alcohol, might be ooc
heyyyy i ran out of drimks
can yuo grab some and come ovrr pleaseeeee?)
iwaizumi sees your notifications pop up as he stands in the middle of the store trying to read his grocery list.
the only time you ever get drunk is after a breakup. he wipes a hand over his face, contemplating his choices. closing his phone, he decides to finish his own shopping another time and runs to the alcohol section, grabbing some of your favourite snacks on the way.
he shouldn’t be letting you drink more in the state you’re in, but he knows that it helps you forget, and that’s all he wants to do right now. after grabbing a bottle, he checks out, and rushes out the door, tight grip on the bag in his hands.
he arrives at your door, catching his breath and mentally prepares himself before he decides to knock. he hears the sound of footsteps coming closer and with a few clicks, the door swings open. your eyes brighten when you see him “iwa! what are you doing here?” you say excitedly, opening your arms out and reaching forward to hug him.
“you texted me to come over.” he bluntly states as you wrap your arms around him.
“really? i don’t remem- oh are those snacks!”
he snatches the bag away before you’re hands can reach it. “not now, you can have some later.”
“awww c’mon” you whine, trailing behind him as he walks to your couch.
you both go to sit down as he takes the bottle out of the bag and places it on the coffee table. “oh my gosh! how’d you know i ran out?” you grab the bottle as soon as it hits the table and pop it open. he stares at you with a straight face for a bit before looking down to stare at his knees instead. “lucky guess” he muttered.
this isn’t the first time this has happened and it’s always the same cycle. you end a relationship, get wasted, text iwaizumi to come over, and he ends up taking care of you while your drunk.
he knows he should stop. he doesn’t have to take care of you. he tells himself that he’s not gonna give in the next time this happens. but every time he gets that drunk text from you, he ends up dropping everything and goes to your house anyway.
“your turn!” your voice takes him out of his train of thought and he feels you nudge the bottle to his shoulder.
he pushes it away, “don’t want any.”
“please iwa, just one sip!” you plead pointing the bottle to his face.
he gives in too quickly, grabbing it and taking a small sip. however, he immediately hands it back to you as he feels the bitter, unpleasant taste coat his tongue. you giggle at the grimace on his face. he can’t help but smile as soon as he hears your laugh, even if it’s directed towards his suffering.
he watches as you continue to basically chug the bottle, taking breaks in between to ramble about some new show you started watching. you keep bringing up random stories and points that have nothing to do with what you’re saying. iwaizumi doesn’t mind though, he’s happy to listen to your voice anyway.
he doesn’t ask what happened, why you broke up—he never does. you don’t mention it either. at least, not until your sober. he just lets you drink your heart out and rant about your meaningless thoughts until you fall asleep.
at least that’s what usually happens…
he doesn’t know why, but this time feels different.
you place the now empty bottle back onto the coffee table, sighing as you lay your head back against the couch.
“i caught him with another girl this morning.”
iwaizumi immediately turns his head to face you, his eyes widening at the sudden confession, "really?”
“mhm, we had a fight yesterday so i thought maybe if i went over to his place with breakfast, we could apologize, talk y’know?”
you sigh “but… i guess he had other plans”
iwaizumi hums in response, not knowing what else to say. he isn’t shocked about the fighting or the cheating—that’s what usually happens, unfortunately. obviously, it still makes him mad, but he’s more surprised that you’re talking about it while you’re drunk.
you continue “i think i should just give up on finding love, maybe it just doesn’t exist”
“that’s not true” he knows that love exists. why else would he be spending his saturday night like this?
“hmmm… yeah you know what maybe you’re right, love does exist. it’s just that no one feels it for me”
iwaizumi bites his tongue, fighting back the words trying to escape his mouth. “now that’s definitely not true”
“really iwa? are you really sure about that?” you start speaking louder
“every single time i think i’ve found someone that actually loves me, i end up being wrong” he hears your voice starting to break, but he can’t get a word in.
“they always say that i’m too much, or that i’m- i’m not enough. i always have to—hic—change something. no one ever just loves me for me” the tears begin to pour out just as the hiccups start
without thinking he wraps his arms around you, pulling you towards his chest. he quickly realizes what he just did, but before he can pull away you lean into his embrace. your weight pushes him back and now his head is lying against the armrest of the couch while your body is lying on top of his.
“why does no one—hic—love me?” your words are muffled and followed by more sobs as you cried into his hoodie.
the worst part was, he didn’t know how to respond.
all he could do was hold you closer and hope that his feelings would somehow seep themselves into you.
he wants you to know how much he loves you, how he’s never stopped loving you for years. he just can’t bring himself to say it out loud. he’s tried to deny these feelings and push them away, but it’s impossible because it’s you.
one of his hands caresses your hair, as he listens to your sniffles slowly fade.
“promise me you’ll stay?” you say softly, turning your head up to look at him.
he gazes at your face, your cheeks flushed, eyes glossy, and lips still quivering. he can’t take it, he hates seeing you like this.
he nods and pushes your head back down to his chest. one more second and he would’ve spilled his heart out.
of course he’ll stay—you’re all he thinks about. you consume his mind everyday. even with your stupidly long rants or your drunken breakdowns, he will still stay with you no matter what, in whatever way you’d like him to.
he knows how pathetic he is. he craves much more of you than you give him. but this moment, holding you in his arms, is enough for now. he can’t help but squeeze you tighter and bury his face in your hair. a small part of him hopes that you remember this tomorrow.
you guys stay like that for a while until there’s an absence of hiccups and all he hears coming from you is a quiet rhythm of breathing.
he felt content like this. he wishes it was always like this. he feels his own body drifting into slumber, and as he closes his eyes, he hopes he dreams about you.
snowghoul
jbbartram-illu
titsay
annaxmalina
vaporwave
pixelskylines
