it's the chest hair.

“Did I ever ask you,” Varric began, arm slung around Kili’s shoulder, “if you were here for thatmess of a crazy poison? Y’know, the one that made people…well, crazy.” Upon turning the corner, he made a grand gesture with his free hand, showing an open field area with a bunch of dummies and targets strewn around. It wasn’t glamorous— he was Varric, after all.

“It made me realize how rusty I was, so I got this place.”

He’d been here for too long, his movements weren’t what they used to be. He was becoming more more dwarfy, and less rogue— his heavy boots now made noise when he walked, and blending in? Not an option. He was becoming too much like the others in the city, loud and unabashed, that he almost missed the redhead gliding through the shadows, a whisper on the wind.

He stopped in his tracks, hand raised to shield the sun in hopes of getting a better look. “Nightingale? Is that you? Hate to break it to you, but there’s no nugs hidden back there. Or anywhere here, really.”

[ Varric ]: Thankfully, things not going well is my specialty. 

[ Varric ]: ...will this be one of those “make or break” type answers?

the brunette hadn’t been TRYING to seem like she was wholly out of place in this world before panem. still, it seemed to be a talent of hers — as easy as the precise swing of an ax. “— YOU KNOW, i think my feet hit the ground on the right side, then YOU came along and ruined every little bit of my good mood. TRAGIC.”

The dwarf laughed, always appreciating good snark when he heard it. “You know— I think you’re the first person to ever say that to me. Usually they think I’m a delight. I may have to mark this on my calendar.” All his life he’d been surrounded by mercenaries and cut-throats, and along with being an author, words could never compare to the sharp blade held to your throat.

— CONTINUED FROM HERE ! 

johanna’s brow quirked, a hand reaching down to rest on a slender hip. the people here were STRANGE, undoubtedly, but no one could compare to the capitol. “—- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?” she asked, voice lacking its usual bite. instead, it was laced with confusion. 

                                          ( @blamethedwarf ! )

Varric sighed, giving his head a soft shake. “Another phrase, like another way of saying ‘waking up on the wrong side of the bed’. Heard of that one, I take it?” He’d been running into the strangest people lately. Sure, he knew strange, but he was starting to see that he was somehow one of the less odd things here.

An eerie silence surrounds them…until thr lights go out and the wrapper is put In Kili’s hair…and the doll disappears. “Oh ha ha very funny ! Getting this oddly looking wrapping thing in my hair.” Kili huffs

Very slowly, Varric tip-toes over to his fellow dwarf. He pokes at the wrapper. “Let’s get this out of your hair...literally.” He chuckles to himself at his own ‘joke’, and as soon as he takes it from Kili’s hair, a cold, unsettling presence passes over him. The wrapper is yanked from his hand. “Oh-kay, okay, okay, stay calm.” He says, talking more to himself than Kili. “So, which way did we come in here?”

her delicate fingers brush off a few more puffs of glitter from his shoulder. “ i think i’m losing you already, ” she teases, a hint of mock terror in his voice. “ you’re disappearing underneath all that glitter, varric! ”

Varric raises his arm dramatically, forcing croaking sounds from his throat. “This is the end of the line for me, kid. Tell them where I hid my will...that just says a statue must be made of me. Every chest hair must be perfectly sculpted.”

@blamethedwarf || continued from x

“And would I be safe to assume that is something you always said to Hawke when Anders came around with another stray?” Zevran asked the dwarf, still laughing as he did.

Varric laughed, picturing an exact scene of what the Antivan just described. “Hawke, Isabela, anyone who would listen, really. How people can handle them I’ll never understand. Hawke’s mabari though, now that’s a pet. Cute and useful.”

━━ @blamethedwarf ft varric tethras    /    continued from ( x ).

“ ━━ aww, don’t be so sour. ” she says between soft bits of laughter. “ it wasn’t on purpose. it wouldn’t be so exciting if they didn’t embarrass somebody. ”

Varric scoffs, and attempts to dust off the glitter he’d suddenly been coated in. “Next time, those magicians should really pick on someone their own size. I could drown in this stuff.”

Kili immediately pulls out his sword.  “Yea !  Preferably not for dwarves like Varric who have a lot more to live for.”  He says.  “Do…do you want gold ?”  Kili asks, pulling out a pack of gold coins from Erebor’s endless pile of gold. 

Varric looks over to Kili, dramatically placing his hand over his heart. “That’s got to be the nicest thing anyone’s said about me.” However, the food drops from his hand to the floor. In shock, he kicks the food in the direction of the doll. He gulps. “Um...nice ghosty?”

Starter Meme || accepting || @spiritcfmagic

“I don’t care what you say, cats are evil.”

Starter Meme || accepting || @roguerifts

“Instead of treated, we get tricked.”

“Demons ?  I don’t know what that is but I will attack the ghost if it attacks us.”  The young dwarf says…and then the doll laughs, creeping him out more.  “Varric…is that doll the one with the string that talks ?”  He asks, abut ready to kick that doll away..  

Varric stumbled back, nearly knocking his eye out with the crossbow still clutched in his arms. “Oh Maker I hope so— but that would mean there’s someone in here with us.” He said the last part of his sentence much faster than he’d ever admit to. He rifled into his pocket and pulled out what he’d been hoping to have for dinner. “Hey, ghosty, are ya hungry?” He began waving the wrapped food in the air, hoping that would save them.

“Then how did it move ?  He gasps at the thought..  “Does that mean…are we dealign with ghosts ?”  Kili asks.  “because I’m not afraid to stab it.”  Of course Kili would want to stab a ghost.  

Varric removed his crossbow from his back and, instead of holding it threateningly, simply hugged it to his chest. “I never thought I’d wish it was demons but...at least you can stab those. Ghosts? Well...you sure can be the first to try.”

@blamethedwarf continued from here

“What do you mean what do I mean ?” He whines, more creeped out at the doll that moved by itself.   “I didn’t move the doll.  I thought you moved the doll.”  

Varric vehemently shook his head. “You think I’d want to touch that creepy thing? Nope— this is too creepy.”

Starter Meme || accepting || @timclcdy​

“Oh, hey. I found my old bunny slippers.”

Starter Meme || accepting || @hiddcninplainsight​

“Holy crap, what do you use for a pillow, bricks?”