WHERE ARE MY FEELINGS?

   Their fight was away from the group. An isolated storm amidst the castle’s walls, a relationship that had brewed beneath their noses and evolved into something much greater than just a simple Paladin bond.  He knew firsthand what it felt like to be on the sidelines, to watch from the Castle and help as much as he could ——

   But it wasn’t enough for him, and he sure as hell knows it would never be enough for Keith. With a fire burning inside as bright as his, the Red Paladin deserves to ignite. He still has so much to discover about himself, so much to see and learn. For a man held captive for two years, the deepest secrets of the universe became less and less appealing. But Keith ? This was his  REAL  home.

   It’s a while before Shiro can make eye contact with him. Instead he looks at his armor, hung like a trophy in his personal ‘closet’ of an armory. He can’t bear to think of Keith leaving. Not after how many times they’d been pried apart, separated by circumstance only to tear themselves adrift voluntarily. The Paladin’s eyes meet Keith’s. He doesn’t have a real solution. Not one that would make any sense, or be for the greater good, at least; and it wouldn’t be like him to take the selfish route. It doesn’t stop the mild anger.

   ❝ You are part of Voltron , Keith. We can’t do it without you. ❞  There’s a raised tone, but no bite behind his words. Shiro could always imagine the team minus himself, but he’d never considered it without Keith.  ❝ I just got back. My Bond with Black shouldn’t stop you from being part of this team. ❞

Shiro   is   right.   He   shouldn’t   be   letting   his   bond   with   the   black   lion   get   in   the   way   of   Keith   staying,      but   he   was.      All   Keith   could   think   about   is   all   the     mistakes     he   made   while   in   the   lead.   How   many   times   had   he   nearly   gotten   someone     killed  ?     How   many   times   had   he   lost   all   rational   thought  ?   How   many   times   had   he      failed      as   the   leader   of   Voltron.

They   can’t   be   Voltron   without   him ?   That’s   not   how   Keith   saw   it.   If     anything     Voltron   couldn’t   function     without     Shiro   in   the   lead.   Shiro   always   kept   it   together   when   everyone   else   couldn’t,   and   that   was   a   trait   that   couldn’t   be     taught     and   it   was   a   trait   Keith   could     never     learn. 

❝   I   don’t   care   about   my   bond   with   Black  !   I     never     wanted   to   bond   with   her  !   ❞   Those   words   were      never      supposed   to   leave   his   mouth.   He’d   never   vocalized   how   much   he      hated      being   forced   to   lead   whenever   their   leader   had   returned   and   could   pilot   Black   without   fear,   while   Keith   only    led   with   the   fear   of   never   being   enough,   of   being   a     failure.