Black Magic Ink

“what’s the worst fruit” i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. ‘the worst fruit’… has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt

Red Delicious Apples

I think I might be about to send a deranged email

People who try to copy historical writing styles don't say enough weird stuff in them. I'm listening to a 1909 story about a ghost car right now, and the narrator just said he honked the car horn a bunch of times, but the way he phrased it was "I wrought a wild concerto on the hooter".

Reblog to wreak a wild concerto on a hooter

This is literally the inside of my brain like 90% of the time I am writing.

When a mommy hates a daddy very much, mommy will conspire with daddy’s coworkers to discreetly steal his genetic material during a night of passion between daddy and his two coworkers who hate each other almost as much as they hate daddy, so that mommy can use daddy’s genetic material to create a living bomb that she will detonate to breach a locked tomb that only opens for daddy or a close blood relative, like a living bomb made out of one half of daddy’s stolen dna, that contains the death of daddy and his evil empire, and sometimes mommy will fail because one person in her ill advised polyclue, who is actually two people in one body but only one of them knows this and who are both daddy’s coworkers but not the ones who stole his dna, will push mommy with her living bomb out of an airlock during which she will die and fall down onto a decrepit planet that guards the locked tomb with her still alive and undetonated bomb. And that’s how babies are made!