stay golden

September 24th is when I went into my surgery. I was completely confident that I was coming out with no bag. I remember waking up in recovery and the first thing I asked was If I had a bag. The nurse said yes. I thought I would have cried but I just accepted it. That night I remember seeing it for the first time. I was disgusted with myself. But I moved on. It’s life, it’s not fair. It doesn’t go your way, it doesn’t care about hurting your feelings, it cares about surviving. It does what it has to, TO SURVIVE. So that’s what I’m doing. Surviving. It may not be the way I wanted it to be, but who cares? I get to eat the foods I want. I get to have freaking coffee again! I never could have that. I’m 21 years old. I have an ileostomy. I’m glad to have had an ileostomy. Its taught me patience and it’s taught me to be optimistic. I have Crohn’s disease and I’m living.