yolo.

    Since she wasn’t popular in middle school due to her appearance, she’d often find a secluded spot to hang out in. She didn’t want to bother anyone with her presence after all. But above all else, she most definitely wanted to avoid anyone who was prone to teasing her. Although she’d always refuse to admit just how much their words hurt her, she couldn’t deny the lump in her throat that’d form every time she’d hear them talk. Maybe it wasn’t fair of them to call her names just because she looked different, but she couldn’t bring herself to stand up for herself. She was scared of what else they might do or say to her. The names could get worse, the poking harder, and the stories even worse giving her teacher more reasons to join in on the teasing. Thus, she chose to remove herself from others when she was unable to be with her brother, or his friends. 

    Her eyes moved to look at her own face reflected in the pool water. She examined how round her face was especially when combined with her chubby cheeks. She ran a hand through her short hair that was cut in a messy matter and even though her mother promised to never use such blunt scissors, she didn’t mind the overall result. Finally, her eyes focused on the huge pair of lips. It’s not like she ever disliked them, but ever since she started her education she grew to like them less and less. She frowned, then proceeded to kick the water with her foot, effectively making her reflection disappear. It was best not to think about this now, even though the thoughts were getting louder. Luckily, wetness of her socks took her attention away from them. As she tried to dry off, she didn’t realize the approaching footsteps behind her. Before she could turn around to see who it was, she was pushed into the pool. 

    Hiroko was quick to panic about her current state as her smaller body made an impact with the cold water. She could feel the air getting sucked out of her lungs. She trashed around and started flinging her arms trying to stay on the surface, but to no avail. She couldn’t think straight and instead she allowed fear to swallow her whole, just like the waters of the pool. She didn’t want to die, even if it meant living in such a sad reality she had lived in thus far. There was so much more she wanted to do and see. She wanted to play that new game she received from her aunt, or have at least one more bite of her father’s curry rice. She wanted to receive so many hugs still from her mother and her brother Shinji. Not to mention her long term desires like finding true love, being loved by someone for the way she was and starting a family. She couldn’t die now. It was too early, and it wasn’t fair. Yet, it felt like her time might have just came... Her vision became blurry. Her hand and legs were slowly giving in to tiredness. She felt so cold, and so alone. Just when she thought it was over she —

                                                              “Huh? Oh ew...”

    She rubbed her tired eyes, and then wiped off the drool from her arm with a grimace. A sigh left her lips as she stretched herself slightly. Although it was all a dream, this event did actually take place, but luckily for her she was saved by her friend Yuuto before it was too late. Thank goodness, she thought to herself before falling back onto her bed. “Wouldn’t want that happening again...” she muttered quietly while wrapping a blanket around her body. Even though it was all in the past, the thought of finding herself in a bigger body of water still terrified her. She loved the beach, yet she never dared to step into the water, worrying that a wave might have pulled her under and she’d simply drown. Maybe one day she will be able to swim again... “Alright, five more minutes” she said out loud, readying herself to go back to sleep. However her plans were interrupted by her alarm. “Oh fine! I’ll get up.” she called out dramatically before lazily getting up from the bed.