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The cutesy lovable little squid idol meets grouchy kitty emperor
That's all
(PLEASE FEED MY CALLIE HYPERFIXATION PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)
Hii!! I dunno who that person was and this could be very ooc (i only saw her pic on google, sorry!), but I'll do my best! Thank you for the ask!
Well, Emperor is screwed. He's sensitive as shit, and now you have two long tentacles you can touch him with from a mile away. He's over, his dignity and life as the emperor could only degrade over time now.
If you're an idol in the future, he'll be quite appreciative. He likes listening to music anyways, whether it's just his mother playing guzheng to him, or anything. And listening to you sing makes him happy.
But back to the horny part. You just like to place the suckers on his boobs?? And he'll look at you with an impressed expression but goes on about his day. But please don't wiggle those on his nipples... He's probably gonna groan from the sudden movement and glare at you.
Kitty! Emperor who sulks in between your boobs, with your tentacles gently rubbing his face apologetically... While he's just grumbling and his tail is thumping side to side because even if he's angry, he's also very happy to be cuddling with you!
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If anyone is wondering yeah I'm alive, and yes I still plan on making stray sagau chapters just haven't been in the mood or have the time to write something
Sorry for dying on y'all but school has been a MF to me and my mental health/writing sense
Apologies and in hopefully (if I remember) I'll post some art I have done
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Does that mean neo 3 (who was supposed to be the original agent 3) has to realize that their boss is literally half their age, and probably scolding everyone for letting a TEEN be captain
And now I'm thinking about agent 8 and four swapping places now
If that happens it could be that 8 is just pretending to be an inkling (doing a poor job but somehow still getting away with it)
so I'm actually gonna get back to you on what's up with Ghost (og agent 3) in this au in a later post, but your idea of 4 and 8 swapping made me go kinda feral.
I think for this au, Marie would be less into the idea of finding another child to solve society's problems and instead attempted to hunt down Octavio herself. It didn't exactly work out, but she DID find a soldier who was inclined towards leaving the army and helping get back Callie. (That would be Harbor AKA agent 8)
As for Nettie (agent 4), I wasn't really sure at first how to fit him into octo expansion. It felt weird taking the "octo" out of it, yknow? However, I remembered that I have some beloved OCs I can jam in there with her. So everyone welcome back Storm, except this time as a kid around Leo(og neo 3, the child craig picked up. this is getting confusing do you see why i'm using their names)'s age
Nettie mistakes Leo and Craig for police or government officials coming after them and starts a fight. It goes. Interestingly.
I'm probably gonna make a more in-depth post about what happens in octo expansion regarding Leo getting potentially sanitized and all the trauma inflicted on Storm, and then eventually make a post about how Ghost ends up against Grizz, but we'll get there when we get there. Thank you so much for this ask! As you can see it really inspired me.
Am i wrong to think that in stuff concerning music, Venti should at least get a mention if not an appearance and even a few lines? Like....you can't just make him say, "i know all music past present and future," make everything about him related to music and not include him in music related events.
Also
I get that Venti's second story quest and his lore is mostly endgame content but he literally has so much to offer do they have to act like he (or other characters too) doesn't exist until those big reveals? This amount of delaying really causes the audience to disconnect and even forget about some of the important points
Can't they at least give *some* content with him? Like, none at all? It's just kinda really frustrating, and i feel like they're stalling too much it's so disappointing.
In all fucking honesty whenever a franchise hypes shit up to this huge extent it usually turns out to be not really that worthy of it all in the end.
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^^ The posts being referenced in ask, (OG Razor ask) (Benny + Razor) and a more direct sequel, a part 2? a part 4 atp?? of this post (Imposter/Not Dark AU + Razor + Diluc) ^^
OMFG
ALRIGHT LISTEN UP BITCHES
SINCE UR IN TEYVAT
YOU GONNA COOK LIKE TEYVAT
AS IN-
SHIT BE SUPER EASY TO COOK, AND MASS MAKE DEPENDING ON COMPLEXITY OF DISH
(So, like Zhongli's special Bamboo Shoot Soup is like getting made... once a year if you read the little desc. for that dish đ)
AND THEYRE ALL LIKE-
ANIME GORGEOUS FOODS â¨ď¸â¤ď¸âđĽ
OKAY SO
PROMO TIME-
U GUYS HAVE TO WATCH THE ANIME "CAMPFIRE COOKING IN ANOTHER WORLD"
Bc that's mostly where this inspo gonna come from to both be realistic cooking + best parts of video game cooking
A guy gets isekaiâd and instead of hero powers he just gets the skill of "online grocery shopping" LMAO
and ofc he gets insta gifted whatever he orders and starts making dishes and adding spices and regular stuff you know. like soy sauce.
but the best part is the food in that world is like British medieval soup shit
like barely salted, no spices definitely, no sauces, its barren
so he ends up attracting all kinds of interest that want to eat his cooking ofc
And it gives buffs too!
dw i didnt spoil anything u don't learn in the first episode, but that's just to say that's exactly whats happening here
u DO have to manually collect more ingredients but its so worth it, also u can just buy in bulk or put a commission thru the adventurer guild
tbhhh now that i say that, that could be how u end up drawing in Bennyâs Adventure Team even more, bc they just take all ur quests for collecting ingredients around Mond!!
(u have to actively sneak behind their back and whisper to Katheryne that you want to put in other food quests in other guilds tho, silly kids will absolutely go running around Liyue and crazy shit just to have an adventure and do smth for you + eat ur banger food lol)
omfg the first time u barbecue smth???
the wolves, Razor, and Andrius??? Go feral.
Fischl and Benny who were already on their way to u guys to hang out again start booking it thru the woods, dodging hilichurl camps (thatve since settled down and been v peaceful to the wolves + anyone in the woods of Wolvendom after u started living there)
they knowww ur cookin smth fucking amazing
(and u even have some hilichurls and mitachurl that wander close to Andriusâ edge of the woods to shyly beg for scraps,, u give them a portion)
Razor was actually lookin at u like u hung the stars just for him when u gave him a homemade barbecue sauce to put on his food
(u acc may have done that to Teyvatians according to Andrius + the stories u overheard from SpringvaleâŚ)
ok but the amount of begging u get for desserts like-
No, Razor u cannot have chocolate cake/cupcakes after every meal, u need to take care of ur teeth
(u use ur collection of mora-monster-donations for comms for more ingredients and living supplies like fabric + furniture, u cant afford dental on top of that for ur boy)
Fischl dutifully declares you the âbest chef in the kingdomâ and writes down all ur recipes (u have them auto-stored in ur settings obv but it cant hurt to have a physical copy, and they look so happy doing it, u don't have the heart to tell them its not necessary-)
Benny insists on both giving u extra ingredients when he takes ur commissions, and giving u handmade trinkets or weapons for the meals!!
No!! He will not take âim goodâ for an answer!! ur sharing ur home-cave with him, taking care of his best friend Razor, and now feeding him food better than Liuli Pavilion!!! Thereâs no way he can just take all that and give nothing back!!!!
and theyre not the only ones getting some food tbh
when the knights begin patroling near Wolvendom and slowly all of Mondstadt to search for their âAll Godâ, u break up the beginnings of a fight between 2 confused knights and the now peaceful hilichurl camp at the edge of Wolvendom
U offer some snacks u were going to give Bennyâs Adventure Team when they got back (u made little triangle sandwiches, rice balls, etc. finger foods, and u made plenty extra bc u kno their teenage appetites lol)
the knights and hilichurls nearly cried with appreciation, which made for a hilarious sight when the teens actually showed up lmao
ur wearing ur cloak, bc u dont wanna take on that whole âcreator of worldsâ title just yet, and the kids helped verify u werent anyone suspicious (Benny + Fischl keep ur godly secret, theyre the best like that đĽ°)
the knights just swing by for snacks occasionally (they also either pay u in trade or with mora, theyre not bullies)
another person who gets flavored food privileges is the lazy librarian witch herself
u also sometimes pick Razor up from Lisaâs tutoring and bring âthe best tea and tea snacks in the worldâ along with to share with Lisa and him
(she is also fully aware after awhile of meeting u of what u are, and fully believes this is why the food must be enchanted to be so good, but u dont want to be treated super reverently she can tell, so she keeps ur secret too and is just extra flirty when u come by lol)
(Razor refuses to let his pare- Lupical move out of ur cozy cave to the library, so he sometimes hauls u away when Lisa flirts too much LMAO)
âŚand the moment you've been waiting for.
Yes, Diluc got to try ur food that night he was searching Wolvendom for signs of the god of Teyvat
tbh Diluc was half-convinced that shit was a fever dream.
a bunch of sleepy wolves, a coffee table in the stone colosseum, a giant spirit wolf licking a big plate clean, the wolf-kid glaring at him, and you.
you with gold eyes, staring right thru his soul, like you already know everything there is to know about him, (like the way Kaeya looked at him that night),
like he doesnt even have to introduce himself
and he doesnt, u just lightly smack Razorâs hands until he gets rid of his claymore w/a pout, since Diluc had long since dropped his,
and grab a plate, piling on what leftovers u could, and turn back around from the coffee table to smile at him, patting the cushion-seat beside u for him to join
The giant glowing wolf licks his lips and watches him, the wolf-kidâs creepily watches him, and you, with eyes gold in teh light of a simmering bonfire just past the table, watch him
he just sits down and begins to eat.
its the best food heâs ever had, its his dadâs favorite dish, but not realistically, but the way memory embellishes a dish so much it can never be tasted again, except its right here. in front of him. u pour some wolfhook juice for him, and offer him a napkin to wipe his mouth and eyes
Diluc visits often after that, obviously.
u give him snacks too, and when he lets the staff try some, Adeline will not stop harassing him abt gettin ur recipes/ingredeints so u get him to pay Fischl to get a copy of their recipe book :)
including blank pages for future entries, and Fischl is literally glowing with happiness, would not stop monologuing abt ur food for weeks (send help Oz wants some peace and quiet sometimes)
Oh Diluc absolutely told the Favonius knights he found you. But heâs not saying where LMAO
Jean is actually begging him, Diluc ik u hate the knights but this is an international investigation-
this is the closest Diluc has ever gotten to getting under Ventiâs skin.
when he told him this at Angelâs while bartending, he just casually ofc said this, just his smug little smirk, and the anemo god cracked a glass and everything- esp when he said he tried ur cooking??
he's gotta start looking over his shoulder in the city bc not only is Venti stalking him, the entirety of Mondstadtâs citizens are glaring at him in envy everywhere he goes LMAOO
(Venti now has a bar glass or too on his tab to pay off as well)
mans is literally paying u in weapon/artifact materials/mora to make him lunch one day and Venti nearly lunges over the counter
(Diluc purposefully ate it in front of him đ)
ur food is the ultimate, âu could make a religion out of this!â /ref
like Diluc fully gives u offerings of ingredients he can pay for shipping from other countries + along with regular materials after grinding in domains
does the rest of Mondstadt + the world find out where u are?
only if Diluc lets them tbh. LMFAO
â
bk trashfire my beloved <3 love ur ideas and stuff, goes without even saying im so sorry i took actually forever to respond :â(
hope u have a great weekend and i did this little side story justice for you
Safe Travels BK Trashfire,
đâ
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