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Wow. Reviewing my entries. My fav was, “God said no.” Favoring hope over doubt. Rediscovering trust in my abilities. Uncovering creativity. I ran screaming. My silence said more than I could.

But the best part was he brushed his teeth.

I'm positioning myself as an indispensable ally.

I'm taking a break from things that don't matter.

God answered. He said no.

I put myself out there again. I gave it more thought and consideration, but with my history, I’m feeling less confident. I put it all in God’s hands.

Kinda seems like everyone has moved on but me.

Never mind my own sorrow. Never mind what I’m going through. There is always someone close to me who is in more agony than me.

Yes, I'm in mourning. Yes, it's affecting me more than I knew. No, I'm not thinking clearly. Yes, I have regrets. No, I don't know when I'll be better. No, I'll never be the same person I was. Yes, I'm cynical, apprehensive, and cautious.

It was almost inevitable. In a strange way I couldn't wait for it to happen. Maybe now others will see. I'm hanging tough. I've got everything to lose and everything to gain. Am I being vague enough? Even in this medium, I feel the need to be vague. People know me. People like me. Outwit. Outlast. Outplay. I totally want a van.

It would be so easy to curl up in the hole and stay there with nothing but sorrow and memories. I need to make new memories.

It wasn't just Jane A, and its not Jane B nor Jane C. My new strategy is to outwit, outlast, and outplay.

I kept doing what I do. Not knowing others were watching, taking notice. I just do what I do. Keep on trucking. Like she told me, keep on trucking. BTW, thanx.

I tried it. I tried what I said I would. I held on until something better posted. There were two. Neither were meant to be. Have I yet realized that people like me?