bittersweet

such a great feeling when someone just genuinely wants to talk to you and wants to know how your life is going

It’s weird to grow up in a family where you know you’re loved but you don’t feel loved. And then later in adulthood you understand how almost impossible it seems to cross that distance and let yourself experience closeness, how otherworldly love feels now and how love feels unbearable at times. You flinch when someone tries to wholeheartedly love you. And over and over you see so clearly how you cannot be loved unless it's from afar and love is mixed with that familiar sensation of distance and coldness.

when Florence Welsh said "What a thing to admit that when someone looks at me with real love I don't like it very much / Kinda makes me feel like I'm being crushed"

Best thing i ever did was become more lowkey & focus on me

forgive yourself again and again and again and again and again

trying to

there's so much peace in allowing yourself to be misunderstood