BITING SPAGHETTI

“Need a better way to coat your walls in pig’s blood?”

“The Black Widow Pillow, made with 100% undetectable fibers so you’ll be rolling in the life insurance money in no time!”

“Go from your day job to your “night job” in an instant!”

"Tired of living next door to a vindictive Easter bunny?”

“Now you too can pray to the baby Jesus to turn you into Wolverine!”

"It’s Insta-Risky-Business! Simply put a bipolar child on a downward spiral into a shower and just add water. He’ll be taking those ol’ records off the shelf in no time.” 

"With Insta-Fart, simply pull your own finger to deter potential muggers”.

"The phone not only stays in it’s place, but so does the woman, who should be home barefoot and pregnant cooking her hard working husband a batch of his favorite whatever the f*%k that is. Order now!”

"Tired of your father’s outdated teaching methods on the ‘birds and the bees’?”

"Meet singles just like you at MichaelMyers.com”.

"Tired of your grass dying every time you paint it?”

"Do you find yourself wishing you had never rescued them from the corn?”

"Do you have a demanding and thankless family that you’d love nothing more than to take a $#!t in their food as payback? Well now you can!”

"Each figure comes with special powers like karate chop action, round-house kick, and falling flat on your face drunk after Batman’s holiday party.”

"And just like that, no pesky sacrificial lamb’s blood on your satanic alter!”

“Introducing the Ozzy Osborne practice bat!”

"Tired of gravity ruining your day at a completely deserted beach?”