18+ FanficLover

"Étudiants, n'oubliez pas que votre examen a lieu lundi prochain et qu'il vaut la moitié de votre note globale. Merci et bon week-end", Narcissa spoke as she adjusted her glasses which now neatly sat on the top of her head, as she smiled goodbye to the students leaving the room.

You were currently putting your notebooks away in your bag when you could feel yourself grow dizzy at the hearing of the exam and how it was worth half of your grade - you really needed to do this well in this exam, for French wasn't exactly your fortitude, and it was clear of that after you had received your grade back for your previous assignment. The last thing you wanted was to fail this class.

You could feel the room spin around you and the sounds turn into slush as you narrowed your eyes in concentration in an attempt to find the energy to make a move out of the room. You hoped that no one would have noticed your current state but alas someone did - your professor.

Now Narcissa was not like the other professors you had - for she was kind and nice, and made it clear from the beginning of your time together that she genuinely cared about each and everyone of her students - including yourself. So as the woman glanced up at you, she assumed you had wanted to stay behind to chat - as you and the blonde woman occasionally did from time to time.

"Y/N... are you alright?", Narcissa asked not fully paying attention to you, as she was busy sorting through the papers for her next class after lunch. But you weren't listening to a word she said, as you kept repeating the same phrase over and over again, "I’m fine.  I'm just being silly. I'm fine", until your mind believed it enough to allow your body to listen and thus calm down, before anyone else could find out. The last thing you wanted was anyone to find out about your anxiety - you couldn't help but feel embarrassed at the notion of someone, even someone you trusted, to find out about your messy situation.

"Y/N?", Narcissa repeatedly asked looking up at you this time, when you didn't respond. Walking away from where she stood behind her desk, the woman walked up to you before sitting slightly on the desk in front of you, before hesitatingly placing a hand on your arm to try and ease you back to reality.

Expectingly, Narcissa moved her hand away when you jumped at her touch. "Oh I-I'm sorry Professor, 'm just gonna go now...", you whispered as you tried to move away only to be stopped by Narcissa who was not willing to let go of you in your current state - Narcissa herself had experienced a few anxiety attacks here and there, and couldn't help but noticed how you tensed at the mention of the exam at the end of the class.

"Y/N... stay here for a bit, talk to me. What's wrong?", Narcissa asked as she looked at you noticing that your eyes were growing wider as you faded out to a peaceful state of mind, where you couldn't hear anything or anyone around you. The lack of oxygen your brain was refusing your body to receive was causing you to feel lightheaded before looking around you in silence as you tried to remember that you were still yet in a very stressful situation.

Looking up at the blonde woman, who now was trying to keep her own fear at bay as she gently squeezed your arm to remind her that you were still here, you gasped as you could feel your lungs collapse from the lack of air circulating within them. It was almost as if you were breathing through a broken straw - every time you could feel new, fresh air enter your lungs, it was snatched away from you leaving you breathless once more. This horrible cycle made you claw at your chest, wishing you could just stretch your lungs open even for a morsel of fresh air. You couldn't help but feel as if you were about to pass out any second as your vision began to become clouded with small black spots appearing everywhere you looked causing you to shake in your seat.

Narcissa got off the table before kneeling down next to you, not caring if it was improper or whatever as she grabbed ahold of your head in her hands ever so gently causing you to face her. "Y/N, come on, I need you to talk to me, okay? Y/N, please, tell me what’s wrong", Narcissa spoke clearly, however to you it came out as a mumble instead.

You reached out for the woman wit one hand and grabbed onto her arm, holding on tightly, more tightly than Narcissa had expected. However she didn't seem to care about that at the moment, as her main priority at the moment was yourself and getting you to a safe mindset again. You couldn't help but release a whimper, as you began to get scared over the fact that it was still challenging for you to take a deep breath. Her worried eyes fixated on you, looking at you with sympathy causing you to realise that this time unlike the others you weren't alone. "Stay with me, Y/N. I’m here for you. You're not alone.", she reminded you as she tried her very best to comfort you.

"Y/N, can you take a deep breath for me?", Narcissa asked as she tried to keep you as engaged to reality as she could. In response to her question, you attempted with all your might, and best effort to take a deep breath, only to cry out, before grabbing your side as soon as you felt a sharp pain wave through your body, almost like you had just been pinched in your lung by something incredibly sharp. You violently shook your head rapidly, as you could feel your breathing becoming even more shallow than it had been before.

"Does your arm hurt?", Narcissa asked to which you shook your head.  "Does anything but your chest hurt?", she asked feeling slightly relieved that you could hear her and were responsive. Once more, you shook your head. Narcissa could feel herself calming down as she realised that you were indeed having a panic attack. "Y/N, I need you to listen to me okay? You're having a panic attack - do you know what that means?" This time you nodded in response to her question as you gasped out a quiet "yes" before, leaning back as you could feel yourself growing even more dizzy from all the hyperventilating, feeling frightened when you realised you were still having a really hard time breathing. Narcissa held your hand in her own tightly, as she caressed your knuckles with her thumb, while murmuring words of comfort to you softly, smiling when she noticed the tears in your eyes dry and your chest no longer heavily heaving.

"You've got this, Y/N. You can do this", She said.  "I’m here for you.   You’re doing so well, ma chérie. I'm so proud of you."

After several more minutes, you finally felt relief as the tightness in your chest as well as tension that currently overtook your body began to loosen, allowing you to feel oxygen flow through you once more, as you could feel your dizziness fade away as well as your eyes remain open rather than insisting on being shut. You were just so grateful that you were now able to slow you breathing down to a steady pace only to express a shy smile when you noticed Narcissa look at you with pride in her eyes for you being able to take control of a very difficult situation, as she gently squeezed your arm three times in a simple non-verbal way of saying "I'm here for you."

"Do you want to talk about it?", Narcissa asked fully prepared if your answer was "no" as she only had your best interests at heart and had no intention of pushing you out of your comfort zone.

"It was just about the exam. I haven't been doing as well as I would have liked to in this class", you mumbled feeling ashamed of the reasoning behind your little outburst. Narcissa only hummed in response as she listened to you, looking at you sympathetically as she knew that you had been having a rough time with the language - you were one of her favourite students and she loved seeing you smile whenever you got a question right or did really good on a test.

"Thank you, Professor", you murmured feeling a wave of embarrassment overtake you as you realised what had just happened. "I’m really sorry."

"Y/N, no," she said, moving back up to sit on the desk, ensuring that she didn't let go of your hand the entire time. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Y/N. Having a panic attack is nothing for you to apologise for, please don't feel like that."

You couldn't help but chuckle. "That is true. Thank you for helping me. I don't usually get them during school and when I do, I usually do a much better job at hiding it-"

"-Y/N. A panic attack is nothing to be ashamed of. Is that understood? I don't ever want you to hide this sort of thing again. Okay?", Narcissa asked as she moved her hands up towards your face to cup your face in her hands, before moving them away once she realised what she had done.

You couldn't help but frown slightly when she moved her hands away. "I understand. My therapist says the same thing... it's a process. Somedays are better than others...", you mumbled.

Knowing that Narcissa had probably overstepped professional boundaries, what from all the hand holding, she didn't hesitate this time as she reached out to you before embracing you in a warm hug, causing you to smile as you felt yourself become overwhelmed from her scent - a good feeling of overwhelmed this time, a safe one.  After holding you tightly for several long seconds, she pulled back and smiled at you causing you to smile back no longer feeling ashamed and embarrassed. "Are you sure you're okay now?", the woman asked ready to stay with you even longer if you were still out of sorts.

"I’m fine. Thank you", you smiled. "I'll see you on Monday?", you asked.

"Actually, Y/N. I'm here after school for a couple of hours, if you wish to come by to talk or even work on some questions..."

"I would love that, thank you Professor", you smiled, as the blonde gently squeezed your shoulder smiling at your answer.

As your final class of the day finished, you walked on over towards Narcissa's classroom as the pair of you spent a good hour and a half working through the possible questions that could appear in the upcoming exam. Once it was time for the pair of you to head home, you left the room feeling so much more better prepared for the exam on Monday.

Narcissa simply placed a hand on your shoulder once more as the two of you said goodbye, before she returned to her desk to pack away her things when she found a note sitting on top of her books that was not sitting there before.

Opening the note, the woman couldn't help but smile as she instantly recognised the familiar looking handwriting feeling not only proud of you, but also of herself for helping you get through a difficult challenge.