no thanks

recently i went to a new doctor because of my concerning new symptoms (dizziness, constant fatigue, legs and arms falling asleep after like a minute of being in weird positions and losing muscular control) and bloodwork was done (all normal) and no questions were asked abt my lifestyle or diet. then a week later i get a phone call from the doctors assistant or something bc the doctor relayed a message to tell me that im fat essentially. i hate going to doctors and being perceived as a woman.

my biggest pet peeves as someone who loves makeup and skincare are 1. no pale people shades that match me in the majority of drugstore brands (i usually have to wait for a shade extension to find anything remotely close to my shade) 2. niacinamide in Fucking Everything for no goddamn reason like 90% of the time i start breaking out for no reason i check the ingredients and its niacinamide again at the bottom of the list and 3. brands using the wrong words to describe their products like dont say its a lip oil if its just a hydrating lip gloss

i love my parents but they deeply irritate me. we were talking abt the pitt and i brought up how dr robby is misogynistic and both of them started arguing with me and my mom brought up how robby was mean to langdon as a defense of him. i had to emphasize that being mean to a man does not autonomically free you of ingrained misogyny. the phrase im also right but thats irrelevant here also came out of my mouth at one point and my dad apologized to my mom again because i act so much like him.

i love messing with my dad we were talking abt tmnt at dinner and i asked who his favorite was (rafael) and what his role was and he said angry and off the cuff i said ‘im sure that means nothing abt you as a person’ and my mom dropped her pizza when she snorted

im committing so many ethics violations but they are all against myself

i love being queer my mom told me abt “the noah kahan documentary thats coming out” i responded with “hes gay?”

sometimes i just randomly remember the psychiatrist/psychologist (idk these terms) who refused to diagnose me with anorexia even though she herself said i fit all the diagnostic criteria because “i had too many labels” and just question why she went into mental health

little kids are awesome because they have so much joy for what is an everyday experience for me however they also try my patience, but that is mostly the fault of whoever (this is a lie i know who) decided that i should teach 3 year olds to play chess. it goes about as well as you would expect.