my notes for our final week :) <3
hello and goodbye! the fact that it’s already the last week of the reread is shocking to me i’ve had so much fun doing this! let’s jump in one last time :p
this week we read the final interlude and the epilogue, the first of which is mike’s final ‘entry’ into his history of derry/personal diary, the latter being bill and audra’s bike ride through downtown derry.
i’ve said multiple times that i love the interludes and this one is the perfect way to end those sections to me. mike’s own feelings and memory loss as the other losers leave town is so intense, since he feels both relief and fear at the way he’s unable to remember the contents of his own life.
love this last conversation he has with richie, where they both understand that they’ve succeeded, even at great cost, and actually want to forget more than they want to live with this knowledge. bill expresses a similar sentiment, and ben and bev make promises they know they can’t keep because they’re all aware of their loss.
this section serves as an ending for the majority of the characters; it’s the last time they’re mentioned in the book, and i really like a lot of what they have planned for their vague future, with the exception of richie. ben and bev are leaving together, visiting both nebraska and new york to tie up lose ends, and their relationship has a possibility of becoming romantic, which i really like for both characters. mike’s work is finally done, and he has no need to be the watchman, and he plans to pursue some different sort of life (insomnia readers will know he remains a librarian in derry, much loved by the community!). richie feels a little left out, simply flying back to california, while bill and audra remain in derry due to audra still being catatonic.
i personally really enjoy the fact that they all get to forget this strange part of their lives. they’ve changed but they’re no longer haunted, and they can exist with a sense of mysterious relief, essentially free from their traumatic childhoods. in a sense the connection of time between their simultaneous relived childhood and adulthood has been severed, they’re unchained by loss and horror that affected them for the majority of their lives, and i think they deserve that. even their scars fade; all they have left of derry are dreams half forgotten by the time they wake up.
in the epilogue, bill hatches a plan to bring audra out of her catatonic state: one more epic ride across derry on his trusted silver bike. interspaced between this last flight is bill’s own dreams of derry later in life:
truly it speaks for itself. and:
this last section is so important to me, it’s the absolute statement of the whole book. the reoccurrence of the word desire, so important to this novel from it’s start in chapter one with beverly’s shock at her own ability to finally feel it to now, the final reach for desire with bill’s insane but heartfelt attempt at bringing his wife back to consciousness. his race down Up Mile Hill works, and audra wakes up terrified and overjoyed.
they love each other, they desire each other, they continue to reach for each other, and what else counts?
the majority of the story focuses on the need to bring back a vital part of childhood, the powerful belief of the young, so i love that bill’s final reflection is about the essential balance between the child and the adult, and the necessity of being able to look back and know childhood was a mystery, whether you fully remember it or not.
ultimately this last epilogue is the epitome of all the reasons why i find this story so compelling and powerful; for all the horror, all the death and terror, there’s so much to love in life if you just reach for it. it’s a really simple but solid message, especially applying it to people whose childhoods were extremely disturbing and destructive. life goes on if you let it, if you have the desire to make it happen <3
