crooked young

aries: getting fired for screaming at his boss for eating his sandwich

taurus: getting stuck in a pair of his own leather pants

gemini: saying the wrong name at the altar

cancer: faking a british accent for his first day as a professor then trying to phase it out thinking that nobody would notice

leo: being the only person to raise his hand when phoebe asked an entire party if anyone liked ross

virgo: getting his couch stuck halfway up the stairs of his apartment building, cutting it in half to extract it, then expecting a refund

libra: flirting with the pizza delivery girl by telling her that he happens to like 8 year old boys

scorpio: leaving teeth whitening strips on his teeth for a whole day and scaring his date by glowing in the dark

sagittarius: his fake tan

capricorn: trying to kiss his cousin then defending himself by saying that he hadn't had sex in a really long time

aquarius: holding a fake memorial service for himself and listening through the door as people were mourning