Iâm having Big Dick Ilya thoughts againâŚIlyaâs dick being big enough that itâs actually low key intimidating for his sexual partners. Like jaws are dropping when he whips it out. One night stands are noping out when they make it back to his place and they see him fully hard. People are struggling to get even a third of the length into their mouths when blowing him. Ilya gets used to having to gently coach his partners through penetrative sex (âdonât worry it will fitâ) because itâs scary, even to those who are experienced at such things. He learns to control himself very carefully, holding back, gets used to generally having sex where at most like only half of his dick is getting stimulation unless heâs getting a hand around himself.
And itâs like, fine. Truly, it is. And hey, penetration isnât everything, he doesnât mind a helping hand instead, or even getting himself off after heâs used his hands or his mouth on his partner(s). He gets off on giving other people pleasure too, so itâs not like itâs completely unsatisfying for him. All of this stuff is part of being a good Top, Ilya likes putting people at ease and he genuinely understands that his dick is Just That Bigâ˘ď¸ that heâs never gonna have sex where he doesnât think about these things. It probably makes him a better lover, because he has to think about logistics more than a more average sized penis haver has to.
And of course, his big dick definitely doesnât start to become a metaphor for how he thinks of himself or anything. That would be crazy. Itâs just that, you know, itâs this thing that he canât change, that on the surface seems exciting and enticing to people, something to brag about in locker rooms, this symbol of ultimate masculinity that makes every man around him seethe in jealousy and draws people to his bed with whispers of his pornstar proportions. This thing that, in private, well itâs just another thing thatâs Too Muchâ˘ď¸ about Ilya. Heâs too greedy, heâs too selfish, heâs too needy, and to top it all off his cock is too big too. No one can handle all of him, not even in a purely physical relationship where heâs suppressing all his emotional needs. And he tells himself (in a voice thatâs suspiciously not his own) âyou expect too much Ilyusha, always wanting more, arenât you? Never satisfied by what others can give you.â and tries to content himself with the fact he always have to hold himself back.
And then enters Shane âbottom of all timeâ Hollander. Who can take him all. Who tries his best to choke him down from their very first hook up, who wonât give up until he can deepthroat him with ease, who comes hands free his first time on Ilyaâs cock, who pushes himself back to take more, more, more, who tries out other dicks and yet always dreams of taking only Ilyaâs, Ilyaâs, IlyaâsâŚ
Shane Hollander who sees the mask that Ilya presents to the world and decides that no, that isnât enough, actually, he wants to see behind it to the real man underneath. Who sees behind and says, I love you, I choose you, you are never too much for me, I love taking all of you inside of me.
Recentering this actually, but from Shaneâs point of view.
Yes your dick is big, yes itâs intimidating, yes itâs challenging to take, but I like my body being challenged by you. Yes you can be difficult and prickly and an asshole, yes you can be Too Much to others, but not to me, not if itâs you. I like that you can be difficult to love, because it means I can prove myself worthy by loving you anyway.
