delicate;

Yeah? Changing it to what? I’ve been helping Jaci Mae look at colleges a little bit. It’s…stressful. 

Jaci has nothing to be stressed about. She is going to do so great and fit in so well. I think she’ll really.... bloom in college. 

Hey you! Why don’t you change it to hospitality and come manage the Speakeasy with me? 

Everyone knows that a hospitality degree is just what girls do when all they want is to get engaged and pregnant. Everyone calls it the Mrs. degree. 

There’s no shame in that! It’s hard figuring out what you wanna do. What’re you thinking of changing it to?

I thought I wanted to go into creative writing, but now I’m sorta thinking about creative technologies but also I really enjoyed my psychology class this semester.... So what I’m getting at is that I really don’t know...

B-B-Birdie! It’s so n-n-nice to see you. Change it to what?

Theo!! I didn’t know you were home. Noel said you were at the studio.

“Have you seen me dance? You don’t want me to be in your TikTok, Reb, trust me,” Cal smirked, hanging out with Rebel as they lingered by the front door. Cal was propped up on the front staircase, sitting back as he waited for Zodi to come downstairs. Back in Plumfeld, they didn’t learn much in terms of ecosystems or biology, but because Cal was such a plant nerd, he was sure he could help Zodi with his outrageous homework. But before his younger brother came down from his bedroom, Cal was met with a surprise. The type of surprise that takes your breath away. Like when someone calls out your name because you’ve won a very special prize or when you weren’t anticipating having to give a speech, and then you do anyways. He was very thankful Rebel was there to talk first. “…Hey…” Cal met Birdie’s eyes and instinctively stood up, trying to fix his hair and un-wrinkle his black t-shirt, “You look great. Really great.” 

I could leave this town. I could give Chandler to Casey and Stone, pack up my car, and drive far, far away. Mr. Morris, you know the old man with the handlebar mustache from the bookstore? He would miss me. You would, at least that’s what you’re telling me, maybe Nora would too, and Chandler just for a couple days until he played with his siblings and enough fun toys to forget about me. All I’m saying is…I’m extremely un-rememberable, and it’s wearing on me.

“Birdie…” Cal’s voice was barely over a whisper as he spoke to her. The corners of his mouth folded up into a weak smile as she joked about his sisters and how he wasn’t very good with girls. It was true. For as handsome and burly as Cal was, he was pretty horrible in the talking about his feelings and seduction department. Still, the feelings he had for Birdie were undeniable. As she sat there in the hospital bed, an IV sticking half in and half out of the top of her hand, Cal wished that day would’ve gone so differently. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he snapped back into his reality - knowing it was probably Maisie checking in on the situation and asking if he’d still be over for dinner later. She was making one of her mother’s homemade recipes for him and she was so excited. “I…” As Birdie spoke, Cal wasn’t sure what to say, so he gently picked up her hand and softly kissed it, “…I don’t know, Birdie. I’m sorry.” 

I…I think I could go away and no one would miss me. 

Somewhere quiet and far. Living in New York and then coming here…it’s just loud a lot. It’s easy to get caught up in messes or get forgotten. I think I’d like to move out East. Maybe…South Carolina or something. .

Part One

Birdie’s favorite part about going to college in Malibu was the beach. It was beautiful. New yet familiar. It was the same ocean that touched down in Brooksville, and that helped her feel more connected. As if she could just look North and see home. 

She was beyond grateful to leave Brooksville when she did. Just a month earlier she had been hit by a car after a heated debate with Cal in the middle of town. Granted, things could’ve been a lot worse than just a concussion, a broken nose, and a few bumps and bruises. When she did return home, everyone treated her with kid gloves, almost as if she had tried to kill herself. She hadn’t, of course, but they didn’t know that. And Cal’s worried face whenever they saw each other sure didn’t help that storyline. 

Birdie was so ready to get out of Brooksville when she did, they were nearly at Thanksgiving and she was the only foster who hadn’t returned for a visit. She figured she would for Thanksgiving, as campus would be closed, and she’d make an awkward appearance at dinner and beg Milania and Travis to let her stay with them for the remaining days. 

Though she didn’t want to be in Brooksville, she still did feel a longing for her home. She did dip her toes into the ocean and think that maybe just a few states away, Cal was doing the same thing. It was certainly comforting in that regard. That was the kind of girl Birdie was. 

In all actuality, Birdie had changed a lot since starting college. She originally predicted that she’d be coming home any chance she could, staying in on the weekends to read and catch up on school work, and spending the week dancing or performing in some fashion. But that’s not what happened at all. 

Birdie stepped foot onto Pepperdine’s campus with Nora and Alice, who were so kind to help her move in, and things shifted. She switched her major from English to Physics--a big jump for just about anyone. She took her intro to physics class and within three weeks, she was hooked. She was acing the class, getting 100s on papers and tests. She was asked to be a notetaker for someone else in class, and she ended up loving it more than she had imagined. 

Second, Birdie had completely stopped dancing. Well... not completely, but she wasn’t training any more. She would dance every now and again, but she was less worried about getting better and more worried about her other extracurriculars, like Student Government. That year she ran for a seat on SGA and was inducted as Freshman Class Representative... it was sorta like Freshman Class President but without the all of the responsibility. She still had a say, she still had things to do, but she wasn’t overloaded by all of the SGA responsibilities and decision making. 

Third, Birdie started going to parties. Despite being a Christian college, Birdie had been invited to plenty of parties and joined a sorority.... which opened up even more doors for parties. She was meeting people, going on dates, staying up late, sharing secrets, and making memories.