nicholas

They all open their mouth to explain, before backing down, seeming uncomfortable about talking to you. “Okay-“ you started, “You’re the creator of teyvat, your grace! And we came to take you home.” You could feel glares right on top of the other directed to the anemo archon who rubbed his cheek into your upper arm, looking at you. he was so mesmerized by you that he wasn’t bothered.

If looks could kill, he’d definitely be dead. “The creator?…” you spoke, your voice had a tone of confusion and curiosity. “Yes! You were brought here when you perished from protecting teyvat from some force, and we’re here to bring you back to the world you truly belong in!” Venti was digging an even deeper hole for himself, Zhongli sighed, making a mental note to punch him through a few mountains when they return.

“Uhm..yeah, no. Maybe you got the wrong person? I swear I never made Teyvat- more like it was made for me but-“ You were shushed by Ei. “well, you..you died in a war far before any nation was created, as a last resort to keep you safe, you were reincarnated to this world..” Ei explained. Zhongli nodded, agreeing with Ei’s words.

You sat looking at her with a dumbfounded expression, you absolutely cannot believe what she’s saying. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you? okay, very funny, that’s it-“ you stood up, Venti falling forward to your seat as you swiftly took your hand from his grasp, your upper arm was warm from him rubbing his face into it. He almost whined, holding his cheek who collided with the seat you used to sit in.

“We’re telling the truth, your grace! If we weren’t, why else would we be here?” Albedo spoke up, also standing from his seat, you looked at him with uncertainty, a silence slowly washing over you. Your eyes dart from each of the characters, Zhongli looked uncomfortable, staring at the cup of water you had handed to them. Ei was busy eyeing your cat, who had jumped on top of the table, curious to what’s happening.

Aether tightened his fists, also uncomfortable at the situation, Venti no longer looked at you, rubbing his cheek with his hand. A sigh left your lips, “look, I’m not this creator person you think I am,” you see them visibly deflate. “But I’m also not a cruel person, I won’t leave you guys out in the streets, if you guys really do come from gens- teyvat, then I’ll house you until you guys return, but only until then.” You pointed your finger at them, as if a parent scolding their child after eating sweets before their bedtime.

you silently hoped it won’t be long until they returned back.

It seems as that any god out there has not heard your prayers and pleas because you have crossed, the two-hundredth-twelveth (212) day, or for short, exactly seven (7) months, on your calendar of how long five (5) of the most important characters have been living in your home.

Zhongli no longer wore his long coat, you remember after a week of them staying with you, you had gone to get them clothes, Zhongli now wears white shirts and sweatpants, in which he still does not understand why they’re called sweatpants when you don’t “sweat” in them.

You may have caught yourself looking at him once or twice, the shirts you got him basically defines his abs. You remember not being able to look at Zhongli for at least three (3) days straight, because when you did, you’d be facing his pecs.

You are thankful for Zhongli though, he helps around with cooking and cleaning, sometimes you can feel his chest against your back when you’re cooking breakfast. Or when your cleaning when he carries you on his shoulders as you clean the highest shelves in your house.

Venti is also a bit of a problem to handle, because he’s been snooping in your closet while you work. How many times have you seen him wear your clothes? He particularly loves the skirts, you had some female friends leave them behind when they’d come sleep over for and skirts weren’t your style, he thankfully took them off your hands! he loves the way they twirl and they’re easy to just put on than shorts. Of course, you had no problems until Venti found…your underwear drawer. Ah, the face you made when he pulled out your underwear and asked what it was..you beat the shit out of him the same day.

Although he does cause problems, he’s the perfect person to go to when you’re under the weather. he either hums or sings you to sleep, persuading you to take a nap, he’s disheartened at the fact of how tired you are, he beats himself up on how he hates that he doesn’t know anything about your world, so you do the work for them, as you always have when they were still stuck in your game.

Ei, well, she wears anything! She prefers oversized shirts though, you had bought her, her own oversized shirts, some styles you’d think she’d enjoy, Ei loved it and always rambles and chirps about how she’s never wore anything so comfortable! Ei’s not a very chatty person, and sometimes she can feel how awkward it is when you sit beside her, enjoying tea you brewed for both of you. She’s embarrassed that she does not know what to say and ends up showing her gratitude and her want to communicate through actions.

She links her pinky with yours as you doze off, too tired to notice that she was basically holding hands with you. She paws at your shirt whenever she sees sweets being sold on the street whenever you guys go to the grocery because she’s shy to ask you to buy her some sweets. If someone told you years ago this is how the Raiden Shogun acts around her loved ones, you would’ve never believed it, behind her tough facade, lays a gentle bunny, just wanting affection from people she loves most.

Aether wore whatever you gave him, if you gave him a clown costume, he probably would’ve worn it. Aether doesn’t care about whatever you give him, he cares about you, your safety and happiness. He swore to that ever since he became your very first vessel. He helps with little things like, taking care of Marsh, who seems to love him as much as the cat loved you, or maybe carrying many bags of grocery to bring inside the house.

He doesn’t care much for what you give to him, or what you say to him, he’s there for you, and your happiness. He strives to keep that smile on your face. You can’t help but smile whenever you come home to Aether sleeping on the couch waiting for you with your cat curled up by his stomach, if you were to be honest, he looked like a boyfriend waiting for their darling partner to come home and so they could greet them but ended up sleeping, waiting. You felt grateful that he decides to wait for you. You showed your gratitude with a kiss on his forehead.

Albedo felt very outcast from this. You bonded with the rest of the characters so easily, but yet he, he doesn’t know what to say. He has a hard time understand human emotions, and he doesn’t know how to show them. He watches you pet Venti’s head out of affection, and his blood boils. He wants head pats too. Albedo wanted to talk to you about his experiments, his discoveries and alchemy, or maybe just drawing, art in usual. He was afraid that you wouldn’t like him and what he did, even though he pursued what he lived and breathed doing in teyvat just for you, he believed that was your path for him.

He never really expected a conversation, maybe a small “good morning Albedo, how are you?” But never a conversation, not like how you and Zhongli talk about history, or you teaching Venti about how music works in your world, or maybe Ei who you keep feeding sweets to, Aether, when both of you baby your cat and give him smooches. He kept expecting and expecting until you, watched him draw.

He finished a drawing that was done a few days ago, it was you, sitting by a window, reading your favourite book. You had approached him and sat beside him, leaning in a bit, he was a little shocked, you could tell from the way his grip fell from one of the pencils you brought him a week prior. “Just wanted to see what you’re drawing albe.” You smiled at him, he felt a small warmth grow in his chest, as he tried to continue drawing.

That’s only some of the stuff that’s happened during their stay at your home. In all honesty, you were slowly growing attached, you loved how every time you came home from work, you’d see aether sleeping on the couch with your cat, Zhongli greeting you from the kitchen, Ei watching him cook, and Venti who was strumming a ukulele you had kept in your storage.

You were slowly getting fond of them and used to them in your home, you know you shouldn’t be. They could poof anytime they want and you’ll have to get used to coming home to only your cat. You realize how lonely you lived your life. A sigh leaves your lips, slapping yourself on the cheek. “stop thinking like that, [name]. Don’t get attached. It’ll only hurt you.” You tell yourself. You don’t want to, but you have to.

“your grace, can we-“ Ei called out, reaching for you. “Ei, please we’re in public.” You pulled her to your side, looking at her hands which carried an item with a colourful packaging. Sweets, you assumed. “[name]…can we get this?” Ei corrected herself, showing you the object, she gave you puppy eyes, which you were sure she wasn’t even doing on purpose.

Both of you stared at each other in silence before you broke. A sigh left your lips as you put the item into your shopping cart. “That’s the last thing you’re getting for yourself, okay Ei?” You scolded her as she nodded, a small smile on her face.

Zhongli glanced from behind the both of you, his hands on the shopping cart, he was busy looking at snacks, that he deemed maybe healthy for you. You, Ei and Zhongli decided to spend the day going shopping, feeling too cooped up in the house. Ei clung to your arm as you guys strolled further into the snack isle, before a hand grabbed you unoccupied arm.

You stopped, looking at the man on which the hand was connected to, he was old, creepy and he smelt bad. “hey...” Your breath hitched, you stepped back, trying to free yourself from his grasp, Ei let go of your arm, pushing the creepy man away. “Don’t touch them.” Ei exclaimed, almost shielding you away. Her soft and flowery aura has now faded away, her hand in front of you to either keep him away or keep you away. It was obvious the man was drunk by the way he walked, wobbly and slurred.

“I’m not here for you..now out of the way..” The man tried to push her away, trying to get to you but being a shogun in teyvat means she’s not easily pushed around. “Ei-“ you watch the man try to push Ei around and start to slowly get violent, before you know it, you’re being dragged to the ground by the man.

It was a blur the next few seconds, the old man’s hand held your shirt in a death grip, you sat on the floor trying to get out of the drunkard’s grip, and another second, he was brought down, Zhongli toppled over him. “You stay the fuck away from them.” He growled, his fist raised as a threat as the man laid on the floor flabbergasted.

“Zhongli- no, no. Don’t.” You stood up quickly, your hand wrapping against his chest, pulling him off as security came to haul the drunk man away. Zhongli huffed, his fists still tight out of anger and annoyance. Your hand laid on his cheek, his gaze on the fading figure of the drunk man. “It’s okay, Zhongli. I’m okay.” You reassured him, his body subconsciously leaned into your palm, his hand slowly taking your wrist to keep you in place.

I imagined if Toji did consumate to his marriage, his sex life with his new bride is boring or non-existent. He didn't marry her for love and he didn't marry his side hoes. She's like a professional ally he keeps for commercial. She can't complain because she knows that the second she opens her mouth, he's willing to put his sign on the divorce paper.

I imagined that she has to mourn along with Toji and Megumi on mamaguro's death. She can't watch TV the whole day because the house needs to be as quiet as possible to pay respect. She even needs to sneak her way to the bedroom and watches her kdrama with earphones.

I imagined that there's a day where Toji's new bride will notice that he never initiates any skinship and when she confronts him, turns out he just doesn't want to have any kids with her. Because to him, mamaguro is the only mother for his kids.

I imagined Toji brings Megumi out for a picnic date but leaves his new wife at the house when she's still busy packing the lunch boxes. And when he does return to the home back, he only comes for the food and goes back to Megumi without bringing her along.

I imagined she has to explain to her friends that Toji is a Zenin, not a Fushiguro by birth because he used his wife's surname and her friends will question her on why he doesn't use hers since she's his wife too. But she doesn't answer because she doesn't dare to humiliate herself.

I imagined she comes to pick Megumi from school and his friends will ask her why she doesn't look like how Megumi drew on his weekly poster and she has to control herself before she bursts out crying in front of toddlers.

I imagined the Fushiguro house doesn't feel as warm as she first stepped in because she finally gives up. She doesn't bother to butter up a convo, she doesn't laugh off when Megumi tells her to leave him alone because she doesn't seek him anymore.

I imagined Toji comes home late, expecting the familiar figure who waits for him every day but the whole living room is dark and she is long asleep on her side of bed. Toji probably thinks that she's tired and moves along but he doesn't notice that he's making up excuses for her because the thought of her doing it intentionally is impossible.

I imagined the ride home when Toji picks up Megumi at his grandparents from the Fushiguro family is silent. His wife will play with her phone, scrolling through her social medias and she doesn't ask Megumi on how he spent his weekend anymore. She has stopped joking about how Megumi hates her parents too. She doesn't mention anything about bringing Megumi to her home.

I imagined Megumi walks to his class, but always looking back to the gate. Megumi thinks that his step-mother will put up a little fight to hold his hand and walks him to his class. But she only rolls down the window and nods. She doesn't do the silly 'kissy kissy' too. She doesn't even greet him 'good morning' today.

I imagined the cute face of Megumi's disappointed face when he unzips the lunch bag. He shakes the bag but there's nothing. Megumi thinks that she accidentally forgot to pack his food but when he calls her by the public phone, she explains that she doesn't do it anymore because Toji wants to teach him how to buy food at the canteen. But Toji doesn't say that.

I imagined Toji's new wife looks at the bouquet he brings home and wonders if he ever sees her as her own person but a shell he fills with his fantasy because that day isn't their anniversary and she doesn't like lilies. She hates flowers in truth.

I imagined Megumi will have a huge birthday party and both families will come visit, including the Fushiguros. While the Zenin members converse with mamaguro's parents with ease, Toji's parents-in-law are asked to sit in the kitchen, watching their step-grandson from far and wonder if there will be a time where they are able to spoil a 'grandchild' too.

I imagined Toji's wife watches how everyone alienate her parents and they are unwelcomed no matter what the event is. She will swallow her words, chokes on her tears before she calls a cab for her parents. Toji doesn't even notice that his father-in-law has been eyeing an opportunity to talk to him, wanting to ask about his daughter. But Toji's gentle words aren't aimed to him, but an older man of his past.

I imagined when the party's over, no one helps Megumi's new mother to handle the messy house. She is expected to clean the big house and she hasn't even eat the cake. No, they don't spare her a slice too. So when she picks up the paper plates with the left-over bits, she eats the sweet icing and realises, she isn't his wife nor a mother to his child.

I imagined the home she tried so hard to please becomes the place she hates, Toji can no longer see her sweet smile nor her flushed face. His little pretty wife has stopped trying and there's no warm diner by the time he got home. The lengthy texts he recieved everyday have reduced to none, she doesn't contact him anymore.

I imagined the whole family sit down for diner together in the dining table and only the clicking of chopsticks against the bowls echo. His wife doesn't talk about her stupid childhood comfort foods, she doesn't put dishes into his or his son's bowls either. She chews her food slowly, eyes cast on her food without muttering a word. The whole diner is silent.

He took a deep breath, felt a little tired of listening to the endless complains but the door suddenly creaked, a familiar figure stepped inside and the gloomy boy instantly brightened up.

She was dressed casually, just like how she did at home. She didn't put on make-up and she didn't look like she put a little mind to dressup.

Compared to the other parent in this room, she looked like she didn't want to be here but she had to. Megumi swallowed a little as he stood,

"Did dad send you?"

She shook her head, took a seat beside him and not long after her, came a teacher barged inside the meeting room. The teacher sent an exchange look between Megumi and his step-mother.

There wasn't any resemblance and the air between them... they didn't get along, his teacher thought.

The teacher cleared his throat before he said, "So I assume you're Megumi's mot-"

"Guardian. I'm his guardian."

Megumi looked at his lap, his tiny fist clenched at the distant voice beside him as the teacher continued to explain about what happened.

To avoid detention, he suggested for the two kids to reconcile and apologize but Megumi was hellbent in refusing rather than offering a fake 'sorry'.

So he got suspended for a week.

"Tch, next time you watch after your step-son properly. I know he's not your son but you have to act your part since you married his father. Don't think you're married only to your husband. You're married to his whole family. Well, maybe if his real mother was here, she'd do a better job than you."

The old lady continued her harsh talk, and Megumi watched how his step-mother bowed her head multiple times, muttering the words of 'I'm sorry,' 'I will do better', and 'Thank you for the advice."

He hated it. So he pulled her hand, taking her away from the old hag. He hated how she didn't defend herself so as soon as he entered the car, he couldn't help but shouted,

"Why are you so weak?! Why you let her walk over you like that? You didn't do anything wrong but why are you apologizing?! Why you didn't ask me why I punched him? Why are you like this?!!"

"Why do you think?" Her voice was so soft, as she always did.

His chest was heavy as he panted, eyes slightly widened at the ghostly appearance of his new mother. The sincere eyes always look kind but when he saw how empty her gaze was, the rage inside him left.

If this happened a year ago, he was sure that this car ride would be noisy - her lecture would go on for hours, genuinely concerned about his bad behavior but this wasn't the case.

His bloodied fingers were left unattended and the cold temperature inside the car made his chest hurt.

It hurt so much when someone walked out on you.

It hurt so much when he was in trouble because he was defending her stepmother, whom he swore to hate.

It hurt so much when he was expecting her to be more appreciative but all he received was her absent-minded presence.

It hurt so much that he couldn't stop crying.

Crying on how he took her sincere love for granted,

crying on how he knew that she used to sneak into his room at night, hugging his sleeping body as she showered his face with kisses before she said,

"Mommy loves Gumi dearest the most."

He wanted to go back to the times where she still loved him. The times where she nonetheless tried her best to fit into his family.

"Don't cry, Megumi. I'm finally letting you go."

She smiled, eyes glued in front of her as the busy road continued to flow with cars. Winter was coming and she didn't notice that her heart had long forgotten how warm spring was.

Toji did scold Megumi. Watching how Megumi was kneeling on the ground and Toji continued to ramble on how he wasn't supposed to get any red marks on his disciplinary records, how he had missed classes now that he was suspended.

But Toji felt like he wasted his energy over nothing because his son was so quite after school, as if he was over it already. Toji peeked into the kitchen and saw the busy figure of his wife as she was preparing the meals.

"Ha, get up. I'm sure I'm just repeating her words at this point. Now get rid of that look from your face and eat your lunch. I know you're not so quick to learn from your mistake so don't look like you're dying."

Toji said, sighing as he massaged his sore shoulder and sat down at the table. The portion seemed to increase a little so he asked his wife,

"What's with the foods? This is too much for 3 person."

She came forward, a faint smile on her face as she called Megumi to join lunch. Megumi dragged his feet as he looked at two seats; one beside Toji and another one were beside her. So he chose the later.

His spouse did look like she lost a little weight so Toji stared at her, demanding an answer as she replied, "Ah, I'm pregnant. 5 weeks already."

Clank. Clank.

Both Fushiguro immediately put down their chopsticks, the sounds were amusing to her but Toji didn't look too happy.

He wanted to be honest but considering that Megumi was there beside her, he saved his words to himself. He needed to have a talk with her later.

But she continued to smile, eyes watched the plentiful foods on the table when she didn't feel the slightest hungry. Everyone at the table had their mind and when the lunch ended, she was the last one to get up.

Megumi felt like the reason why she became detached is because she was going to have her own kid while Toji was thinking of proper ways to make her understand that there would always be only one woman who carried his child.

The dining room emptied once again, leaving a pitiful figure of a woman. At first, she was still stirring her rice, scooping a spoon of rice as she chewed slowly with a smile but after a while,

she bowed her head in agony - crying to her bowl of rice. The variety of foods around her bowl were untouched, she pitied her baby.

Her baby must have been so hungry but their mother just couldn't chew well when she was too busy muffling her sobs.

With a hand rested on the belly, a pretty gold ring wrapped around her finger but her husband didn't even spare a look to her way.

She imagined of a scenario where when she first married; her husband would be happy that there was a living proof of their love - and her first son, Megumi, would be delighted that he had a new friend to spend his days with inside

Yet, after 4th year of marriage - after years of longing to have a child on her own, her husband was going to tell her that he still couldn't move on from his beloved sweetheart.

"M' sorry, baby. So sorry that you just had to have me as your mommy. Mommy wishes when you go to heaven, please pray that you will be born in a family that wants you, will love you. Mommy so sorry that you just have to be mommy's sweet child. Mommy is so sorry but mommy really wants to see you. Mommy can never meet you in heaven because bad mommy goes to hell."

She whispered, heart broke to pieces that she didn't dare to pick up. Because if she did collect her heart, only death could bring her peace.

Toji was pacing back and forth, his wife was taking a little bit of time to clean the kitchen he thought. Just when he was about to exit, she came in and closed the door softly.

"How long have you known about this?"

She sat on the bed, her gaze plastered on her husband's handsome face. As someone who always dismissed her, he was actually willing to listen this time. Maybe because this talk actually hold weight, unlike the small talks she initiated before.

His eyes were deep and dark, if she was being careless, she might forgive him for his absence all this time. Because that was just how much she loved him so.

"2 weeks ago."

"And you only tell me now? How long are you gonna wait? Until your stomach gets so big that anyone would know you're pregnant? Is that so?"

She couldn't answer. She couldn't answer when he looked like he really wanted to throw her out of the window. Or should her? Should her just jump off the balcony? Drag her child with her to the grave because she didn't want to be apart?

"Let me be a mother a little longer, Fushiguro-san."

Toji was already fuming, adding now with her 'Fushiguro' bullshit, he really wanted to knock some sense on her small head. He thought they were over this shit.

Over this shit where she still wanted his love when he didn't plan to give.

"So how long?"He rubbed his temple, his headache had been coming back periodically.

Her mouth gaped a little, no matter how much she prepared herself, she still had a little hope inside her that her husband, may or may not spare a little mercy to her. She was still hoping for him to not ask her something like this.

She was still desperately clinging to whatever delusions she created inside her head, for her husband to agree to keep her baby.

I know this already. I know that he's just so this type of person. But why do I can't stop these tears? Why am I collapsing on the floor and he continues to look at me like that? Why is he crossing his arms instead of picking me up? Why is he clicking his tongue at me?

Why,why,why,why

do I lack so much self-respect?

Why,why,why,why

do I want his validation so much that I'm willing to stoop this low.

"2 months." She whispered, too tired to wipe her running tears. "Just give me 2 months to experience this. After that, I will get it done.”

He was still scowling, he felt like it was ridiculous to hang on to it any longer because it would be harder later. But he was sick of her tears so he agreed.

"I’ll go to the weekly appointment with my gyno, I will even go to a parenting class. I want to do the most I could do within this short period. So please,"

She stared at him blankly with the light in her eyes disappeared, she said,

"Don't ever bring this up until I mention it by myself."

Toji's broad back was the last thing she saw before he left the room. He thought to himself that it was better to marry a woman who was after his money rather than this kind of woman.

As he was doing his work, he pulled the drawer of his study, and there was a dusty frame - old and untouched for a while. The couple in the photo was an awkward pair.

It was his second wedding.

He hated how his new parents-in-law were from the outskirt, seeming too friendly for no reason and they always tried to butter up a convo. He just wanted to get over the day to be honest.

And then there she was, smiling like a moron in her white dress and he felt this unspeakable anger as his sweetheart didn't even get the chance to have a proper wedding.

He wasn't even smiling in the photo.

But he was yet to realize how regrettable it was, that picture was the last time she was smiling so bright.