BILLIE

― ― ―

I have nothing to wear. A cry for help. If she still lived with Zoey, Skye’s sister would’ve made her stay to clean up the mess she’d made. Like a tornado tore through her bedroom, Skye had barely been able to sleep before leaping out of bed the second her alarm went off, forgetting breakfast, coffee, but making sure to get a light high going before heading over to Billie’s. Arms full of clothing and bags, Skye didn’t bother to knock before trying the door handle, smirking in victory when it gave way to her to enter. “I hope you’re decent–or if not, don’t be shy. Nothing I haven’t seen before.” She called out, following the home’s layout until she found, disappointedly, Billie on the couch. Remnants of breakfast causing Skye to click her tongue in disapproval, bags falling onto the floor with a thunk. “Any other day, yes–but this is my Met Gala, B. I live for this time of year. Now. Have you showered? I’ll throw you in there myself.” Already Skye was tearing through her bags, holding up clothing pieces and tossing ones she’d decided Billie would wear today or another day.

~-~

“You know I don’t really get the whole Met Gala thing,” Billie started, hoping it to prolong what she knew was coming by focusing on the subject. “Everyone just dresses up fancy to go look at the museum? What’s so great about that?” Of course Billie would still look at all the dresses on the red carpet the next day when they were sorted into hot or not, but she wasn’t one to get hyped up about the American event. Skye was bossy, pushy certainly. Maybe subconsciously that’s why they became friends when they did, Billie needed someone so driven when her own drive was long gone. Someone she could be a passenger to. It was tempting to lie, to say she had showered and simply not washed her hair, but with a casual sniff to her shoulder she doubted that should get by Skye. 

“Fine. But I’m only doing this for a few hours. I have work tomorrow.” She hopes it will get the other off her back if she plays along long enough to have the other distracted by someone else or some music, a time to escape. Getting up she dragged her feet to the bathroom, dreading what was in store for her after she’d bathed. In the shower she let herself zone out, the water washing over her as she closed her eyes. Slowly she mastered up the energy that facing Skye dressing her was going to take, though she would need more, perhaps even alcohol, to face the crowds the festival would bring. Throwing on a bra and underwear she’d taken in to the bathroom she walked in with her hair in a wet messy bun. “What now?” She asks.

“I see you couldn’t keep away.” Billie spots Raine not far from her and cant help but call out to them. She’s found herself a spot further away from the crowd, it was easier to see the people on stage and she didn’t have to deal with people bumping into her. Today she’d worn a light blue dress, trying once again to break out of her pattern of the same three outfits cycled through the week. She hadn’t warn this dress in years, she was lucky it still fit. She was tired but trying, which really only made her more tired. This week had been a lot, now with two familiar faces resurfacing. “Let me guess, you missed the donuts?” That would be one of the first thing she missed if she left Astoria.

"Hi. So weird request- kind of- not really,” Billie starts as she slides up beside the familiar witch figure, “do you want to ride the Ferris Wheel with me?” It had been something the blonde had been wanting to do for a while now but she couldn’t find anyone who wanted to ride with her, and doing it alone just seemed rather boring. Some had excuses like they were going to a stage soon and didn’t want to miss an act, others didn’t like the heights. It was starting to become clear Billie wasn’t going to have a companion for the ride until Laurel had come into view. So here she stood, dressed in a black body suit, long knee high boots and a laced coat (that was going to give her a very strange tan line later) hoping Laurel was game.

It was the day after NovaVerse and Billie should be at work, but instead she finds herself dragging her feet through the entrance of an unfamiliar fire station. Billie didn’t know the people here so she didn’t care they saw her with bed hair and her sweats, having given up on trying once again because the world obviously wanted to remind her not to. It was around 3am she realized sleep was not going to come to her, and then the rage had followed. Twice she’d stormed out out to her car ready to drive here in a chaotic rush, ready to scream her head off, throw some things and cause as much damage for him as she could. It took another few hours for her to lose that anger, to fall into something familiar, something lonely. 

Oh, I thought you knew, Koda’s been living in Astoria for months. Did everyone know but her? She’d heard from a few people back around Christmas they’d seen him in town but Billie thought he’d just visited, seen friends maybe. Anyone but her. No one said anything, so what was she to think? So when she spotted the familiar profile in the crowd she’d been shocked out of the bliss she’d been feeling all day. It felt like a slap in the face, the universe or something telling her not to have fun. Widows don’t have fun. She’d tried to get close to him, tried to get his attention, to check it was really him, but there were so many people she couldn’t keep track of him. Even her voice was lost when the crowd sang along to some artist she didn’t know. He was right there, why couldn’t he just look her way, just see she still existed? 

When she couldn’t see him any more she’d escaped to the less populated parts of the festival to work through the fact her brother in law was in town again. It was there she started to doubt herself, telling herself she was seeing things, even joking out loud about it with a friend. Until they corrected her. They thought she’d know. Months. He’d been in Astoria for months. When she thought he was just visiting he’d really been moving. They were just a drive away, and yet not once had she seen him, not once had he reached out. Nothing had changed. She shouldn’t be surprised. Yet somehow, each time, she is. 

So here she found herself, standing in sweats and an oversized shirt, slippers on her feet, pressing the bell to get someone’s attention behind the counter. And when she did all she could say was "Yeah, hi. I'd like to look through your lost and found. I’m looking for my brother. He is about yay-high and goes by the name Koda. You don’t happen to have one laying around do you?” She gives a tired, strained smile, which fades quicker that it was displayed, her hand raises above her head then flops down like she couldn’t keep it up. She stands there waiting, more than part of her wanted them to say no, they’d never heard of him, that this was all a mistake. 

—

“Totally sober: a phrase never coined by an actual sober human being.” He teased.  

It felt strange for the automatic concern to bloom in his chest. He placed a hand on his hip as he approached, careful to keep his distance. He had dealt with a lot of drunken girls and harsh acrylics against his shoulder. Damn, one of his friends managed to rip a t-shirt when she didn’t recognize him. Women possessed fierce beauty when unhinged. For Billie, this was as close to unhinged as he had seen her. Her smile posed wide, never bracing the same tucked frown he was used to. She was beyond drunk, but she seemed happy. It was a confusing mix.

Her hand struck out, saluting him. Okay, that was definitely a first. He wasn’t sure what part of him made her consider him a drunken soldier, but he’d take it. Rolling his shoulders back, the breeze picked up and fluttered the collar of his button-up. He furrowed his brows and looked straight across the street.

Ick, he knew that restaurant. It was best to find another one down the road. He glanced back at the festival, deciding it was better to keep an eye on Billie than let her wander.

“I think I saw a burger joint down the street when pulling in. You up for a walk?” He asked, his hands tucked into his jeans as he took in the bizarre showmanship of her outfit. Billie definitely didn’t pick that out.

~-~

"What do they say then? Are they like 'no sir I could never be such a thing, my lips have not touched the devils juice today'" she puts on an awful posh accent, scoffing followed by a smile as she amuses herself. Billie could be a rather happy drunk at times. The atmosphere certainly helped. It wasn't the same Billie curled up on her couch with a bottle lingering in her hands as she looks at the photos on her wall full of a handsome ghost haunting her.

Billie doesn't remember the last time she saw Serg. Was that her fault? Probably. Except they were never really friends, not before nor after. Acquaintances maybe, he seemed to just exist in the same circles she did, but on the outer rings where their lives didn't quite touch, at least not often enough. She remembers him, vaguely, after things happened he would show up to help but she hadn't wanted it. Nothing mattered then. But he had tried, and maybe she could have been nicer. Nicer just felt so hard. Everything felt hard.

"I got boots on don't I?" She answers as if the point was obvious, sticking her foot forward as she showed him her black boots. They were old, worn down, a little messy from her adventures so far today. She didn't care that she didn't look perfect like all the girls inside, dressed like models. This was the most she'd done in a long time, some old comforts were needed. "Please tell me you know the song I'm referencing," she begs, hands on her hips as she is prepared to judge the man before her. He might be big and muscly but if he didn't know good music he was no good to her.

set: friday 5th, 7:35pm location: novaverse festival availability: closed | @billiedawson​

Frankie was in line to get some fruity tiki glass drink that she normally wouldn’t drink ever, but this was a festival and no one was going to judge her for grabbing a drink with an umbrella in it. Plus, she got a cool looking reusable cup out of the deal. She took the drink from the vendor and sipped it happily while she made her way to the next stage. That was when she collided with someone, not paying attention. “Oh shit, sorry!” She said looking up and taking a step back. “Oh hey, I know you. You work at the aquarium, right? I brought my nibbling there and you told us about the octopus and their escape tactics.” Frankie smiled, it was cool to hear about and even cooler to see her again. “I’m Frankie. You here alone?” She asked, after introducing herself properly. “I’m headed to the Paten Stage to wait for the Lizzo performance. I’d love to have some company so I don’t have to do all the singing and dancing along, alone. You’re welcome to join me.” She offered, with hopes she’d join her.

~-~

For so long Billie's life was the same cycle of events that she almost forgot what life had been like before the last three years. She used to go out with friends, go to things like NovaVerse, without hesitation. Back in the day she would have lined up for tickets or hung on her phone trying to get them online. When Skye dragged her out of her rut she hadn't been excited, far from it, but after most of the day being lost to a crowd she was glad she came. It felt good to scream with everyone else lyrics she'd heard on the radio time and time again. Plus she was eating all kinds of food and basically drunk from the get go. How could she still be grumpy after all that? Even when someone bumped into her she couldn't grumble at them, because there was no damage done after all. Even her drink made it through the collision. "It's all peachy," she replies genuinely before popping the straw of her drink into her mouth. She was about to continue on her way, wandering around aimlessly, when they seemed to recognize her. It was a relief it was for her work and not other things. Smiling around the straw she nodded until she could swallow her punch and talk again. "Billie. Uh, my friend is running around I just sort of lost her a while ago?" She waves her hand in the direction she last saw Skye but that was at least an hour ago so who knows where the bartender was now. Skye will find her when it was time to go back to hers, given the girls car was still in her drive way. "As long as I get to see Foo Fighters at nine-thirty I'm game for whatever. Lets go." So maybe it was a little uncharacteristic of her to jump into plans with strangers, or maybe it was a little old Billie coming back, but she had alcohol and the promise of Lizzo, what was there to complain about? "So nibbling? I take that’s what you call your kid? They do love the octopus stories."

@astoriastarter​  /  parking lot adjacent to the festival   /  open

Sergio pressed a hand against the hot top of his car, his dark eyes examining the door for any scratches. Festivals made him nervous. The publicity of it had almost the entire city packed into one area, leaving their security overwhelmed and understaffed. Perhaps, he was paranoid. He had every right to be since December. His throat tensed at the idea of a stray bullet landing the wrong way again. It was a curse that he cared so deeply for the people of Astoria. They were all good in their own form even the ones shrouded in darkness and temptation for darker magic.

They held their own and stayed because there was no place safer than Astoria. Or…so they say.

His broad shoulder pressed against the door as he tucked in a few pieces of merch. Rather than tote around the clump of shirts he bought on impulse, it felt better to let them bake in the sun as he turned abruptly to the side. His gaze lingered on a person, shifting into an easy grin as they made their way forward.

“You’re not too fucked already, are you?” He jested.

~-~

Despite not wanting to come to the festival Billie was in a good mood. Maybe it was the fact she hadn't stopped drinking since Skye arrived with a bunch of clothing she felt uncomfortable in. Or it was the music she had lost hours to dancing, as well as her friend who got mixed into the crowd. As much as she enjoyed Skyes company she did not have the energy to keep up with her. In fact all the people was getting a bit too much for her. Wandering around with an overpriced cup of rum and juice she felt her stomach grumble. The idea of paying an arm and a leg on some fancy plate of food sounded far from her ideal plan, but then she remembered just outside the festival was a bunch of shops that were hopefully open. She waved her wrist band at the staff guarding the exit to show she'd be back and took herself on an adventure. 

Still sipping from her cup she passed the busy car park trying to remember exactly what places were around her. Something cold would be nice, she'd been sweating through the cardigan she'd thrown on top of Skye's band shirt she was wearing. Thankfully she hadn't worn jeans after all, the shorts she went with gave her legs room to breath. 

So maybe she found herself off the sidewalk weaving through the cars, her end goal still in sight but her journey there was an adventure. Her head bobbed along to the band playing in the distance, something familiar, maybe she'd heard it on the radio. Lost in her own world trying to work the words out she was caught off guard when a familiar voice called out to her. She stuttered to a halt, drink threatening to be lost. "Damn it, I almost had it.” She says out loud with a little annoyance as the phantom lyrics slip from her mind just as she was sure she had them. She sighs heavily, turning her attention to the man who called her out for her drunken state, she tried to play sober but it was pretty obvious in how bubbly she was being compared to her usual isolated self. It was almost like she could be the version of herself she lost a few years ago. "I don't know what you're talking about Sergeant. I’m totally sober." As if to dismiss the conversation she salutes him and continues on her way only to pause a moment later and turn to face him, thinking the lug of a man could least help her if he was going to be there, existing, annoyingly so. "Oi. Do you by chance know where I can get some food?"

open starter ; @astoriastarter​. location ; donut hole in ashville. time ; mid afternoon  ▬  february 27th.

There was little Wilhelmina hated more than being called by her full name, but on that afternoon, she decided that the crowded bakery surely did up one on it. She was in the line for… well, she really didn’t know how long and by the time it was her turn to order, they were all out of her favorite creme bruleé doughnut and it would be about ten minutes wait for them to get her a regular glazed one. Coffee was the one thing they didn’t make her wait for, which meant that she had to order about three of those. One for the wait, one for the food and one for her nerves. She sighed and smiled at the lady behind the counter, absolutely never finding in her to be rude to anyone, even when she was feeling so deeply frustrated. She turned around with one coffee in hand to look at her second challenge of the day▬ find a seating place when all the tables were occupied. With pursed lips she perused the place until her eyes finally laid upon a table occupied, but with a free chair. Swallowing thickly (she hated to be a bother), she approached, clearing her throat when she was at ear’s length. “Excuse me? So sorry to bother you, but you think you can maybe spare me this seat? If no one is there? I have to wait a while for my order and there are literally no available sitting in the house▬” she pressed her lips together before she rambled more, looking at the person expectantly.

~-~

It was time for a change in routine. Billie was sure her therapist would be proud of her as she shed her house clothes and found something more presentable for the general public. Instead of heading towards the beach or even work she'd driven towards Ashville in search for a cafe for lunch. Unbeknown to her until she passed it Donut Hole had opened a second location, the first being the valley where she had visited many times over the years. A guilty pleasure they were. Any plans of a healthy lunch left her mind as she found herself pulling into the carpark and heading inside, bag draped over her shoulder. The wait had been a bit much but the treats behind the counter well worth it. With a latte in one hand and a plate of cheesecake filled donut in the other she navigated her way to a free table. Her mother would surely yell at her if she found out this was what Billie considered a meal, there wasn't a vegetable in sight. Sometimes you just had to feed your sweet tooth. Billie retrieved her ipad from her bag and started to look online at nearby shops as she bit into the first ball of deep friend dough. It was just as she had her mouth full that someone came and interrupted. Quickly trying to save face with a serviette she listened to the strangers request. If it had been anyone else she probably would have pretended someone else was coming to join her but they seemed rather shy, harmless even. "Oh no go right ahead," Billie says once her mouth is empty and she looks less like a pig. With a quick hand gesture a small gush of wind passed them by, despite being inside, shifting the seats legs so it pulled out for the woman. Just like that the wind was gone and Billie was folding her serviette up like nothing happened. "You'd think the crowd would lessen with more stores, but it's just as bad as the valley store," she attempts to make small talk.

‘I have nothing to wear’. The text should have been enough to avoid plans, most of of Billie’s friends understood that meant she wasn’t going to show up. If she could even call them that at this point. Most if not all of her long term friends had given up on trying all together. Skye on the other hand she should have known better. They hadn’t exactly been friends back in the day but their bond on drinking and general lack of wanting to deal with people had them bond over the last year. Whilst Billie had found herself in front of her television with no plans to leave her pajamas she spotted through the window an all too familiar vehicle rolled into her drive way. “I don’t know what she’s doing here. I’m not going” she says to her audience, namely Tom and Jerry who paid no attention to her as one chased the other through the cartoon house. Dark hair popped out of the car followed by what Billie realised, with a daunting sensation, was clothing. She should have known better. If it weren’t for the fact she’d left her door open with just the screen door shut to let fresh air in Billie would pretend she’s not home, maybe even at work, but it was pretty obvious at the volume her TV was that she was in fact there. “Damn it” she muttered as she shoved the last of her breakfast into her mouth and pushed off the couch, walking over to great her uninvited guest. “Shouldn’t you still be asleep or something?” She greeted with food still in her mouth.