Septum nose piercings are SO feedee coded.
They are like the numbered live stock tags they use to distinguish one bull or pig from the other.
Like yes, I know these are used for fat pets, but I can be domesticated just like any other animal…
It’s like the fatter the person I see with a septum piercing, the thicker the gage on it and the heavier the hardware is. They worked to show that off, on all counts!
It’s like a public sign to put me on all fours and fatten me up until my belly completely lays on the ground. 
I keep daydreaming about going on a date to a buffet until I’m so absolutely stuffed I can barely waddle, just to be sat down in a piercing parlor by my feeder.
Realizing I’m too big to get up, to fat to resist. So I just watch down my nose, drooling as they pop a permanent piercing into my chubby face.
Self fulfilling prophecy really
