This is just a little thing im writing about Ivan!!! I felt like making angst and had an idea. This takes place three years before the events of Mouthwashing.
There they stood. All of his fellow crew members wearing bright, conic party hats, all patterened with different shapes but similar colours. Red and yellow.
Surprise indeed. Ivan couldn't remember the last time he had a birthday party: They never had the money for it, his parents always coming up with excuses as to why, usually being told the same "Your birthday is too close to the first day of school!" crap, he eventually gave up on having them.
Looking shocked at the effort the crew had put into throwing him his. He hadn't even been on the ship that long, yet...
His train of thought was cut off by a robotic sounding tune, like 'Happy Birthday' sung by a voice synthesizer. But without the actual words, just the vibrations. The tune only amplifying as their captain walked up.
"Happy birthday, to our newest crew member." Curly said, holding the plate the cake was on like he was trying to make extra sure it didn't fall.
Ivan was quiet. Too quiet. He was touched, but...
"I... I.. You didn't have to do all this, guys..." He said, smiling sheepishly.
After being sung Happy Birthday, and blowing out the candles, he cut the cake, a small sliver of the... Dessert.
He cut just enough for himself to make it believeable, but had never tried it before. He liked cake, but knowing this was made of gelatin and sweetener, he began to feel queasy, unable to get himself to even try it as he simply poked his plastic utensil at the odd textured cake.
Ivan felt grateful, but stared the cake down with an intense gaze. He wasn't sure he could eat it, and felt his nails dig into his palms as he nervously fidgetted.
"So, Ivan. What'd you wish for?" Anya asked, taking a bite of her own slice.
Yet Ivan couldn't. Such a waste of ingredients.
"Oh, well... If I told you guys, it wouldn't come true, would it?" Ivan laughed a bit awkwardly. The truth was that he hadn't even made a wish.
He felt like a kid again, sitting at the dinner table and trying to choke down the food put on his plate He always tried to get rid of it, but the 'picky eating' issue never really left him, and he stared intently at the slice of cake. He couldn't bare to eat it, but he didn't want it to go to waste.
Ivan poked at his cake, and as the others talking amongst themselves became background noise, he was sucked into his own head. He felt his mind was a thick slurry of what it should have been, what everyone elses were, how every little positive thought was mangled and paired up with something negative like a covalent bond between thoughts was formed to keep him from being too hopeful for the future. The negative thoughts only came like diatomics, paired up with thoughts like oneself. He never showed that part, though. Someone had to stay optimistic, right?
He zoned back in just enough to cut a small piece off the cake with the side of his fork, staring at it as he hesitantly poked it like he was finally going to try to eat it.
He felt hot. Like something had come over him. Ivan trembled just a little, feeling his bottom lip begin to shake. He knew what was happening, and he had to get back to his lab before it all came crashing down on him.
He abruptly stood up, his fork clattering against the table a bit, and smiled warily.
"Thank you! This was very great!" He exclaimed, leaving the room and hurrying to his lab before anyone else could speak another word to him. His voice had warbled as he spoke, and Ivan was acting rather odd, he seemed unlike himself.
