Writing Right, Right?

[Verse: David Gilmour] Breathe, breathe in the air Don't be afraid to care Leave but don't leave me Look around and choose your own ground For long you live and high you fly And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry And all you touch and all you see Is all your life will ever be Run, rabbit, run Dig that hole, forget the sun And when at last the work is done Don't sit down, it's time to dig another one For long you live and high you fly But only if you ride the tide And balanced on the biggest wave You race toward an early grave” 

These are the lyrics from “Breath(In the Air)” the second song in The Dark Side of the Moon. I started listening to Pink Floyd in 8th grade going through some pretty rough shit, and never stopped. Pink Floyd’s music questions reality and the social impositions brought on by society. When I listen to their music, I can truly sit back and think about things from a neutral perspective. In the song, David Gilmour (the fucking legend) sings “For long you live and high you fly, And smiles you’ll give and tears you’ll cry, and all you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be”. This is a reference to Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. Both David and Plato are claiming that your entire life is what you perceive through your own senses. Everything else is irrelevant, because you never experience life from another perspective. David continues to talk about rabbits digging holes, and riding the tide. He is talking about the modern person and their tendency to become so focused on personal goals that they forget to enjoy their life and pursue happiness. 

My writing journey started off in the AAC. Eli and I found this poster, which is an example of a rhetorical situation. College students have extremely high levels of stress, and often have no one to talk to. This poster effectively tries to solve that problem with its rhetoric. By encouraging students to talk to a counselor, this poster is using rhetoric to better the lives of those at DU. 

After strolling out of the commons, we came across the sign which signifies the commons. This reminded me of context. In the library, there is a very professional and academic setting. People are trying to get things done and be productive. When you write, it is important to consider who is going to be viewing your piece. Adjusting tone, style, format, and demeanor can make the difference for audiences. 

Next on our journey, we came across this wonderful piece of urban art. Just like writing, this piece is employing rhetoric in its own way. I honestly don’t know what that is, but I’m sure the sculptor was trying to accomplish something. Using rhetoric often also allows you to understand the work of others, and see what they are trying to get across. 

THE BRIDGE TO LEARNING! Whilst proceeding to the Driscoll Green, Eli and I saw the bridge. We used this to signify the process of reflection. No matter how strong a writer’s skills are, all of their work is useless unless they can connect it to a broader spectrum. Transitioning from exploring concepts to understanding them is not something everyone can do. By actively considering our tendencies during the writing process, we can improve our writing and expand our knowledge. 

AUDIENCE. Passing through the stadium we were reminded that audience is a key factor when composing an argument. You must think about who you are writing to, and what goal you want to accomplish. Changing style, format, and language allows you to relate to an audience. By doing this, you can develop credibility with them. The more an audience trusts the credibility of a piece, the more likely they will be to follow your thinking. 

When I think of writing, I don’t limit my considerations to text. Writing is about mastering language, and using it as a tool. Before taking this class, I thought about writing as a pretty linear process. Respond to a prompt, and keep requirements for the assignment in mind. Now, I start my writing process by considering what I want to achieve with that piece. As technology and media progresses, society continues to move away from older and more formal writing styles. Things happen at a much faster rate these days, and because of this traditional essay style writing is becoming obsolete. Practicing writing in the classroom will allow us to use English as a tool in the future. Writing allows us to give reason to our perspectives, and give others the opportunity to understand where we come from.

To effectively write, it is essential that the author needs to understand that they are pursuing a goal. Creativity when composing should be used to prove a point or support an argument. Developing the ability to use rhetorical devices naturally is valuable in all walks of life. Whether it’s convincing your parents to let you do something, or answering questions in a job interview, rhetoric can be used to enhance an argument.

Reflection gives writers the opportunity to consider the implications of their work. Reflection should be an active process in which the writer analyzes their rhetoric constantly, looking for the most effective argument. If you are writing with indifference, or a lack of passion, you might as well just stop. All art has value, and looks to introduce new ways of thinking. My theory of writing revolves around the fact that writing is part of everything we do. By practicing ways to master English, we can apply this to every day encounters and broaden the perspective of our thoughts.

As a thinker, I hate being trapped within the American school system. This day in age, people often associate their self worth with their profession, major, or level of income. As students we can become micro-focused on certain aspects of subjects and forget about the broader picture. Fulfillment doesn’t come from achieving some status, it is the result of following a passion. Stepping back allows a person to gain perspective, and act rationally when things don’t turn out in their favor. This relates to our reading on reflection by Yancey. It is easy to forget the significance of our action. The process of consciously recalling past events and their meaning enhances the character of individuals. (Sidenote: the meme is from Across the Universe which is a film/musical with a Beatles sound track. If you haven’t seen it definitely check it out it’s got some bangers). 

Writing: In the past, I’ve never enjoyed spitting out book reports about random characters from novels I’m forced to read. But, I have understood the importance of developing writing as a skill for life. This comic shows some pissed off teenagers who hate school, and decide to crack a couple jokes. This comic stood out to me because in the past I’ve always been one to love satirical humor and parodies. In high school I would meet criteria on assignments, but I looked to change the format or style to protest “textbook learning” or whatever the fuck you want to call it. After being in class over the course of the quarter, I’ve realized that I was employing rhetoric the entire time I was trying to rebel against school, and probably learning more than I would have just doing the assignment. Our reading “Where Good Ideas Come From” relates to this because we often don’t recognize when we have a worthy thought. Actively processing the importance of things is a skill that is enhanced by the writing process. Reflecting on our own life, and comparing our experiences to those of others diversifies the mind. 

Detective: Mark Smith was found deceased on June 6th, 2010. He was discovered in the Modera parking garage with multiple stab wounds. The body was discovered at 5:35 AM, which tells us that the murder most likely occurred sometime between midnight and 5 in the morning. We must think about the intent of the crime. Why did they choose a parking garage for the location of the murder? Is there a resident in the building who recognizes the body? Mark’s wallet had no cash in it, and his credit cards were taken when the body was discovered. His wife Linda claimed to be home in bed at the time of the crime. Mark said he was going out to meet up with some old buddies from college, and never returned. Upon contacting Mark’s friends, his wife discovered that none of them were in town that night. Linda also disclosed to us that Mark was employed by the DEA but never specified which field. It looks like Mark messed wrong people and paid for it. There were no cameras that covered the area of the crime, but two large black escalades were seen leaving the parking garage at 3:57 AM.

 Coroner: Body was received at 3:50 PM on June 6. 6 stab wounds in the lower abdomen and chest. A freshly carved scar was found on Mark’s forehead, resembling a mark commonly found on members of the Sinaloa Cartel. The body appears to have been dead since about 3 or 4 AM on June 6, decomposition hasn’t fully begun. Along with the stab wounds, the body has several bruises around the ribs and head, indicating a savage beating and struggle prior to death. Stab wounds punctured Mr. Smith’s lungs, heart, and stomach, leading to his violent death.

 Eulogy: Although Mark Smith always had that hidden part of his life, he always supported our family. He may have died in a parking garage with his intestines spilling out onto the cold concrete, but there was still gold in his heart. As his close friend, I cannot thank him enough for his service to our country and its citizens. His work with the DEA has ensured safety for millions of others.

Mark, I hope you’re watching down on us knowing how much we love you. Through the ups and downs, you were always there for me, and inspired me to better myself. You didn’t get the chance to say goodbye, but I know in my heart you went out thinking of your family and friends as you left this world. Also, you still owe me 5 bucks Mark. Rest in Peace.

 Lawyer: After reviewing the statements from the detective and coroner, I have come to the conclusion that Mr. Smith’s death was a result of his work as a field agent in the DEA. Mark told his wife he was going out with friends on the night of June 5 so he could perform some investigative work on drug trafficking movement in the area. After locating suspected members of the cartel at some point, Smith was spotted and taken hostage. This explains his severe bruising, and the carving etched so graphically into his forehead. Cameras caught two escalades leaving the scene of the crime, but both had covered plates. Mr. Smith was murdered by a force much larger than local law enforcement is prepared to deal with, and I’m afraid our problems with the cartel are just starting in Denver.

 Which of the exercises did you find the easiest to write? Why?

The detective was the easiest to write for me, because it covers mainly tangible evidence and deductible reasoning. Other perspectives required thinking about abstract details, but the detective was the most straight forward and simple in my opinion.

Which of the exercises did you find the hardest to write? Why?

The eulogy was the hardest to write for me because I have never had to write one, and I’ve never been to the funeral of a close family member. It was hard for me to get in the mindset of someone grieving so heavily, as I have been fortunate enough to never experience that personally.

What does the rhetorical situation of academic writing demand? Who is the audience? What tone is appropriate? What jargon might be needed? What info might be included and/or rejected in an academic paper?

Peer Review for Brody

Argument 1: Draft 2

1.      The writer’s argument is that too little sleep, or not following one’s natural sleep schedule results in decreased performance in school, and overall lower health. Especially in youth populations.

2.      The writer establishes logos with his cartoon, which shows the logical steps that take place when youth don’t get enough sleep. Brody also has ethos, as he is currently a student and has experienced the effects of not enough sleep.

3.      The authors show’s understanding for his audience with his format (comic) and the subject of the comic(adolescent boy). Young kids enjoy reading comics, especially if it’s about someone their age because they can relate more.

4.      The writer fulfills genre conventions by using all of the aspects of a comic strip. By creating a complete strip with images, text, and events happening, Brody has effectively used the comic strip to reach his audience.

5.      One thing to work on would be length. Add at least 3 more boxes for each comic, so there is more of an end product. Another addition that would be a great improvement would be the inclusion of statistics or some sort of personal testimonial. This would give your argument more ethos.

6.      The simplicity of the comic works well. You didn’t overdo anything, and it’s easy to see what you are comparing. The argument also couldn’t be more relevant in terms of the audience. This problem has received little recognition and effects tweens more than any other age group.

Argument 2: Draft 1

1.      The writer argues that our society has reached a point where healthy sleep schedules are not encouraged, and young people are struggling to mature healthily because of it.

2.      The writer establishes logos with quotes and examples from different texts. He uses ethos from himself again, talking about the negative effects of sleep. Pathos can be employed to look at how young kids struggle to stay awake and afloat with today’s standards for sleep.

3.      The author shows understanding for his audience with a more professional tone. Most people reading columns will be young adults or fully grown adults who appreciate something slightly more academic. The tone, however, does not feel unnecessary or overused. It fits the subject well and conveys his argument effectively.

4.      The writer fulfills genre conventions by including evidence from outside sources, employing logos and ethos, using a professional tone, and using the two column format to separate his reasoning.

5.      Two things to work on: try to emphasize the fact that this argument is against SOCIETY and INSTITUTIONS. Things are set in place and we need to change them. It’s not the kids fault, and growing children should be able to develop in a healthy manner. Also, try to include a personal example or a specific one. These can often be more powerful and relatable than general statistics.

Transferring knowledge is the art of making connections between two fields that are more than likely not related. Learning is about the process, not the material. Our brains are very powerful tools, and can be trained to perform a near infinite amount of tasks. The struggle when learning is harnessing our brain’s power, and finding a way to teach it new things. For example, when I did my presentation on the Beach Boys in fifth grade, I didn’t come out of it profoundly enlightened by their music. But, I did practice public speaking, formatting, research, and citations. 

In terms of writing, our world is composed of text. You can’t find a place today that doesn’t use language and rhetoric in every aspect of daily life. The writer’s process is always occurring in our heads, but it is rare that we let those ideas out into the real world. Seeing a funny cartoon or meme helps us be funnier when we write and interact with others. Reading a book might improve our ability to reflect and be patient. Watching a war movie might make us consider true human nature. Knowledge and learning are everywhere, we just have to force ourselves to be aware of it. You can learn a lot more sitting on a park bench for an hour than you can on the internet, believe it or not. Writing isn’t all about proper grammar and word choice. Writing allows us to share a part of ourselves with the world that we don’t know how to in another way.