Mallard

unrestrained summer fun

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see

this is worst than finding out from a castiel meme

The day jim davis dies, they will release a garfield strip so absolutely fucking dogshit it will unite all humanity against our common foe

Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

Dude living downstairs has been loudly rapping for like 10 minutes, then suddenly did a high pitched scream, and now its silent down there

he got raptured

Peters's elephantnose fish (Gnathonemus petersii)

When I visited a mutual and finally got to meet their cat and the cat wanted nothing to do with me I was like oh my god I have been in a parasocial relationship with a mutuals cat LMAO

Wishing you all a fat and happy, "catch me if you can" summer

The problem with having OCs is that sometimes you wanna read about your little guy being in situations but unfortunately he is YOUR little guy and no one is gonna put him in that situation but you. Tragic.

god didn't give me a dick because he knew I'd get hard when I heard a rich choral harmony

Tomorrow I will be inventing the wheel