i can't believe i rejoined tumblr

Lets dissect uncle to find his wish gland

Where do you think the comma goes

lets dissect uncle to find his wish, gland. 😼

in retrospect this moment was absolutely pivotal to my butch awakening but it was also just a lesbian power move

Schism? Schism today?

Wow, I didn't have "catholic schism" on my 2026 bingo card

FUCK YEAH.

AYFKM this shit is ASPIRATIONAL.

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

Also a whole lot of people need it to hold down a job or stay in school regardless of reproductive risk: it offers menstrual control. It can be the difference between debilitating, bedbound periods and normal function. It’s medicine. It’s also very cheap to produce and returns soooo many thousands of dollars to the economy for every dollar it costs, so don’t let anyone make a false financial argument about it.

"you wouldn't want that in real life" yeah i know it's called playing pretend, try to keep up

*walks up to a group children playing raptor* you wouldn't want to be chased by raptors in real life, i say smugly with my vast knowledge as an Adult.

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

whatever 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

I did my PhD in a fish lab, and one time I was emailing a fish company, and the guy emailed me back with the signature “Best fishes,” followed by these guys

[ID: a photoset of a white cat playing, jumping, walking, and sitting in blue and red, and green and red lighting. /End ID]

A Funky Boy