B.

“Well, Eddie should have told you,” Chrissy says, a little pointedly. “Sounds like someone is still a tad overprotective.” Her glance darts across the table at your boyfriend, who mumbles under his breath something like, jus’ trying to look out for you. 

His typically boisterous face has grown sullen as he stares at his beer and swirls the last swallow of it that sits in the bottom of the tall glass. Chewing nervously on the corner of your lip, you turned back towards Chrissy.

“Do you think you could, uh…would you mind walking me through it?”

“Of course,” she says. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

“Okay,” you sigh. “How, um…how did it start? Like, how did you guys…when did you…”

The question snags in your throat, face getting hot as you search for exactly what you’re trying to ask only to come up empty. Chrissy’s head tips to the side and she smiles at you reassuringly.

“Should I go back to the beginning?”

She glances between you and Eddie, gauging your reactions, and you look back at him as you reach over to take his hand in yours.

“Is that okay with you?” you ask quietly.

He nods as your fingers lace together. “Yeah,” he says. “I want you to know.”

He holds your gaze for a moment and you squeeze his fingers quickly three times in a row. Your secret communication. An invisible note you pass back and forth whenever you think the other needs the reminder. I. Love. You. It finally brings a small smile back to his face. He lifts his gaze to meet Chrissy’s and gives her an affirming nod.

“Okay, then. Here we go!” 

She titters excitedly and spreads her fingers wide as she prepares dramatically to lay her scene. You shoot Eddie a glance, noting his storytelling influence as she begins. 

“So: high-school. Super fun if you fit in, but of course set one toe out of line and you’re all but burned at the stake. And I was this total goody two-shoes. Genuinely, the wildest thing I ever did was buy a tiny baggie of weed from this one.” She jerks her thumb at Eddie. “And my boyfriend was this super uptight Christian—like, I’m pretty sure he thought if he fingered me, he’d have to chop off his own hand. Which was fine, because he wasn’t what I wanted at all as it turns out.”

That must be the glass of spoiled milk. You nod thoughtfully as Chrissy goes on.

“We broke up right before graduation because I refused to follow him to his first choice school and instead I went away to be a counselor at summer camp…where I met Evelyn.”

She smiles wistfully again with that harlequin romance face of hers.

“We were truly, madly, deeply in love for all of about six weeks. And then our summer bubble popped and it all came to a crashing halt. She went back to Minnesota, and I went home to try and figure out what I was gonna do with my life. And, as it turned out, Eddie was too.”

You knew this part—how Eddie had just barely scraped by on his third attempt at a senior year; how he was more shocked than anyone when the college he applied to on a whim actually admitted him. It was cheaper than every other school in the area, and they had a reputation of accepting just about everyone. But Eddie had been convinced “everyone” wouldn’t include him.

“So, we both wound up at the same school and I was feeling really lost. The whole Jason debacle caused a big rift with my parents and my friends had gone away for college. I was already lonely and I’d just discovered this massive, totally life-altering thing about myself, but I had absolutely no one I could talk to about it.”

Chrissy looks down at her drink somberly and you tried to imagine her back then—the beautiful girl from his yearbook, the literal queen of his high-school, seemingly losing everything that made her, her and it makes your heart ache a little bit.

“I was stressed out and not sleeping well, so I went looking for Eddie to see if I could buy from him again. And he wasn’t selling anymore, but he asked if I wanted to hang out instead. He invited me to sit in on a D&D campaign and introduced me to a lot of really great people.”

At this, Eddie and Chrissy smiled, remembering how poorly her fairy character had fared in that first campaign.

“He was actually the first person I came out to,” she says, eyes softening as she cast a fond gaze in Eddie’s direction. “I wasn’t sure how, but I just knew he wouldn’t judge me. Would never make me feel bad for…being who I was.”

You can’t help but look up at Eddie at Chrissy’s words. You knew all too well the depths of his kindness and his unfailing decency. You knew exactly how at ease he must have made Chrissy feel because he’d been doing the same for you as long as you’d known him.

“So, now I knew I liked girls, but still it was, like, terrifying because I had zero idea how to go about it. And not having any experience kinda made it tough to get experience y’know? Plus…it was still Indiana. Hawkins wasn’t that far away. I knew if anybody found out it would 100% get back to my parents, and I was afraid they’d drag me out of school and send me to a conversion camp or something. I really wouldn’t put it past them to do just that. And back then I…I really didn’t know how to fight back yet.”

Chrissy frowns a little, something like regret or shame ghosting across her face. It’s quickly chased away, though, gone almost as soon as it appears.

“Anyway, Eddie became like my…” She pauses, glossy lips pursed as she thought. “What’s the lesbian equivalent of a beard?”

“A merkin?” Eddie offered, earning a mutual eye roll from you and Chrissy.

“Well, whatever you call it, getting together with people with him felt way safer than going up to someone and hitting on them in a bar. Plus…Eddie has excellent taste in girls.”

Chrissy’s eyes dart sideways and flicker over you again. They linger on your face and drift down briefly to your chest before returning to your eyes. In spite of everything, it makes your cheeks tingle and your core pulse, and you have to forcibly bring yourself back to the moment.

“So, what happened with Never Have I Ever?”

“That was how it got started. I was having a party and Eddie brought this girl he was kind of seeing. We were all sitting around playing and we started talking about threesomes. And she’s like, oh, I’ve never had one, but I always wanted to try. And starts getting all touchy and affectionate with me. And, I guess, I knew she was trying to get Eddie to like her more? Like she was for sure using me, but I was kind of using her too? I don’t know, that’s for me and my therapist to unpack.”

She waves her hands, dismissing the thought before she gets too wrapped up in it.

“Anyway—we all go back to my room and she and I start making out like, ooh, yeah, we’re just kissing trying to turn Eddie on. Meanwhile I’m, like, basically forgetting Eddie is even there!”

Your brows raise as you turn to look at your boyfriend, who simply shrugs his shoulders with an it is what it is, kind of smile on his lips.

“Wow…that’s…quite the visual,” you say. 

It really was. 

You knew Eddie was no saint. He’d had quite a roster in his heyday and he’d always been up front with you about that. He wasn’t Hugh Heffner or anything, but he had that boyish ease and a roguish charm about him that girls (and a couple guys) flocked to. It wasn’t difficult to imagine him and Chrissy tearing through their college like the Williams sisters playing doubles.

“It wasn’t, like, a routine or anything,” Chrissy assures. “But it did end up happening pretty regularly. I got my sea legs, so to speak, and Eddie totally became my wing man. We’d, like, confer about what girls I was interested in and he would lay the groundwork to see if she’d be down. I mean, it was college, so of course a lot of girls were trying to experiment.”

Her dainty fingers made exaggerated air quotes.

“By junior year, I’d found some actual queer girls instead of straight girls trying to get attention. And if I’m ever looking to really date someone, I try to stick to people who are out.”

Eddie snorts as he takes a sip of his beer.

“Hey!” Chrissy squeaks indignantly. “I said try.”

She plucks a peanut from the bowl of mixed snacks sitting in the center of the table and flicked it at him. As if predicting the move, he opens his mouth to catch the nut and crunches it loudly in his teeth as he grins back at her smugly.

You half expect him to stick out his tongue.

“Anyway, all that is way behind us now,” Chrissy says. “We’re much older and wiser.”

Eddie nods in agreement as he reaches for the bowl of snack mix.

“Well…older, at least,” she adds, murmuring to you under her breath as Eddie coughs and sputters slightly on the handful of snacks he shoved so unceremoniously in his mouth.

You snicker again as you two share another conspiring look. 

“So, yeah. That’s pretty much it,” she says.

“Wow,” you sigh softly, lost in thought.

It’s surprising how quickly you start to imagine them together. Soft, reddish blonde curls falling across a smooth back; mixed up with pale, inked skin and his dark, wild shag. Eddie’s rough and guttural moans layering over the high, feminine whines you imagined falling from Chrissy’s lips. And maybe even more surprising…the only one you actually felt some jealousy of was whatever girl that got to be between them.

“Yeah, we had quite a time. And we could get kind of competitive…which added a fun layer.”

Chrissy’s voice drops as she lifts her cocktail to take a sip, her eyes meeting yours over the rim, and a little of her drink dribbles on her bowed lips. Her tongue flicks out between them to collect it and you feel a sudden warmth on your leg. Her hand finds your knee under the table and she gently starts to gently glide it up your thigh.

You look down, hypnotized by the sight of her fingers drawing figure eights that slipped briefly beneath the hemline of your dress, leaving your skin buzzing wherever she touched it. Almost on instinct, you look over at Eddie, who was already smirking as he followed the movements of Chrissy’s hand on your leg with his eyes. 

His gaze lifts to meet hers and her lips twitch with a smirk of her own, clearly offering a challenge. There’s more buzzing as Eddie reaches for your other thigh, gripping it tight in his wide palm as he hauls himself closer to you in the booth. Chrissy responds in kind, nudging up next to you until your nose is filled again with the crisp, light scent of her perfume. It mixes with Eddie’s headier musk to create something totally unique, much like their distinct touches and the varied pressures of their hands on your thighs and differing weights of those hands.

Heavy and light. Rough and soft. Leather and lace.

Chrissy’s sea glass eyes flicker with intention as you meet her gaze. Her fingers wander higher still, disappearing beneath your skirt and flirting with the crease of your thigh. And you’re certain she must be able to feel the heat radiating at the apex of your legs. Eddie’s hand moves up in kind and he leans in close to kiss the sensitive spot behind your ear he knows so well.

It’s just a game, you think. They must be doing a bit.

The heat of their combined gazes causes an excited fluttering in your chest and a warm rush of blood to your face, among other places. Your pulse throbs, head spinning until Chrissy pulls her hand back and you finally exhale a shaky breath. Eddie chuckles darkly and he presses his lips to your burning cheek, his eyes flickering one last time to Chrissy’s as he does.

You can practically hear his childish taunt of Ha-ha, I win.

At the end of the night, you and Eddie wait outside with Chrissy until her Uber arrives. She was house-sitting for Robin and Nancy while they were in Barbados for a babymoon before Nancy was due to pop in the next four or five months. When her car arrives, you all start to say your goodbyes and both of you open your arms and envelop one another while Eddie looks on.

Chrissy hops in the backseat, reminding you again to let her know if you want to get together again before she heads back to Chicago in a few weeks. You smile and assure her you will, holding up your phone that now has her number saved in your contacts.

On the ride back home, Eddie seems more fidgety than normal. He’s mostly quiet, not even humming along with the radio when you switch it to his preferred station. And when you get home, he’s extra doting from the moment he pulls into the driveway, rushing to tell you to hold on as you reach for the handle so he can come around to your side and open it for you.

Inside, he stops you at the door so he can kneel and help pull off your shoes.

“Thank you, baby,” you whisper, running your hands through his hair and gently scratching his scalp. He sets your boots to the side and stands, wrapping you up in him.

You breathe his scent deeply and start to step away, but he’s not done with you yet.

“Hey,” Eddie starts, gently tugging you back into his arms. He tilts his head down and touches his forehead to yours. “You’re okay, right? With everything you heard?”

“Yeah,” you say, nodding slowly. “I do wish you had told me. I was really getting up in my head about you two.”

“I should have,” he murmured. “And I wanted to, really, but…I guess I was a little afraid of what you might think. Like Chrissy said, I know it sounds kind of scandalous.”

You licked your lips, deep in thought. It was a little weird to think about, sure. You’d never asked for a lot of details about his past relationships, afraid of the specter of jealousy that loomed. You’d figured in most cases, the less you knew, the better. But it was difficult (impossible, actually) for you not to wonder about this.

“So, you’ve had like…a lot of threesomes, then?”

“Technically?” Eddie shrugs. “I don’t know, I never considered it that because I never got with Chrissy. I think she liked watching me fuck girls, but we were like ships passing in the night. The most we would do was like a stage kiss.”

Eddie demonstrates by pulling you into him like he’s going in for the kill, but angling his head in such a way it only seems like you’re touching. Unless someone was laying down beneath you, it would look like you were kissing from almost any direction. He wiggles his head around wildly and makes a series of slurping and smacking noises that cause you to erupt in giggles.

“And none of the girls ever noticed?” you ask, breathless from laughing.

“I think they were a little distracted,” he tells you, his voice getting all low and rumbly. “Kinda hard to keep track of what’s going on with two people trying to make you come.”

The words ignite the fire in your cheeks as does the way he keeps his hold on you, hugging you flush against his body. His excitement is evident pressed up against your hip and you wonder if he can tell you’ve been soaking since he and Chrissy touched your thighs under the table.

“That tracks,” you breathe heavily, shivering as he runs his fingertips up and down your arms. “I can see how the two of you together would be difficult to resist…”

“I definitely didn’t have to push,” Eddie chuckles. “The girls were super down all on their own.”

“No, I get it. Chrissy’s…really pretty,” you say softly. Eddie notes the shift in your tone when you say it this time, no longer threatened. Purely appreciative. Genuine.

“You know, she thought the same thing about you,” he says with an impish smile.

“What do you mean?”

To answer, Eddie takes out his phone and holds it out for you to take. The screen is open to his text thread with Chrissy and you scroll through the messages they’ve been sending leading up to your meeting. It’s all fairly innocuous, not dissimilar to the texts you’d exchanged with him about what nights you were free and where you should go while Chrissy was here.

One of the messages, though, is a picture of you he sent to Chrissy captioned with a heart eyes emoji. The shot is one you’ve never even seen before, from a day not long ago when you and Eddie went for ice cream. You’re sitting across a table from him, looking totally relaxed and comfortable—the polar opposite of how you normally feel in front of a camera.

In your hand is a vanilla cone, a little dab of it on the tip of your nose. Your sunglasses rest on top of your head and your face is luminous as you look off to the side at something—a little dog wearing a bowtie, if memory serves. It might be the most flattering photo you’ve ever seen of yourself, and even more flattering are Chrissy’s proceeding reactions.

Chrissy: wowowowow 😛 she’s stunning! jeez, I might need a minute…

Eddie: hands where I can see ‘em, cunningham.

Chrissy: I kid, I kid! I wouldn’t dare steal your girl

Chrissy: at least not the *first* time we meet.

Excitement warms your chest and the feeling of it radiates down to your center like when Chrissy’s eyes flickered over you at the bar. Eddie’s eyes glint with excitement of his own as he slips his hands down to palm your ass, lifting the skirt of your dress so it skims the tops of your thighs.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you more explicitly,” he says. “I wasn’t sure if Chrissy wanted it to be broadcasted. This is still Hawkins, you know?”

“It’s alright, I get it,” you say.

“And you…you’re sure you’re okay?”

Eddie’s eyes shimmer as he stares at you, revealing the briefest hint of fear. He doesn’t like lying to you, ever. And you know he wouldn’t have done it under many circumstances.

“Yeah, definitely.” You smile, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze. “It's just surprising, I guess.”

“Surprising how?”

“I don’t know, how…hot it is?” You squirm slightly in his arms. “The thought of you guys sharing a girl…both of you making it all about her…”

Eddie’s brow lifts with interest. He knows what a turn-on that is for you—the thought of being the center of your lover’s attention; having them lavish you with affections; prioritizing your pleasure over anything and everything else. He also knew how hard it was for you to voice such a desire because of how selfish it made you feel. And then he had to grit his teeth as he listened to you recount seemingly endless tales of past boyfriends who took advantage of your giving nature  and didn’t return even a fraction of what they received. 

For a whole month afterward, he’d enacted a strict two-for-one policy on himself just to see if he could pull it off. Obviously, he could—even pushing it to three and four if he remembered to stretch first.

Still, he was always looking for new ways to indulge your fantasies.  And it sure sounded like this was shaping up to be one of them.

It’s a couple days later when you come home after work, practically singing to yourself as you kick off your shoes and head into the kitchen to start prepping things for dinner. Fridays normally put you in a good mood anyway, but they’re especially sweet when Eddie had a weekend off. 

You had beat him home. He typically left the garage around 3:00 to compensate for having to be back so early Saturday morning, but the shop was closed through Monday because the owner’s daughter was getting married. To make up for it, their hours had been extended today to squeeze in a few extra customers. Eddie volunteered to stay on, knowing how his boss appreciated it and how he showed that appreciation on payday. Hopper probably could have kept regular hours just by asking Eddie to run things in his stead, but he liked giving his employees a free weekend now and again, especially when he had something to celebrate.

You busy yourself chopping vegetables and browning some ground beef with onions and garlic, a row of cans containing the rest of your ingredients for chili lined up on the counter. Just as you’ve thrown everything in the crock pot and set it to cook on low, a picture of Chrissy’s sweet smiling face fills your phone screen as it buzzes on the countertop. You reach for it with shaking hands, trying to contain yourself and sound as normal as you can as you slide onto a barstool.

“Hi, honey,” she coos in a dulcet tone. “How are you?”

“I-I’m good,” you say, doing your best to pretend you aren’t trembling with excitement just at the sound of her voice. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing, really,” she sighs, sounding a little bit like a pout. “I’m so bored. Eddie said he would call when he got off work so we could all do something, but I haven’t heard anything yet.”

“Ohh, he had to stay late at the garage. He should be home soon, though.”

“Ah, I see. What about you, angel? When did you get off?”

You draw a shuddering breath at her question, feeling certain the entendre is intentional, and hoping she can’t hear you gulp as you answer. “Umm, just…just a little while ago.”

“Mmhmm…and what are you doing now?”

You hear a soft brushing sound over the line and could swear it sounds like she’s laying down on something soft. Maybe a couch, maybe a bed.

“I’ve, um…I’ve been thinking a lot about what you guys told me at the bar.” Another gulp. “About you and him and…sharing girls?”

“Me too,” she sighs. It’s languid and gently strained as though she’s stretching as she says it, exhaling softly into the release of her muscles relaxing. “Made me kinda miss those days…part of me wonders if I’ve still got enough charm to woo a straight girl.”

“I think you’ve got enough charm to do anything you want,” you chuckle.

Chrissy’s laugh is like peals of jingle bells tinkling in your ear. “You big flirt,” she teases.

Your heart is pounding now, the rhythm of it pulsing in your ears and between your legs. Is this for real? Maybe she’s just messing around. Maybe she just likes attention. Maybe—

“Have you ever been with a girl?”

You inhale sharply and chew on your bottom lip. “No, never. My, uh…my friends and I kiss sometimes, but it’s just out of affection. Nothing serious. Nothing real.”

You wonder if she’s able to glean your own disappointment. You’ve never had feelings for a woman, per se, but there had been moments here or there where you noticed certain ones and it caused your mind to wander. There was something so enticing about them. Something so bewitching it made your head spin. Boys were attractive, sure, but women were like works of art come to life.

They seemed more like masterpieces in museums hanging behind glass barriers and velvet ropes you would never dream of touching for fear of tarnishing their beauty.

You’d always suspected there was some part of you that was interested in women and that it might have blossomed if given the opportunity. But then you met Eddie and it didn’t seem to matter so much anymore. Bi or otherwise, he was the one you wanted. 

Still, that curiosity lingered. 

“Have you ever wanted to try?”

Chrissy asks her question plainly. There’s no judgment in her voice, no sense that she’s trying to shame you for your sheltered existence or even pressure you into answering in the affirmative. It feels like talking to an old friend, except your panties didn’t get this wet talking to your friends.

“I did. Or, I guess, I do. I don’t know, it’s hard to say. I love Eddie and he’s who I want to be with, but…” You can’t help trailing off because the truth is you don’t know the end of that sentence.

This was a common failing with you.

Not a failing, Eddie would scold you gently. It’s just a space for improvement. You weren’t great at expressing your desires and had a bad habit of just accepting whatever was offered, and making your own wants an afterthought. And Eddie was everything you ever wanted, so how could you possibly be so selfish as to ask for more?

“No, I get it,” Chrissy says. “He really loves you and you two are so sweet together. But…” Your heart leaps into your throat. “I’m sure he would like the idea of you finding something new that brings you pleasure.”

You pressed your lips together, deep in thought. She definitely had a point there.

Eddie was great about exploring new things and doing whatever he could to help you figure out what you might like in bed. So far, you’d had fairly limited experiences, partly due to being shy and also just a lack of opportunity. Again, see ex-boyfriends who were perfectly content having you pleasure them, but rarely made the leap to think outside the box (pun intended).

He’d read up on soft dominance when you mentioned once in passing you liked the idea of someone being in control over you, but figured you couldn’t be a submissive because you didn’t think you’d enjoy impact play or being punished or humiliated. And another time when you saw a short video on proper hair pulling technique and asked if you could try it out on him, he started doing it back to you and excitedly realized it was very much more your thing.

“I mean…we could try something?” Chrissy says. “With Eddie there?”

“I think I’d be too scared,” you say, wincing at your own diminutive voice.

“Oh, honey,” she mewls sweetly. “Why’s that?”

“B-because I…I wouldn’t know what I was doing and I…” You pinch your eyes shut and dredge up every speck of confidence you have to finish the thought. “I would wanna make you come.”

There’s a soft gasp over the line, so faint you thought you must have imagined it at first. And when Chrissy takes a few seconds to respond, you swear your heart stops until her smooth, sultry voice returns.

“You would, huh?”

“Yeah, of course,” you say. “I’d, um…I’d want to know you were enjoying yourself.”

“Trust me, I would definitely be enjoying myself,” she says with another lilting sigh.

There’s some more rustling on the line. Was she taking off her shirt? What did her bra look like? Is she even wearing a bra or are her breasts exposed now, pretty pert nipples hardening as she skates her free hand over them and down her abdomen and belly?

“Why don’t you tell me how you’d do it? What would you do to me if I was there?”

Okay, that is definitely the sound of her unzipping her jeans. Your heart races at the thought of one of the prettiest girls you’d ever seen touching herself to the idea of what you would do to her and you think you might combust on the spot.

“I’d…I’d wanna touch you all over…feel how soft you are…I’d wanna grab you by that ponytail and yank your head back so I could kiss your neck…”

“Oo-ooh! That’s right, baby. Show me who’s in charge.”

You chuckle bashfully, trying to keep your cool hearing the slick sounds of Chrissy’s fingers playing with herself. Your mind is still scrambling for what to say next when the sound of the front door opening catches your ear and your head jerks up to see Eddie returning home from work.

“Hey, baby,” he says, smiling brightly as he comes through the door and you practically gush all over the barstool just at the sight of him.

He’s still got his hair pulled back in a low bun, little curly tendrils framing his handsome face. He hasn’t changed out of his coveralls, but has the top unzipped and tugged down with the sleeves knotted around his waist to reveal the white tee he wears underneath. The material is smudged all over, stretched tight across his chest and around his biceps that flex as he plops down his bag and leans on the counter across from you. He smells like sweat and motor oil and the sex you had this morning that made him have to skip his shower so the smell of you clung to him all day long.

It takes him all of about five seconds to deduce what is going on. His eyes flit first to your face, biting down on your lip with your expression pained from how turned on you are. And then down to your thighs that press together as you squirm in your seat, desperate for some friction.

“Who ya talkin’ to?” he asks, his casual smile descending into one of pure filth.

“Ch-Chrissy,” you gasp. “She, uh, wanted to do something tonight.”

Eddie’s eyes are positively wolfish and the sight sends another jolt between your legs. He nods and motions for you to hand the phone to him. He holds it to his ear and stands tall over you, getting as close as he can so you can still faintly hear Chrissy’s voice over the receiver.

“Cunningham, you dog,” he chuckles darkly. “You getting my girl all worked up?”

“She’s getting me worked up,” Chrissy retorts with a tinkling laugh.

“Oh, I know she is,” Eddie says, tongue flicking over his lips to wet them. “I bet you’re touching yourself while you talk to her too. Aren’t you, you bad girl?”

Even as Eddie speaks to Chrissy, his eyes lock onto yours and you can tell this show he’s putting on, the words he’s saying in that deep growl he knows you love, is all for your benefit. He places his hand on your knee and gently guides your legs apart to stroke your inner thighs. His fingers roam freely, but decidedly swerve away from where you need him most and you have to grip the seat beneath you to stop yourself from dragging his hand straight into your heat.

“Ma-a-ybe,” Chrissy’s voice lilts, half-moaning her answer.  “Is she touching herself?

“No, not yet,” Eddie says, his fingers still inching their way up your thighs. “My sweet girl knows how to behave. Don’t you, baby?”

You whimper as you nod, even though part of you knows if Eddie had taken much longer to come home he might have found you in a much more compromising position. His fingers finally reach where you need him most and he sighs at the warmth and wetness he finds.

“Ohhhh…” he moans, the sound coming from deep in his chest as he swipes your panties to the side and nimbly begins to stroke and tease your entrance. “She’s dripping though.”

“You’re welcome,” Chrissy titters faintly. 

Your back arches in response to his words and his touch, thrusting yourself towards him, wordlessly begging for more. His fingertips sink inside, but remain decidedly in the shallows as he watches them, enraptured by his own movements as well as the way your slick coats them.

“Talk to Chrissy for me, baby,” he grunts. “I need to taste you right fucking now.”

Eddie grins as he passes the phone back to you and drops to his knees, spreading your legs apart so he can bury his face between them. It’s not often he jumps straight to the point like this. Sometimes he gets so wrapped up in the teasing and toying, you think he enjoys the lead up as much as the main event, if not a little more. But right now, his fervor can’t be delayed for one second as he flattens his tongue and licks a fat stripe directly through your center. 

You throw your head back and moan with abandon as his lips surround your clit and he sucks on the over-sensitized nerves. Your arm trembles from the effort of clutching your seat, one hand holding onto it for dear life as you press the phone against your cheek with the other.

Chrissy moans in response to your own that rang through over the line. You picture her laying on a plush bed piled high with blankets and pillows, her lithe body all twisted up in pleasure as she touches herself. For some reason, you imagine her under a gauzy canopy strung with fairy lights that cast her in their soft, radiant glow. The hot girls always had canopies over their beds when you were growing up. You wished you could smell her perfume and feel her lips on yours.

You bet she tastes like a piece of watermelon candy.

“I missed you, darling,” she says, breath stilted as her moan trails off. “Tell me how you feel. Is he touching you? Filling you up nice?”

“Y-yes, his…his tong—fuck…his tongue is…”

Words are already impossible when Eddie is going down on you so enthusiastically, and it’s made all the more difficult with Chrissy’s breathy voice in your ear, coaxing you towards your release.

“I wish I was there too, pretty girl. I wish I could lick you up like he is.”

Eddie jumps to his feet and you gasp at the movement and the loss of his mouth on you. Thankfully, you have just enough wherewithal to hold the phone away so you don’t squeal in Chrissy’s ear when he lifts you up and heads for the bedroom with you cradled in his arms. He doesn’t place you down so much as he throws you on the bed and you bounce slightly on the mattress before sinking into the extra thick down duvet he gave you for your last birthday.

His eyes are wild as they rake over you and he snatches the waistband of your panties to drag them fully down your legs. He flings them to the side and strips off his own shirt before frantically tugging down his coveralls, revealing his boxers that are stretched to their absolute limit.

You’ve had more than your fair share of energetic encounters with Eddie before, but there’s a fire lit within him this time pushing him to new heights. Part of you wonders if he likes having Chrissy as an audience—likes the thought of her listening to him draw every moan and whimper out of you; likes the thought of showing off his prowess, showing off you. Maybe you do too.

His mouth returns eagerly to your center and as he devours you like an animal, Chrissy hears your pleasure in pealing moans that fall from your lips.

“God, you sound so good,” she sighs. “I wanna hear more.”

Your mind is turning straight to mush from their combined efforts. You can’t even think about the noises you’re making, only the ones you hear coming through the phone or drifting up from between your legs. Eddie moans sinfully and you can feel the vibrations of it as well as the words he’s murmuring into your pussy about how hot you are. Distantly, you register a low buzzing on the other end of the line and when Chrissy speaks you can hear in her voice how close she is.

“Come for me, sweetness,” Chrissy moans. “Come for me and I’ll come for you.”

Eddie feels your reaction to her words as he fucks you with his tongue. He drags the tip back up to your clit and begins to flick it against the swollen bud. He fills you with his fingers, sliding them easily inside and curling them upwards in search of that sacred spot inside of you. 

Blinding white light fills your vision as he presses on your g-spot and your orgasm overtakes you rapidly—your entire body quivering, exploding all over. In your ear, you can hear Chrissy as she reaches her peak, her breathy moans echoing your own. Eddie remains buried between your legs as you ride out your high, still murmuring his endless praise that’s muffled by your cunt.

“You’re doing so good for me, baby, so fucking good. Jesus fucking Christ…”

Slowly, reluctantly, you return to earth.

The softness of the bed beneath you cradles your body that has gone slack with exhaustion. Eddie sits back on his calves as he surveys the results of his toil with a triumphant smile. There’s a sheen of sweat on his bare chest and his chin is glistening with your spend. He pulls the phone from your limp grasp and holds it up to his ear to talk to Chrissy as he gazes lovingly down at you. 

“You alive over there, Cummingham?”

He grins wide at his own joke, always his own best audience. You roll your eyes, but laugh too as you try to regain your breath. You’re too blissfully fucked out and he’s too far away for you to hear Chrissy’s response, but that fiery blaze returns to his eyes as he listens to whatever she is saying.

“Oh, I don’t think we’re even close to done yet,” Eddie chuckles.

You giggle softly and manage to shake your head to confirm his suspicions. He leans over you, dark curls falling forward as his bun comes loose and surrounding you in a curtain. And he speaks to her, his voice low and even, eyes burning into yours as he does.

“How about you get your ass over here and we see who can make my girl come the most?”

House of the Dragon

Aemond Targaryen

You Adored Me Before – part 1, part 2

Thy Mission (+ aegon)

Forget-Me-Not

Sweet, Wonderful You

Thou Shalt Not Covet

Good as Gold

The Ails of a Cup of Red

Edge of Desire

Dragons of the Same Fire

I Come To You A Sinner

A God Among Men

Étoile (modern aemond)

Give You My Lovin’ (modern aemond)

The First Taste (modern, + michael gavey)

-> The First Time You Called Me Baby (prequel)

-> Wandering Eyes

Aegon II Targaryen

Thy Mission (+ aemond)

Thou Shalt Not Covet

The Heavenly Ivory Touch of Your Hand

Oh, Mother (modern aegon)

Criston Cole

This Heaven Gives Me Migraine (+ harwin strong)

Gwayne Hightower

Sweet Disposition

Ewanverse

Michael Gavey

The First Taste (+ modern aemond)

Tom Bennett

coming soon!

Osferth

Lovely As Can Be

Abraham (Grantchester)

Aemond Targaryen (House of the Dragon)

Billy Taylor (The Halcyon)

Billy Washington (Trigger Point)

Daemon Targaryen (House of the Dragon)

Ettore (High Life)

Genyen (Doctors BBC)

Michael Gavey (Saltburn)

Osferth (The Last Kingdom)

Otto Hightower (House of the Dragon)

Tom Bennett (World on Fire)

12 Days of Smuffmas

Crack Fics

Headcanons

CHAPTER ONE - Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

CHAPTER TWO - The Thought of You Makes Me Weak

CHAPTER THREE - You'd Be Like Heaven To Touch

CHAPTER FOUR - Trust in Me When I Say

CHAPTER FIVE - There Are No Words Left to Speak

CHAPTER SIX - To Warm a Lonely Night

CHAPTER SEVEN - Let Me Love You

CHAPTER EIGHT - Pardon The Way That I Stare

CHAPTER NINE - You're Just Too Good to Be True

CHAPTER TEN - Please Let Me Know That It's Real

CHAPTER ELEVEN - Now That I Found You Stay

Ghostin’ (series) by @munson-blurbs

➢ Summary: Before dying in the Upside Down, Eddie asks Steve to take care of you. The grief coupled with your burgeoning feelings for one another may be too much for you to handle, especially when you get some shocking news.

🐇: Holy shit. This is one of the most impressive pieces of fanfiction I have ever read. It's— I feel speechless and like telling you the entire plot at the same time. It ties in with canon so perfectly, I would legit accept it as my Season 5. This is amazing. I cried, laughed, and am unreasonably invested. No shit. If you only ever read one fanfiction of my recommended ones, it needs to be this! || Still ongoing / Steve Harrington x f!Reader

You, Me, & Steve (one-shot) by @lis-likes-fics

➢ No Summary, so just listen to me describe it: Okay, so, Reader and Eddie are a couple and lately Eddie brings Steve along to everything, causing Reader to think he wants to be with Steve. Turns out our Babygirl is bicurious and Eddie offered that he and Reader be Steve’s first bi experience should she be up for it. She is. Here are the warnings or how I like to call it shopping list: smut, face riding, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, deepthroating, praise kink, daddy kink, gay sex, I'm not saying Steve's a sub but Steve's a sub, bottom!Steve, top!Eddie, switch?reader, overstimulation, threesome...

🐇: Listen: I read this fic a couple of months ago and LOST it! I couldn't find it anymore! BUT the way Reader and Eddie gave me MASSIVE bi-panic stuck in my head. THIS is one of my top Eddie x Steve x Reader fics... asdfghjkl. Do yourself a favor and read this kinky piece of porn.

helping hands. (one-shot) by @daddyreid

➢ Summary: you and steve are having some trouble getting you to fit him, so he takes you to his friend eddie, who is happy to help.

🐇: I love when things have vibes. And this had vibes. I would read an entire series like this. It’s a very good one-shot. daddy!steve harrington & dom!eddie. That's it. That's all I have to say. I also have a daddy kink so... Yeah.

Bad Idea (one-shot) by @lunarzstarz

➢ Summary: Not wanting to leave for college with your virginity still intact, you turn to your last resort that you know can only end terribly…

🐇: Fuckboy!Eddie can ruin my life. I am in pain but very pleased. I– This– He– The things he said... 💳💥💳💥 // Just read that there will be more parts and I– I just– YES?! This is so good.

as long as you need (one-shot) by @lilacletter

➢ Summary: your hang out with eddie takes a different turn when you confess something big to him. your ex wouldn’t make you cum because he thought you took too long to finish. eddie's reaction of shock and disbelief is the last thing you were expecting. you feel embarrassed for a moment but lucky for you, eddie has a lot of patience and a hidden desire to take care of you.

🐇: Wow. I loved this so much. So sweet. So smutty. So dorky. So perfect. 10/10. Bestfriend!Eddie & friends to lovers have my whole heart.

It's About Time (one-shot) by @eddiethefreakkmunson

➢ Summary: You and your best friend Eddie decide it's time to lose your virginity to each other, after all who is a better choice than the person you love more than anyone else in the world?

🐇: This was so sweet! I have such a weak spot for these tropes! Not to mention that Eddie is so soft through all of this. 100% boyfriend material.

the freak pirate and the slut princess (one-shot) by @mypoisonedvine

➢ Summary: halloween is that special night where you can be anything you want to be... maybe more than the labels everyone else gives you. maybe even more than 'just friends'. (aka, reader has a reputation, eddie's still a virgin, filth ensues)

🐇: This fic lives in my head rent-free. My brain chemistry got rearranged. Get your dose of friends to lovers & virgin!Eddie here! You won't regret it.

I´ll Paint You Mornings Of Gold (one-shot) by @shamevillain

➢ Summary: You’re the most special thing Eddie has in his life, he just wants to make sure you know it.

🐇: Labyrinth aka my favorite movie, spaghetti as candles, Eddie being so in love and high on sugar... Perfection.

Only Lonely (one-shot) by @shamevillain

➢ Summary: Rumors about Eddie Munson have run rampant as long as you can remember. You’ve crossed paths only briefly, but maybe the notorious freak of Hawkins isn’t as bad as you’ve come to believe.

🐇: YOU HAVE TO READ THIS! I lost it a while ago and finding it again was like discovering the lost city of Atlantis for me! The smut rearranged my brain chemistry. I am foaming at the mouth, that how good it was. And Eddie was perfect! Goofy, hot, sweet... 10/10. Seriously. Read it.

—✨The one's that follow are solely Omegaverse—A/O/B one-shots. I have fallen down the Omegaverse – Rabbit Hole. Didn't see myself interested in this. Yet, here I am. Don't judge me. Seriously. I’ll block you.✨—

it happened one night in detention (one-shot) by @mypoisonedvine

➢ Summary: eddie's chances of being an alpha are quite small. your chances of presenting as an omega, especially while still in high school, are almost none. almost.

🐇: I guess it has to do with my size kink and the fact that I am the most submissive bottom you've ever seen, but this? ↑THIS↑ is my jam. // edit: I read the book Heat Haven by Sarah Blue after this on Kindle Unlimited, and yeah, I am still into this. So into this.

I Heard Your Voice and it Carries Me (one-shot) by @cha0ticspacebi

➢ Summary: Like 91% of the population, you were now and would always be a beta. Except when your roommate moves out suddenly and fate connects you with Alpha Eddie Munson. After that, things start to change.

🐇: Don't look at me 🫣! I already told you I fell down a rabbit hole! This was so cute & fluffy, and the well-developed worldbuilding in this one-shot is so good. Don't judge me!

little glass doves (one-shot) by @mysticmunson

➢ No Summary, so enjoy my attempt to describe it: Alpha!Eddie and Omega!Reader are already a couple and recently both presented. Their friends are keeping them now at distance since... Hormones, Ya know?

🐇: No smut, just hinting. But it's so cute.

between four walls (one-shot) by @mysticmunson

➢ Summary: when you disappear from school for a few days, eddie is a bit bewildered, until he has a sneaking suspicion.

🐇: I hope this author never stops feeding my alpha!eddie addiction. This is the spicy brother of “little glass doves.” Stunning.

To the writers of these fics:

You loved Eddie’s room, there was something so homey about it. Pictures and band posters covered almost every inch of his walls. Knick knacks and odd little trinkets scattered across his desk and cabinets along with magazines and various things that probably belong in the bin. Guitars and amps in every corner, maybe the only things in the room placed with care. Clothes lazily tossed on the carpet. It was messy sure but it was Eddie, a perfect picture of his mind. You lay on his bed with an old baseball you had plucked up from his bedside table, tossing it into the air and catching it. 

Eddie was your best friend, you had spent every Friday night for the last three years over at his trailer once Wayne had left for work. The two of you would smoke, order pizza and chill out with some crappy movie from Family Video. You had graduated first try while Eddie was repeating senior year for the third time but it never affected your friendship, if anything it made you hang out with each other more since you missed seeing each other all day every day. He stayed behind for Hellfire on Fridays which often ran late, you didn’t mind though, you knew how much this club meant to Eddie. You knew where the spare key was kept so you came to the agreement that you could just let yourself in and wait for him. 

Which is why you were here now, alone on his bed, trying to keep yourself entertained until his return. Your next throw was a little off, you almost tumbled off his bed as you stretched out to catch the ball and missed. It hit his bedside table and rolled underneath his bed. You groaned and shuffled yourself off the bed onto his floor. You felt around blindly knocking several things that weren’t ball shaped before giving up and sticking your head under to have a proper look. Your eyebrows raised in surprise and curiosity when you spied a stack of magazines and two or three videotapes, you immediately suspected they were porn, why else would they be hidden under his bed? You pulled out the first magazine and lo and behold you were right on the money. You smirked and started to flick through the pages, taking note of which ones seemed more crumpled than others. 

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t wondered what Eddie was into, you’d thought about it on multiple occasions. He might be one of your best friends but there was no denying that he was a very attractive boy. You had settled for friendship but you were certain that if he had ever tried to make a move you definitely would have let it happen. You looked through a few of the magazines but didn’t find anything too scandalous, they were pretty generic, just your average girly mags. You had always been under the impression that Eddie was into some kinky shit, sure he was a huge dork but there was something about his confidence that gave him an edge, and you were well aware of the handcuffs hanging from the wall beside his closet. You reached back further until you had hold of one of the tapes, you scoffed at the title ‘In Diana Jones and The Temple of Poon’.

“Jesus Christ Eddie,” you laughed as you stretched your arm to grab the other two. 

‘Erotic Nights of the Living Dead’ and a more normal looking one called ‘Insatiable’. You were so engrossed in reading the covers of the tapes you didn’t hear Eddie return until the trailer door slammed shut. You jumped at the noise and scrambled to shove the porn back under his bed but you weren’t quick enough. Eddie sauntered into his room and froze when he realised what you had in your lap. 

“Have you been snooping?” He asked, his hand over his heart in mock insult. 

His tone was teasing so you knew he wasn’t mad but part of you still felt guilty for invading his privacy. 

“Yes,” you admitted. “But it was an accident, the baseball rolled under the bed I swear.” 

“Mmhm,” he hummed, arms crossed over his chest disapprovingly, lips pressed into a thin line. 

“It’s like nothing ever happened,” you held your hands up once the last tape had been flung back under the bed. 

“I don’t care that you found my self care stash,” Eddie shrugged casually as you stood and followed him through to the front room, you pulled a face at the phrase. “But I fully expect to see yours next time I’m in your room, fair’s fair.” 

“I don’t have a stash,” your preferred choice of porn came in the form of erotic novels instead of tapes but he didn’t need to know that. 

“Sure you don’t,” he shot you an over-exaggerated wink to let you know he didn’t believe you and flopped himself down on the couch. 

You sat down on the opposite end and changed the subject, you asked him how Hellfire went and he launched into a whole story about the campaign. You weren’t really into DnD so a lot of the time you never fully understood what Eddie was talking about but you could listen to him talk about it for hours. You loved hearing the passion in his voice and you couldn’t get over how cute he looked when his eyes lit up with excitement the way they were doing right now. It was clear how much Eddie loved Hellfire so you loved that he wanted to share parts of it with you. You asked him about school, he asked you about work, you gossiped about a few people around town and laughed as you told each other stories. A while had passed before your stomach started to rumble and Eddie suggested ordering the pizza. 

“What movie did you get?” You asked as he walked over to the phone. 

“I didn’t get the movie, you were supposed to get the movie,” he said, you furrowed your eyebrows as you thought for a moment. 

“Nope, you definitely said you would call at Family Video on your way home from Hellfire,” you told him confidently. 

“Why would I say that when I was already running late?” 

“It was before you were running late.” 

“Well I guess we aren’t watching a movie then,” he shrugged, you could argue back and forth all night, he knew you were both too stubborn to admit fault so he may as well cut the bickering short. 

“I dunno we could always watch Erotic Nights of the Living Dead,” you joked. 

He spun around with raised eyebrows and stared at you. 

“Kidding,” you laughed only half telling the truth. 

He scoffed and picked up the phone to order the pizza. You smoked while you waited for the food to arrive and then flicked through the channels on the tv, you had to settle for cartoons while you ate as nothing else appealed to either of you. Once you had both finished eating you cycled through the channels one more time and still found nothing. 

“It’s Friday night!” You complained. “How is there not a single good thing on TV?” 

Eddie stretched and blew a raspberry with his lips as he stared blankly at the soap opera currently on screen. 

“I mean, we actually could watch the zombie porn?” You suggested. 

“Are you serious?” He laughed with a hint of nervousness. 

“Yeah,” you shrugged like it was no big deal. “I’m kinda curious, is it good?” 

“No,” he laughed properly this time. “It’s fucking terrible.” 

“Then why do you have it?” You questioned. 

“Dunno? Also out of curiosity I guess?” He wasn’t lying, he loved horror movies so the title piqued his interest but it was probably the worst porno he’d ever watched, he didn’t even bother sticking it out to the end. 

“Okay so we could watch one of the other ones then?” You countered. 

“You really wanna watch porn together?” He couldn’t believe you were actually suggesting this, sure you guys were pretty close but you never discussed sex. 

He didn’t have much to discuss, he was a virgin, the only stories he would have to tell you were of him and his own right hand. He knew that you weren’t a virgin but he was glad you never told him about your experiences, they would only make him jealous. He had thought about asking you out before but you seemed pretty content being his friend. 

“It doesn’t have to be that big of a deal?” You shrugged again. 

You didn’t even know why you were pushing this, you had been curious about the tapes but they weren’t worth making things weird between you and Eddie. Maybe you were just more stubborn than you liked to admit, you had committed to the idea now and you weren’t turning back unless he was completely against it. Eddie was staring at you with his big chocolate eyes open wide and his jaw slack with shock. 

“Alright fuck it,” he matched your shrug as he hauled himself up from the couch and made his way back to his room.

Your stomach flipped with a mixture of excitement and nerves as you waited alone on the couch. He came back waving his copy of Insatiable and you bit your lip. He’d chosen the one that looked like actual porn without a funny plot you could laugh your way through if it did feel awkward. You played with your fingers in your lap while he crouched down in front of the VCR and got the tape set up. He pressed play and flopped down next to you, shuffling around to get comfy on the sofa. You didn’t miss that he had picked up one of the cushions and placed it over his lap, the thought of Eddie sitting right next to you with a raging boner had you clenching your legs together. 

The film opened with a scene of a woman masturbating, you kept your gaze locked on the screen but you could see Eddie’s knee start bouncing with nervous energy out the corner of your eye. You had been watching for all of two minutes and the energy in the trailer had already turned electric. Eddie was watching you more than he was watching the TV, he focused on the subtle changes in your facial expressions, the way your mouth formed a soft oh as you watched the woman pumping her perfectly manicured fingers in and out of her pussy. He took note of the way your chest was rising and falling a little faster, the way your hips were shifting ever so slightly. This was turning you on. Which in turn made Eddie’s cock strain even more painfully against his zipper than it already would have done. 

The scene had now switched to two women eating each other out. Eddie was in hell. He was desperate to undo his jeans just to give himself a tiny bit of relief. Your expression had changed to one he couldn’t quite read, you still looked like you were into it but your brows were knitted together in a slight frown. 

“You okay?” Eddie choked, immediately embarrassed by how raspy his voice sounded. 

“Uh huh,” you nodded, still not taking your eyes off the tv. “I was just wondering what it felt like, you know, guys don’t actually like doing that.”

“What?” Eddie asked incredulously. “No one’s ever gone down on you?” 

“Nope,” you sighed, you hadn’t slept with many people but of the ones you had you didn’t have much luck, they were all pretty selfish lovers. “I suggested it a few times but none of them were into it.”

“Pussies,” Eddie scoffed. 

“Do you do it?” You questioned, your voice had risen in pitch as the image of his messy curls buried between your legs flashed through your mind. 

Shit. He walked himself right into that one. Eddie would love to eat pussy, he’d just never been given the chance. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he tried to think of a quick response. 

“Eddie? Are you okay?” You asked at his silence. 

“Yep, yep, I just uh-“ he huffed a laugh nervously. “I’ve never done it either, I’ve never done anything actually.”

“What?” Your attention was completely off the film now as you turned your entire body in your seat to face Eddie. “You’re still a virgin?” 

Eddie felt his face flaming with embarrassment at your words. He knew this whole thing was a fucking stupid idea. 

“Not by choice,” he snapped, a little hurt when he misread your shock for you poking fun at him. 

“No no no, I didn’t mean it as a bad thing, not at all,” you assured him scooting closer to him so you could place a comforting hand on his forearm, he tightened his grip on the cushion still hiding his erection. “I’m just surprised because, well - have you seen you?” 

Eddie raised his eyebrows and wondered what you meant by that. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re hot,” you stated plainly. 

“You’ve been out in public with me,” he laughed. “Girls actively move out of the way to avoid me.”

They did, you had seen it and you hated it. It had nothing to do with his looks though, it was the false “devil worshipping” rumours that had spread around like wildfire. You couldn’t believe you still lived in a town where 90% of the population were complete morons. 

“Doesn’t mean you’re not hot.”

“Okay,” he scoffed. “Even so, no one is lining up to fuck the town freak.” 

“Don’t,” you told him sternly, you had made it a habit to chastise him anytime he referred to himself by the title he’d been unfairly burdened with. “Don’t call yourself that.” 

He gave you a sad smile and placed his hand over yours, giving your fingers a grateful squeeze. You sat in silence for a few moments, the only sounds echoing through the trailer were the moans coming from the tv. It was very distracting during what was supposed to be a tender moment and you couldn’t help bursting into a fit of laughter, only making it worse when you chanced a look at the screen to see the main woman now giving a blow job to what looked like a delivery man. Eddie joined you in your laughter at the ridiculous situation you had ended up in until you were clutching your stomach for air. You leaned forward and rested your forehead on his shoulder as your laughs died down to soft giggles, his shaky shoulder jostling your head every now and again. 

“I wonder what it feels like too,” he blurted out suddenly. 

You lifted your head to look at him in question, he jutted his chin towards the screen where the woman was currently gagging on the man’s cock. 

“Oh,” you breathed, your mind racing as you saw the opportunity to finally make your move. 

Little did you know Eddie’s head was in exactly the same place. The amount of times he’d dreamed of even just kissing you, he’d never felt like he had the chance to explore his feelings for you deeper but weirdly enough this bizarre idea you had created the perfect opening. He sucked in a shaky breath and prepared to shoot his shot. 

“Here’s a crazy idea,” he started. “Just tell me to shut up if I’m getting the wrong vibe here.”

Your insides fluttered as you realised he was about to suggest exactly the same thing you were. 

“We both wanna know what it feels like,” you finished for him. “We could help each other out.” 

“You don’t have to-“ he stuttered before he started rambling. “I mean I really wanna eat you out, if you’ll let me, but I don’t expect you to suck my dick if you don’t wa-“

“Of course I want to you beautiful idiot,” you cut him off placing a hand over his mouth to make him stop talking, you felt him smile against your palm. 

You removed your hand and shuffled even closer until you were almost sat in his lap, he turned his body slightly so he was facing you head on. 

“Do you wanna kiss first?” He asked hesitantly. 

God. He thought scolding himself. Why do you sound so awkward you’ve wanted this for years. 

“Of course,” you giggled like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “C’mere.” 

You placed your palms on either side of his face and pulled him towards your lips. It was slow and gentle at first, curious as you got a feel for one another. His lips were warm and soft, just as you’d always imagined them. The kiss deepened when you felt him tease your lower lip with the tip of his tongue, you granted him access, the wet muscle with your own. His hands which had at first been twisting in his lap awkwardly found purchase on your thighs, squeezing the doughy flesh there, you grinned against his lips when he released a soft sigh of content. He pulled back ever so slightly to give you both the chance to breathe a little, staying close enough for the tips of your noses to still be brushing. 

“Does it feel weird?” He asked, his hot breath fanning delicately over your skin. 

“Yes,” you nodded with another giggle. 

“You wanna stop?” He asked a little dejected, not expecting your answer, to him kissing you felt like the most natural thing in the world. 

“Fuck no,” you dived straight back in for his lips, smothering him with a fierce kiss that had him inhaling a sharp moan, the sound sent butterflies straight to your stomach. 

You took your time lazily tasting one another, your hands ended up tangled in his messy locks, nails digging into his scalp which only spurred on his intensity. He still had the cushion covering his lap which was the only thing stopping you from straddling him and grinding against what you knew he was trying to conceal. Not that it mattered now, you’d be more disappointed if he wasn’t hard at this point. A loud, guttural moan from the tv tore your attention away from one another, you looked to see the woman on screen now being fucked over a snooker table by two guys at once. 

“Can we turn this shit off now?” Eddie asked breathlessly. 

“Oh yeah,” you agreed, sliding from the sofa. 

You fiddled with the button on the VCR until the screen went black. You stood and turned around gasping when you bumped into Eddie who’d walked right up behind you. 

“Sorry,” he laughed softly, taking you by the elbows and chasing your lips with his again. 

It was so gentle it made you light headed, when he took a step forward and you felt his very prominent erection digging into your lower stomach you whimpered into his mouth. He was desperate to make you make that sound again. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against yours, never breaking the contact he walked you backwards towards his bedroom. 

The back of your knees hit the edge of his bed and you squealed as you fell backwards. He attached his mouth to your jaw, following your movements as you shuffled to lay back against his pillows. He gripped your chin and tilted your head back, lazily sucking a messy trail down your throat and across your collarbones. He rocked his hips into yours and you both gasped at the delicious friction. 

“You first okay?” He mumbled against your skin as he sucked a bruise onto the tender skin just below your ear. “S’probably gonna be over pretty quickly for me.” 

He laughed but you could hear the insecurity in his tone. You stroked his face and placed a peck against his temple. 

“You know that’s okay right?” You assured him. “It’s actually kinda sexy.” 

He pulled a face that said you were full of shit. 

“I’m serious!” You promised. “Knowing that I made you feel so good that you just couldn’t hold back, hotter than most guys think.” 

“If you say so,” he smiled, thinking you were just trying to make him feel better.

He pushed your shirt up to pepper kisses across the soft expanse of your stomach, licking the spot just above the button of your jeans. His fingers fumbled with the button and he worked to remove them, feeling a sudden rush of timidity you covered his hands with your own. 

“Can we like, undress together?” You asked. “At the same time?” 

“Sure, yeah sure,” he nodded, leaning back on his heels. 

His shirt was the first to go. Then yours. Next was his jeans, the clinking of his belt buckle made your mouth go dry, his cock sprang forward as he pushed the denim down over his ass, your eyes widened at the sizable tent in his blue boxers, a darker spot visible that was wet with his precum. 

“Your turn,” he laughed snapping you out of your trance, you had been staring. 

“Yeah,” you nodded, pushing your own jeans down over your legs. 

Once you had tossed them to the carpet beside you he wasted no time kissing you senseless, pushing you back against his mattress. This was a whole different feeling, his warm, soft skin pressed against yours. The outline of his dick so much more apparent now there was only the two thin layers of your underwear separating you. You whined and swallowed each others moans as you got lost in the tangled limbs of the other. He palmed your breast over the cup of your bra before pulling back a panting, desperate mess. 

“Can I take this off?” He pleaded pulling at the strap. 

You arched your back and reached behind you to undo the clasp quickly. You ripped it down your arms and tossed it to the floor along with the rest of your clothes. Eddie stared down in awe at your bare chest, he had pictured what you looked like naked countless times but none of them compared to the real thing. You were fucking perfect. 

“Eds?” You asked, feeling shy under his intense gaze. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he muttered, eyes still trained on your chest. 

If he was this hypnotised by your tits what would he be like when his face was buried in your pussy. He rested his palms on either side of your waist, brushing his hands upwards over the delicate skin of your ribs before cupping a breast in each hand. He leaned down for more kisses as he kneaded and pinched your sensitive nipples. He moaned softly into your mouth and it made a deep ache settle between your legs. 

“Eddie please,” you whispered with a roll of your hips. 

He grunted at the friction against his leaking cock, his name had never sounded so beautiful leaving your lips. He kissed his way quickly down the valley between your breasts and along your soft stomach before he inched back on the bed, his face now level with your clothed cunt. 

“Oh fuck,” he sighed as he eyed the big wet patch that had soaked through the material of your cotton panties. “Did I make you this wet or were you just really enjoying the film?” 

You leaned up on your elbows and smiled down at him, whether he was joking or not he really had no idea the effect he had on you. 

“You,” your heart skipped at the flash of pride that crossed his face. “All you.” 

He took a minute to run his middle finger up and down the wet patch, your hips shifting of their own accord every time he bumped over your clit. You soon became impatient and lifted your hips to rid yourself of your panties, Eddie’s fingers met yours as he reached to pull them the rest of the way down your legs. His cock twitched in his boxers when he laid his eyes on your bare pussy for the first time. He gawked in awe at the pretty pink folds swollen and glistening with your arousal, he was almost drooling when he snapped himself out of his trance once again. 

“Promise if it’s bad you’ll stop me?” His voice laced with self doubt, his fingers tracing lazy patterns across the skin on your thighs. 

“I won’t stop you,” you reached down to stroke under his chin forcing him to look up at you. “I’ll guide you, forget everything about that film and just do what feels natural.” 

“‘Kay,” he nodded, he tipped his chin to press a thankful peck against the palm of your hand. “Ready?” 

“Mmhmm,” your sigh comes out trembling from the anticipation as you lay back against the pillows. 

He slid his arms beneath your thighs so your legs were over his shoulders where he lay. The first touch was experimental, a quick swipe of his tongue across your clit but it made you whimper still. His eyes fluttered shut as he explored you, flicking and suckling as his confidence built from your reactions. Your hands flew down to tangle in his hair when he shook his head back and forth between your legs, the soft curls tickling the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs. He moaned into you as your nails raked across his scalp and the vibrations caused you to gasp and buck your hips into him. 

“Fuck, holy fuck,” he pulled away panting, his chin shiny with your slick. “You taste so fucking good.” 

He pressed his thumb against your clit, fumbling through a couple of misses at first until you threw your head back against his pillow and whined. He focused on the spot that had caused you to make that noise and rubbed small fast circles, your hips wiggled against his touch until he replaced his thumb with his lips and sucked hard. He ran his middle and ring fingers along your slit, gathering your wetness before plunging the digits inside you. You winced a little as his movements started as harsh jabbing motions and he immediately noticed your discomfort. 

“Like this,” you showed him how to curl his fingers in a come hither motion. 

He was a fast learner, once he was using his fingers the way you had shown him it didn’t take long for him to find your g-spot. His tongue lapped at your clit as he carried on working his fingers inside of you, your back arched off the bed as you felt the heat of your impending orgasm build faster and faster. Eddie could tell you were close, the way you were grinding yourself against his face had him thrusting his own hips against his mattress. If you didn’t finish soon he was probably going to cum in his pants and then he really would want the ground to swallow him up. 

“Eddie,” you whimpered as your grip on his locks tightened. “Eddie, feels so good.”

He growled into you when you said his name, it was one of the best fucking sounds you had ever heard in your life. A few more flicks of his tongue and a stroke against your spot and the dam broke. You cried out as your hips writhed against his face, Eddie tightened the grip he had on one of your thighs to hold you down to him. He didn’t relax his strokes until you were a trembling, mewling mess, weakly pulling at his hair as you became overstimulated. 

“Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.” 

You were whimpering his name, he pulled his lips away and gazed up at you with glassy, lust blown eyes. He had a proud smirk pulling at his lips, his fingers still moving inside of you lazily. He grinned when he pulled them out of you and examined the slick coating the digits. 

“Was I okay?” He asked you with a cheeky grin, his earlier doubt well and truly washed away, he felt the intensity at which you clenched around his fingers when you came. 

“Very, very, very much okay,” you laughed breathlessly. “More than okay Eds you’re fucking amazing.”

He laughed with you, a slight blush tinting his cheeks at your praise. He shifted to his knees and groaned at the ache in his cock, the tiny movement alone almost pushing him to the edge. Fuck he thought. Your eyes widened as you looked at the precum stain on his boxer which has almost tripled in size since before he went down on you. You rose to your knees and crawled towards him. You pulled his face towards you for a searing kiss, your tongue gliding against his own so you could get a taste of yourself. You reached down ever so lightly to run your fingers up his cock from base to tip. He whined into your mouth and bucked forward. 

“Fuck, fuck don’t do that, sorry” he panted. “‘M so close already and you haven’t even touched me.”

The desperation in his voice was making you melt. You gave him a peck on the tip of his nose and encouraged him to lie back where you had been against the pillows. You pulled his boxers over his hips and watched as his cock sprang free slapping against his stomach. Holy. Fucking. Shit. You couldn’t help the way your jaw hung open as you stared at his full length. You had thought it was cute but funny the way he had been staring at you earlier but you were certainly mimicking his expression right now. You had never thought that a dick looked pretty before but christ Eddie was fucking beautiful. 

You had an idea that he was big from when he was grinding against you but actually seeing him was a whole other thing. You shouldn’t have been surprised, everything else about Eddie was so goddamn perfect why wouldn’t his dick be too. The shaft was long and velvety, a few delicate veins showed faintly beneath the skin, the bulb of his sticky, red tip blotted with precum that leaked just below his navel. He was starting to get nervous again the longer you didn’t speak. He hugged his arms to himself praying for you to just make a move, any move. 

“What?” He muttered so quietly. “It’s not weird or anything is it?” 

His voice brought you back to reality and you looked up at his blotchy cheeks, wide brown orbs full of worry and you were overcome with the need to kiss him again. You launched forward and attacked his lips with your own, swallowing his gasp of surprise. 

“No,” you said in between kisses. “Not weird - just so - fucking pretty.” 

You feel the stiff press of his erection against your ass as you continue to make out with him, the leaking tip smearing wet streaks across your skin as he bucked against you. 

“Please - sweetheart,” he croaked against your lips. “Begging you.” 

You showed him mercy and pulled away from his lips, open mouthed kisses now trailing down his chest and abdomen until you reached his painfully swollen cock. You decided not to tease him any longer, you didn’t think he’d be able to take it. 

“Fuuuuuuuck,” Eddie cried, the palms digging into his eye sockets as you wrapped your lips around the tip of his dick, your hand jerking the silky smooth base. “Fu- baby, feels so goo- gonna make me cum.”

The way he was choking on his words was adorable. You open your throat and bob your head within a centimetre of your gag reflex. Up and down, up and down your lips become a mess of precum and spit, his hips jarring upward to drive himself deeper into your mouth. You feel his thighs shiver beneath where your forearms are resting, he’s so close you can tell. You cup his sack gently with your free hand and take him to the back of your throat with a quiet gag. Eddie’s orgasm rushed over him so violently he didn’t have a chance to pull you away. 

You choke a little as a thick, hot spurts of his cum paint the back of your throat. You compose yourself and swallow him down, allowing the rest to rope across your tongue. Eddie whimpers incoherently while he combs his fingers through your hair, his hips still rocking as he humped your face through his release. You breathed harshly through your nose as you focused on taking him all down. He shudders as you give him a squeeze to lap up the remainder of cum before you release him with a pop, the back of your hand wiping the drool from the corners of your lips. His feeling of bliss quickly turns to humiliation as he realised all of that can’t have lasted more than 2 minutes. He threw his arms across his eyes, terrified of looking down at you and seeing disappointment. 

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” he mumbled. “Fuck - Couldn’t hold it back, you just felt so good.”

Oh Eddie. Sweet Eddie. 

“It’s okay, hey it’s okay,” you whispered against his skin as you kissed your way up his body. 

You peppered your lips over every inch of his forearms in an attempt to coax them away from his face. When that wasn’t working you slipped your hands into his own and yanked them away, your forehead falling forward to press against his. 

“It’s okay,” you assured him softly.

He leaned into your touch, his fingers intertwining with your own. 

“Thank you,” he simply said. “Not just for making me feel better but for even agreeing to this.” 

“Eddie, you seriously think I wouldn’t want this?” 

His brows knit together with an anxious look that said yes, he absolutely thought there was a chance you’d say no to this. 

“Well, put it this way,” you placed his hands on your hips while you reached yours up to cup his face. “If you want to give me your virginity, you know fully, I’d be more than honoured to take it.” 

“Are you serious?” He chuckled breathlessly in joyful disbelief when you nodded with a grin. “When?” 

“Whenever you want,” you laughed at his eagerness. “I know you already have condoms in that draw.” 

“Oh so you do snoop,” he accused playfully, tightening his grip on your hips to flip your positions. 

“Sometimes,” you admitted sheepishly. 

PART 7

The sound of a bird chirping caught your ear as you slowly gained your senses back, a soft whine staying in your throat as you rustled slightly in your place. There was so much warmth, making you sigh in complete happiness, as the body next to you held you even closer, his soft snores hitting the top of your head, the smell of his cologne that still lingered–

Body holding you close?

Your eyes snapped open like plates, being met with a bare chest in front of you as it slowly raised up and then back down, tattoos splattered on his skin, tattoos you recognized now. Your heart picked up a pace as you slowly, without moving too much, pulled your head off his chest to finally look up. Your breath was caught in your throat, a squeal wanting to come out as you saw Eddie’s sleeping face, his hair all over the pillow.

Your mouth fell open as you moved your legs slightly, feeling the soreness that now resides in between them. You needed to move away from him because you had to collect yourself. You had to think. You had to process whatever happened yesterday and you were beginning to breathe heavily and you really didn’t want to wake him up, not yet. 

You closed your mouth, trying to hold your breaths in as much as you could as you slowly started to wiggle out of his grasp, earning a scrunch of his nose and a groan. You tensed up when you moved, but he rolled off you in his sleep, laying on the other side of the bed with a soft sigh. You held your hand to your chest, feeling it almost ripping out from it with every thump. Your belly was turning, almost painfully as you raised yourself from his arm that was wrapped around you seconds ago, and probably was numb from being under your body the whole night.

You stared at his bare chest, your blankets covering until they met on his hips, and that’s when you realized you were stark naked, looking down at your body that– Oh god… You had hickies. You almost squealed but you threw a hand over your mouth, holding the noise in. You really had to go and collect yourself, because you needed to go through the events from yesterday and try to calm yourself before he wakes up because you two would definitely have a talk.

And that was the problem, about what?

You slowly took the blankets off your legs and swung them to the side, and you winced slightly at the soreness on your inner thighs. It’s been way too long since you… Since you had sex. Shit, you had sex. You slept with Eddie, your friend Eddie. Just because of a split second of horniness. You stood up before you screamed and looked around to find something that didn’t require you to open your closet in order to not make any noise.

You gulped as you grabbed onto your white cotton panties that you had taken out yesterday but decided on the black set. Where’s the bra? You can’t find it, and the only things you have are the black dress from yesterday, which is a no, a pair of gym shorts that you use for bed, and an oversized white shirt. Those two will have to do, at least for now, so you could run away from the room as soon as possible.

You grabbed onto the garments and threw them on carefully in order to not stumble and trip and probably make a fool out of yourself in front of the guy you slept with a few hours ago. You felt your face burn at that while you pulled the shirt over your head and your breathing was coming out in heavy amounts from your mouth and you quickly tiptoed out of the room, and closed the door behind you making as little noise as possible.

You let the breath that was in your lungs finally leave your body as you stepped away from your door as if it were on fire. Okay, you were alone now, Eddie is naked in your room, in your bed, because you two slept together yesterday night. Your hands ran over your face and pulled your hair back, gripping your scalp tightly, feeling your intestines just twisting all about, heart in your throat and the flow of your blood very loud in your ears. 

You started pacing back and forth, taking deep breaths as you started to think. What did this all mean? You acted out of instinct, out of urges. What were you? An animal? But Eddie didn’t seem to mind, he actually went in for more with you, didn’t he? You made all the moves of course, which you still don’t know how or why you did that, but you did and he followed. 

But what now? What is going to happen now? You crossed the line, this isn’t just a friendship anymore, friends don’t fuck eachother, at least, not your normal type of friendships don’t. How are you going to explain yourself? What if he asks why you did what you did yesterday? What are you going to tell him? ‘Hey, I realized that I am heavily attracted to you.’

Sure, that is true, but what would that mean between the two of you? What are his feelings about this and… how did he feel yesterday? Were you enough? Were you good? He seemed to enjoy himself, but you didn’t really do much, so did he like it? Did he really want to do that with you? 

“Fuck…” You were biting on your thumb’s skin next to your fingernail again. You really don’t know what is going on, you really have no idea how to move from this. This is the first time you actually felt good while having sex, and you really never in your life experienced what he did to you yesterday. Your eyes widened as you stood in place, eyes widening as another curse left your lips.

The burning in your belly was back.

How was this not enough? You went all the way with him, with a man you are actually attracted to, so why are you still yearning for more? It made no sense, and how your body reacts to the memory of him in between your legs is absolutely ridiculous. You looked at the door once, licking your bottom lip as your mind became slightly hazy again.

Maybe you can act normally? Just, go back into his arms in bed, see where that takes you, see him as he wakes up and smiles at you, and you two would probably talk about the fries from yesterday night and how you didn’t get actual dinner. He would ask for some pancakes again, and then you would gladly make them.

He would like that right? Waking up with breakfast? You can do that, just normally, like the other day you were at his home. Everything was normal after that, and everything can be normal after last night. You can do this. It’s going to be completely fine, you just don’t have to think too much about it, and maybe he won’t either. You took a deep breath in and walked towards your kitchen to start on preparing some coffee and then start grabbing the ingredients for your chocolate chip pancakes. 

You were taking deep breaths, trying to concentrate on your cooking. Eggs, milk, flour, chocolate chips in. You froze. You put the chocolate chips into the batter. Just how he likes it. Stop thinking. Stop thinking. Stop thinking. Your guts turned again as you kept stirring the batter, over and over again, the gears in your head making you dizzy as the thoughts started reappearing again.

He is going to wake up soon, what are you going to say? Act normal, that’s what you settled on, but now you don’t remember what normal is. How is normal after this? What is normal about any of this? It’s not. It’s definitely not normal to sleep with your friend. Are you going to keep being friends? Oh, what if he doesn't even want to be friends? How are you going to be able to handle that?

The smell of coffee snapped you out again and you looked down at the batter, letting a breath come out of your lips to finally put the pan on the stove. You grabbed onto one of your plates as you started cooking the pancakes, trying to just focus on making them the perfect shape, cooking them just right, letting the air be filled with the sweet smell–

“Shit darling, that smells good.” 

You froze on your fourth pancake, with the spatula underneath it about to turn it over. Your heart was in your throat now, maybe your ears, you didn’t know, but there was a sharp noise ringing in your eardrums, blocking any sounds coming from around you, including Eddie’s steps that were being taken towards you. 

He was now behind you, you could feel his presence on your back, your chest heaving up and down as you stared down, not noticing that the pancake was starting to burn already. You couldn’t move, you didn’t want to look at him, you didn’t know what to say, how to act, how to move, and your body simply grew into a cold sweat, your hand trembling with the utensil still in your grasp.

Eddie has actually been awake the moment you made him roll over in the bed. He kept his eyes closed because his heart was in his throat, and he knew he had to give you time. He knew he had to leave you alone to gather your thoughts on what happened, and he couldn’t simply dive in and envelop you again, even if that was what he wanted the most. Once you were out of the room, he sat up too quickly and ran his hands through his hair as his eyes stared widely on the comforters of the bed.

He slept with you. The thing he didn’t believe to happen at all, happened, which was you showing him what you wanted to do with him. You had the guts that he didn’t have. You made the first moves, all of them, and his mind and self control completely shut off last night, but so did yours. He felt his south area beginning to harden again as he remembered last night, your body, your taste, and he didn’t even do head. He almost never did, but he was desperate for you last night, and he still is. 

When you started losing yourself to your lust against him, he really thought he had gone to heaven at that very moment. He could have died a happy man yesterday after what happened, but then he wouldn’t get more. He wouldn’t be able to taste you again, to feel you again, to hold you again, and he wanted to, crazily so. He wasn’t going to let this be a one time thing, and he needed to tell you just that, but he knew you were processing yourself right now, after all, it was the first time you had acted out of impulse to your urges.

He held back a grin as he bit his bottom lip, dropping his hands on the bed. You let go with him, which meant, hopefully, that you reciprocated what he was feeling. You weren’t a friend, not anymore. He didn’t want you to be. He actually had decided, selfishly so, to not be your friend any longer almost a month ago. It had hit him like a train really, not even thinking that you would crawl under his skin the way you did, but the more time he spent with you, the more time you two talked about each other, and to be even interested in one another’s life stories, he knew he was a goner.

His head snapped towards the door as he heard you pacing around the living room and his gut turned with nervousness as his fingers trembled with the need of going and console you, to tell you what he was feeling, to tell you that everything is just fine, and he wishes he could tell you that everything is okay and that nothing changes… But he can no longer say that. There was no way he was letting you go this time, he wasn’t going to pretend to be normal, he wasn’t going to pretend like you didn’t kiss him fucking stupid last night, he wasn’t going to pretend like he didn’t have the best night of his life just a few hours ago.

Minutes later, his nose caught the smell of coffee, and then a sweet smell. Pancakes. You were making him pancakes. He smiled widely at that, because despite you probably having a breakdown, or being nervous right now, you still decided to make breakfast for him. He took a deep breath in, getting up from the bed to throw on his boxers and pants, looking over at his shirt. If he dresses himself, fully, he was afraid of you thinking that everything was done with, and it was anything but. Shirtless it is. 

So now, he stands behind you, noticing how stiff you got, and the smell of burnt pancake filled his nostrils. His hand raised up to slowly graze over your wrist that was holding the spatula, and you almost jumped at the touch, but he held onto your wrist instantly, pulling it up so that the pancake would lift from the pan and throwing it on the plate next to the stove. He could almost hear your breathing from how hard it was, and truly, he was holding his own back in order to not make you any more nervous. 

His eyes then darted towards the bowl with batter in it, and he almost looked away when he noticed you had put the chocolate chips inside it this time, instead of sprinkling them on top of the pancake while it was cooking. The corner of his lip turned upwards at the gesture, and his chest puffed up with pride and with hope but for now, he had to snap you back into reality, because you were still frozen in his hold.

“Angel… It’s just me.” Those three words that always seemed to calm you for some reason, those three words that simply made all your nerves go away, even if little. Knowing it was just Eddie, knowing he wasn’t there to judge you, or criticize you, or call you out, but just be there for you, with you. You took a big gulp while you gripped onto the spatula even harder. 

“I–” No words were coming out. There was no way you could talk at this moment, because you actually didn’t know what to say, where to start, or how to even begin to describe what you were feeling or what you were thinking, but it seems you didn’t have to think too hard, because he was already blabbering, getting hold of the bowl with some batter left.

“See? It’s less messier when you already put the chocolate chips in.” You blink dumbly at his words, looking at the bowl. He tipped some in the pan, and his tongue stuck out from the corner of his mouth as he stuck his finger in the batter and dragged more chocolate chips into that specific pancake. That actually made you snap out.

“Don’t touch the batter with your fingers!” You exclaim at him as you wiggle the pan a bit to get all the edges with the mix. You heard him chuckle next to you as he set the bowl down.

“It needed more chocolate chips! That’s mine by the way.” He said pointing at the pancake that was already cooking and it was more chocolate than the mix. You rolled your eyes at his childishness. He stuck his finger inside his mouth, licking the batter off it.

“More chocolate chips next time, got it.” You said almost in a groan but he didn’t miss the ‘next time’ part. His mind went places. Waking up with you next to him, cuddling until midday, both of you not getting out of bed even if you needed to pee and only till your bellies grumbled that you two would get up to go make some pancakes together, laughter filling the kitchen as he shoves way too many chocolate chips in the mix and you yell at him for being too reckless. 

“I’m feeling fancy for next time, maybe add some blueberries in it? Or, hear me out… marshmallows.” He says and you cringed at the sweetness of it all, but also a small giggle came out of your throat as you flipped the pancake on the pan. 

“That’s a s'mores pancake… You can literally just have S’mores.” You say and you hear him chuckle next to you, as he walks towards the coffee pot, and sees that you had already prepared two empty cups to pour the liquid in. He filled his cup in black coffee, but yours only half. He walked towards your fridge to get your vanilla creamer out, and finally filled the rest of your coffee with it. You didn’t miss the gesture, a strong heat invading your belly and cheeks. 

“It’s not the same! The S’mores have biscuits. Pancakes are fluffier, imagine how much fluffier they would be with marshmallows inside. Honestly, I think we’re onto something here sweetheart.” You flip the pancake onto the stack you had next to the stove and turn it off because you believed five pancakes were fine for the two of you. “Or maybe we can add some mint in them.”

That made your mouth drop open, your head snapping to your side to look at him with widened and disgusted eyes, but you froze again when you saw him. The back of his hip was resting on the counter as he looked at you with a smile to his face, one hand holding a mug, the other was handing you yours. You didn’t realize that you were talking normally to him until now. How did Eddie do it? Every single time? 

“T-Thanks…” You say as you look down from his eyes but it was a bad idea. He was shirtless. Oh, the fucking flashbacks. Your whole body heated up at the memories of your nails going all over his skin, all over his chest, all over his arms. You took a large gulp out of your coffee and you clenched your eyes at the taste. It was the perfect measurement. 

“I had to bring your despise for mint for you to look at me.” He lets out with a small chuckle, taking a sip of his own coffee. You blinked down at your cup, not really knowing where to go from here. Should you apologize? Should you tell him that he should forget about it? But why would you say something so hypocritical when you didn’t want to forget about it? 

“I– I– just don’t know–” You tried to say out loud but your throat went dry at those few words, making you take more sips out of your mug, and he sighed, taking one last sip of his, putting his cup on the counter. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking Angel. I need to know what you’re thinking.” And how do you even begin? You don’t even know what you feel, you don’t even know if it was right, if it was wrong, but the only thing you knew, is that you desired Eddie, that you were attracted to him in ways that not even god could define. But you won’t tell him that, because that’s when you would crawl into a hole and disappear from the world.

“I– I really don’t know– Yesterday… I never–” You blabbered, stuttered, and he was being patient as he looked at you, hands trembling with the cup in between them. He felt his chest about to explode but he still waited, wanting to hear you, to understand you, but he knew your mind was just a jumbled mess, he can hear it in the tremble on your voice and in the way your eyes were going back and forth as if looking for an answer somewhere.

He raised his hand up to place it on the cheek that was not facing him, and you immediately froze again. He leaned down and forward to press a soft kiss on the cheek facing him this time, and your body felt like it melted away, your bones going all soft and wiggly on you, a sigh escaping your lips at the touch of his lips on your skin. For some reason, this gesture made some of the black clouds move away from your mind, leaving some space for clarity, for you to slowly turn your head to face him again as he pulled away from you, his thumb caressing your cheek in gentle circles.

“Do you regret it? Because let me tell you darling, I sure as hell don’t.” Even if your heart wanted to burst into a million pieces from how hard it was beating, your eyes still widened at his words, surprise taking all over your features.

“Y-You don’t?” You asked with a hint of confusion in your tone as well. He licked his lips as his throat closed up on him, but he gulped it down so that he could keep talking. You were just too beautiful right now, looking up at him with those eyes that he adored. 

“I did mean what I said yesterday.” He says and you tilt your head at that, trying to remember everything that was said at the bar, or when you walked your way to it with him, and he smiled at you, pulling his hand off your face, grabbing the mug out of your hands and placing it on the counter next to his. Your eyebrows knitted together at that, looking at the cup leaving your grasp.

“Why—” You began to ask, but when you looked back up at him, your mouth immediately closed, seeing the serious face he had on. It made your heart jump slightly as well as your stomach, not knowing how his smile turned into this serious look. His hand raised to pinch on the side of your shirt with his fingers and tugged you in front of him, almost making you stumble at the sudden jerk. He then pressed that same hand on your waist, firmly, while the other raised up to gently hold your cheek to make you look up at him.

“You have no idea for how long I’ve wanted last night to happen.” He says while looking down at you, his eyes searching for yours as a gasp was caught in your throat, your body heating up at his words and your head was about to look down, but he held you in place, shaking his head at you. “No, keep looking at me.” 

“B-But I didn’t do— I didn’t do anything—” He shook his head again, your eyes trying to avoid his as you talked, now your chest thumping wildly, blood pumping everywhere in your body at a very accelerated pace, and you didn’t notice how your voice was trembling and how you were slowly beginning to shake in his grasp.

“I need you to calm down baby… It’s really just me.” He gave small circles on your cheek, which made your eyes look back at him, your mind going blank. He wanted last night to happen? He wanted to sleep with you? Many questions were going through your mind but only one was voiced out.

“We had sex.” His eyebrows raised up in surprise, a smile appearing on his lips, dimples showing off, but you were still completely bewildered as you blinked at him, your mind just trying to work overtime now for you. “You-You saw me naked, I saw you naked—” 

“Pretty necessary for having sex Angel.” He says with a laugh this time, and that only made your brain simply burn off, steam coming off the top of your head. You gulped as his laughter slowly tuned down, the turning in your belly and the doubt in your mind now cooperating to formulate another question.

“Why— Why with me?” You managed to ask, and that made Eddie’s laugh completely turn off, only for you to continue. “I-I’m just… not—” And he knew who you were comparing yourself to. The clients in the club stood no chance against you, they really didn’t, but you didn’t believe that. He weighed his options, and he decided it would be better to show you.

“You’re not what?” His hand left your cheek to mimic his other one, pressing on your waist, now firmer than before, and he pulled your body flush into his, and your eyes widened up at him. He leaned down close to your ear, his breath hitting your skin, sending shivers down your spine as the fire in your belly ignited once more. “Feel what you do to me by just standing in your kitchen in an oversized white shirt.” 

Against your belly was the same hardness you felt yesterday night on your hip. The one you felt rubbing itself against your center. The one you felt against your thigh when he climbed over towards you. And now, you didn’t have the dress on, your makeup was smudged and you cleaned it up with your fingers as much as you could, you probably smell like sweat… and he still wants you.

He couldn’t help himself, being close to your ear, to your skin, and his mouth instantly pressed a gentle kiss under your earlobe, a gasp coming out of your lips as the touch left your skin burning. You should ask him, you should talk to him, stop and try to think for a second, but that was the problem right now, you didn’t want to, and it seems that he didn’t either. 

His kiss trailed down towards your neck, soft lips pressing against your pulse point, and your hands raised up shakily to hold onto his biceps, fingernails digging into his skin, and his own digits dug into your waist, trying to have a cable back to earth, but his self control was slipping away again the more he took your scent in, the more he tasted you again on his lips. 

More. More. More.

Now that chant was on repeat in his mind as well, at the same time it was happening in yours. He was repeating your actions from yesterday, letting himself go, his mouth doing the work for him, not a single thought running in his head except for the need to hold you again, just running his lips on your skin again.

“I really mean it…” He mumbled in your neck, more kisses being left there as he kissed his way from one side to the other, making your head turn with soft breaths escaping your mouth which was making his brain simply scramble into nothing. “You have no idea for how long I’ve wanted you.” 

His voice was low, and your belly was burning with need again, your hands slowly trailing over his biceps to rest one hand on his shoulder, the other around his neck, pulling him into you, making his kisses turn hungrier, not being able to hold it and sucking on your skin to mark you, to leave you the reminder that this happened between you both, for you to look at it at every hour today, and tomorrow, and he wishes that by the end of today he would be able to retrace his mark again and again, not letting it fade at all, even if weeks went by. 

“Eds—” You softly mumble as a moan escapes your lips, your eyes half lidded as you bathe in his attention. You heard a soft groan against your skin, only for the warmth that was there to simply vanish as he pulled away from you. Before you could complain, before you could ask, before the gears in your brain could start working again, his lips found yours, making your nails grip onto his shoulder even tighter.

He was hungry, and it wasn’t for the pancakes, and he made it known by how he instantly started moving his lips against yours, rough, yet with deepness, with care, swallowing your breaths into his mouth, taking everything he could from you. You didn’t even had time to process what was happening, except for your desire to start talking for you as well, and your brain was simply processing the words ‘Fuck it’.

You started returning his kiss in the same manner, the hand on his neck going to his nape to pull him even deeper into you, your other hand sliding off his shoulder to rub against his bicep and he groaned into you, your touch making his gut turn in excitement, in nervousness, in need, just by you scratching your nails on his skin, not even on an erogenous zone. He sort of cursed you in his head for the way you made him feel like putty in just two seconds and with just one touch.

He ran his tongue over your bottom lip, and your mouth instantly invited him in, a moan of yours escaping into his as his tongue pressed against yours. You felt him even harder against your belly, making the heat in your center reappear at an alarming rate, almost too hot for you to handle. Now that you knew what he could do to you, this burning was even worse than before. It was much, much worse, but you didn’t hate it, you didn’t dislike it and you didn’t want to push it away.

His hands finally moved from your waist, and you gasped into the kiss as you felt his fingertips gliding underneath the hem of your shirt, pulling it up as he finally pressed his hand against your bare back, flushing you into him, and you shivered at how big his palm was against you, how hot it felt, but another gasp escaped you when you felt his other hand cup the round of one of your cheeks, now pressing you against his bottom half even harder.

He moaned in his throat and you melted at the sound, your tongue still dancing with his as his hands pressed against you, rubbed, groped, simply felt as if wanting to remember every part of your skin and body, on how your skin was soft yet warm under his palms. Your minds were filled with one another, not wanting to separate at all, and he needed you again, screw the pancakes, he can eat those later, right after he has you.

He had to guide you to your bedroom, you need to know how much he wants you still, how much he will want you after, and the days to come, and he is certain he is not going to ever get tired of you, not when you taste like this, when you feel like this, when you burn like this. 

He pushed himself off the counter, ready to begin to guide you back to where you both woke up minutes ago. You were going to let him, your belly turning anxiously as you let yourself wanting him again, and maybe this time you can try to make him feel good too. You want to really make him feel good, just like he did yesterday and the other night. You were eager to learn what he liked, eager to hear him moan because of what you do to him, and you never in your life thought you would be eager to do something like that before.

The music of Master of Puppets suddenly filled the room and your eyes opened like plates.

You two pulled away, brows furrowed together as you both looked around to where it was coming from. Eddie finally spotted his jacket on the floor, just where he left it yesterday and he cursed under his breath. He had to let you go to actually answer the phone. 

“Hang on sweetheart.” He gave you a small peck on the lips before letting go of your body, and you just stood there, frozen as you felt the cold hitting your skin again. What happened? How did you go from making pancakes to almost having sex with him once more? How did that happen in such a short lapse of time?

He grabbed his jacket from the floor, grimacing slightly at it because he just left a wet patch on the floor, not letting it dry properly so it was still kind of wet in some folds. He dug into his pocket for his phone, pulling it out to look at the caller ID. He blinked a few times at it and when he didn’t answer is when you turned your head to look at him.

“Eds…?” You called him out, almost breathlessly and he turned to look at you with a small smile on his face.

“I have to get this Angel, I’ll be back.” You watched him put the jacket on the counter to then go back into your room, closing the door behind him. Your breath finally left your lungs, the burning calming down slightly, but not quite. You gulped heavily as you licked your lips, and you knew they were red and plump from the kissing you just did. You couldn’t help but feel… Happy. That’s how you felt, a small smile appearing on your lips.

You didn’t mind your mind shutting off when it came to him, you really didn’t. But the uneasiness of not knowing what all of this meant came back, but not because he was not clarifying it with you. It was because you weren’t being clear with yourself. What did this all mean? Why were you like this? Was this really how simple attraction felt like?

Your ear picked up movement in your room, and you really didn’t want to eavesdrop, but you really couldn’t help yourself, and it only took two steps for you to listen to Eddie’s low voice through the door. Even when he wanted to speak in whispers he was loud.

“Yeah, I heard you… I forgot about today, but I can— Yeah…— Okay, see you later then–.” 

You blinked at those words, brows knitting together in confusion. Who was he talking to? You heard more shuffling and you panicked, not wanting him to know you were listening to his conversation and you went back towards the pancakes, now cold and you pretended to prepare a plate for you to put one on when you heard the door open. Your blood pumped in your veins in a wildly manner as you turned to see Eddie with his turtleneck on, boots thumping on your floor as he mumbled curses under his breath. 

“Are you alright?” It was the first question that popped in your head, because he didn’t look happy at all, and seeing him in his clothes again made your mood instantly drop, realizing that he was leaving. 

“Yeah– Um… I have to go… Steve needs me to take him somewhere– Kind of forgot about it.” He says to you with a small smile to his face, almost forced and you stood still in your place, not really knowing what to do. He saw your hesitation, so he took the steps between the both of you, his hands cupping your face, leaning down to place a soft peck on your lips. Your breath hit his face as he pulled away, but lingered over your lips, and you couldn’t help but voice out the first question that came to mind.

“You really have to go?” And Eddie wanted to die right then and there. You didn’t want him to leave, but fuck, he had to go. His knees almost buckled at your voice yet, he nodded with a saddened look on his face.

“Yeah… But we’ll talk later okay? We really do need to talk… Right Angel?” Your eyes locked with his at those words, and your face flushed in a way that wasn’t because of embarrassment, but just pure adoration. You nodded, almost dumbly at his words, making a smile appear on his lips. He gave you a peck on your lips again, not really wanting to go without his dose and he has to quickly pull away before he gets distracted with you once again. 

He pulled away from you and you felt your body completely warm now, not even cold, not even if he pulled away from you. He grabbed onto his jacket with one hand and walked towards the door, opening it to then look towards the counter. He rushed back to grab onto two full pancakes, shoving them in his mouth, the rest still sticking out, making your eyes go wide, afraid he’ll choke.

“Eddie!” He smiled at you with the pancakes between his teeth, winking at you before doing a little jog out of the door, closing it behind him, finally leaving you alone in your home. 

Your hands immediately went towards your mouth, covering it to contain your screams, afraid that he was still out there. You were feeling so many things at one single moment. Nervousness, fear, happiness, indecisiveness, embarrassment, delight, and arousal. All of that was happening in one single moment which was making your heart rate pick up even more than before.

You were going to have a stroke by the end of the day, you knew that. And he wants to talk. What does he want to talk about? What are you supposed to talk about? What are you supposed to say? To feel? How do you even start the conversation with him? What is going to be your new normal? What did you want it to be?

You absentmindedly grabbed onto one pancake and took a bite out of it, only to spit it out onto the plate in disgust. 

It was the burnt one.

He hasn’t spoken to you all day, and that made you anxious. It’s already 7 PM, and it’s his day off, so he should be available, right? You could message him, but what do you even want to say? Hi? How are you? How was your day?

There is no way you could be normal with this, you can’t act normal, not when you had to actually clean your room after yesterday’s night. Not when you discovered the ball of paper on the night table that wasn’t yours, only to open it up and find the used condom inside, and that made your memories just hit you like a car at great speed, almost knocking you over.

How can you act normal after that?

Your phone started ringing, the ringtone of The Shire started going off and your heart leaped, and you rushed from your room towards your kitchen where the noise was coming from, grabbing it from the counter, only for your face to frown into a disappointed one seeing it was Robin. That made you feel a little bit guilty, but you couldn’t help yourself. Not when you’ve been waiting all these hours for him to talk to you again. You slid the button to answer her, her face coming up on the screen, a big smile on her lips.

“Hi Rob–”

“SHE SAID YES!” That startled you, completely, almost throwing the phone to the floor. You blinked a few times as you regained the posture, as Robin’s blabbering kept going on the phone and you raised a hand towards your camera to stop her.

“Robs, Robs– I don’t understand a word you’re saying, where are you?” You frowned at seeing her on what appeared to be the mall, just walking while talking to you.

“Vickie said yes to my date!” She says excitedly and your chest warms up with joy, a smile spreads on your lips as you start bouncing in your place, and she mimics you, both of you looking completely dumb but you didn't care, nor did she.

"Holy shit!" You yell with her as you spin in your place and she laughs, a vibrant blush on her cheeks as she looks at you.

"I know!" She yells again and probably caught the attention of many people that were walking near her and you hear her say a small 'sorry' to someone, making you giggle.

"How did it happen?" You asked her, going to sit on your couch, excitement clear in your voice. She was still with a smile on her face, almost crazy looking, making you laugh at her face.

"She called me to ask me about something; I really don't even remember what it was, I think it was something about a recipe? Anyways, at the end of it I just– She just looked too pretty, you have no idea, and I blurted it out." You covered your mouth with your hand as shock washed over you. You never really imagined Robin to be straightforward, but it seems she bursted at the seams.

"Wow Robin… Why are you in the mall? When is it? Where are you both going?" The questions blurted out of your mouth like a machine gun, making Robin blush even more.

"We are going to the movies tonight, and I am getting something different than what I always wear, because I realized all my clothes look the fucking same, and maybe– Do I get her some roses? Chocolates? I’ve never been on a formal date, I don’t know how this works, I am losing my mind–”

“Robin, Jesus calm down, I bet that Vickie doesn’t care, she already said yes to a date, knowing it wasn’t a friendly outing.” You tell her and she seemed to calm down with that, giving you a soft nod as if in understanding.

“You are right… God, I just– I just like her so much…” You can see Robin’s dreamy eyes as she enters one of the stores, scanning all of the clothes that might be there, but your mind starts to wander. Robin didn’t know anything, not even that you kissed Eddie. Maybe she did because she’s friends with Steve, but she never really said anything about it… But–

“Robs?” You call out to her, heart thumping in your ears as you let your words come out of your mouth.

“Yeah?” She was still looking above the camera, and you could hear the hangers simply moving from side to side as she browsed. You cleared your throat and licked your lips, stammering a bit in your words as you tried to word your thoughts without giving yourself away.

“How do you even know it is not a simple attraction? What you feel for Vickie.” You say to her, biting on your tongue almost as the nerves in your belly started spiraling as she looked quizzically down at the phone.

“What?”

“I never experienced it, so– I mean, liking someone is simply being attracted to them, right?” 

“Oh honey, no.” You sat frozen at that, blinking at the phone, your whole body just completely still on your couch as you processed her words. What? When you didn’t answer, she continued talking. “You start with attraction, then it develops into something else.”

Your heart picked up a pace again, and the hand holding the phone was growing quite the sweat. What did she mean by that? Why does it feel like she is saying something that you needed to hear? Why does it feel like she is caging you? 

“And how do you even know that?” You manage to ask, and your mind for some reason is afraid of the answer. Afraid to finally come to terms with something you thought it was going to be impossible for you. 

“Well, you are still attracted to them, but… You want to know about them, wake up with them by your side… I don’t know, I guess– When you are with them, and you can laugh afterwards, but still want them later on… You just want— More.”

Your eyes widened as plates at that, heart finally coming to a stop.

More. More. More.

“Oh god…” You let those words come out as a soft breath, Robin not really hearing you, too busy finding a shirt for her date, while you were having a complete breakdown on this discovery of yours. You found the word for your feelings. The word that scares you even at the deep of your gut. The word that you don’t even know if it’s reciprocated, and you are scared to even know if it is.

And now you came to realize that it’s not recent. It’s not something that happened after the first kiss even. Even when he hugged you, you always wanted more. When he held your hand, you always wanted more. When he laughed with you and you didn’t want it to ever stop, you just wanted more. It was never enough, it could never be enough, not when it came to him. You were screwed.

You fell for Eddie. Deeply. 

Your body trembled with realization, with desperation to have him back with you because now that you know what name to put on your feelings, you just felt this incredible need of having him, shower him with affection, not even be nervous around him, you just needed to hold him again, kiss him again, touch him again, spend time with him again. 

You were nervous, anxious even, but there was still hope in your heart, hope that he feels the same for you, hope that he wants you more than just friendship. He wants to talk to you about what happened yesterday, he wants to talk it out and now you know where you are headed. Now you know how to start the conversation. Now you know what to tell him. 

“Hey, you there?” You hear Robin, making you snap completely out of your thoughts, blinking rapidly at the screen. Your friend had a small smirk on her lips, or you thought she had it, because it fell down as soon as you looked at the camera.

“Y-Yeah, I just– I remembered I have to um… get some ingredients for today’s dinner. I have nothing in my fridge.” You manage to blurt out the lie, but in your head you were already making plans, not being able to hold your words back, knowing where to go now.

“Oh, then if it’s that… Go to the grocery store… I’ll tell you everything after my date, okay?” Robin had a knowing smile on her face as she spoke to you and you really wanted to question her if she knew, but it was going to be a conversation that would take too long and you needed to run out of your apartment right at this very second.

“Yeah! I hope everything goes well Robs!” You say quickly, kind of feeling guilty for squashing over your friend’s success but it seems as if Robin didn’t really mind it, waving at you.

“Hopefully! Talk to you later!” And you said a soft ‘bye’ and hung up the call. You blinked a few times at the phone. Should you call him? Tell him– No, he has his day off. Your legs started working again as your breathing became erratic with emotion, with excitement, never in your life feeling this way before.

You finally know what everyone meant when they talked about crushes, and love. You never felt that excitement, never felt that interest, never really believed they were telling you the truth about it, but now you know it is, because your heart was exploding but in such a good way, in a perfect way that only Eddie managed to do. 

Your feet took you to your room to throw on a pair of jeans, changing from your pajama pants, and then a random shirt, changing it from your oversized shirt that you were still wearing since the morning because it still held Eddie’s scent. His perfume stuck to the collar of the fabric and you whimpered when you took it off, but you had to be quick. You almost fell on your ass when you wiggled yourself forcefully into your sneakers.

You didn’t even grab your purse, just your phone and your car and house keys. You never ran so fast out of the complex and towards your car, with a smile plastered on your face all the while. When you sat yourself in front of the steering wheel, you couldn’t even believe what you were doing, what your feet were taking you, but you couldn’t hold it in anymore, just like last night.

Last night you finally exploded, wanting to finally feel him entirely, and the fact that you want, NEED more, is a sign that you have to talk it out, say that to him, say that you want more, be honest and let yourself go. Your keys got into the ignition hole, and you took a deep breath as you started your journey into the streets, your heart in your throat pumping quicker as you approached your destination.

You were probably insane, you were probably going to make a scene, and you didn’t even know how to word anything of what you were feeling properly, but you were sure you were going to say everything to him. You knew you had to. No matter how it comes out of your mouth, no matter what you have to do to get your words through, you will try and you will tell him that you like him, that you are falling for him, that you might even already have fallen to the deep end.

You parked right in front of his complex, and an old man was opening the main door to the lobby, making you rip yourself from the seatbelt and bolting out of your car, pressing the lock button over your shoulder as you reached the door, holding it open for the old man who thanked you as you anxiously waited for him to go through. Once he did, you ran towards the elevators, pressing the buttons desperately.

You looked at the numbers going down and you were chanting ‘come on, come on’ under your breath. Once the metal doors opened, you ran inside, quickly pressing his apartment’s button, almost to the point of breaking it. The door closed and you took many deep breaths in, but a smile was on your face as your ears rang from the excitement. You weren’t even thinking of the possibility of rejection, you just wanted this feeling to be known, for him to know, for him to understand.

The doors opened and you took a slow step out as you stared at his apartment door. Was this the right decision? Right now? Not even messaging him to tell him you were coming over? He had errands to run today, what if he is not home yet? But the light underneath the door frame told you otherwise, sparking your excitement once again. You walked towards the door, and took one last deep breath in. This was it.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You waited, deep breaths coming out of your lips as you waited, rocking on the balls of your feet, back and forth, and that’s when you heard shuffling on the other side of the door, a sniffle, slippers sliding against the wooden floor, and a click of the lock was heard. When it opened, you found a very sick Steve Harrington in front of you, red nose and all, hair all over the place, his blue robe on his body and your eyes widened at the sight.

“Shit, Steve, are you okay?” You ask him and he was almost wobbly, greeting you with your name and nodding. He actually took so many tylenol and dayquil that his mind was just trying to survive at this point.

“Yeah, peachy, never felt greater in my life…” You winced at his sarcasm and he sniffled holding himself with his hand on the doorframe, his eyes completely droopy from the mucus that was on his sinus. “What brings you here, sweetness?” You straightened up again at his question, but you tilted your head in question this time, remembering that Eddie told you he had to take Steve somewhere… maybe the hospital?

“Oh, I just— I came to see Eddie.” Steve scoffed at that, and sniffled again.

“He is not here.” He says and you tilt your head in confusion again. Maybe he went to grab something to eat?

“Oh, I just assumed it’s his day off so…” You mentioned to him, and you were hoping you would get the information out of his mouth, a mouth that at this moment had no filter, and no rationality or perception.

“He must be with a client.” He says and you just blink up at him, and your mind for some reason was telling you that you should leave, that you should not hear any longer, that you have to run from there, but your feet never moved.

“A client?” You choke out, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible and Steve wobbles a bit, trying to focus on your face, but failing to do so. He waved his hand around as he explained himself.

“Yeah, his second job. He did tell you about it right?”

“The job… that…”

“Private meetings with clients. Mainly sex really.” 

Your heart dropped at that, falling right into your stomach. You were staring at Steve as if he had just stabbed you with a sword, just impaling you without any kind of mercy, and the gears in your mind started working, but instead of moving forward, they went backwards. Your hands were starting to tremble, not wanting to believe what Steve was saying.

“That– Today?” You choke out, holding a sob in your throat as your knees start to give up on you. This couldn’t be happening, not right after the best night of your life, not after realizing what you felt for him, not after he said those things to you.

“Yeah, I mean, sometimes we do it for money, sometimes just for pleasure, so that’s why I don’t know when he’ll be back.” He blurts out and that’s when your world stopped.

He lied. He lied to you. He said he was going with Steve today, but Steve is too sick to even move… The call– The words you heard– You wanted to vomit, nausea washing over your stomach as the puzzle came together in your head, slowly, and when it finally clicked, when it all clicked.

And your eyes couldn’t look at Steve’s face any longer.

“O-Oh, y-yeah, he told me, I must have forgotten…” Your voice was small, your body shaking as your gaze couldn’t handle Steve’s neck, nor his chest, nor his legs, until you were entirely looking at the floor. Your body was shaking almost, and you had to run away. You had to leave. You were suffocating. You needed air.

“Do you want me to–” You didn’t even let him finish his sentence, taking a step back from him as his cologne invaded your sense of smell.

“No. He– He will make fun of my… poor memory… Um… Don’t tell him I came here, I’ll… just message him later.” Your voice became smaller and smaller at each word that came out of your lips, and Steve, poor Steve, was so out of it that he didn’t notice anything wrong. 

“Okay, see you later Sweetness.” Your body almost gagged and jerked forward at the nickname, but you stayed put, still looking at the floor. Your mind was shutting down, you needed to leave.

“B-Bye.” You couldn’t even say his name as you turned around, walking back towards the elevator and pressing the button to go down, hearing the door closing before your metal doors shut together. Your eyes were still on the floor, not daring to look up as you tried, you really tried to make those last words disappear from your brain, but they were on repeat, and your body was numb.

You felt numb, automatic, going towards your car, and you don’t even remember starting it, you don’t remember how you even got to your complex, you don’t remember if you locked your car or not as you entered your apartment, your lost gaze just not centering on anything. You threw the keys on the counter, just simply dropping them somewhere as your feet slowly took you towards the bathroom. 

He has a second job. He has a sex working job. And he has had it even before he met you, and he never quit it, and Steve said that he does it for pleasure sometimes. Was this one of the times? Right after last night with you? Maybe there was a mistake? Maybe that’s not what Eddie’s doing? 

But he wasn’t home, and the fact was that he still has that job. He still does it because Steve said it as if it were a frequent thing. How many times have you messaged him or talked to him while he was with a client? Did he go to them after kissing you? Touching you? Sleeping with you? Were you not good? Were you not enough? Were you simple? Were you too complicated? 

You took a deep breath in, trying to calm your heart, feeling it ripping at your chest, urging to come out of your body, to cry out, to yell into the sky and mourn. Your guts were twisting painfully, and you held your stomach just in case you had to turn around to empty your stomach out, because your world was spiraling all around you and it was making you dizzy. 

Why didn’t he ever tell you about this job? Why wasn’t he honest with you from the very beginning? Maybe if he did you wouldn’t have fallen for him. Maybe if he did you would have been more cautious. Maybe if he did you wouldn’t feel like this, this sick, this dizzy, this broken. Why would he hide it from you? 

You looked at your hands and saw that they were shaking at a very quick pace and you knew you were on the brink of a nervous breakdown, you could feel it. You held your chest as you tried to take deep breaths in and out again, trying to calm yourself down, trying to make everything make sense once again, trying to find a reasonable reason for everything, if there was any.

You turned to look at the sink, turning the faucet on and hunching downwards to finally wash your face, trying to make the cold water make you snap out of how bad your head was starting to hurt, how your throat felt like it was closing up at an alarming rate, and your oxygen felt like it was starting to run short. Your lungs were compressed inside your chest, making it slightly painful but nothing hurt more than your heart.

You straightened up with a heavy breath, a long pained huff, shakiness evident as you gripped onto the sink and finally, your eyes looked at your reflection. Every movement in your body stopped. Every tremble, every thought, every blood cell going through your veins, just everything froze as you stared at yourself… And the gears in your head started going backwards, even further, deeper, darker.

He lied to you. He lied to you. He lied to you. 

You were never good enough, you were never going to compare, and somehow you always knew that, yet… He made you feel beautiful, confident in your clothes, confident in your makeup, confident in the way you spoke, in the way you expressed yourself, in the way you moved. He helped you. He helped you. Helped you.

HE SHAPED YOU.

“No…” You tried telling yourself as your body started rocking back and forth, not wanting to listen to your own brain, not wanting to hear the horrible things that it was saying about him because you were certain that he wasn’t evil. He wouldn’t do that to you, he wouldn’t do it, he didn’t seem capable of doing that. There was no evidence of him planning something like that.

But… He did say he always wanted to have you ‘like this’. Did he mean under him? Did he mean sexually? Did he mean… as if you were a conquest? A prize? You shook your head again, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t possibly be, not your Eddie, not your sweet and patient Eddie. Not the Eddie that made you feel like heaven yesterday, not the Eddie that made your life happier than it ever did before. 

Yet, if he did go to that appointment with a private client today, did it mean he wanted to be with someone experienced? That he wanted to be with someone that knows what they’re doing? Someone prettier? Someone that actually makes him feel good? Someone that knows how to actually do that without asking? A regular? 

HE GOT YOU. HE’S DONE.

No. No. No. It isn’t like that, it wasn’t a one time thing. It was never a one time thing. It shouldn’t have been a one time thing, you weren’t going to let your brain stain every memory you had of him, because in the end he was a great friend. A great friend who lied to you, a great friend that shaped you into what he liked, a great friend that you fell for.

You were trying to deny it, you were trying really hard, you can still talk to him, you can still ask him if it were true, but you knew it was, you knew that he was fucking other people, you knew that you weren’t special, you knew he didn’t feel the same as you did. Your mind was hazy now, dark patches blocking your eyesight as you felt the all too well burning sensation in them. 

Your breathing started coming out of your mouth in huge gasps as you rocked back and forth, still looking at your reflection, looking at who you were now, looking at how different you are from before, looking at what you thought was what you actually wanted to look like… But what if it was never that? What if it was a plan all along? What if he saw it as a challenge? What if you were a challenge and he just wanted you perfect to his taste? This wasn’t you. This wasn’t you. This isn’t you.

HE MOLDED YOU.

A rough groan ripped from your throat as you pushed yourself away from the sink, tumbling out of the bathroom and rushing towards your kitchen, almost breaking a drawer out as you took your plastic bags out, your breathing heavy, angry, chest puffing out and down again, pain rushing all over your body like a sharp electric sting, hurting every place, every joint, every organ. Your feet ran towards your room as you looked all around, your eyes red from burning, your mind now in a dark cloud full of thunder. 

You opened a plastic bag and rushed towards your vanity, putting your hand on the desk to start dragging every makeup product you bought for the past two months, grunts and pained whines escaping your throat as you pushed every mascara, lipstick, blush down into the bag.

You opened the drawers of it, now grabbing onto every piece of accessory you got, every little summer scarf he told you that looked good on you, every single thing he complimented you in was going into the bag. You can’t use that, you never used that, you didn’t know how to use any of this, so why keep lying, why keep being someone you are not for the sake of someone else?

You angrily pushed yourself off the vanity, making it rock back and forth and you stared now at your closet. You immediately grabbed another bag and you rushed towards it, flinging it open in a desperate move, getting hold of all the shirts he told you would look good in. All the jeans he helped you buy. All the sweaters he told you will look good on you in the winter.

Your tears were now running down your eyes as you threw each article of clothing into the bag, leaving behind your old stuff, your old shirts, your old jeans, your old pants, who you truly were, where you truly belonged. Secure, safe, and comfortable. You then flung the other side of the closet and your eyes widened when you saw all the jackets you never thought of buying before.

Everything was being taken off the hanger and thrown into a new bag, everything had to go, everything that reminded you of him had to go. Everything that smelled remotely like him, anything that held a memory of him had to go. All the skirts, one by one were being thrown into the bag, the shorts as well, and then the dresses. Things you never wore before in your life, the only time being your prom night. 

You started ripping them out of your closet, throwing them all into a new bag, until you finally held onto one garment. A very specific one. You looked at it as you were about to throw it in, the purple color catching your eye as you straightened up to hold onto it with both of your hands. Tears came down your cheeks as you stared at the purple dress in your grasp.

Your first ever article of new clothing. The first time he complimented you. The first time he twirled you. The first time he took you in. The first time you felt confident in something you never wore before… And it was all fake. Everything was fake. He saw you as a hard conquest, and he got you, and even shaped you into what he wanted, making you desirable for him. 

You sobbed harshly as you let your emotions finally rip from your chest, as you came down from your anger, from your thunder and all that was left was heavy rain. All that’s left is this pain in your chest of your first time feeling something you never thought you would feel, only to be ripped away seconds later. All that’s left… it’s this purple dress.

And you will still throw it into the bag.

End of part 7

A/N: I know it isn't as long as last one or the ones before, but next one is the last chapter, so... I hope I didn't hurt you all too much with this.

I hope you liked this chapter and always reblog your artists!

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Lay All Your Love On Me (imagine) Rockstar! Eddie

What’s the Name of the Game? : It's the summer of 1995 and Julie is ready to spend her summer at her favourite job, Camp Murdock. Working as a counsellor at the sleepover camp for the 3rd summer, she is ready to get into all kinds of trouble with her bestie. However, it isn't her bestie she will be spending her summer with…

PART 1

Part 2

Part 3 coming soon