Sentence Starters: Things Said While Gaming Edition
Below is a large collection of things that have been said by me or close friends over video call during gaming sessions. Feel free to change pronouns as necessary!
“This coconut's gonna explode in SOMEBODY'S face.”
“I see you there, asshole.”
“Time to fight tonight's sushi menu.”
“Except ____, obviously, doesn't eat with their hat.”
“Whup his ass yet again in the name of food.”
“Isn't it basically civilized anarchy?”
“No wonder it threatens to fall apart every other week.”
“Well, you said that his mind would put Stephen King to shame, so I can certainly believe that.”
“No, they were floating warlocks.”
“I mean, if the rat of Chinese legend is the one teaching you how to use a blade on a stick, of course you want to keep your skill polished.”
“Is ____ okay with their tutor being filled with terrible ideas?”
"Fists might be more effective, but you can't rend someone to pieces with your fists."
“The Pringles Man just assaulted a cinnamon roll.”
“That can't be it, there is nowhere near the requisite amount of apologizing involved.”
“That is one strong frog.”
“I hear the sound of music notes killing people.”
“____ is the master of bad advice and worse ideas.”
“I just heard someone walk into Hell.”
“See ya, Space Skellies.”
“We might have to split this bitch into two parts.”
“Fuck you and the cactus you rode in on.”
“ACHOO! I Heard someone summoned me.”
“____ is such a cinnamon roll and he better not die.”
“I may or may not have picked the lock to your home.”
“Cookie Goddess. Job is never complete... rewarding, though.”
“Your argument is invalid.”
“Come and get your pet! He's being a bad influence!”
“It’s called a yukata, you uncultured pig.”
“It’s comfortable, practical, and really nice to look at.”
“Looks like the crazies are out in full force tonight.”
“I hear the sounds of scrap metal. Perhaps now I’ll get the chance to dismantle the failed AI, piece by piece.”
“You're damn right, I'm awesome.”
"When did large buildings made of stone evolve to the point of mobility?”
“So… the demonic asshole has a son, huh?”
“Oh good! My favorite intellectual is back!”
“Well, call her Mother Nerd then.”
“Cake is serious business man.”
"Seriously, sometimes I think you say things for the sake of being an ass…”
“Oh golly that killed my poor eyes.”
“Hello, naughty leech. It’s murdering time.”
“…Whenever one of you pops the question to the other, I wanna be there to see the reaction.”
“…And just what made you think that was an even halfway-decent insult?”
“I have laughed so hard it's causing me to cough.”
“What’s this about people being gay?”
"Well, they’re either 100% not gay or they’re not telling.”
“He’s more similar to a cactus. That is, to say, a prick.”
“MANY GALLONS OF DISINFECTANT LATER AND THE WHOLE PLACE STILL SMELLS LIKE LITERAL SHIT.”
“I swear, I thought I was looking at her boobs!”
“Time to go watch someone get their face pounded in with a shovel.”
“I can actually taste the bacon.”
“CANADIAN PUNMASTER SPOTTED! REPORT TO CANADIA!”
“If there's one thing I've learned about Canadians, it's that they have bad puns and shit luck with technology.”
“I'd rather kiss a cactus.”
“Alright, asshole. Gimme your secrets.”
“He's an adorable idiot and we love him... well, some of us do.”
“Nobody asked your opinion, and if I wanted it I'd give it to you.”
“I can't really be happy for you until I know what it is you did.”
"If you want me to dignify that with a response, it's not happening."
“Chicken! You have served your usefulness! Get lost!”
"I swear if I didn't know better I'd say you were shitting feathers."
"There you are, you little feathered bastard! C'mere!"
"If I had the ability to, I'd stick you in a slingshot and fire you to the moon!"
“I wanna be the richest person on the planet.”
"I can now pick up flowers and make things go boom!"
"Seems like your aim alternates between being awesome and craptastic."
"I think your jar's busted!"
"You're being cockblocked by the scenery."
"Neutral face, neutral face, neutral face..."
"Fucking bubbles, great. Even better."
“Climb! Climb! Climb as if your life depended on it... because IT DOES!”
“It's at this point that I am very thankful for dark pants.”
“The mortal enemy of any and all adventurers: pottery.”
“Time to snipe some paintings!”
“So you can kill ghosts with arrows.”
“More life means you're less likely to die.”
“Hello, this is Captain Obvious, at your service.”
"Let's try not to fall down the pit of doom and death?"
“Oh god, don't tell me it fell in the lava...”
"It's hotter than sin up in this piece."
"Fortunately it only took one bite out of me."
"Finally the mummies are dead!"
"It is the room of doom and gloom and... pitfalls."
"The pottery fights back, apparently."
"I mean, the floor fights back, so why not pottery?"
"And the statue just faceplants into the floor."
"Staying alive is always a good idea."
"You're probably gonna bite the shit outta me."
"You are not kidnapping my hand."
"I know kitty kung-fu and I'm not afraid to use it!"
"I apologize for not being sorry."
“She's a princess, not a ninja.”
“Butt-dialing is still a thing.”
"I thought we were done with the invisible shit!"
"The pottery rebellion must be stopped!"
“We are not latching onto her boob, I don't care what you think.”
"This is either going to be a good idea, or a terrible idea. I'm gonna go with terrigood idea."
"That was more like a terribad idea, if you ask me."
"Tell me how you really feel, though?"
"We can work out the finer points of temporal causality later on."
“I see dinner. I see a lot of dinner.”
"I knew there was a downside to moving here..."
"Getting mauled by a fluffy butt is not on my list of priorities right now!"
"You're not in Oz anymore, Toto."
"...Oh, right, forges are kinda difficult to break, aren't they?"
"Meanwhile, I am pushing boulders."
"I just had to say something... Now watch as it all goes to hell."
"And lo, I have blown a hole in the wall. FUCK."
"I spy a minecart. This doesn't look dangerous at all. Let's jump in!"
"This doesn't scream 'terrible idea' at all..."
"'Falling into that would be a bad idea'. No shit."
"I'm just gonna leave these spikes right here and be careful not to run into them."
“Time to jump back into the minecart of 'not terrible idea'!”
"Flip everything on its ear!"
"What's the worst that could possibly happen?"
"Let's go flying across the sea of lava. Because that's totally a safe idea."
"Is there even such a thing as 'convection' at that point?"
"Give me money, give me money~"
"We have now gained the technique to go 'fuck you' to the pottery!"
"Fucking ran into a cactus."
"Cactus is OP, please nerf."
"Is this what it's devolved to at this point? Cacti and houses?"
"I'm not heading to the treasure yet; no way in hell I'm prepared for that!"
"How the hell do you find a cooking pot in a tree stump?"
"Jesus Christ, do you think you have enough fortifications?"
"Time to go smash some rocks."
"If you don't have a hat, you will die."
"Exit stage left, pursued by bear!"
“I'm not even sure where to begin at this rate...”
"I don't wanna get chewtoyed."
"Venture into certain death, or stay in safety? Let's try death."
"Maybe that's just my stomach."
"It doesn't matter if you have the high ground; I have a bow!"
"The fucking birds' nests are more useful than you shits!"
"I don't know if I should be relieved or worried."
"I should have left these 515 lumps of coal back home."
"Become one with the cactus."
"It's very important to bearproof your doors."
"Any sandwich that's green and fuzzy-looking is probably something you shouldn't eat."
"Was it worth it? No, it wasn't."
"Don't trust yourself not to do dumb shit, because it's gonna happen."
"That's the flaw in humanity; we're inherently stupid at times."
"I spilled my drink and now it looks like my floor is covered in blood."
"That is a pathetic disguise you have there, sir. Foliage? Really?"
"I am on the hunt for loot."
"Using an arrow with your bow is always a good idea."
"Oh, I've got a thousand rocks. Okay."
"They have no more fucks to give."
"At this point you're assuming I have a life."
"Ow, that was my everything."
"Ready the potato cannon!"
"I see shrubbery that I have not trimmed. This needs to be rectified."
"And let us now carry on with the murder."
"Cereal. The true dinner of champions."
"No, you are not allowed to eat me!"
“I can usually tell when you're being a smartass...”
"You're not wrong, but... shut up."
"You're watching a nomad doing his best to re-create Mad Max."
"I hear lots of bad things!"
"Shotgun messiah, my ass!"
"Build defenses, or bake bread?"
"How do you get leather off of a bear, anyways?"
"Is it really Murphy's Law at work here, or is it low-key arrogance screwing you over?"
"See what happens? Start ranting about dragons, and time suddenly flies by!"
"That explains all the stupid decisions and idiocy! ...wait, that might just be me."
"I heard of magic bullets but magic arrows? Seriously?!"
"Were you brought up in a barn?!"
"Fuck me in the ass with a cactus!"
“THAT'S A LOT OF MAGICAL GIRLS.”
“I'm just gonna crawl into the hole, fuck you.”
"Sometimes you need someone commenting on how crazy your idea is for you to realize it's a crazy idea."
"Death by cave-in. It's more common than you think."
"So now that you've found you're severely lacking in clay, what are you going to do?"
"Trying to be a prospector is a fuckton harder than it seems to be."
"Time to go home and get yourself some eggs."
"Not digging straight down is usually a good rule of thumb."
"I guess we can file that under 'Acceptable Breaks from Reality'."
"I guess things can be too realistic sometimes."
"How do you get cement from heating stone in a forge?"
"Chances are this whole thing is gonna collapse on me."
"I know what could happen to me, so I won't be surprised when it actually does happen."
"This entire mineshaft is lit by candlelight. Not someplace I'd see as romantic, though..."
"If you have a fire dragon, you can make any place a natural hot spring with an application of fire."
“Just listen to those screams.”
“Hello, you cutie. Stop being cute.”
"Truly asking the important questions in life, huh?"
"Drunk treasure hunting. Why not?"
"Gimme a flaming katana, I'll be happy."
"Jesus Christ, that's an ocean!"
"How did I end up on an island?!"
"You always need boobs in life, man."
“That mirror looks like it actually a gaping hole into the abyss, but sure, let's use it as decoration!”
"Set my pants on fire, why don't you?"
"Good, we have a place to set our sacrifices to the abyss!"
"And you expected anything less than bullshit architecture?"
“I don't know what I did, and I don’t know if it’s glorious or not…”
“...This is going to be a trainwreck, but I brought it on myself, so I can't complain.”
"I am the immortal demon child. Fear me and my floofy hood."
"I'm just going to explode in rage and take you with me."
"I mean, if you want to jump into the laser of doom, that's fine."
"It's not like these things are easy to aim..."
“Don’t use spikes as your exit plan.”
“I don’t think synchronized dying is an Olympic sport.”
“So you want a one-eyed shrimp-looking bird thing?”
“Onward, to glory! ...And fishsticks!”
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