The Bachelor Husband

Opinion. Not fact, not truth.

I write my posts in a black and white manner. I mean to say whatever I say as pointed fact.... truth. I believe that truth is that way, solid, unyielding, unbending, unbreaking. Like the character and nature of God.

But what I am about to say is mere opinion. I have nothing scriptural to back it up. It is an observation, but still one I hold on to.

I don't believe that death is meant to be easy. I don't believe we can come to death with a nonchalant attitude. It is meant to hurt. It is never meant to be casual. It is a reminder --- a harsh reminder --- of all that we lost in the fall.

Grappling with death is God's way of showing us that this life is not permanent.... and never will be. That holding on to this life is futile... and meant to be. That the decay of age, and time, and universal entropy are inescapable --- but likewise, that there is more.

Augustine died 1700 years ago. But his words and life live on. Luther died 500 years ago, but God still uses him today. Someday I will die.... and my prayer is simply that my words be found truth-full and truthful. Death does not come without hope.

There is a single verse I have memorized and turned back to time and time again. It is the heart and essence --- the very definition of --- what it means to be "Christian". And it's found in the Book of Revelation.

It must be pointed out that the verse before this talks about Satan.... thus the "they overcame him..." is a reference back to the great dragon, the deciever, the devil....

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die. (Revelation 12:11)

They were not afraid to die.

Sondi, my mentor and dearest friend, lying on her deathbed, uttered to her husband "Trust God." She was not afraid to die. Even as Necrotizing Fasciitis was eating her alive... she did not fear death.

In 2010, when I faced death myself, my words to my wife were "God knows what He's doing." There was no fear.

And yet..... when we view death in others.... it is meant to remind us...... Life in this world is not, and never was meant to be, permanent. That this world has been utterly corrupted by the fall... and death is a cold, hard picture of that reality.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart Lean not on your own understanding.

Why do we believe that we can dictate the terms of our salvation? I've met more than a few people in my life who call themselves 'christian' and yet reject scripture's authority, ability to speak for God, or even authorship. As if we can customize our Christian life.

Christianity is all --- or nothing. You cannot treat it like a buffet. You cannot say "I like the idea of heaven, but I don't want to acknowledge my sin -- even if the bible says it's a sin." "I reject what the Bible says". or worst redifine terms so that you feel comfortable.

The second half of that verse says this:

Acknowledge the Lord in all that you do and he will set your paths straight. (RE: He will guide you as to where you need to go)

The beauty of surrendering all...... is the promise that God ---- will ---- lead you. There is no doubts or confusion. God takes care of you (Matthew 6 The sparrows and the lillies) and will provide for you (Phillipians 4:19) ..... but it doesn't start until we put EVERYTHING in, lay down all the cards we want to hold back, and bow ourselves in submission to Him.

Life without Christ is chaos and confusion.

But scripture promises this to those who believe: Oh, the joys of those who do not     follow the advice of the wicked,     or stand around with sinners,     or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the Lord,     meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planted along the riverbank,     bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither,     and they prosper in all they do. (Psalm 1:1-3)

In the book of Pilgrim's progress there is a point where Pilgrim is travelling down a road.  I don't remember his companion, but they come to a point where just next to the road lies another road, and this other road stretches into the horizon alongside "The Road".

Argument ensues, and this fellow traveller takes the other path.  It ultimately leads to his ruination.  His destruction.  His death.  You see, the other road, which seemed to be narrow and straight, ultimately turned at the end, and at that point there was no turning back.

Long --- Decades --- have I said that the PROOF of a man's Christianity is not in it's momentary pleadings "I am, I am, I am..." but in the longer test of where his life and doctrine take him. (1 Timothy 4:16) One might start well.... but in the end comes his destruction. (Proverbs 14:12)

I've seen it all too often when reviewing Christian Music Artists.  In the 80's, they talked of Jesus.  They spoke of morality and sin and scripture.  But in time --- their truest colors show, and the poison of their false professions tickle the ears of so many people who say "... yeah, but, it meant something to me."

A false 'Jesus', is still false, regardless of it's name.  An idol, even named 'Jesus', will not save.   You wonder why so many today say "My Jesus is gentle and kind and would never judge." --- they've bought into "The other road".  They've created an idol, that just happens to bear Jesus name, falsely.  Just like any Mormon.  Just like any Jehovah’s Witness. 

Hebrews 6 paints the picture of someone like that.  Most people read the chapter and think it's about fallen BELIEVERS.  It's not.  It's about the ultimate end of those sitting on the fence, playing the game, walking the "other road".   This is why it concludes with:  It is impossible.... for those (like this) who've fallen away to be brought back to repentance.  (Heb. 6:4-6 paraphrased) IMPOSSIBLE.  Why?  Because they "tried 'Jesus'..." and found him worthless to their minds.  They do not see that they honestly never came to Jesus in reality.

I can think of no better example than Ojo Taylor formerly of the Christian Rock band "Undercover".    Once a proclaimer of "the faith" --- now a hardcore atheist bent on destroying the faith in others.  (He regularly speaks at a convention called "Freedom From Faith"... intent on casting doubt on Christ and Christianity.)  And yet, Christians today defend him. Why?  Because his music spoke to them. Because -- HE -- was their own idol.

If someone --- anyone  --- falls away.  It was because THEY NEVER (read 1 John 2:19 or consider the Sheep & The Goats, Wheat & Tares parables) belonged in the first place.  Time has only shown what was inside all along, and it wasn’t Christ or anything to do with Him. Judas spent 3 years alongside of Jesus --- and yet still went to hell in the end.

It seems like a weird "hill" to die on but it begs a larger question when it's viewed thoroughly and honestly.  It’s not a matter of someone’s “rights” or ambitions or abilities --- it’s a matter of is the Bible true.... or false.... in all that is says?

I passed on another "church" in my area.  I was all set to go, and to hopefully find a church that honors, follows, obeys and submits to the TRUTH.   Instead, I find out that they have a woman im-pastor (as in “Imposter” or fake).  And thus, they do none of those things.

So what's the big deal???  Why is having a female pastor so bad?  Don’t women have the right to do the same as men?  Why can’t a woman preach?

Because God’s word is either true... or false.   And if we declare something within scripture to be spurrious --- if we determine that our own opinions matter more or have a greater weight or value --- then effectively we’ve set ourselves up as judge over God’s word, and indeed as judge over God himself.  

We show that we are not Christians in that moment --- we are actually pagans trying to impose our sinfulness into / over / upon and >> IN PLACE OF << The Word of God.  A Christian submits him/herself to God, Christ, The Holy Spirit .... and the Word of God.  A pagan mind scoffs, chaffs, argues, and refuses to obey.  (Romans 8:7-9)   Indeed, they fall right in line with Romans 1:18 ---  But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people WHO SUPPRESS THE TRUTH by their wickedness.

When spelling out the qualities of leadership within the Church, Paul wrote (under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit of God) that women were not to take a leadership role.  Historically speaking, women have never held any leadership position within the framework of God’s priests.   There was never.... NOT ONE... a single women priest, in all of Israel, in the Old Testament.  Not one.  We’re not talking judges over Israel.... we’re talking the Levitical Priesthood.  The core of God’s dealing with Israel.

So when we move to the church, we find Paul saying: I do not allow that a woman should have authority over men within the church.  (1 Timothy 2:11-15)  He says this in the direct middle of a passage precisely dictating how a church is to be governed. This is in direct line with the way that God has ALWAYS dealt with men.... throughout all of biblical history.  When we say “It doesn’t matter.”  or “That was Paul’s opinion.” or “That was a cultural issue”  (I’ve heard every one of these arguements) --- we dismiss the clear teaching and actually bring forth a greater issue --- if This is ‘not true’.... how much of the rest of the Bible is ‘Not true’????   You literally open a floodgate that undermines the clarity, authority and truthfulness of the entire New Testament.  Indeed, the entire Bible.

So, either the Bible is T-R-U-E --- in all it’s parts, words, statements, declarations and laws (Psalm 1:1-3 & 19:7-9) --- or the Bible is riddled with falsities and as Paul elsewhere declares:  we, of all men, are to be pitied for having believed in a lie.  (paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 15:9)

Bill Clinton was president.  He had an affair with Monica Lewinski.  Interestingly.....  during the investigation into the matter..... Clinton's public opinion polls.... skyrocketed.  People liked him MORE because of his sin.  Because he lied and because of his affair.

Former president Trump worked to keep his campaign promises. Everything he said.... he honored.   And yet..... people hated him.  Why?  Because America is not a nation governed by integrity..... morals..... or even any sense of “morality”, but rather by sin.  I am not saying or claiming that Trump was a moral man.... simply that he sought to honor and keep his word.  And yet.... for this --- alone --- he was vilified and made out to be a villian in office.

So, according to the reactions of people to my last post, I am the world’s worst father... right up there with Hitler.   Why?  Just because I have the audacity to stand upon the fact that homosexuality is a sin, and I have told both of my children this.  Men hate the truth, despise God, and nowhere is this more appearent today than when you stand up and proclaim that they are sinners.

If you read my last post, I never once stated that Homosexuality was the greatest of sins.  Never once stated that homosexuality sends people to hell.  Never once.   What I did say was that it WAS a sin, on the same level as lying, cheating or murder.  ALL SIN... is equal before God.  And as well, it is not ONE SIN that sends us to hell... but rather our rebellion towards God that puts us there.

Our rebellion --- the arrogant attitude that says we know better... indeed, we know best.... and noone can tell us otherwise  --- Our rebellion is what sends us to Hell.  Our rebellion is what makes us enemies of God.

Repent?  From what?  I am not a sinner, I am my own ruler, and no book is going to put things into black or white for me.  No book is going to determine my morality.  I prefer to dwell in the realms of hypotheticals.... where infinite shades of grey dispel any notion of an absolute LAW or any authoritarian morality.

This is the attitude of men today.... and the moment you interject that there is a determinate law that governs all men.... and to which one day we must all be judged.... well, in that moment you enrage men and bring down their wrath.  Whether it is in snide, snotty or mocking comments, such as my last post.... or in full on hostility that leads to “justified murder” such as all the martyrs throughout the ages have endured.... one way or another, men will vent their rage at you for exposing sin, because.... all men hate God, His Rule, His standard, His Law.

It’s been 10 years now.  I think about that often.  10 years since my children ceased all contact with me because of my convictions.  Because I believe homosexuality and lesbianism to be sins.... forgivable sins, but sins nonetheless.

You see, my children, are both gay.  My daughter is a lesbian and my son is “bisexual”.   And I had the audacity to tell my atheist son and agnostic daughter that sin will keep them under the judgement of God.   It doesn’t matter if it’s lying, cheating, murdering or having a lesbian partner..... all sin is sin, and all sin is an offense to God.

And people don’t get to heaven by denying their sin.

Proverbs 28:13 says it pretty bluntly. 

Those who cover (hide, deny, excuse) their sin shall not prosper, but those who confess and forsake it shall obtain mercy.

And unless the church is about the business of exposing sin... people aren’t going to be saved.  Jesus said it himself:

I have not come to call righteous ones, but sinners, to repentance. (Luke 5:32)

He came.... for sinners.  And when we deny, excuse or attempt to hide (cover) our sin.... we have no place for God’s mercy.   John 1:8 & 10 says this about those who excuse or deny their sin.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. ..........  If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him (God) out to be a liar and His word is not in us. 

The entire world is separated by those who have the Truth and those without the Truth.   Those who accept that God is right and just and proper in judging us (ourselves included with everyone else) and those who deny God the right to stand over them in judgement.

My children are judged.... not because they are homosexual or lesbian.... but because they are sinners, who refuse to acknowledge they are.  Paul understood the justice of God when he wrote:

For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. (Romans 8:7)

Men, will not, cannot and shall not..... without an act of God breaking through their blind stubbornness.... submit to God’s law because they DESPISE God and His Law.  Paul would later say to the Ephesians:

Their (Those without God) minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. (Ephesians 4:18-19)

If there was ever a question about why the world is in the shape it is now..... the answer is found right in this:   Men refuse to acknowledge God in their world, and chaos ensues because of it.  People seek what they cannot have... because they seek apart from God.    People want peace that they cannot find.... because they want it without God.   People want love... without rules.... not comprehending that it is the rules that makes love endure.  (Look at 1 Corinthians 13... it doesn’t say love is free from rules... it spells the rules out in black and white:  Love is... Love is... Love is....)

It bothers me.   Honestly, it really bothers me.   I’ve been looking around at NetFlix for something to watch.... and the majority of things there are labeled “Dystopian” “Dark” or “apocalyptic”.

Now, when Hollow-wood deems this to be something worthy of "our” attention --- that usually means, people are buying it.  And if people are buying it..... one really has to wonder:  what is in our psyche that pushes us to think in this fashion?   Zombie Apocalypse... Walking Dead.... Z-Nation.... why do we find this plausible ---- and why is Hell a joke?

We can conceive of “Life after death” --- but only if they’re vampires or zombies or ghouls.  We consider this to be “plausible”.... and yet when someone speaks of Hell, eternal damnation, or the fact that men have spurned the Law of God and collectively spat in God’s face..... we’re considered to be the ones who are lost in a fantasy.

When did our fascination with death become the norm?   Vampires = dead people.   Zombies = dead people.  Ghosts = dead people.   We’re fixated on death.  I don’t remember this being the case in my personal youth or young adulthood.... so when did this become the norm?

I’m not a “Modern” historian.  I’ve spent decades of my life being an ACTUAL historian.... digging into true history, delving into the lives and times of eras and epochs gone by.  So it’s hard for me to look at where we are and figure out how we got here.   One thing I can say though.... sin is at the root of it all.

When we spurn God, when we proclaim He doesn’t exist, erase Him from history and creation..... when we mock the Biblical presentation of God, life and mankind.... we do so because sin lies at the very heart of our core-self, and we prefer our sin over any other alternative narrative. (John 3:19)   We are abandoned to our sin, in point of fact. (Romans 1:23-31)  Sin compels us forward. (Ephesians 4:18-19)   Want to know why strife rules our world?  Because all of us are selfish, angry sinners who refuse to let go of the very things that cause strife.  We’re unrepentant, unforgiving, unwilling to let go.... bearing grudges over any preceived little thing.

And we feed off of this sin.... so that it entertains us... becomes our comedy, our drama, our overall entertainment.  Sin makes us laugh... sin draws our attention... sin becomes the dominant desire in our minds.... because sin.... compels us.

And Hollow-wood, feeds us exactly what we want, because Hollow-wood is just as equally dead in their sin.   They can conceive of life after death... but only if they first make it twisted and dark.  Only if they warp it to their own dark fetishes.

Zombie Nation????  There will be no nations in Hell.   And there will be no Zombies.   Every man will be fully conscious... fully aware.... and fully crushed by the weight of their own guilt for all the sin they’ve ever commited.   We think of Hell as some form of Barbeque pit, where we’ll all laugh and sit and drink beers.  An eternal party.

It’s not.

Hell will be punishment.... on an epic scale.

“God’s too good for that.  God would never punish us, for we are his children.”

Sorry, but that’s a lie.   The only folk who are “God’s children” are those ADOPTED INTO HIS FAMILY.  (Romans 8:14-15;  Ephesians 1:5)  ADOPTED..... because we’re not, by default, God’s family to begin with.

We’re not God’s family..... we’re his ENEMIES.... and as such, punishment is just, and deserved.  (Romans 5:8,10, Colossians 1:21)

We think Zombies are fun to watch.... because we think life after death is a joke, and this misreable world we dwell in is all that there is and all there could ever be.   We mock sin, and find our enjoyment from it.  And when true life-after-death is presented, we mock. Because blinded eyes cannot conceive of life any other way.

Well did Jesus state:

And this is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the Light; for their deeds were evil.   (John 3:19)

I’ve spent the last 2 months trying to figure out what I want to do with this Blog.  Is it to be narcissitically personal?  Is it to be Theologically astute?  Just what is my aim?

The only two rules I’ve set for myself, one spoken, one thus far unspoken til now, was (1st) to be succinct.   I am known for long, detailed posts which try to fill in as much background as is necessary to present and support my case.  At least I was.   I used to blog at Xanga from 2005 until 2012 when they went belly up. Back then, my posts averaged about 1500 words OR MORE.  That was then, this is now.

The second, rather unspoken, rule was this (2nd) that every title for every post would be drawn from the final words I say.   If you go back a re-read things, you’ll see it clearly.  I just never bothered saying so in public til now.

There are travel blogs, food blogs, gamer blogs and anime blogs.   Romance blogs, nostalgia blogs, TV show blogs and Macho blogs.   There’re blogs for every niche, nook and cranny in the psyche of today’s society.   And most all of them narcissitically driven.

And here I am.   Am I to be different?

I’ve sat and considered Elijah in the wilderness.   I have considered that one thing for nearly 5 years now.  When I focus on something, I throw myself in hard and I chew on it until I understand it, or know it, or can cite it backwards and forwards.  I once took 22 months to study ONE SINGLE WORD through all of scripture.   Nearly 2 years on one word..... verse by verse.   That’s the bent of my meditation when it comes to understanding something.  

I likewise spent 12 years on one single passage.... just because I wanted to understand why it said “Fruit” and not “Fruits”.   Yup.... 12 years on why said passage was not in the plural.

So for 5 years now, well... 6, I started in 2015 I just realized.... I’ve pondered being alone.  Jesus spent 40 days alone.  John the Baptist spent many years alone.  Elijah...... yeah, 3 years.   So God doesn’t always expect us to dwell in fellowship. But God does expect that we dwell “In Christ”, and I think this is far more important than having our backs patted ceremoniously once a week.

There is a song from the late 1980′s by “Theologian turned music star” Michael Card.   The name of the song was “That’s what Faith must be”, you can find it here.   Anyway, the song postulates that faith is: hearing with our heart, to see with our souls, to be guided by a hand we cannot hold, to trust in a way that we cannot see...

While I do not dispute Mr Card’s definition, I do think it’s a tad more “mystical” than it needs to be.  It places faith as something undefinable, something immaterial, something quite not knowable.... and I am not sure that this is the case.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately to defining faith.   It is the key aspect of true Christianity, the linchpin (if you will) of who is or is not real.  As Luther discerned: The just shall live by his faith.  (Romans 1:17, Habakkuk 2:4)

It would seem, then, that faith must be something definable, something tangible, something explainable..... if we are to live by it.

_____________

One of the key moments in my salvation --(which took nearly 9 years to get to...  I was a pretty stubborn young lad)-- was pulling out a dictionary, and setting it next to my Bible when I studied.  I realized that words had to have SPECIFIC, DEFINITE, CONCRETE meanings.... or else the message has no bearing or weight.

One of the first words I ever looked up was “Trust” --- because one of the first verses I grappled with was Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart lean not on your own understanding Acknowledge the Lord in all that you do And He will set your paths straight.

It seemed from that passage that Trust was a key component of everything that was “Christian” .... so I turned to the dictionary to determine “What is trust”?   What I found out, shocked me.

The words “Trust, Faith & Believe” are synonymous.  They define one another.   If you turn to Trust, you’ll find the words “Faith” and “Believe” in the definition.   If you turn to Faith.... you’ll find the words “Trust” and “Believe“ defining it.   Same with Believe..... so essentially, all three are bound together.  If you trust.... you have faith.... you believe.  You cannot separate one from the other two.

And thus you find it all throughout the Bible, once you come to understand this.   Where you see “Faith”,  you’ll also sometimes see “Trust” or “Believe”.   You’ll understand them as complimentary of one another.... and you start reading things a bit differently.

_________________

I was doing the dishes just now, thinking about Faith.  How do you define it, and something struck me.

Faith is remembering my past --- what the Lord has saved me from.   It is remembering all the sin I used to live in, all the rebellion that defined my life.   Faith is remembering these things, and turning with a thankful heart to God.... humbled that He would save me from such sins.

Faith doesn’t make me proud..... it humbles me.  Faith doesn’t gloat, as though I made me better.... it cries, because where I once was.... is not where I am any longer... not because of my own efforts, but because I simply “Trusted” God to forgive me.  I thus come to realize the gravity of my former actions --- and how greatly I deserved the judgement against me --- and yet, I know all the more, this is what God saved me from.

Faith looks to God, and remembers the forgiveness that was given.  Faith looks to God and remembers the hand that was extended to remove us from the mire.  Faith.... acts in response to these things, and humbly submits itself to do the Father’s bidding, even unto death.

Because God.... Jesus.... The Holy Spirit.... has acted on our behalf when we were helpless to do so.

Believe it or not.... and I mean this in the most earnest of manner and respect.... but one of the gravest errors in the church today is the assumption that we can pick up a book somewhere and simply “Self-help our way into holiness”.   The belief that the Christian life can be boiled down to 5 easy steps.  That following Jesus is some sort of recipe which follows the same pattern for one and all.

If it were up to me.... all Christian bookstores would be burned to the ground and the ashes scattered over the 7 seas.   I’ve seen nothing but error and disrespect of Christ over and over again in what most Christian bookstores choose to present to the church.  It’s almost as if they want to UNDO the work of Christ and the Spirit, themselves.

The chief error here is the assumption that Christianity, as a whole, can be boiled down to an easy formula.  Follow this lifestyle... do this.... don’t do that.... and you’re gaurunteed entry into the Kingdom and all it’s blessings.

Wasn’t the whole point of the Sermon on the Mount .... that you could NOT please God by following formulaic patterns and regimins of life-living?   Wasn’t it the whole point of that sermon to show that this sort of thinking only served to frustrate men and damn them ultimately?

There is but one Spirit, who teaches all of us to become more and more like Christ.   But that doesn’t mean that the Spirit does this in the same manner for each man.  Paul had to learn different lessons than Peter did.   The ultimate goal might have been Christlikeness.... but the path of getting there was different for each man because each of their sins were different.  Different rocks in the soil of each life, if you will.

God desires that all Christians be made into conformity to the likeness of his son.   That doesn’t mean there is only one way prescribed by Heaven for which all men must inherently follow.... There are no “5 easy steps” for any man.

True Christianity is a life-long process intent upon exposing our sinfulness, bidding us to repent, humble ourselves, and dying to ourselves in whatever it takes to get there.   This is different for each man, and there is no easy way for any man to get there.  All the foolishness of self-help rhetoric will not get you an inch closer to Heaven: You cannot become holy overnite.

Over the years I have heard many people talk about “Cookie Cutter Christians”.   When I have heard it mentioned, it has always carried a negative connotation, as if to say “All Christians are the same”.... or .... as if to say “THE CHURCH tends to push people into the same mold... any one who doesn’t ‘fit the mold’, doesn’t belong.”

I used to think that they were right, and that individuality was an important factor of being a Christian.  After all, Paul and Peter were not the same type of people.... right? Wrong.

While their personalities were dramatically different.... it wasn’t Peter’s ‘personality’ that mattered to Christ when He chose him to be a disciple.  And Paul.... murderous, boastful (read Phil. 3, it’s there), Christian-hater Paul.... wasn’t chosen for his sterling personality either.

What mattered.... was their openness to being shown their error.... their “Repentance”.... and their willingness to yeild EVERYTHING to becoming more like Christ.  Consider what Paul must have gone through when he went back to Jerusalem to tell those he once pal’d around with “Hey, I was wrong, Jesus really is the Messiah!”.  That’s a conversation I would have loved to have been involved in.

Scripture plainly states that we are all being made more and more “Into the likeness of Christ” (2 Corinthians 3:18).... and like it or not, that means we are all, each and every one of us, seeking to become the same thing:  The spitting image of Jesus, in all manner and aspects.  And there is ONLY ONE Christ... and thus only ONE image we are to conform to.  To seek something else.... is a slap in the face of God who calls us to this.

That would mean that those who bitterly asserted that the church was wrong in trying to conform everyone into the same mold........... were dead wrong themselves.  And those who complained that “All Christians are the same”... well... that was a compliment, if you review it in the proper light.

Our “Personalities” are peripheral to the issue of our being Christian --- our willingness to repent... to say we were wrong and to SEEK TO CONFORM TO the image of Christ..... is far more paramount an issue.

It bothers me, on a very deep level, when I see a church labeled as “Inter-denominational” or “Non-denominational”.  Over many long years I have come to know that this means “No outside authority, and any doctrinal position is ok.” That’s like saying “The world is both round and flat.”  Both are positions people take... but only one can be right.

Spent time over the last few days looking for a church here in Tainan. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are none out there who really understand the holiness of God. None out there who accept that the Bible is an authoritative book with SPECIFIC meanings to what it says.... and when it states a matter... that matter is true despite current societal whims.

None of them understand the gravity of sin.  How it permeates a man to his core and affects his every thought and action.  Even our “good deeds” are sinful in their nature.   Isaiah called them “used tampons before God”.  Hows that for a description of your innate “goodness”?  Dirty, soiled, bloody tampons.

When positivity is the message..... when feeling good about ourselves is the aim..... When the Bible is nothing more than a collection of myths and fairytales intent on teaching us how to live nicer with one another (I’ve heard this directly stated by a “im-Pastor”!).....   Then we’ve failed to comprehend the message of the gospel:   “God overlooked people’s ignorance about these things in earlier times, but now he commands everyone everywhere to repent of their sins and turn to him. For he has set a day for judging the world with justice by the man he has appointed, and he proved to everyone who this is by raising him from the dead.”  (Acts 17:30-31)

Judgement comes.... and our sinful disrespect of God, His son and His law is the reason for it.  Watering down the message doesn’t bring people to Heaven.... it LEAVES them in a hell they already are destined for.

Well, tonight is Shadow’s night.  Every night of the week I let a different cat sleep with me and Shadow is probably my favorite.

He’s only been with us for a year, and he’s still quite skittish about trusting us.  Yet when we pick him up and take him to, say, the couch or bed..... he just melts into a puddle next to us.  He’s the most wonderful and relaxing cat I’ve ever encountered.

There was a time when we didn’t know what to name him.  We tried “Drax” cause he has this way of moving super slow towards whatever he has his eye set on.  The first time he did it... he wanted to cuddle with our oldest cat, Xiao-Hu (Little Tiger) .... and it took him 30+ minutes to move across a queen sized bed... ever so slowly, so as not to scare Xiao-Hu away.  It was adorable to watch.

But he doesn’t respond to Drax... neither does he respond to Shadow for that matter.  If anything, he responds to “Chubby”.  He gained almost 8-10 pounds (I don’t know what the kilo-whatever is... I get lost just thinking that way) in the first few months that we had him. 

My banner / self-pic is supposed to be a complimentary thing at the moment.... showing two sides of the same thing --- which I think was perfectly acted out by Vivian Sung in the amazing Taiwanese movie “Our Times” (I saw this movie in the theater 5 times.... 3 times in the opening week!)

In this scene, Vivian Sung’s character “Lin Tru-li” (always mispelled as Truly) meets the guy she has fallen in love with, “Hsu Tai-Yu”, on the roof of their school.   By this time in the movie, she’s helped him attain the girl he wanted, Min-Min, who can be seen in the background standing beside him holding an umbrella.

That’s the set up.

When the scene opens, Truly has brought Tai-Yu up on the roof where they used to meet in order to say goodbye.... and maybe find room to express how she really feels.   As the scene progresses, it starts to rain and Min-Min shows up with an umbrella for her boyfriend, Tai-Yu.

Realizing she can’t say what she wants to say, Truly runs off using her school book as a covering from the rain.  As she does so, you can see her face is covered in sorrow as she realizes that she’s lost the boy she has grown to love.  She is crushed in defeat...

That is the banner part of my Blog, which shows up perfectly.   The gif file plays and you can see the scene play out.

But the picture I use is also a gif.  It shows the other half of what happens.  As Truly is leaving, She turns back to wave goodbye and her face is smiling as she does so. Though her heart is breaking, she fakes the perfect smile as though to say to Tai-Yu “I’m OK, goodbye”.  She’s not OK.... and yet the smile says she is.

Duality.  The face we show and how things really are.  It’s well played out here, and I thought it would be a perfect compliment to my “Bachelor Husband” theme.  Except the profile pic gif isn’t working.  Grrrrr.

Suffice to say, I’m frustrated.

I’ve since changed my Profile and header, so here’s the originals as they should have been.

This isn’t really a blog for massive public view.  I honestly don’t care if I get a million followers, to me that’s pointless.  As such, if you’re reading this, DON’T subscribe.   I’m not interested in having you follow my thoughts.  Critiquing my words, opinions or statements.  DO NOT subscribe, and that’s the honest way of things here.

It’s now day 4 of my living alone.  The cats seemed to have settled in nicely.  I’m still unpacking boxes sorting through what goes where and organizing.  I hope its done soon.

Need a job, something to do.  Money has never been a concern of mine.  God provides, and that is that.  I wouldn’t have gotten this far had it not been for Him leading me here, so I don’t worry.  What’s the point?

Still, the wife does worry, and even though we’ve enough to cover the two households we’ve now established, she constantly frets about paying for this or that.  If she’d stop buying things online... maybe there would be the money she seeks.  Just a thought.

I haven’t started a “routine” yet, and it’s bugging me.  I did set up an Exel sheet for use of my time.  Nice to see some progress there.... but I really do need to start building habits for things I know are important.  I guess it will come in time.

so nice to finally be alone.... I know it’s only for the next year or two.... or six.... but still... I will cherish it while I have it.  I haven’t even left the house in 3 days... haven’t spent a single dollar anywhere... and cooking for myself has been a joy.